The Passing Years
by rainypromise
Summary: After Eclipse,Jacob came back, got his life together and did pretty good,then he found out that for the last two years, Bella had been living in Port Angeles, that she was still human and unmarried. So now, of course, all bets are off.
1. Years Past

years past

The Passing Years

**A Twilight Fanfiction**

years past

**I**t's been four years, but the memory of her was still fresh in Jacob Black's mind.

Hard for it not to be, since he was surrounded with familiar places and familiar faces.

She never called.

He hears about her once in a while from Charlie, trivial stuff, ordinary stuff. He can't believe Charlie—a cop—bought her false assurance and half lies. '_I'm fine, I'm good, college is great'_ were her usual responses. She never went into the personal stuff, never went into details.

Jacob wonders about her change.

The bitterness left him two years back and he was able to function without thinking of her for long periods of time, so he don't know what it was about today that made her scramble across his mind.

He almost muddled an oil change, a task that he could do with one hand tied behind his back and two of his eyes close…when he was _eight_.

He passed high school—barely—and started a garage with Embry and Quil two years later. It was hard, sure, and they almost didn't survive the first year, but they persevered and fumbled through. It was a good thing that Jacob already had a name for fixing stuff on the rez, and those same people said some things to the right people. It helped that there was no decent—reasonably priced—garage around Forks for people to go to.

Besides, it was fun working with his brothers—most of the time.

They have our strengths and weaknesses, and their contrast in character blended into their work seamlessly, complementing each other with their different skill sets. Quil was the people person, Jacob was the machine whisperer, as they jokingly call him, and Embry was the man for the details and paperwork who nagged both of them constantly.

If they needed some extra hands, the pack was always ready to help.

Jacob's hands fumbled with the box wrench and he cursed silently. He was never going to finish this in time if he kept going like this. He ducked out of the hood and picked up a bottle of water.

The sky was darkening, and from the scent of the air, it looked like rain.

"Jake, man. You're not done yet?"

He rolled his eyes at Embry's arrival, his voice already taking on that needling tone that he got whenever something didn't fit in his schedule. "It will be."

"I'm just saying, that Mike kid will come to pick it up at-"

"Nine. I know, Embry."

Embry eyed him the way a good friend would when they noticed something was wrong. "You've been distracted all day."

Jacob wiped the sweat off his face with the bandana that he kept in his back pocket. "Just some things on my mind."

"What kind of things?"

He turned back toward the car and ducked under the hood, fiddling with the machine without really thinking, hoping Embry would go away, knowing that he wouldn't. Embry saw the look on his face. "Jake-"

"I know."

"You have to-"

"I _know_, Embry. Give it a rest." He can sense his friend's eyes on him, but ignored that too. Whatever Embry was going to say was cut short when footsteps entered the garage. "Boys, how's it going?"

Embry stepped up to the plate, knowing he wasn't in the mood for visitors. "Good, Parker. How are you?"

Peter Parker was an amiable man who knew nothing about machines and had a fondness for a good chat, so he was a familiar face around the garage. Well-rounded and white-haired, they've joked often enough that he looked like Santa Claus and behaved like one too. Always good-natured, always had candy for the kids that followed him around like he was God, always had a smile for everyone, and the name was enough to have some kids do some hero-worshipping.

He was one of our customers that Jacob didn't hate for what they did to their cars. At the very least, Parker admitted his ineptitude and followed his orders to a T.

Jacob smiled and waved hi with the bandana to the older man.

"How are you, Jacob?"

"I'm good, Parker."

"My." He squinted his blue eyes at the both of them. "Are you guys still growing? You look bigger every time I see you."

Embry snorted. "Unlikely, Parker. If we get any bigger, we'll be giants. You came for your sedan, then? It's ready."

"Yes, yes." He nodded. "You boys are always so punctual."

The smile on Embry's face was sharp as he turned to look at Jacob. "We try. I'll get it for you."

He patted Jacob on the back. "I'll wait here with Jacob, then.

How is your father, Jacob?"

"He's good."

"Sam and Emily? Still wrapped up in marital bliss?"

He smiled at the thought of Sam and Emily's wedding a year ago. "Sickeningly."

Parker laughed. "Glad to hear it. When you're old like me, Jacob, you relish any kind of good news that you get."

They turned at the sound of a dying engine at the front door and saw Embry getting out of Parker's car. "Here you go, Parker. Don't let it tempt you to let loose on the highway now."

Parker grinned. "And here's your check." The check disappeared into one of Embry's jacket pockets the way Quil's money does whenever he enters into a bet with him.

Parker was on his way outside when he turned as in afterthought. "You know Chief Swan's daughter, Isabella, don't you, boys?"

Embry slid his dark eyes at Jacob, probably sensing his tension. "Yes."

"I saw her in Port Angeles the other day, so I wondered whether she was back."

"That's not possible." Jacob muttered through stiff lips.

The man nodded. "Yes, I did hear she was in…Alaska? Was it?"

"Yes." He breathed out against the wild thump of my heart. "So it can't possibly be her."

"I'm pretty sure it was her, Jacob. I saw her from up close. She was even wearing that unique bracelet of hers." He rolled his eyes. "I remembered because my granddaughter wanted one just like it – the one with the charms; a wolf and a seashell."

Jacob felt the blood drain from his face and his heart clenched tightly in remembrance.

"Oh well. Maybe she was just visiting." He waved at us, not realizing that Jacob was frozen in place.

"Jake."

He shook my head and turned away from Embry's probing eyes. "Leave it alone."

"I saw her too, Jake."

He turned back to him. "What?"

"I saw her at Charlie's when we were patrolling. " He smiled warily at him. "She left us cookies and milk." He shifted his feet. "She's back."

Jacob blinked at him; his mind wasn't able to process this new piece of information. "What?"

"She's back. She's been back for months."

Jacob tossed down the remaining water that he had, but my throat still burned. "…matter."

"What?"

"It doesn't matter."

Embry looked at him like he was nuts. "I'm telling you that the girl you've been driving yourself crazy over is back and you say it doesn't matter?"

"Yes."

"Jake, don't you get it? She's still human. She's not in Alaska with them. The vampires didn't follow her. She wasn't even wearing a ring."

"What?" He repeated dumbly, his brain numbed with shock.

"I don't think she's married."

He shook his head, trying not to hope, but it gripped his heart with tight, slippery fingers. "No, I was there, Embry."

"You were there before it even started. It was delayed – she was sick or something. Then the next thing we know, they moved. Who knows what happened? Maybe she changed her mind."

Jacob turned away and kicked the toolbox. It clanged loudly as it slid to a corner. "Damn it, Embry. Why are you telling me this? For years, you guys kept telling me I should move on."

"Have you?"

He glared at him, trying to smother the pain with anger. "Have I _what_?"

"Moved on."

He didn't have an answer to that, so he just stomped away to pick up the toolbox. "I don't want to talk about it. For once I'm listening to you guys, ok? I'm staying far away."

"She asked us not to tell you."

The taste of betrayal was slick and acidic, though Jacob wasn't quite clear on whose betrayal hurt most. "Whatever."

"She probably didn't want to lead you on again. But since now you already know, I just thought I'd clear it up for you."

"It's clear." He narrowed his eyes at the tangle of wires he was supposed to be working on.

"She has a bookstore/café in Port Angeles. It's quite popular."

"Great."

_Books and food, it suits her._

"It's called Bells."

When he didn't react, Embry threw his hands up in the air. "Look, she asked us not to tell you, but come on, this is a small town. Sure, she doesn't live at Charlie's anymore, but you're bound to see one another. She knows that. She's probably waiting for you to notice."

"Fine." he wrenched my tools out of the box and dove into the hood.

"Jake-"

"Didn't you say this should be done by nine?" he asked Embry without looking his way. He kept up his pretense well after he heard Embry's feet shuffle back into the office, and then he just sat down on the floor and relearned how to breathe.


	2. Unfinished Business

**2. unfinished business**

Jacob waited in the shadows, something that he got good at doing through the years.

Patience was something that he had in abundance now, not that he lacked any earlier on, but when you go hairy every time you get angry, you learn to demand more from yourself.

Funny how it's his werewolf side that taught him how to be a better human.

But sometimes, that's just what we need – a pressure point to push us over the edge, stretch our sanity, our reason, test us over and over again so we can finally find out who we are, what we are capable of.

Jacob was tested more than most.

Young blood eased over the years, thickened, slowed so that it usually took more than a random problem to anger him, but Jacob found himself unable to quench the boil in his blood as he waited in the gathering dark. For this was no random problem. What he was dealing with now was far from random; it was The Problem, one that haunted his dreams and waking days for years.

He clenched his hands into fists when the person he was watching took a cursory look at where he was standing and—seeing nothing but shadows—turned away.

He couldn't quite differentiate the twist in his stomach as relief or bitterness. Relief that she didn't see him, skulking around like a stalker; bitter because she—once again—turned away from him like she did all those years ago.

Bella Swan.

Childhood love, best friend.

The only girl who stayed with him in the roughest days of his life, the girl who kept breaking his heart and always, always leaves him wanting more.

He remembered their parting words, their whispered promises.

They kept none of them.

She didn't call like she promised, and after the first few months worrying himself sick, seeing ghosts and listening to Charlie's short explanations of how his daughter was doing, he didn't wait any longer like he promised to.

Or at least it seemed like that to the outside world.

He lived his life, did his duty, enjoyed everything new that passed his life, appreciated everything old and constant as he moved on.

When he lied in bed, drifting on the edges of sleep, a small part of him stayed awake, waiting.

And it was that part that crowed, smug with triumph, choked with joyous tears, that she was alive, that she was here, that she was unmarried.

_That doesn't have anything to do with this_, he chastised himself, snapping at the little piece inside him that was still so pathetically hopeful, still throbbed at the sight of her face no matter how much he bled for her still.

"What the hell am I doing here?" He muttered to himself, his voice so hard, so angry that a couple walking by took one glance at him and scurried away.

His eyes followed her movement, watched how she smiled at a co-worker and he tried not to seethe with fury.

_What is she doing? Alone with a guy in the middle of the night? Have years of being chased down by vampires taught her nothing?_

He supposed that normal guys didn't really feel like a threat anymore, considering what she's gone through.

He fumed in silence, glaring at the guy who passed her a cup of coffee after dimming the lights, laughing at what she said.

Heat flared along his spine when she laughed back.

"What the hell am I doing here?" He repeated his question, but gentler this time, with the flimsiest hint of pain trembling along the ridges.

Unconsciously, the fierce scowl on his face softened when he saw her stretch, rubbing her back before she sat on a chair. There were dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, but they glowed with pleasure.

She looked happy.

He stared at the store she owned. _Bells_, he read the signboard, simple, friendly, filled with memories.

_Foods and books, it suits her,_ he thought again.

_Why the hell hadn't she called?_ The ugly anger snapped at the domestic, cozy scene that played before his eyes.

The guy joined her at the table as they chatted easily, comfortably, _like she used to do with you_, a little voice whispers inside his head.

_Why did she tell Embry not to tell me?_ He aimed a look at the stranger across from Bella, surprised that he didn't drop dead from the malice that he put in it. _Is it because of him? She had found his replacement, then?_

_Is she robbing him of his best friend status as well?_

There was something off-putting about the guy; young by the way he sprawled on the chair, careless and unassuming.

Jacob didn't like him, didn't like him at all.

He is way too blond for his liking, way too pale in the warm soothing light.

When they laughed again, his hand shuddered with hurt rather than anger, though it didn't take long for him to veer in that direction.

The guy stood and left to the back room as she started to lift chairs onto tables and reached for the mop that was close by.

She looked so peaceful, so at ease, so relaxed, that vicious irritation pricked his brain with merciless jabs and twists.

He remembered all the sleepless nights, the agonizing worry that gnawed at his insides at the thought of her change, if somehow something goes wrong and she ends up dead. Months, months of bleeding and aching over nothing!

The anger boiled over and spewed in a constant stream of poison. It didn't matter that she was alive and well, it didn't matter that she looked so happy in her little book cafe, it doesn't matter that she's still human.

What did matter was his anger, his hurt, the sense of betrayal that went so deep it stabbed him every time he took a breath. A selfish moment, for sure, but maybe it was about time.

She was in dire need of a talking to, and she damn well had a lot of explaining to do. Maybe she didn't need to explain to her parents – what the hell could she tell them, anyway? She definitely would not feel obligated to explain her reasons to the pack or to anyone around her, but she had an obligation to him.

In the short time it took for him to cross the road and onto the sidewalk, he was working on a volcanic mass of red burning anger. His eyes focus solely on her as he wrenches the door open.

Surprise shot through his anger when the door opened easily, _she didn't even lock the door! _A small part of his mind gnashed its teeth in exasperation, adding to his anger.

_Well, at the very least,_ Jacob thought, _the most dangerous thing in these parts is me._

He saw her freeze. He knew it wasn't because she heard his steps, but because of the cool gush of wind at her back from the open door.

She twisted, but before he can see her face, see her expression, and before he can deliver the most scalding setdown he had ever given to anyone, it was his werewolf reflexes that saved him from having his face bashed in by a _mop_ of all things.

His dark eyes snapped at her. "What the _hell_, Bella?"

In the dim lighting, she froze, her arms still holding up the mop like it was a baseball bat, drenching her hands with water.

She blinked at him before relaxing her tense muscles, the mop sliding out of her suddenly jelly-like fingers. "Jacob?" She gasped out. "Is that _you_?"

"If there is any wailing to be done, it should be _me_ doing it." He caught the mop seconds before it touched the floor in a move too quick for her eyes to see.

"I'm sorry." She squeaked, the fire and adrenalin rushing out of her in one quick whoosh. With an exasperated breath, he pulled a chair down and shoved her on it. "Sit down before you pass out."

She blinked at him. "Okay."

A scuffling sounded from the back, but Jacob's glare didn't waver from Bella's pale face. "Bella?" The boy that was with her before appeared at the kitchen door. "Is everything okay—"

"It's fine, Brian." Bella—her head between her legs—waved airily at him.

Jacob leaned his hips against a table, crossing his muscular arms across his broad chest when Brian stared at him with wide eyes. The boy gulped, but bravely stood his ground. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. Yes." She piped in, finally lifting her head, offering the boy a smile. "I'm sure. This is Jacob Black, an... old friend of mine."

When Brian's eyes came back to him, Jacob merely stared with a steely look in his eyes.

Brian shuffled his feet, physically shrinking into his shadow. "Okay."

Bella twisted on her seat. "Why don't you go on home? I'll close up."

The teen's blue eyes flicked back from Bella to him, and Jacob knew he was fighting off the urge to flee. "I can stay."

"It's okay, Brian. Really."

He nodded reluctantly. "The espresso machine's a no-go, by the way."

Bella sighed. "You tried."

Jacob watched them go through the motions, waiting for the kid to go away.

Bella waved at the kid and closed the door. She stayed with her back to him, probably trying to figure out what to say, and then she turned and looked at him with anxious eyes. For a moment, she looked like her a seventeen-year-old self again.

He was torn between feeling nostalgic, pleased and irritated. Oh, not to mention there was that silent ripping sensation in his chest at the sight of her in the muted light, her hair longer than it ever was, held up in a ponytail.

He kept his earlier stance, not giving her anything—a smile, a look, a word—for her to work with. He merely stared at her with impassive but steady eyes.

She stared quietly back.

He was adamant on not being the one to talk first. For one thing, the words he wanted to say to her were choking him, and she looked far too tired and far too delicate to stand under the weight of his anger.

It didn't help that she looked like she was expecting a lashing.

Guilt was smeared all over her face so that although he refused to be sidetracked, he felt himself soften.

And wasn't that always the problem?

But he wasn't willing to give his anger and bitterness away so quickly.

No, it felt too comfortable, too right, that he wanted to feel like this just a moment longer, to ride on the wave of self-righteousness at least until she looked strong enough for him to let it out and give her a piece of his mind.

Jacob watched her watch him and concluded nothing would come out of their staring competition but eye strain so, practical as he was, Jacob decided they needed something to distract them and pass the time with.

"What's wrong with the espresso machine?"

Bella stared, obviously unsure of his intention, but was glad for anything he was willing to give her. "I don't know exactly. It just… stopped working."

"Where is it?" He kept his voice low and clipped, and it carried across the room, across the creeping shadows.

"Behind the counter."

He straightened and walked to where she pointed. He could almost feel her confusion pulsing in the air, but ignored her, focusing on the espresso machine. Jacob felt her confusion hover in the air, but being Bella—she was also practical in some ways—she reached for the mop and continued cleaning the floors.

He tinkered with the machine longer than necessary—sneering inwardly at the kid who attempted to fix it but failed—listening to her easy breathing, the sounds she made while she moved across the floor, humming to herself.

He didn't notice he was smiling until he caught his reflection on the shiny surface of the machine and scowled back at it.

For the sake of ruining the moment and just to take the edge off his restlessness, he dropped the tool he was holding so it clattered loudly against the other tools in the toolbox and felt a petty kind of satisfaction when she jumped a foot in the air.

He wiped his hands on a rag, a nonchalant look on his face.

"Don't let anyone touch it, I'll be back tomorrow after work."

He saw the hopeful look in her eyes—the embers of his own flickering back to life at the sight of them—and put the cool and calm look back in his eyes, smoothing out his face and he watched her eyes darken with disappointment, sadness and hurt.

He turned his back on her and pulled the door open, but couldn't help but ask her, "Do you need a ride home? Wherever that is now?"

A small, whimsical smile curved her lips. "I am home."

He cocked a dark eyebrow.

A slim finger pointed up. "I live upstairs."

"Oh." He didn't know why he found that piece of information intriguing, but tucked it back inside his mind. "Fine." His dark eyes shifted outside. "Lock the door behind me."

He opened the door wider and stepped through it.

"Jacob."

He merely turned his body a little bit, showing her the angle of cheekbone.

"I'll…I'll see you tomorrow."

His eyes shifted to hers, saw her soft face, hope surfacing again in her eyes, but her fingertips were white around the handle of the mop. He turned without answering her, but as he gunned his motorcycle, his eyes searched the store's window and saw that she was watching him.

When he streaked through the lonely street, he ignored the telling easiness in how he gathered breath.


	3. Mixed Signals

**3. mixed signals**

Bella frowned at her staff that—strangely—stayed way over their working hours, easily chatting over cleaning tables and mopping the floors. Even Tina—usually the first to disappear after her work hours are over—stayed.

Something was obviously up.

She tapped her fingers over the counter she was supposed to wipe and as a suspicion wavered in her head, whipped her head towards Brian who had—oddly—avoided looking into her eyes for the length of the day.

"You okay, honey?"

Bella sidled her gaze towards Lulu, the matronly figure with the unmatronly appearance—her hair blindingly pink, cut short with spikes at the top, multiple piercing on her left ear—her bright blue eyes twinkled merrily back at her. "I'm fine."

Lulu pursed her lips—smeared with glossy kick ass red. "You sure? You look a little…tense."

Bella could sense the rising interest among the little crowd behind her, she loved them, she did, she considered herself lucky for finding such congenial and friendly staff but they were so…_nosy_.

"I'm not tense." Bella inwardly winced at the defensive tone in her voice.

"Are you waiting for someone?" Tina piped up, her pale green eyes brightening, a sneaky smile curved her lips between the veil of her blond hair. Slim and slender, Tina looked like what ballet dancers should look like.

Bella huffed and glowered at Brian who was staring all too closely at the package of coffee beans before aiming her brown eyes toward the females "Alright, what did he tell you?"

They laughed—the cheerful sound suited the warm, female tone of the store's interior. "Just that someone got a late night visit from an _old_ friend."

It was amazing how Misha—a girl who was two years younger than Bella and looked even younger than her true age—made that totally innocent sentence into something more.

"Jacob _is_ an old friend."

Lulu pounced before Bella even realized she made a mistake. "Aha! His name is Jacob."

"Jacob." Tina twittered, rolling the letters on her tongue. "I like it."

"So, is he going to visit again?" Misha asked, leaning closer from across the counter. Bella ignored her and wiped the counter, vigorously. Their interest in her social life is far from flattering, it just goes to show how lacking it was.

"So, Brian. What does _Jacob_ look like?" Lulu slid to the booth Brian was sitting on, refilling sugar.

"Big." Brian grinned when Misha and Tina joined them at the booth, all the while giving out appreciative female noises. "Bad." He grinned at Bella when she gave him a betrayed expression. "Built."

Bella felt a headache brewing when the girls—Lulu included—squealed with excitement. Now she remembered why she didn't have a lot of girl friends.

"Brian." Elongating his name into a whine. The teenage boy shrugged, a small smile on his face. "Lulu bribed me with cookies."

Since Bella hired Lulu for her cookies, she couldn't quite blame the boy, besides, it's not like what he said was wrong.

Jacob did look big, bad and built: the leather jacket, the ripped jeans, the broad shoulders that filled the doorway.

She tried not to think about it, tried not to wonder about whether he was really going to come again, tried not to _wait_, unsuccessfully she had to admit since there was already a pie in the oven, you know, just in case he's hungry. Bella snorted, of course he's hungry. He's _always_ hungry and was willing to stay a while.

She frowned, not that she's trying to bribe him as Lulu used her cookies on Brian or anything, it was the least she could do since he was getting out of his way to fix her espresso machine.

She'd missed him, she could admit that much but she promised not to use that as an excuse or a weapon. _Not that I could_, she thought as she remembered Jacob's chilly gaze, it was up to him now, whether he wanted to be friends with her again…she really hoped he would. She tried to convince herself that yesterday was a good sign, that he'd miss her just as much as she missed him but after observing the cool and dutiful way he acted as if he was just fulfilling an obligation, ludicrous of course, for what kind of obligation does he owe her anyway?, when he should've yelled at her as he would several years ago, she felt her hopes heavy on her shoulders.

Years, she couldn't quite believed it but then again she could, where she survived on her own without Jacob, without—she felt her heart twist—Edward. She couldn't quite figure out how she survived.

_One day at a time,_ her mind provided.

One day at a time where she actually let the world in, discovering the little things that caught her up in strong colorful currents where she was helpless to do nothing but plunged in.

Time went fast those days…until she remembered cold kisses and sweltering, bone breaking, hugs, then time would slow if not stop, the fast undercurrents of her life hitched and dragged before reality came-a-calling and forced her to pick up her pace or drown.

There were times when she chose to drown.

Days where she closed her eyes and sank into the deepest dark of her mind where she was met by…but it came few and far in between.

She was stronger now, certainly older if not wiser.

But she couldn't help but miss what she had.

Now one of them had reappeared without warning, without apology, not that he had anything to apologize for, she remembered the numbing sensation that glossed over her mind at the sight of him; big, bad, built, she had to admit that those words fit Jacob to a T, at least his physical attributes and the sudden hard bump her heart had made when she finally realized who it was that walked straight into her café, pissed by the look on his face and almost got whacked in the face by a mop, _though, _Bella's hand movements stopped as she mused, _the mop would probably break as easy as my hand did._

The memory amused her now more than it irritated her.

Her ponderings broke over Misha's silent frustrated screech. "But what does he _look _like? Details, Brian. _Details_." She continued when Brian, his face mutinous, opened his mouth to again repeat what he'd been saying over and over again; big, bad, built.

Brian sighed but perked up when Lulu waved a chocolate cookie in front of his eyes. "He's got long hair, black. To his shoulders."

The information earned him a biteful of cookie. He squinted his eyes, trying to see the big, intimidating man again in his mind as he chewed. "He's probably like 6 foot something."

"6' 7"." Bella supplied against her better judgment that made the girls face widen with grin that could only be said as lascivious.

"Native American, that was obvious." Brian continued, he focused on the cookie Lulu had in her fingers that he didn't see the sulk in his boss's eyes. His eyes flickered to the door before they flickered back to his audience, a curious smile appearing on his cute face that got Bella's back up. "Girls, it's your lucky day."

Before Misha, Lulu, Tina and Bella asked what he meant by that, the door opened with a cheerful tinkle of bells, they hadn't taken them off yet, and in enter Jacob.

Big. Bad. Built.


	4. Rumours

4. rumors

_**I**__n all the café books in all the world, he has to walk into mine,_ Bella thought as she watched Jacob strode into the—suddenly small looking—café, a nervous giggle bubbling up her throat at the way his dark eyes honed in immediately on her once he opened the door. She hoped desperately that the guilty flush that rose up her throat was not interpreted as anything else but that, and—her flush deepening—she hoped fervently that he hadn't heard anything that her friends talked about.

The odds were not in her favor.

"Jacob." She waved from her place from behind the counter with a limp hand, ignoring the way Brian, Lulu, Tina and Misha stared up at them from their perch at the corner booth. Jacob nodded at them politely but walked silently toward her. "Charlie wanted me to give you this."

Bella frowned. "Dad?" For the first time, she realized that he had a plastic bag in his hands. She got several tupperwares out of it, the ones that she usually leaves at the house filled with food for Charlie to heat up.

She looked up at him in question.

"He was with dad today, he mentioned that he was going up to see you to deliver this." He shrugged those massive shoulders. "I promised to come by after work so I might as well take it up for him."

"I told him not to do that, I could pick it up if he only told me."

Jacob gave her a weird look, a look that he got when she was missing something obvious. "I don't think he comes here for the tupperwares."

Bella blinked, once again finding herself wondering on how much Jacob actually saw. He's just so perceptive that most of the time it makes her feel…immature. "How is Billy, by the way? I mean, Charlie talks about him…"

"He's good." The answer was clipped and short, as if he realized he was being way too friendly and wanted to just go back to business, he shifted his feet to look over her head at the espresso machine. Bella couldn't help but feel a little stung by—what she saw as—his dismissal of her. "You don't really have to if you're too busy, you know." She bit her lip at the sharp, petulant tone in her voice. It was unreasonable of her, she knew. Here he was, after work and she was pouting because he didn't want to talk to her.

Well, if he was being all business-like about it, so could she. "I have to pay you of course-" she trailed off when Jacob place a large hand on her right shoulder and pushed her gently but firmly aside so he could walk through, his voice tired and flat, "Shut up, Bells, and let me work."

She gaped at him but was ignored as he planted himself in front of the espresso machine, but even as she realized that Charlie and Billy must know that they've met and were probably gossiping like mad, and from the corner of her eyes she could see her staff elbow each other like their trying to break each other's ribs, she couldn't quite smother the happy voice that sighed in her mind because she also realized something else; _he called me Bells_.

The warm fuzzy feeling didn't last, instead it was replaced by irritation and—she cringed—irrational jealousy at the way her staff twittered around Jacob. She couldn't quite decide whether she was jealous of the way Jacob immediately bonded with her friends or because her staff was encroaching on her time with Jacob.

Maybe a little bit of both.

She folded napkins in her solitary corner—actually felt her face settling into a sulk—all the while glaring at the happy group in front of her. Brian—who was so intimidated before—had stars in his eyes as he watched and listened to Jacob who—patiently and generously—explained to him how to fix the espresso machine. Looking at them, it reminded her of how Jacob was with Seth and that of course made her think of the pack and Emily and life at the reservation.

She was not surprised by how her friends immediately gravitated and liked Jacob, she would have been more surprise if they hadn't. He just had a way with him that made everybody trusts him.

She pressed on a napkin with far too much force when Lulu—for the third time—pressed Jacob to eat one of her cookies while Misha topped his coffee.

_He's not here to eat and drink coffee, he's here to fix the espresso machine._

_And make up with me, _a small and mutinous voice added to her rant. A voice that sounded way too much like a spoiled child that wasn't getting enough attention.

"Hey, Bella." Tina came back from the kitchen with a big smile. "Can we eat the peach pie that's in the oven?"

The napkin in her hand crumpled into a pathetic ball. "Sure." _Yeah, whatever. Why not?_ _You already have my friend, why not my pie, too?_

Brian surfaced enough from his hero worship to hear the word pie, his head popped out of the counter. "Peach pie? Want some of that."

"Me, too." Lulu chimed in, spoon already in hand. "You're in luck, Jacob. Bella's peach pie is fit for the Gods."

"I'll get you a plate, Jake." Misha followed Brian, bickering as they go.

_Jake, is it?_ Bella's fingers twitched around the crumpled napkin.

She lifted her eyes and met Jacob's dark ones. "They're nice."

"Yeah, _sure_." She caught the bite in her tone and tried to fight the guilty flush that resulted. "No, I mean, they are…" She trailed off as he merely stared at her with a shadow of familiar amusement. "They _are_." She muttered inaudibly.

"Here we go." Tina balanced the pie and a pot of coffee on her two hands while Lulu, Brian and Misha followed her like chicks, banging spoons and plates together.

It made her smile.

Brian closed his eyes at his first spoonful. "Oh, _man_. I _swear._ It gets better and better every time."

Lulu squinted at her spoonful before gobbling it up. "Someday, Bella. Someday. I will know your secret and you will bow to me."

Bella felt her lips widened in a smug grin, feeling pretty triumphant that Lulu—the baking wizard—didn't have a clue on why her peach pie tastes so great. It made the older woman crazy. She was feeling pretty satisfied that she totally forgot her earlier tension on having Jacob sit beside her, if he wasn't so big, if she wasn't so in tune with his every movement, she could even—almost—forgot that he was there.

"Well, it still tastes the same so she probably still used…" Jacob blinked when Bella—much to the frustration and surprise of her cronies—suddenly slapped a hand on his mouth. Shock rippled across her palm and up her arm at the touch, she'd forgotten how hot he was.

Slowly—like she accidentally came upon an irritated bear—she took her hand off his mouth, grimacing inwardly—flushing outwardly—and tried to ignore the residue of heat and the feel of his lips on her suddenly damp palm. She forced herself to meet his eyes. "Sorry, it's just…it's a secret." She explained listlessly.

Jacob merely looked at her without acknowledging her explanation but the pulsing tension between them burst to bits when Lulu hissed in frustration, her blue eyes flashing with aggravation. "Jacob, you know? You _do_, don't you? That's just not fair."

Jacob's wide lips spread in a teasing smile. "Of course I know. I was the one who created the secret recipe."

Tina, Misha and Brian gawked while Lulu sucked in a breath. "No, you _didn't_."

"Yes, I did."

"No, he didn't."

Jacob and Bella answered simultaneously and then stared at each other.

"I did."

"You didn't."

Jacob scoffed. "I was the one who got the idea—"

In a fit of self righteousness, Bella huffed, forgetting her wariness and her earlier hesitation. "You were horsing around and accidentally knocked over…" Bella trailed off when she noticed the four pair of multi-colored and multi-shaped eyes that observed them with far too much interest,"…the stuff."

"And _who_ bought…the stuff?"

Bella stared at him with disbelief. "And _who_ told you to buy...the stuff?"

"Who finally figured out the right combination of the," His eyes flicked to Lulu who was nearly salivating,"…stuff?"

"_I_ did." Bella narrowed her eyes in irritation. "You merely tasted and say..'yeah, this is good', which was no help at all, by the way."

Jacob ignored her. "And wasn't the one that got my mark of approval was the one that tasted the best?"

Bella opened her mouth to debate but couldn't quite find fault with what he said. She frowned, thought over, conceded, than negotiated. "Joint effort?"

He wasn't quite looking at her but a small smile quirked his lips. "Agreed."

Bella didn't realize she was smiling at him until she saw the flicker in his eyes, she fought the searing hurt when he suddenly stood up. "It's late, I better finish the machine."

She huddled onto the booth she was sitting on, it wasn't until he stood away that she realized that he was unconsciously warming her. She felt the lost of warmth immediately. "OK." She kept her voice as light. "I'll wrap some of this for you to take to Billy."

He brushed a hand over his shoulder-length hair and she had to stop herself from sighing at the familiar sight, her heart ached when he didn't spare her a glance. "Yeah, that'd be great."

Bella returned her gaze to her half-eaten pie when he took a few steps toward the counter and focused so much on it that she almost dropped her spoon when Jacob called her name.

"If you have something for Charlie, I don't mind taking it up to him, too."

She couldn't look up; she was too busy blinking away the moisture in her eyes. It wasn't quite an olive branch, but it was close enough that Bella wanted to grab at it with both hands, she wondered if she did, would he pull away?

"Yeah, that's…that's nice of you, Jacob." She couldn't help the softness in her voice. Her stomach sunk when—from the corner of her eyes—she saw him step back, his usually warm and husky tone of voice lowered and chilled like an invisible wall between them. "Don't mention it."

He didn't look at her after that and she stayed at the corner, away from the warm, cheerful circle of her friends that crowded around Jacob. She ignored the inquisitive gaze of Tina's and Misha's and the sympathetic look in Lulu's.

Brian however, didn't seem to notice a thing.

"Say, Jake." Tina propped herself on the counter. "Are you a Quileute?"

Bella saw Jacob tipped his head back to look at her. "Yeah."

Tina grinned, turned and crossed her legs on the counter—the one that Bella had just wiped. "Do you know the Redcreeks? Matthew and Gabriel?"

Jacob's hands stilled as he twisted toward her, his frowning expression made her laugh. "I take it you _do_ know them?"

He wiped a hand on his cheek, a small grin on his face. "Yeah, what are you doing hanging out with those trouble makers?"

Tina giggled. "No choice. They're my stepbrothers."

"Step brothers?" Jacob's brow furrowed. "I never saw you around the rez."

The pursed her pouty lips. "It's not like you know everybody in the rez, Jake."

Bella stifled a scoff when she saw Jacob hid a small smile.

"I know that David hasn't remarried."

"No, but their mother did. She married my dad."

Jacob sidled a look at the teen. "And you get them as brothers by marriage. Poor you."

Tina scowled at him. "They're not that bad. They're fun."

Jacob merely mm'd.

"They're actually going to pick me up today, I'm gonna stay in the rez for the weekend, they promised to take me to the rez bazaar. They say it's kind of cool."

Jacob's face was sardonic. "Really?"

Tina's brow furrowed at his reaction. "Isn't it?"

Jacob smiled. "No, the bazaar is great. Lots of stuff happening. It's one of our biggest events. It's just that your brothers haven't done a thing to help."

Tina gave him a cheeky grin. "And aren't you glad they haven't?"

His warm, even chuckle drove needles into Bella's heart. When the bell chimed and two boys came in, hunching over the cold, Bella swore it was a conspiracy.

Matthew's black eyes inched toward Bella and grinned a mile wide. "Is that peach pie I smell?"

Bella sighed and gave up her half-eaten pie to keep the peace. Gabriel loitered to the table and blinked identical eyes and grin an identical grin as his brother.

"There's more in the kitchen." She shook her head as the twins stumbled to the kitchen. They've been a constant infectious pain but she'd come to look at them as her connection to the reservation, some could say, to Jacob. She'd hear glimpses of Jacob and Sam and the other pack members in their conversation that she encouraged their visits.

"Ah, Bella, my love. When are you going to marry me and cook me delicious stuff everyday for the rest of our lives?" Gabriel mumbled over his full mouth as he walked toward her, an impish look in his eyes. Bella winced inwardly at the flirtatious tone in his voice and tried very, very hard not to look when Jacob stood slowly from his perch behind the counter that hid him from sight. Matthew, who'd just walked out of the kitchen, did catch sight of him and screeched to a stop behind his brother who remained oblivious of the tall, shadow that towered over them all. Tina—still on the counter—lifted both eyebrows at Matthew's reaction—mouth open, eyes twitching wildly and back military straight—while Brian and Misha kicked each other under the table.

Lulu however, merely leaned back and smirked.

Swallowing hard when Jacob spared him a glance while he wiped his big, strong hands on a cloth, Matthew inched toward his brother. "Gabe."

Gabriel shrugged his brother's hand off as he grinned into Bella's eyes. "Wait for your turn, Matt. Come on, Bella. Can you think of anyone worth cooking for than me…"

Matthew's hand smacked his brother's back, whispering from the corner of his mouth. "Jacob."

"Jacob?" Gabriel asked, his brow furrowed, wondering what his brother was getting at. "Well, yeah. Jacob is big and cool but…"

Not waiting for his twin to incriminate them much further, Matthew pulled his brother around where he came face to face—well, more like face to chest—with Jacob.

"_Jacob_." Gabriel squeaked out, nearly dropping his plate if Matthew hadn't anticipated his reaction. "Jacob. Hey. You're here."

Matthew propped his plates along with his brother at the table was at, then shuffled near his brother, both of them looking like kids caught while doing something wrong by an authority figure.

Bella figured that if she was caught sneaking out of the house by Charlie when she was not suppose to, she would probably look like that too. Though it was just so odd to think of Jacob as an authority figure since he was more likely to break the rules than following it but looking at him stand before the two teenage boys, he did look like an authoritative figure, especially with his height and built, the way he towered over them, the way his face settled into calm and forceful lines.

"It's late boys."

"We know." Matthew started to argue but quailed under the weight of his stare. "We were just going to pick up Tina then come back home."

"Is that why you snuck out?"

"Yeah." Gabriel mumbled and shuffled his feet when Jacob stared him down.

"The mouth freshener is a good idea, but you still stink."

Bella saw that she wasn't the only one that was confused on why Jacob thought it was important to grill the boys over their hygiene but by the way Matthew and Gabriel exchanged guilty glances and the way Jacob's dark eyes focused intensely on their faces, she got the impression that the problem was something bigger.

"I don't care if you two have a death wish but leave your sister out of it."

Tina's eyes widened while Matthew and Gabriel hunched over. "It was only two beers."

"I don't care." Jacob snapped, the sharp edges in his voice made the two boys shrunk even further. "The fact that you tried—an asinine attempt but still an attempt—to hide it means that you know that it's wrong. The fact that you want to drag your sister into this makes me believe you guys are even more of an idiot."

"Matt, Gabe. You guys are drunk?" Tina slid down the counter. "You know what I think about drinking and driving."

"No, we're not. We just—" Gabriel fell quiet when Jacob held up a hand, palms up. "Aw, _Jake_."

"Give it to me."

Gabriel handed his car keys over to Jacob with a silent 'aw, _man_'.

"I'll drive you home, all three of you."

"But." Matthew started but capitulated at Jacob's dark stare. "All right."

"And you're going to help out with the bazaar cleaning crew as punishment."

Gabriel pursed his lips but nodded, as did his twin. Bella—knowing them as she did—was sure that they were already hatching up a plan to get out of it and from the look on Jacob's face, he also realized it. "Your parents are going to know about this."

Matthew and Gabriel's face was the very picture of pained betrayal. "Jake."

"_But_, they might not take your car if they see both of you helping out with the cleaning."

Bella hid a smile when Matthew and Gabriel—knowing they were outmaneuvered—sighed. "Alright."

"Now sit down, both of you. Eat your pie while I get ready." He caught my eye as they boys shuffled to seats and scarf down their huge slices, ignoring Tina who scowled down at them. "You don't mind if I keep my bike out front, do you? I'll pick it up tomorrow."

"No, it's no problem."

He looked around, as if gathering his thoughts. She saw him winced as if he just realized where he was and who he was with but he returned his eyes to her. "Is there a place where I can wash up?"

Bella stood, pushing her hair from her face. "Ah, yeah. The kitchen—"

"Bella." Tina pouted. "I just scrubbed and washed those."

Lulu stretched in a nonchalant manner. "It probably better if he uses your bathroom, hun."

Bella froze, she noticed that so did Jacob and they exchanged awkward glances. "Sure. Up here."

Bella stepped toward the back rooms where the stairs toward her floor was and Jacob followed her with silent steps.

It didn't take long for Lulu, Tina, Brian and Misha to crowd the boys.

Tina grinned at her two step brothers who sullenly look back at her.

"Why didn't you tell us that Jacob is here?"

She shrugged. "How should I know that both of you are his bitches."

The boy's eyes snapped back towards the back room as if trying to see if Jacob was there. "Don't _talk_ like that, _sheesh_."

Misha frowned. "I've never seen you guys so…repentant."

"Yeah, you hardly followed mom's orders."

Gabriel hissed at his step sister. "It's _different,_ all right? Didn't I tell you about Billy Black?"

"Yeah, don't piss him off." Tina answered than add as an afterthought. "And he's sort of the chief."

"Well," Matthew continued. "Jacob is his son."

"Ah." Brian nodded sagely.

Misha however frowned. "So? It's not like he's next to be chief. Right?"

Gabriel scowled at her. "Might as well be but it's not only that. He also runs with Sam."

"Who's Sam?"

"He's like an unofficial elder, the council listens to them. They're like the next gen of the tribal council."

Tina and Misha and Lulu and Brian made an 'ooh' sound.

"Why is he here, anyway?" Gabriel pouted.

Tina grinned and leaned closer to her brothers. "It seems that Bella and Jacob has a history."

Matthew, who've been quiet suddenly straightened, seeming to connect the dots. "Well, yeah. Bella is Charlie's daughter, of course she knows Jacob. Billy is Charlie's best friend. They hang out a lot." He slapped his brother at the back of his head, ignoring his brother's scowled. "And didn't mom talked about something about Jacob who is still hung up on Charlie's girl who's gotten herself hitched in an insanely young age?"

"Oh, yeah." Gabriel frowned. "But wait, Charlie only has one daughter. Bella."

Lulu, Brian, Tina and Misha gawked. "Bella's _married_?"


	5. Familiar Strangers

**05. familiar strangers**

"**B**ella's _married_?"

Bella tensed in the doorway, her stomach clutched at the flabbergasted question voiced by her friends and the sudden stillness of the boy—no—man behind her.

She squelched the sudden urge to—run? Turn back and explain? To whom exactly? To Jacob or her friends? Deny?—her mind was just too befuddled to decide, so she did what anyone would do in her situation; she ignored it and wished it would go away.

She led the way to a small door that hid the stairs that led to her rooms. The butterflies that fluttered a storm inside her stomach grew talons when the door got stuck, she had to fight with it for several embarrassing seconds before it admitted defeat.

She perked up her ears to listen in to what the café crowd was talking about, frowning as she took the steps, _what were they doing talking about me like that? If they want to talk about me without me knowing, shouldn't they have waited for me to be out of hearing first? Isn't that the proper etiquette for talking behind someone's back?_

She scowled at the dark narrow stairway and it wasn't until she walked midway the stairs that she realized that she hadn't heard a peep from the man that was supposed to be following her. For an insane moment an image of Jacob joining her gossiping crew, demanding to know the full story of what they were talking about flitted in her mind. She scoffed, no way Jacob would do that…right?

Pushing the thought away, Bella turned to see whether Jacob had followed her or not, but being Bella, she managed to bump against the nearest wall, tripped over her own two feet which of course sent her colliding to the opposite wall, her tangled feet slipping off the edge of the stairs and sent her tilting forward…

"What's that?" Matt paused in his chewing to listen at the hard, slamming sounds that came from the back room.

The others stopped talking and tilted their heads to listen. After a few bumps came and went than all they heard was silence, Lulu waved a dismissive hand. "Probably Bella tripping over something or other."

Gabriel frowned. "Shouldn't we go check up on her?"

Tina smiled. "From the way Jacob's been watching her, she'll be fine."

Misha—the resident lech—leered. "She'll be more than fine if he's the one she's tripping over."

Giggles burst over coffee and peach pie.

Bella _was _fine, physically at least, emotionally she was a wreck. Embarrassment and frustration were only a few among the emotions that turned her stomach as she found herself pressed against Jacob's wide and muscular chest. In panic—desperate in her attempts to find something to hold on too—she slammed against Jacob's hard body, her left cheek smothered against the front of his T-shirt when he easily caught her before she plunged to her death—well, all right maybe not to her death—broken bones, maybe. A concussion, definitely.

She could hear the strong, rhythm of his heart—was it just her or did Jacob's heart start to pick up its pace?

"Are you okay?" The vibrations of his voice spread along his chest and tickled her face that was pressed against it, the sheer, scalding heat of him ran along the length of her arms that clutched at his waist like a lifeline. She was surprised that her legs hadn't twined themselves around his and with the image of her slammed against walls as she fell down the stairs like those little iron balls in a pin ball machine, she almost did.

"Bella?" She felt his breath wisped the top of her head, the edges of his hair flared against her temples when he tried to see her face, his muscles at his waist shifted under her hands.

The full weight of the realization that _yes,_ _he is really here_, struck her—like lightning streaking along her spine—it jolted her so hard that Jacob's hands went around her without him really realizing it.

For a heartbeat, they were Jacob and Bella as they were again; when one is hurt, the other will try to heal it.

The blazing heat, the feel of his arms around her was so very familiar that Bella felt all the days where she spent her time—whenever she had time to spend—missing him rushed through her and it was so very tempting—especially when she felt him pull away and _shame_ on her for even _thinking_ it—to fake some sort of injury, God knows she's been hurt often enough that she could act believably like she was in pain, but her mind cleared right away, a hand on her face to cover the blush on her cheeks. "Yeah, yeah. I'm OK. Thanks."

She felt his palms—hard and rough—slid along her upper arms to stop above her elbows, pushing her away while steadying her on her feet, the movement so deliberate and final it made her insides twist. His face inscrutable, he took a step back and shoved his hands into his front pocket, his dark eyes meeting Bella's in the light that leeched over the walls. Something passed through their eyes and it hovered and filled the space between them, clinging to her skin like spider webs; frail, delicate, one they could escape from with the slightest pull of their bodies.

"You should have a light here, and railings to hold on to."

Bella blinked, breathed and turned away. "Sure, sure."

She looked back in question when Jacob's step faltered.

Suddenly, she had the weird sensation that the stairs—with Jacob at her back—had lengthened while she wasn't looking. She almost sighed in relief when she touched the door that opened to her rooms.

The butterflies in her stomach flapped tremulous wings when she saw him frown at her door.

"What?"

"Do you have something against locked doors?"

The nature of his question was so unexpected that she merely stared at him. "Um, I'm always here anyway so I don't see the point. I only lock the doors when we're closed."

He touched the door, gave the knob a few turns and scoffed. "You can hardly call this a lock."

Annoyance flickered in Bella's eyes. "Sorry, we ran out of dead bolts."

"At the very least." He turned the knob again before closing the door with a soft snick, muffling the sound of laughter from downstairs. She wondered why the sound was so ominous to her ears.

She walked into the dark of her room, squinting, groping along her walls and flicked on the light, seconds passed and nothing happened. So, she flicked the light switch again. Darkness still reigned.

Aggravated, she flicked the switch a few times again until she heard Jacob cough—to hide a laugh, maybe. "I think it's dead, Bells."

"I _know_ that." She snapped while she glared at the light switch.

"Do you have a spare?"

"Yeah, it's—ow." Tears crept out of her eyes when she stubbed her toes on a nearby chair. She heard him sigh. "Tell me where it is and I'll get it."

"I can get it."

"Don't be stubborn. Where is it?"

"Left closet above the kitchen sink."

"Stay there before you break something."

She heard him move—unhindered by any furniture, maybe they leaped out of his way for fear of destruction—and followed the sound of him ruffling through her closets.

She stood in the darkened silence for a few seconds, her fingers twitching at the edges of her T-shirt, wondering what he was doing. "Jake?"

And then there was light.

Bella blinked against the bright light that showered her modest rooms and found herself staring at Jacob's T shirt clad chest, his hands just coming down from screwing on the light bulb—he didn't even need a chair, the ceiling was that low—and they brushed her shoulders as they returned to his sides. Bella's breath hitched at her throat, before she made herself release it, her feet stepping back from him on their own. "Thanks." She made vague gesture with her hands to her right. "The bathroom is over here."

She walked halfway across the living room and realized that she was bringing him into her bedroom—her footsteps hesitated but calling herself a fool, she persevered, even managed to spare him a smile. Not that he smiled back, he merely stared at her like he had no idea who she was.

Hurt evolved into anger and she stomped across her bedroom floor and flung open the door to the bathroom, glaring at him as she pointed. "Here's the bathroom. There's soap on the counter. Help yourself."

She couldn't quite make the several expressions that passed over Jacob's handsome face—surprise, embarrassment that was quickly replaced by humor—before he opened his mouth to say, "My."

She frowned at him then turned her eyes to where he was staring…and tried not to pass out from sheer I-hope-a-hole-would-appear-and-swallow-me-now embarrassment.

There, hanging at the length of the shower pole was a startling array of her drying underwear; dangling here and there in a shower of lace and delicate colors for all the world—well, Jacob—to see.


	6. Forgiveness

**6. forgiveness**

**J**acob had never seen Bella move so fast, not even when she had salivating vampires at her heels. She pounced, swiped, pulled, dragged all the incriminating evidence—her laundry—and whipped out a towel to cover everything she had in her arms. Red-faced, she turned toward him and marched out of the bathroom so she could dump the armful inside a closet. It was a miracle that she didn't trip over, say, the air between her legs and end up throwing the whole thing on his head.

"Sorry." She mumbled, determinedly not looking at him as she closed her closet. He knew she was mortified straight to her bones; the red flush on her face was painful evidence.

He struggled not to smile. That would defeat the whole purpose.

"No big deal." He shrugged, casual-like. "It's not like I've never seen any."

"Oh?" She turned her head away, but he saw it, saw the sarcastic twist of her expression and something like…jealousy.

"I _do_ have two sisters." His heart lightened its load when her brown eyes sneaked a glance at him, an embarrassed, guilty look in them before she mumbled something like, "I know that."

Satisfied with her reaction, he mm-d his way into the bathroom, leaving her standing in the middle of the living room.

The place was spacious and uncontained, no walls to separate one room from another, airy, with warm colors – shades of greens, browns and sky blue. _She could do a lot worse_, he thought, but narrowed his eyes when the faucet flopped dangerous in his hands, _but she definitely could do better_.

He'd seen all there was to the place, eyeing it covertly while he walked around, and discovered that it was a bit run down, especially her own rooms. His mind pondered over the doors that parted the working area to her rooms and he started to devise a plan to get her to get a more secure lock.

He grinned at his reflection in the sink mirror as he remembered her bone-deep embarrassment when she realized her bras were hanging all over the place and chuckled deeply, then, as if he remembered that he was mad at her, he sighed.

While he was here, he might as well wash his face to clear his thoughts. The cold water was fresh against his skin. He shook his hands and winced inwardly as if he could hear his mother's voice nagging him to wipe his hands…and not on his pants. He fingered a towel hanging from the shower pole, but he just knew, knew that if he used it, her scent would cling to him for the whole night through, well into his dreams.

Not that he could avoid dreaming about her.

He remembered how she felt in his arms, the shape of her body seared into his skin like a brand. There was no explaining the emotions that rioted in his heart at the feel of her rapid heartbeat against his chest, and he had to admit that his anger had softened somewhat at the feel of her.

She was here. Alive. Living her life. Happy.

It was all that he'd ever wanted for her.

She didn't have to be with him—his heart twisted painfully at the thought—she only had to live. And she _was_ living.

The smile that was reflected on the mirror was whole, wide and embarrassingly grateful. If Jacob saw it, he might be tempted to go into the nearest bar and pick a fight just to retrieve his man card, but Jacob was too busy looking at his damp hands.

After a second of weighing the pros and cons, he wiped them on his jeans.

The first thing he saw when he came out of the bathroom was Bella, trying to blow the hair that had managed to escape her hairclip away from her face. When that didn't work, she tried swiping it away with her upper arms, her hands busy preparing some kind of food.

"Here." Jacob felt her jerk when he touched the side of her face with his hand, her back bumped against his front.

He towered over her, she was just so little, his hands gentle. She flinched when a drop of water dripped from his arm to land on her shoulder, he wiped it away with a mumbled apology, the tip of his fingers grazing the curve of her neck, and she shivered as if she was cold.

She wasn't.

He indulged himself in her scent before stepping back.

"Thanks." She muttered, without looking at him. "I'm fixing something for Charlie, can you wait a little?"

"Sure." Just to see if he could, Jacob crossed the kitchen and leaned against opposite counter, his eyes watching her back as she moved along the kitchen counter. His eyes sighted a full coffee pot, and he poured himself a cup.

The coffee went cold in his hands as he found himself staring at her, just staring without thinking of anything in particular, watching the intriguing sway of her waist-length hair, the wave of her hands as she filled Tupperware after Tupperware, the slow lift of her body as she stood on tiptoe to reach for something, the flash of pale skin as her sweater pulled up when she stretched and he felt his body pulse with awareness.

It was ridiculous, ridiculous the way his body—and his heart—responded to her after all these years. The inevitable pull he felt every time she was near. He couldn't kid himself, things were strained and parts of it were his doing, but even though he was angry with her, the sense of comfort, of connection, the simple knowing between them was still there, just as it had been years ago.

The silence between them was tense, and it didn't help that they hadn't talked things out. They used to have no secrets between them, nothing was too hurtful or taboo. One would ask a question and the other—no matter how personal, how intrusive—the other would answer. It was their way, and he missed it. He missed having her beside him, missed the feeling that it was natural for her to be with him.

He admitted—he might as well, since there was no denying it now—he still loved her, and by the way she reacted to him on the narrow stairs, and the way she peeked over her shoulder every few minutes as if to make sure he was still there, she felt the same…or at the very least, felt _something_. What they had was just too strong for it to disappear completely.

But…one thing at a time.

Jacob caught her eyes when she peeked over her shoulder to where he was standing, quite at home.

"The faucet in the bathroom sink is about to fall off."

She winced. "I know. I forgot to tell you to use the shower. Did it?"

He made a sound in his throat, his attention was caught by the spice rack above her head. "No. And that shelf is about to drop."

"What?" She blinked, distress scattering across her face as she looked up, down, sideways. "Which one?"

He crossed the space between them, sat the coffee mug on the kitchenette counter beside her and touched the spice shelf over the oven.

"That doesn't look so bad."

He could tell she was trying not to pout when he threw her a disbelieving glance.

"_Wha__t_? I'm putting all of my money into the downstairs area. So what if my apartment is a little…uncomfortable?"

Jacob smiled, his hands testing the strength and the stability of the rack. "I didn't say anything."

"You were thinking it."

"Believe me, Bells." He chuckled low in his throat, his eyes still focused on the shelf. "You have no idea what I'm thinking."

She frowned, trying to figure out what he meant, but got sidetracked when she saw what he was doing.

He straightened the rack and jiggled it in place. It was steady enough. "There, that should hold it up for now."

She gawked at him. "Did you just push a nail through my wall with your thumb?"

He patted his hands, keeping his eyes on the colorful spices that she put in small bottles. He picked one up and sniffed through the opening. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She narrowed her eyes at his face. "Does that actually work? Shrugging away other people's suspicion by claiming you have no idea what they're talking about?"

He cocked his head to the right, his hair brushing against his face as he bumped a hip against the counter she was working on. The closeness of their hands on the counter wasn't done intentionally. Really. "People see what they want to see, you of all people should know that."

"I guess." She mumbled, her eyes dropping to her cheese-smeared hands before she sidled to the kitchen sink to wash her hands.

"Your hair is so long now." He commented, his hands reached from where he stood to play with the edges of her hair.

Testing the waters.

She laughed, a hint of nerves in the sound. "No time to get it cut. As you've noticed, I've gotten pretty busy."

"Too busy to give me a call?"

He felt her body stiffen, and he let go of his hold on her hair when she lifted her eyes to meet his. The expression on her face; pain, regret, nerves that twined with something that he couldn't understand, soothed his heart, his pride, the anger, the bitterness and stirred the protector inside him.

Love, made him angry and bitter, but it was also love that made him understand.

She opened her lips to say something, but sighed when he touched her cheek and couldn't help but turn her face to the heat of his palm. His fingertips grazed her cheekbone, the curve of her cheek, it glided along her jaw line to cruise softly but deliberately on to the curve of her bottom lip. The air simply trembled when her warm breath touched his fingers. Her eyes, which were earlier closed, opened. Her eyelashes fluttered when Jacob pressed a thumb on her chin. He saw tears gathered at the corners of her brown eyes and felt his heart clutch.

"Jacob, I…"

Slowly and softly, he pressed his lips to hers; the touch as chaste, as loving as the touch of his fingers. "It's okay, Bells." He whispered against her lips. "The important thing is that you're here." Jacob kissed her eyelids, tasted the single tear that spilled over. "I'm so happy that you're here."

Their eyes met and a history of conversation and words passed from one to another.

A sob tore out her throat as she threw her arms around him, wrapping herself around him, and he lifted her up in his arms, carried her to a sofa and sat her in his lap, all without dislodging her from his arms. Jacob felt her tears pour out of her in great wrenching sobs into the curve of his neck, so powerful that it shook her little body. She shuddered against him, and he held her and waited, after he realized that the tears were tears of tension and…relief.

_Forgiveness is a funny thing_, he thought while he rubbed comforting circles on Bella's back. The minute he thought about forgiving her, he realized that he already had. But forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, and he knew that this was far from over. She still had some explaining to do. _It was the principle of the thing, _he thought and propped his chin on the top of her head.


	7. Familair Landscapes

**7. familiar landscapes**

**A**t the redness on her eyelids and the warmth on her face, Bella blinked her eyes open and stretched luxuriously, a smile blooming on her face at the bright golden light that spilled into her room from the three wide windows that almost took up the entire east wall. It had been a while since she'd had such a good, restful sleep, where she actually slept the whole night through. It used to be vampires and mythical creatures that haunted her dreams. Now it was a mortgage and bills.

All very grown-up, she supposed.

Something niggled at the back of her mind, but she ignored it. She didn't want to ruin the mood. She could hear the sound of birds laced with the hum of traffic. From the cheerful swing music pounding from the speakers downstairs, she knew Lulu was already in, working her magic. She was so very tempted, too much so, to flop on her side and burrow into the warm cocoon of her blanket, but being the irrational creature she was, it was the very same feeling that made her sit up and drop her bare feet onto the cold morning floor. Wincing—hopping from one foot to the other—she made her way to the kitchenette, where she knew a pot of coffee was ready for her consumption. The niggling sensation persisted so strongly that she was forced to stare at her room with bleary eyes, trying to figure out what it was that she'd forgotten. Her eyes focused on the steaming coffee pot and, inhaling the rich aroma of the dark liquid, she decided whatever it was, she'd deal with it.

Later.

Possibly after a shower.

Maybe even after a muffin.

Lifting her cup of coffee with rapturous concentration up to her mouth, she sucked in a breath when last night crashed into her languid brain. "Jake!" She exclaimed, in a sudden fit of realization, to no one in particular.

"You called?"

She splashed hot coffee on her hand when she turned swiftly toward the low, husky voice and saw the face that came with it as Jacob leant comfortably on the doorway to her bathroom. "Jake!"

A grin lifted his cheeks in a smile she had long ago thought of as one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen—and she'd seen more than her share of beauty. "Yes, Bells. That's my name."

She blinked, thinking that this was probably some kind of twisted version of her usually vague but vivid dreams. She knew, _knew_ that it was too good to be true to wake up feeling so good. "Why? What?" She frowned, trying to put together all of her scattered thoughts, repeating the happenings of last night once again—slower this time—inside her mind. "I fell asleep."

"Yep." He nodded, and it was only when he lifted it to his lips that she saw that he was also holding a mug. She suspected strongly that it was her coffee he was drinking. Embarrassment warred with confusion and…guilt. "I'm sorry."

His dark eyes were bland on her face. "For what exactly?"

Bella winced inwardly, sensing just how loaded that simple question was. She couldn't help but shuffle her feet. Besides, her toes were getting cold. "For crying. For falling asleep on you—literally." She hesitated and lifted a hand to brush her hair. "For not calling." Bella's eyes watched Jacob's face for any kind of movement, any sign of…whatever. Sunlight slid across the floor and climbed up the walls, tinting his reddish skin bronze. It was hard for her to keep looking when the warm rays hit his face, strengthening the power of his dark eyes, but she kept her gaze on him.

Her heart was beating a bruise on her ribs.

Finally,_ finally_, he shrugged. "Yeah, OK."

She was taken aback by how easy his answer was that it didn't give her the expected overwhelming relief. Instead, suspicion smeared doubt across her face. But then again, she couldn't keep the suspicion up when her eyes landed on his bright smile.

A thought passed through her chaotic mind and rose above all others. "Did you stay over?"

He shook his head, his shoulder-length hair whispering against his cheeks "No, after I put you to bed, I went home. I had to drive Matt, Gabe and Tina, remember?"

"Oh yeah." Her wrinkled brows straightened, but once again, another thought snapped to her attention. A rather embarrassing thought that made her whip her head down on herself—taking in the oversized green T-shirt she usually wore in lieu of jammies—and look back at him. "Did you…?"

Jacob cocked an eyebrow, still casually leaning on the doorframe, the cup of coffee in his right hand. From his expression and the glint in his eyes, she knew that he wouldn't make it easy for her. She watched the slow grin that brightened his dark eyes with a sinking heart. "Did I…what?" He asked, the tone of his voice silky smooth and riddled with mischief.

It was the grin that did it.

She snorted. "You didn't."

The grin was replaced by a smirk. "Lulu came up to check on us and saw you sprawled all over my lap. She took pity on me and wrestled you away. You put up a fight too."

She fought the blush that crept to her cheeks, but, as always, lost. "I didn't."

"You did. You also drooled." She glared at the pitying look he sent her. "And snored."

"Shut up. I do _not _snore." She felt her stomach lurch in embarrassment. _Surely, Edward_—her stomach lurched again—_would've mentioned it if I did. Right? I mean, he would know._

She propped her cup of coffee on the kitchen counter, then realized what it was that bothered her. When she turned toward him, he already had his back to her. "How did you get in?"

"Lulu let me in. She's already downstairs." His voice echoed, telling her he was in the bathroom.

"I know." Bella muttered, distracted with her spice rack. _Is it just me, or is that spice rack straighter?_ _Wait,_ Bella straightened, _what is he doing in my bathroom?_

It was so familiar—having Jacob around her—but also so strange—having Jacob around her outside of Forks—that her brain just couldn't sort things out. It kept going back and forth between the past—how they were with each other then—and the present—awkward silence, implied questions, guilt, guilt, guilt. _Did Jacob really mean what he said?_ _That he'd forgiven me for not telling him where I was all these years? Why? Because I _cried_? Was it really that easy?_ Somehow, she doubted it.

"Jake? What are you doing in the bathroom?"

"Normally," His voice echoed back to her. "I would give you a big fat duh and tell you to mind your own business, but since, this _is_ your bathroom…" His brown hand poked out of the doorway, waving a wrench at her. "I'm fixing the faucet."

She frowned—guilt pressing her like a giant hand—and walked to the bathroom. "Did you fix the spice rack too?"

"Yeah." She heard him chuckle. "You must have been really out of it if you didn't hear me banging away at it."

She saw him hunkered over the sink, his left hand on the wobbling faucet, twisting away with his other hand that held the wrench. "Jacob. No."

He didn't even look at her. "No, what?"

"Leave it alone. Don't fix it."

"Why not? I'm already halfway done."

"You can't keep fixing things for me." She didn't mean to sound so morose, so solemn.

_Are you crazy?_ A voice inside her screamed out, _He's willing to let it go, he's willing to go on as things were. Why are you reminding him? _She watched his back straighten. _We don't know that. Besides, we _should_ remind him. It's the right thing to do._

Bella's heart twisted in her chest when his hands stopped moving. She felt her lungs shrivel when he turned toward her, but his face was still easy, still casual.

"Bella, I'm already halfway done. The sooner I'm done, the sooner you can take a shower."

Fear and guilt were defeated by a flash of self-consciousness. "Are you implying that I smell?"

The grin that flashed across his face was the grin that she missed, but somehow, she knew it wasn't the same. "I'm just saying, aren't you late for work?"

She crossed her arms in front of her chest, letting Jacob know, without words, that she was not going to ease off the argument. "On Saturdays and Sundays I can get in late and get out early if I want."

She saw something like interest run over his face before he managed to tamp it down. He sighed loudly before directing an aggravated look at her. "You leave me no choice."

Wariness fluttered inside her and pain scrabbled against the walls of her chest. "What do you mean?"

But Jacob didn't answer, without taking his eyes off of her, he pulled her towel from the shower curtain pole, then holding it by its ends, started to swing his left hand so that the towel twisted in the middle in the classic locker-room towel-whipping method.

She glared at him. "You _wouldn't_."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Wouldn't I?"

Their eyes met in a battle of wills. _Jacob couldn't possibly…right?_ She sniffed, her nose in the air. "Fine."

She huffed when he put a hand against the small of her back and pushed her out of the way. "Wait." She stuck her head in before Jacob could close the door.

"Bells, I'm warning you—"

Bella couldn't help the laughter that trickled up her throat when she saw him twist the towel again. "No, I mean, can you run the shower for me? The hot water needs time to…"

"Sure, sure." He pressed a hand on the door. "Now go away. Make me a sandwich or something."

She pouted at the closed door then stuck her ear on it, finally walking away when she heard the rushing sound of water.

"Bells, you can't call this stingy trickle of water a shower." She heard him yell from inside the bathroom. "How can you wash your hair in that? _I _can't wash my hair in that."

"It's fine, Jacob." She yelled back at him, a smile on his her face when she could practically see his disgusted expression. "Don't even _think_ of touching it. I want my shower."

"Sure, sure."

It was impossible for her not to feel comfortable around him. They had too much history, went through too many things, felt too strongly for each other to ever be strangers. But that also made things much more complicated. It was too easy to fall into the familiar pattern—and _how_ she wanted to—but it's different now. She knew she owed him too much to let things just go on as if nothing had happened. He deserved an explanation from her. She needed him to understand, _wanted_ him to understand. She'd jump through whatever hoops he wanted her to jump through and smile as she did so if she had too. _I will answer his questions_, she closed her eyes as a selfish part of her won, when_ he asks,_ _no matter how painful it is._

It was the very same guilt that prompted her to ask again. "Jake, I'm serious, you know. You don't need to fix it. And I'm serious about the payment."

"Bells, you know how you are with the cleaning?"

She blinked, her hands pausing in the middle of wiping off the coffee stains on the kitchen counter, and smiled sheepishly at her reflection on the fridge. "Yeah."

"That is how _I _am with the fixing." He replied distractedly. "There, all done."

She blinked when he lifted a hand, palm up. His hopeful eyes turned—her heart plunged to her stomach—disappointed when she merely stood and stared uncomprehendingly at him.

"Where's my sandwich, Bells?"

She opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "You were serious?"

"Hell yeah, I was serious. I'm starving. I came here without breakfast, you know." The same hand patted his flat stomach before rubbing it in slow circles.

She remembered how his hand felt on her back, how she felt when she was surrounded by him, and felt ridiculously miserable because she let him down—again—even though it was only because of a sandwich. "I'm sorry." She said meekly, then suggested helpfully. "You can ask Lulu to make you one while I shower."

"Sweet." He threw her a smile before he walked out of her apartment door, leaving her staring at him with bemusement…and guilt.

*********

Jacob lifted an eyebrow when Lulu kept staring at him. He wiped a hand on his chin and swallowed. "What? Do I have something on my face?"

"Yes." Lulu answered. "A sneaky smile."

Jacob blinked dark eyes at her, trying to look as innocent as possible when you're a 6'7" werewolf. "What sneaky smile?"

"The one that's plastered on your face."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh-huh." Lulu topped his orange juice. "So, you guys go way back, huh?"

Jacob chewed, his eyes on the older woman's pretty face trying to gauge what she knew from Matt and Gabe. Since he knew Matt and Gabe didn't know much, she probably knew less. "Yeah."

"You're not going to tell me anything, are you?"

Jacob smiled. "No."

"Even if I agree to answer any of your questions about Bella?"

His smiled widened and took another bite.

Lulu nodded, a satisfied smile on her face. Apparently she approved of him. "Because you want Bella to tell you herself."

"Well, that and the fact that what I _need_ to know, I _already_ know." He licked his fingers before meeting Lulu's gaze head on. The smile on Lulu's face grew to a grin and she burst out a gleeful, rollicking laugh. "Oh, you're a wily one."

He shrugged, but smiled when she gave his shoulder a good-natured bump. She shook her head at him. "Are you going to be trouble, Jacob Black?"

"Maybe." He gulped down his glass of orange juice and looked over his shoulder as Bella wandered in, fresh from a shower.

Lulu snorted when she followed his eyes. "I bet you will be."

*********

Bella looked up at the sound of bells at the front entrance, her smile trailing away to confusion when she saw Gabe, Matt and Tina enter. "What are you guys doing here?"

Gabe filched the apple muffin Bella had been snacking on. "We drove Jacob over here to get his bike, we also had to get some supplies for the bazaar."

"Where is he?" Matt asked, taking the apple muffin from his brother's hand. Tina, however, being a girl and disinclined to share her meal, took the straighter path and walked toward the kitchen, hollering Lulu's name. "Hey, Jake." She waved as she passed him. Jacob had his battered leather jacket in one hand, three muffins in the other. Bella shook her head. "Are you boys always hungry?"

Jacob merely grinned and passed the two younger boys the muffins. "You can't say I didn't work for it."

She scowled. "Jake, I'm serious, if you keep fixing stuff around here, we need to figure out some kind of payment plan."

He shrugged into his leather jacket. "The way I think of it, the free food is more than enough."

"Jake—"

"Bella—" He cut her off with the same whining tone.

"Jake." Tina came in carrying a box of goodies that had the young boys gravitating towards her like little planets to their sun. "You should ask her to come to the bazaar. I mean, today and tomorrow is her day off, she could spare the time."

Lulu followed her with a bigger box. "Yeah, I'll take care of the store. With Brian, Misha and Stephen coming in, you'll be covered."

Gabe and Matt grinned. "Yeah, Bella. Come with. It'll be awesome."

Bella spread her gaze at the faces that were aimed at her and felt slightly pressured. However, she noticed that someone hadn't said anything. Her eyes sought Jacob's.

He grinned. "It'll be awesome."

"Did you guys plan this?"

Tina smirked. "Come on, Bells. You need a day out. How long has it been since you just went out for something that was not work-related?"

She cringed at the look Jacob sent her. "I go out."

Tina and Lulu scoffed.

"Dad, will be there. He'll want to see you, and Charlie, too."

Bella struggled not to pout. "That's a low blow, Jake."

Jacob merely smiled. "Emily would like to see you, so will—you know—the _pack_."

Bella frowned at him and glanced nervously at Matt and Gabe, trying to search for any kind of clue that they knew about the werewolves. When her eyes returned to Jacob, he shook his head slightly. He leaned over the counter she was standing behind, using his dark eyes and that bright smile to his greatest advantage. She wondered whether he knew what it did to her. "Come on, Bells. You know you want too." He grinned slyly. "I brought an extra helmet."

The next thing she knew, she was wearing his leather jacket and soaring through the open morning road with her arms around the scalding heat of his waist.


	8. Issues

8. issues

Jacob always knew what he wanted. Always.

After all, knowing what you want is half the battle. It is from that point that you get to decide what method to apply in order to get it.

_Wily,_ he remembered Lulu called him. _Oh, she didn't know the half of it._

When Bella hovered beside him, he flashed a smile that seemed to ease her anxiety. Bella_ doesn't know the half of it._

Let's face it, when you're the youngest, the only boy with twins as sisters, especially loud, boisterous twins in a family that is dominated by females, you know how to bide your time and move fast – to either slide your foot in or blast the door off its hinges when opportunity comes a-knocking.

He placed a hand on the small of Bella's back, and she smiled as she looked up, grateful for the encouragement.

"Bella." Charlie's grin was a mile wide. It hesitated when his eyes landed on Jacob, who loomed over his daughter. Jacob nodded to him, and Charlie gave him a relieved smile over his daughter's shoulder; apparently worried about his share of hiding his daughter's whereabouts. "It's great that you're here." Charlie turned his back to her, looking over the loud crowds of people that rubbed up against each other. "Billy, look who's here."

Billy might be in a wheelchair, but people parted for him so he rolled easily to where they were standing; people did it out of respect, and because they knew he would not hesitate to ram their ankles to get where he wanted to go. Billy's ruthless streak was as famous as his fair mind and his creativity with wood.

Bella saw Jacob's bright, wide grin on Billy's face and felt her throat close. It was impossible not to smile at the apparent relief and warmth in Billy's face, and she knew it was because she was alive and human. Not only for his son, or even for herself, but for Charlie as well. It was because of that sole reason that Bella leaned down, hugged him and kissed his cheek. The surprise pleasure in Billy's dark eyes echoed in his son's, though both tried hard to hide it.

Bella smiled. "Thank you for taking care of Charlie while I was away, Billy." She elbowed her father, who grinned good-naturedly. "I hope he hasn't eaten you out of house and home."

Billy chuckled. "Not yet, but there were a few close calls."

Matt and Gabe, who had been standing on the sidelines with Tina, finally inched closer. "Bella brought goodies."

She didn't know why she was nervous, but suddenly she couldn't quite keep her hands still. "It's just something from the store, just some pastries and pies. My coming here was on such short notice that I didn't have time to prepare anything—"

"There's some of her peach pie, Dad." Jacob cut her off with a smirk, spearing a piece from an open box and putting it on a paper plate from the other box that Tina was holding up.

Bella blushed with satisfaction when Billy and Charlie dug into their slices of pie with gusto. Billy sighed after the first bite. "I've missed your cooking, Bella." Anxious to make things right with Billy – he was, after all, Jacob's father and Charlie's best friend – she looked at her father with hopeful eyes. "I'd like to stay the night, we could join Jacob and Billy for breakfast tomorrow. I'm sure I could cook something." She ignored Jacob's raised eyebrows, but Billy and Charlie nodded happily, enjoying their sugar rush.

"Why did you wrangle a breakfast invitation from my father?" Jacob asked when both Charlie and Billy left them to join the 'old crowd' as they called it. Bella brushed her hair from her face. "I did nothing of the sort."

Jacob gave her a bland look. "Are you trying to wheedle your way back into my father's affections with food?"

She grimaced, but from the grin on his face, Jacob didn't seem to mind. "Yes."

"Bribery." Jacob screwed up his face and wiped away an imaginary tear. "I'm so proud." Bella laughed and playfully shoved him away. Her heart warmed when he put a hand over her shoulder to guide her through the throng of people. The bazaar was big, bright and loud. Colors – red, orange, blue, green, yellow – were everywhere, displayed in beads, woodcarvings, cloths, artworks, even in food. The smell of spices, food, flowers and incense filled the air of the clearing they were in. The modern and traditional twined together in all aspects of the bazaar, right from the food to the music that blared out of the speakers and the languages that hummed from one group to another. Curious, Bella eyed every stand and marveled at woodcarvings, leather, skins, the intricate beadwork that hung from clothes, necklaces, bracelets. She stopped at one of those stands when one in particular caught her eye. It was a necklace made of a black braided threads and multicolored stones. It was the stones that caught her attention; the brownish red one that was set in the middle of a series of darkish brown beads. Before Jacob could pull her away from it – he was making noises about food – she planted her feet firmly on the ground. "Jake. Look at this."

Jacob sighed, gave the necklace she was pointing at a cursory glance and announced it "Pretty."

The old lady behind the stand sighed and sent a strained look at him. "I could never teach you to appreciate beauty, Jacob."

Jacob grinned. "I think I did a good enough job on my own."

The old lady lifted her brows and glanced to Bella, whose concentration was still on the necklace, and laughed. She leaned over her stand to talk to Bella. "You're Bella, Charlie's daughter, right? I'm Maia, I taught art in grade school. Other than carving, Jacob didn't do quite so well." She smiled. "Do you want to touch it, dear?"

Bella nodded, and Jacob smiled at the excited glow on her face. It was strange for her to be so excited about jewelry. His eyes dropped to the bracelet, _his_ bracelet, with its wolf and seashell carving, and he felt his stomach flutter at how it dangled from her wrist. He'd noticed it, of course, noticed how the diamond heart was no longer there, and noticed how often she played with it whenever she was deep in thought. Jacob blinked when she turned to him and raised the necklace to his face. "Look, Jake."

He nodded. "Hm. Pretty."

She rolled her eyes. "_Look_, the stone in the middle is the exact color of your fu—I mean skin." Her face was so twisted into the very picture of horror at her mistake that Jacob laughed. She held it up to his neck and beamed. "It looks good on you."

His dark eyes looked straight into hers. "Is this another bribe?"

The smile slid away from her face as her shoulders hunched. "No. I just—" She paused, her hair moved to cover her face, her fingers picking nervously at the necklace. "It reminded me of you, that's all."

_How can I be mad at her when she keeps being so cute?_ Jacob rolled his eyes when he noticed the wide grin on Maia's face. He sighed softly and cupped a hand under her chin, lifting up her face. "Hey, I didn't mean it that way."

Her face was still crumpled in miserable lines that only softened when he touched her cheek. He watched her smile at Maia as she paid her and walked toward him with nimble steps, well, at least as nimble as you could manage when you're as klutzy as she was. He blinked when she thrust out the necklace to him. "Here."

He frowned. "What?"

"For you."

He eyed the necklace in her hands. "You bought it for me?"

She nodded, carefully, not looking at his face. "I missed your birthday again."

"I missed yours." He pointed out.

She shuffled her feet. "Well, yeah, but you've already given me too much. I just—" She grimaced. "Ah, hell, Jake. You want it or not?"

He chuckled at the embarrassment on her face, caught her hand that was holding the necklace and waited until she looked at him. "Thank you, Bells."

Her lips curved with shy gratitude. "You're welcome."

He fingered the necklace that was still in her hands and leaned forward. "If you don't mind?"

His heart throbbed when her eyes brightened with pleasure. "You'll wear it?"

"You're wearing _my_ gift, it's only fair, right?"

Her eyes settled on his in acknowledgement that she knew that he noticed the bracelet. They laughed when she had to stand on her tiptoe to reach his neck. Her laughter thrummed over his chest, the scent of her hair whirled against his nose when she eased her arms around his neck. "I think I need a chair. Scratch that, a _ladder_."

He could hear her heartbeat, loud against his ears, taste the panic and awareness that she felt because of their close proximity, felt the heady, strong beat of it on his cheek that was pressed against the side of her neck. There will never be a sound as beautiful to him as the sound of her heart, beating. His smile widened as he felt her fingers fumble and twist when he _accidentally_ touched his smiling lips to her ear. He wasn't merely grandstanding when he told Lulu that he already knew what he needed to know. She was still attracted to him, that was pretty much obvious, and it wasn't his imagination that made him see the slow, unfurling affection that glowed in her eyes whenever they landed on him.

Jacob was sure, as he was years ago, that Bella Swan loved him, just as much as she had loved him before.

"There." She said with a relieved sigh that made Jacob want to laugh. Her eyes went to the necklace that hung around his neck, clashing with the moss green of his T-shirt, and back to his face. "The darker beads are the color of your eyes."

The look in her eyes and the blush that followed made Jacob think that she didn't mean to say it out loud. He would have teased her if he hadn't been suffering from a sudden attack of shyness as well. "Thanks, Bells."

The silence was suddenly painfully awkward so that Jacob stifled a relieved sigh when someone called out his name. When he realized exactly the identity of that person, he stifled a resigned curse.

Quil, Embry and Seth cantered toward them, big, wide smiles spread on each of their faces. Embry took a second to watch Jacob's face, but Seth and Quil ambled good-naturedly toward Bella.

"Hey, Bella." Seth grinned at her when Bella goggled at him. "Seth, is that _you_?"

Seth grinned proudly and looked down at her from his great height, which was all leg. It wasn't just his height, it was the width of his shoulders and the clear hard line of his jaw. Quil elbowed Seth away and held her hands. "Bella, the cookies you left at the front porch? Fantastic. Did you bring some?"

Bella smiled at Quil's disappointment when he saw that her hands were empty. "No, but I did bring some pastries and pies." She waved her hand at the crowds of people. "They're there somewhere with Gabe and Matt."

Quil didn't shift his eyes from her face. "Seth."

"On it." Seth closed his eyes and Bella watched Seth sniff the air with an amused grin on her face.

"Handy."

"So, Bella. Have you seen everything? You haven't? Well, we can't have that. So, here on our left…" Bella grinned when Quil put an arm across her shoulders, bumped against Jacob, who stood beside her, and proceeded to walk away with her in tow.

Bella knew it would be hard to meet all those familiar faces, especially the faces of the pack and it _was_ hard.

Terribly, horribly so.

Especially without Jacob by her side, since he was recruited by Sam for something. But now, right this minute, it was hard for her not to _laugh_, especially when her gaze met Quil's twinkling, impish dark eyes.

Embry groaned when her lips twitched. "No, do _not_ smile. Do not encourage him, Bella."

She met his eyes and struggled again to keep her lips steady. "Really, Quil?"

Quil proudly thrust out his muscular chest, making the words on his T-shirt – earlier on he wore a hoodie – even more eye-catching. "What? I think it's cool."

Seth grinned. "Me, too. I'm getting one."

Quil frowned at him. "I already made you one, stick with it. And why aren't you guys wearing yours?"

Embry moaned and shook his head. Bella couldn't help but drop her eyes to Quil's chest and once again read the inscription. There, written in red flaming colors on his black T-shirt, were the words HOT DOG.

When Quil smirked at her, she laughed. "You guys have similar T-shirts?"

Quil nodded. "Yeah. It's like a pack thing, you know. Personalized T-shirts."

"Personalized." She repeated, a smile on her face.

"Yeah, each one is different. Embry's is Sly Dog 'cause, well, you know, he's sly. He looks quiet Bella, but—"

"He's not?"

"No, he's not." Both he and Seth shook their heads while Embry merely smiled. Slyly.

"Seth, Colin and Brady's are Puppy Dog, because they're the youngest. Sam's is Black Dog, naturally."

"Naturally." Bella agreed with a false nonchalant air.

Seth's face twisted into a grin. "Leah's is the one that takes the cake."

"Why?" she asked, wondering why the boys were suddenly laughing. "What does she have?"

Quil grinned before announcing in an offhand but dramatic kind of way, "_Bitch_."

They laughed again when Bella's mouth dropped open. "You _didn't_. And nobody was hurt?"

Their faces wore identical smirks. "Actually, she liked it." Quil explained. "Laughed like a mad woman when I gave it to her. She's wearing it right now."

Bella let out a surprised, disbelieving laugh. "She's not."

Seth nodded. "She is. Mom asked her not to, but she wore it anyway."

She shook her head, laughing softly. "Wait, you missed Jacob. What's his?"

Their dark eyes exchanged meaningful looks. "Well, Jacob's is a done deal. Pretty much a no-brainer."

She cocked her head to the side. "What?"

Embry smiled softly. "Alpha Dog."

"Oh." She didn't know quite what to say, so she settled for repeating it again. "Oh."

Seth nodded. "Yeah, we were pretty surprised about it, since Jacob was against the whole alpha-hood thing, but…"

They shrugged in such perfect synchronization that Bella had one of those unsettling moments where she couldn't tell them apart. She wondered whether anybody else experienced the same difficulty as her.

"So, one day he just announced that he's alpha?"

Embry shook his head. "No, nothing like that. We were out phasing." He smiled. "There was a full moon, so we're out running and playing around, and then _wham_!"

Bella jumped on her seat when Embry's fist hit the table.

"Suddenly there was just this shift of power, everybody felt it, like something intangible passed through our bodies and when it was gone we just knew that Sam was no longer alpha."

Quil fingered his ball cap. "Later Jake said that it was the exact second he decided to take on more responsibility, in the tribe, in the pack."

"So, just like that?" Bella asked. "Because he decided to be alpha, he became alpha?"

Seth shrugged. "Nobody really knows how you become alpha, some say it's by bloodline, some say it's through will, but I think it's just like everything else that's connected with the wolf thing – you're either it or not."

"And Jake is, well, no matter if he's human or wolf..." Embry smiled and jerked his chin to where Jacob stood surrounded by people all vying for his attention. "He's alpha."

********

_I don't know anything about being alpha, but Jacob is surely a dog_, she thought, confused when a group of four girls accosted her by the candy cane stand. Bella didn't have a lot of female friends, actually she didn't have a lot of friends, period, and her survival instincts weren't as up-to-date as normal people, but she knew when a woman was out to get her.

_Especially_ when it was over a man.

Some instincts just don't disappear from lack of use.

Bella Swan, all-around danger magnet, eyed the brown-skinned, tall foursome and felt fear.

At first, when one of them, she assumed it was the queen bee—they were always the one to talk first, it was, like, a rule—said, 'So, _you're_ Bella Swan' Bella thought it was one of the downsides of being the sheriff's only daughter; everyone knows your name. Bella couldn't count how many people had asked her that from the first time she came to Forks. Of course, most of the time it was followed by 'Charlie's kid', but this didn't seem to be the case.

So, she answered the only way she knew how. "Yes."

She wished she were one of_ those_ girls; girls like Tina or Misha or even Lulu, who could probably stare them down and ask with a polite yet cutting disinterest 'And you are?' But she wasn't, so she merely stared at them mutely as they circled her like vultures going in for the kill. It wasn't until a smooth, low voice swept through the scene and made the four girls jerk their eyes off of her that she began to understand what this was all about. "Alright, girls, break it up."

Leah Clearwater was as exotic-looking as Bella remembered her, taller perhaps, her features more defined, her face more angular. Her hair was chin length, and it dropped to curve over her face in fine, straight layers. It accented the depth of her eyes, the sharpness of her cheekbones and chin.

She was no longer _only_ beautiful, but striking as in a-fist-to-your-face striking.

That eye-catching face was now stretched into a sharp smile that could bleed a rock. "No fair picking on a girl."

The queen bee glared, but its effect was ruined because she unconsciously took a step back. "This is none of your business, Leah."

"She's Jacob's. That makes her my business. Hounding the woman won't get you the man, Mira."

_Aha,_ Bella thought and almost said out loud. She didn't know what to feel about it, and she wasn't quite sure what 'it' was. The fact that she was wondering whether the girl had dated Jacob? Or the fact that Jacob seemed to have lost interest? Or the fact that there were girls that find Jacob interesting enough to fight over? She couldn't quite decide over the miasma of possibilities and rushing thoughts.

Mira's pretty face twisted with spite. "Well, _you_ would know, wouldn't you?"

Bella couldn't stop the surprised gasp that escaped her lips when she heard what the girl said. She watched Leah's face pale visibly and noticed her hands were starting to tremble. From her periphery vision, she saw Seth walking up to them, his face tense, but Bella's whole attention was on Leah; her anger, her pain. Bella could tolerate a lot of things, but one thing she couldn't tolerate is a person who kicks another person who is already down. She might not be friends with Leah, they might _never_ be friends, and adding to that, she knew for a fact that the other girl, albeit well deserved, hated her guts, but Bella understood where she came from. She knew about a pain so deep that it changed you into someone that you couldn't recognize anymore. She knew what it felt to have insult over injury, and damn her if she had it shoved in front of her face without her shoving back.

"It's things like that which didn't win you any favors from Jake."

Leah blinked, hell, _Bella_ blinked. She couldn't quite say where those words come from, but when the Mira girl, her face furious, turned to her, Bella didn't back down. Alright, maybe a little, but she felt better when Leah gave out one amused laugh that sort of broke through Mira's anger and made her face crumple and had her running, followed by her entourage. Leah sneered at the guilty look on Bella's face.

"Charlie's been trying to find you. Come on."

Bella tried very hard to keep up with Leah, but following a werewolf, even in her human form, especially among so many people, would be hard even if she weren't her. Leah waited for her impatiently before she caught her arm and pulled her along.

She watched Leah's face for any kind of emotion, any kind of softness, but found none. It was exactly what she came here searching for. "Leah, you hate me, right?"

Leah frowned down at her, but kept on going. "Not exactly." She returned her eyes to the front. "I have to like you first to hate you."

_Gee, you should speak your mind more often, Leah, _Bella nodded. "I need to ask you something."

She watched the expressions that shifted over Leah's face and doubled back. "No, nothing about _that_. I promise."

Curiosity flashed through Leah's eyes. "Why ask _me _about anything?"

"Because you're an objective party."

"Is this about Jacob?"

"Yes."

She slowed down, but kept her hand on Bella's. "And you."

"Yes."

"Why don't you ask Embry or Quil?"

Bella shrugged, or tried to, she never mastered the art of shrugging casually. "It felt wrong to ask them to…betray a confidence."

Leah scoffed. "And it's not wrong to ask me?"

"Quil and Embry will leave things unsaid, soften things up for me and because of their loyalty to Jacob. I'm not asking for details, I just want to know."

Leah's brown eyes stared at her for the longest time. "What do you want to know?"

Bella was so relieved she almost sank onto the grass in the middle of the crowd. "How…how was it…for him when I left?"

Leah's dark eyes were intense and powerful when she finally said three words that grated against Bella's heart like jagged knives.

"You broke him." She shook her head. "No, you didn't just break him. You ground him into dust."


	9. Manipulation

Tension

"So, you're Bella Swan."

Since Bella had her back on whoever it was, she let the wince passed through her face. _Oh, no. Not again_, she thought as she turned towards her accuser and found herself staring into strangely familiar dark eyes though she didn't recognize the face they belonged to.

Although it wasn't a question, she confirmed her identity and waited for the scalding words. Much like if she was going to face a firing squad. But instead of words, she was treated to a silent yet intense stare, as if she was being scrutinized for every physical flaw there was. Evidently, by the satisfied sneer that widen her smile, she saw many. Her accuser was tall and slim but there was a toughness in the set of her jaw, in the unflinching blatant stare of her eyes, in the square of her shoulders and in the solid way she planted her feet. Something tickled at the back of Bella's mind when the woman—surely this was no girl and what was it with Jacob and older women?—met her eyes after she finished her observation, making her feel like she was a suspicious yet insignificant smear on a precious, expensive carpet. It was a talent which Bella envied.

"Do I know you?" Bella managed to ask despite the sudden urge to shrink and jump into the nearest anthill.

The woman smiled but somehow Bella knew it wasn't meant to be friendly. It was more like a baring of teeth.

"Bella." Relieved for the interruption, she turned to see Seth bouncing over to her, filled to the brim with cheerful energy. "Come on, I need you."

She couldn't help but smile but she wrinkled her brow at him. "For what?"

The grin on his face grew. "For fun."

It was either go with him or have her arm pulled from her body so she let him drag her away, as she turned to see where the other woman was standing, she was no longer there.

***

"I'll fall."

Jared grinned at the grim acceptance in Bella's voice. "You're not going to fall."

"I will. You'll see." She eyed the ground that seemed so far away from where she was perched, which was from somewhere she never before thought she would ever end up on; Seth's back. She had her arms around his neck with her legs around his waist. She waited to be uncomfortable and didn't know how she should feel when she wasn't, even when Seth put his hands on her tights to hitch her up.

The expression on her face was a comical mix of dismay and resignation that Seth rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to drop you, Bella."

"At least, not on purpose." Quil grinned wickedly at her.

Seth frowned at both Bella and Quil. By the look on his face, Bella knew she had somehow injured his ego and since one of the Renee's most repeated rare motherly advice was about the fragility of the male ego, she made haste to rectify her mistake. "I know you won't, Seth." She patted his shoulder as she jumped down. "It's not you I'm worried about."

Kim smiled one of her shy smiles at her, she also jumped down from Jared's back. "Then what are you worried about?"

"That I'm going to somehow lose my grip, fall backward and of course I'm going to hit my head on something so I'll end up being dragged across the race path." She maintained her grim expression even as the others laughed at her. "You'll have to get rid of my body, oh, and think what it will do to Charlie when he had to arrest all of you."

Embry scratched his chin, the smile on his face twitched. "Don't be ridiculous, Bella. Of course we'll dig you a grave."

Paul chuckled. "We'll even get you a headstone."

"We'll bring you flowers and I'll promise to get all choked up." Quil put in his two cents. "It's the least we can do."

"Gee, thanks."

The smatter of laughter only grew at her sarcastic reply.

"What's the joke?" Jacob stood beside Quil, his eyes searched their faces until they landed on Bella who fought not to wince. Leah's words echoed in her mind, shooting ragged needles of ice into her heart as the sight of his face.

"Bella's going to fall." Embry told him.

"Hit her head." Paul continued.

"Get dragged by Seth." Quil picked up the conversation baton.

Seth laughed. "Die."

Jared patted Jacob's shoulders. "We'll have to dig her a grave."

Bella blinked as Kim's lips curved into a perfect replication of Jared's. "And give her flowers every year."

Jacob brows lifted into his hairline. "Right." His eyes dropping to Bella's flushing face. "You're psychic now?"

"I was just saying." She mumbled into her veil of hair and felt a current of shock ran over her spine when he pushed it away from her face to curve over her shoulder in a lush tangle of brown, the tips of his fingers grazing the stretch of her neck, slid down the length of her arm from her shoulder down to her elbow before falling to his side. "You're not going to fall, Bella. Won't she, Seth?"

If it registered to anyone that Jacob's gesture was as intimate as it was proprietary, nobody mentioned it, although interested careful eyes flicked back and forth at both of them, not as subtle as they intended to be. No one didn't think to mention about the subtle warning in Jacob's mild voice either.

Bella didn't know what to say but was wishing really hard for someone to say something to fill the sudden silence that thrummed over the group, she could feel their eyes on her and she was trying not to lift her hand and rub the spot where Jacob's fingers touched her skin. Bella should have felt relieved if not for the sudden solemnity in Seth's; Yes, I'm not going to drop her, Jacob.

It sounded more like a promise than an assurance.

"Seth—."

"I _won't_." The younger boy's voice dripped with insult and hurt.

"I _know_." Jacob rolled his eyes. "I just want to remind you and all of you to tone it down a little."

Seth drew his brow together. "What?"

Jacob blew an exasperated breath as the others chuckled. "I know that she's tiny."

Bella snapped out of her reverie enough to say and affronted; Hey!, which of course they ignored.

"But act like you're actually carrying something, alright?"

"Oh." Seth flashed them a grin. "OK."

Jared craned his head when the crowd started to disperse and gather at the sidelines, clearing a path for the race. "I think it's going to start. Up, Kim."

Bella climbed obligingly onto Seth's back who remembered to hunched over as if she weighed a ton. "I'm not _that_ heavy, Seth."

The wry tone in Bella's voice made Jacob snicker.

The glower on Bella's face tightened when out of nowhere someone jumped onto Jacob's back and clung. Jacob grunted then as if he just remembered his own advice, swayed in afterthought, it was kind of funny if Bella's wasn't so shocked. Jacob merely looked over his shoulder, "Give a guy a warning before you do that, will ya?"

Bella gaped when she realized that the woman who was making herself comfortable on Jacob's back was the same woman who gave her the once over.

She didn't know what bothered her more; the fact that she was cheerfully trading insults with Jacob in a very camaraderie kind of way or that Jacob was letting her.

"Bella, hey." Seth tapped her arms that were wrapped around his neck. "Ease up. You're choking me."

"Oh, sorry." Was it bad of her to feel a shot of smugness when Jacob wore an annoyed expression on his face? Bella wondered. Was it worse that she really couldn't find it within herself to care if it was?

"Bells." Jacob jerked his head to indicate the woman at his back. "This bane of my existence is—"

"We've met." The woman cut him off with a feline smile. "Haven't we?"

Since the smile she sent to Bella was the same peculiar smile that conveyed anything but pleasantries, Bella nodded. Cautiously.

Jacob's eyes narrowed on Bella's tense face. "You did, huh?"

The woman sneered. "Yeah, we did. Problem?"

Before Jacob could say anything, Paul gave out an oomph when Leah jumped on his back. From the way Paul had to take a few steps forward to steady himself, it seemed that Leah had given herself a running start.

Rachel laughed. "Hey, Leah."

Leah fluttered her eyelashes. "Hey, Rach."

Paul frowned. "Did you guys plan this?"

_Rach?_ Bella's eyes whipped back to the woman's face. _As in Rachel? As in Jacob's sister?_

As she processed the new information, the pieces fell and filled the empty spaces of the puzzle. She now saw the similarities between the siblings, felt the whole sibling vibe. _No wonder she looked like she was ready to rip my head off. _

Bella shifted uneasily against Seth's back when Rachel's knowing eyes met hers, especially when she exchanged glances with Leah. She was so not up to battling the two of them, _especially _if they're working together.

"I never thought that my brother would someday carry me in the race. I feel old."

Jared grinned. "You're what? Twenty three? Yeah, you're ancient."

"Shut up youngling. Bow to the wisdom of the ages."

Leah snorted, her breath sent Jared's short hair flying. "I always thought it as pretty sexist. It's like the old days again, where a good man is a strong man. It's the equivalent of guys taking a ruler to their dicks."

Laughter sputtered from the guys.

"Well," Rachel patted Jacob's shoulder. "I agree in testing a man's worth. A guy has to be strong enough to carry his woman in case of an emergency, like throwing us out of a window if there was a fire or something. That's all we'll ever need from you guys anyway."

Bella choked on a smile at the affronted looks on the guys faces, including Jacob's at the condescending tone in Rachel's voice. "I'll throw you out of a window, Rach. Even if there isn't a fire." Jacob muttered.

It was against Quil's nature to let such a provocative statement go without a fight, so he fastened a leer on his face. "Oh, I can think of a few _other_ things."

Rachel sniffed at the slow masculine chuckles that rumbled through the guys and looked down her straight nose at them. "It's because of that kind of attitude that Tia broke up with you in second grade, Quil."

Even if that was _way_ over and done, and because it was exactly way over and done hence it should stay that way, Quil considered it as a hit below the belt and couldn't resist to get away with a few solid jabs as well. "It's because of _that_ kind of attitude that you can't keep a man, Rach."

Rachel narrowed her eyes, looking so much like Jacob that Bella had to blink a few times, but she only said one word. "Embry."

"Ow." Quil rubbed the back of his head and skewered Embry with a pained and betrayed look. Embry gave a nervous laugh, like he didn't believe he actually hit Quil because Rachel told him to, but she sounded so much like Jacob. "Sorry, man. Reflex."

Rachel cackled with glee even as Jacob grinned.

Bella watched over Seth's shoulder as they walked over to the start line, listening to the bickering familiarity of the pack and those who knew and kept their secret which made them essentially family. And although she was standing among them, she felt as if she was watching them from across a glass wall and it made her heart felt stretched and twisted. Now, like when the sudden realization that she was no longer and will never be a Cullen smote her with the force of a battering ram, the fact that she left more than just Jacob in Forks hit her between the eyes like a well aimed brick. Between Leah's words, Jacob's reticence and then this, Bella only wanted to crawl into bed and stay there for a few weeks.

She was wallowing in self pity and so lost in thought that she didn't see the two pairs of similar dark eyes that silently watched her.

She surfaced from wallowing only when a whoop of laughter ran through the crowd when the line of young men that entered the race all ran simultaneously without waiting for the 'go' mark.

"Isn't this cheating?" Bella tightened her hold on Seth, the rocks along the straight long path didn't look comfortable at all. Jared who ran beside them gasped out a, "Yes."

Bella watched with wide eyes when Jared, Kim grinning on his back, hooked his foot around the ankle of the man who was running in front of them and pulled, sending the man and his female baggage sprawling on the ground. "Sorry Chris, maybe next time." He chortled and jumped over them, dodging the hands that tried to grab his ankles.

"Uh, isn't that _also_ cheating?"

Kim sighed when her boyfriend let out a victorious yell. "Cheating is actually required."

"This is no sport for pansies. This is for men." Paul hollered as he passed them, Leah whooping a storm like she was a warrior in a raiding party on his back. "Later girls."

"Oh, _hell_ no." Jared dug his barefoot in the ground and quickened his pace, so did Seth. Jacob appeared at their side, grinning. "I said tone it down, at least show some effort."

Seth snorted when Jacob passed them, Rachel blowing them kisses as they streaked passed them. "He just wants to win."

"We can't have that."

Bella groaned when Seth and Jared exchanged a wide grin.

It was no wonder really, with all the hooking, grabbing, elbowing, pulling, kicking, _biting_ that was going on, the race was cut short and the only contestants left was the pack members that actually participated. Bella wanted to say it was unfair because of their reflex, strength, speed and stamina, but really, since cheating was a requirement, and what was being a werewolf in a race not cheating?, her argument was moot. She rolled her eyes when they, hardly breathing hard and not even breaking a sweat, discussed the outcome of the race.

"Whose turn it is to win?" Paul asked to nobody in particular.

"I think it's Jacob's." Kim answered.

"I won six months ago." Jacob joined in the discussion.

"Me. Me." Seth even raised his right hand, he would've jumped in excitement if Jacob hadn't sent him a look.

Bella was torn between smiling and being unnerved when the older pack members sneered in that disturbingly similar way they could do, and for the first time Bella saw that even Leah held that pack trait. "Please, Seth. It's your first time." Leah smirked. "You can't win on your first time."

"Besides." Paul dug the knife a little deeper. In a brotherly way of course. "Who'll believe that you can win over us?"

"I never get to win over anything."

"Don't pout baby bro. It's too cute."

They teased him for the remainder of the path until finally one by one they slowed until Seth—busily brooding and sulking—passed the finish line, not realizing that he actually won until people rushed to congratulate him. Bella dropped to the ground grinning at Seth's flushed face, at least until she realized that as one, the crowd was looking at _her_. Waiting for what she didn't know, so she merely looked back.

Bella watched the grin that grew on Quin's face with trepidation; she had spent enough time around him to know what that particular grin meant. It didn't help when she also noticed the embarrassed chagrin look on Seth's face. "Guys, I don't think Bella knows."

The explosive laughter from the crowd that was mainly made out of men had a hint of something that brought a rush of blood rush up to Seth's cheeks. "I'm sorry, Bella. I totally forgot."

"What?" Bella's eyes flicked back to the pack's faces who looked rueful. At least, most of them, Jacob looked like he was uncertain what look to wear on his face while Leah's was amused. Rachel however was watching his brother very closely. Embry took hold of Seth's shoulders and pushed him in front of her. Bella stared at Seth who was trying to look at anything _but_ her.

"Kiss him, Bella."

Bella blinked. "What?"

"Kiss him. "Quil snickered. "As a gift and a thank you, honoring him for giving you victory."

Paul shrugged. "It's a guy Indian tribe thing."

"Oh." Bella looked up at Seth, embarrassment turning her stomach to knots, not to mention the numbers of eyes watching. And then, there was Jacob who she really didn't want to think about. But, Seth looked even more uncomfortable, more embarrassed, not to mention guiltily mortified than she was. The apology was there in his eyes that she couldn't help but feel tickled by the situation.

_Oh, what the hell_, Bella squared her shoulders, channeled her inner Lulu, raised herself on her tip toes and pressed her lips firmly against Seth's then pulled away with a loud smack.

Seth blinked, confused but grinned when the crowd cheered. She grinned back at him although her brows wrinkle where it deepened when she heard snickers from the pack. "What?"

It was Quil who answered, a laugh trembling along his throat. "You could've just kissed him on his cheek, you know."

She didn't bother to block the tide of red that rushed up her face. "What? Why didn't you tell me?"

Embry blinked his brown eyes, looking as innocent as a lamb. "We thought you knew."

Temper sparked her eyes. "The _hell_ you did." She knew she would get nowhere with the guys so she aimed a look at Kim who tried to stifle a smile as she said, "I tried. I really did, but—"

"Oh, come on Bella, think of it as a good deed." Paul ruffled Seth's hair who growled a warning at him. "Give the kid a thrill."

"I've kissed girls before."

Leah gave her brother a pitying look. "Mom doesn't count."

Seth's face screwed up. "Oh, _ew,_ Leah."

Embry's face was the very picture of disappointment. "Men don't say things like _ew_."

"Yuck is acceptable." Quil nodded sagely. "Ick, well, that depends upon the situation but mainly, we suffer in silence."

Bella was hard pressed not to stomp her foot, but a sudden flash to the last time she did that and Jacob's reaction to it, stopped her. Her thoughts made her look up to Jacob and found that his eyes were on her. His face showed nothing, it was set into pleasant but unreadable lines. It was the look in his eyes that froze her breath and heart, but before she could decipher the emotions behind the dark depths, Jacob lowered his eyelids and blinked; a long sweep of eyelashes that told nothing of his thoughts and when they opened and met hers once again, they were as deep as they were unfathomable.

***

She wanted to go home. No, not Charlie's place but her own home, the home she made herself and most importantly _for_ herself that was filled with her things that solely belonged to only her. She wanted her own sets of friends; Lulu, Misha, Tina and Brian who had no secrets, no hidden thoughts, at least not when it pertains to her. At least, not that she knew of. She tried to find Tina, even Matt or Gabe as soon as she escaped the watchful eyes of the Pack but she couldn't find them. Leah's words were slamming around in her skull so hard that it echoed down her ribs.

What was she doing here anyway? What did she want? What did she expect? That things can just go on the way it was? _What_?

What did she want? What did she want from Jacob?

_You broke him. You ground him into dust._

_Could I do that to him again?_ The question stopped her in her tracks. Could_ I do that to him again? _The double meaning of the question was suddenly clear to her. She was able to break his heart because he loved her.

Does he love her now? Does she want him to? Is that why she's here?

Bella shook her head and weaved her way through the crowd, bumping into people but seeing nobody as she mutter apologies.

_Surely four years was enough to get over somebody? _She ignored the mocking laugh that rose in her mind.

It took her a second to realized that she'd stopped walking and then another to realize why. A hand was on her arm, unmoving and strong…and burning. She didn't need to look to know who that hand belonged to.

"Where are you going?"

Was there a thread of tenderness in the firmness of his voice? Was it hope that twisted her insides? Or dread? Bella kept her eyes down. "Home."

"Why?"

"I'm tired."

"Why?"

Irritation shot through Bella, stiffening her spine, making her pull her hand away but Jacob held fast.

"Who are you going with?"

"Charlie." She tried to pull away again but still he didn't let go. She wondered whether there was a metaphor in there somewhere. An analogy perhaps?

"Charlie went home with my dad a couple of minutes ago."

Bella didn't know whether it was her imagination but she thought she heard a hint of smugness in that sentence.

"I'll ask Gabe or Matt."

"No."

The brisk and short refusal, as if he had any right to stop from doing anything she chose, shocked her enough that she snapped her eyes to his. "_What_?"

Not 'why', why would give him the impression that she accepted his refusal but 'what' would serve as the self righteous; 'how _dare_ you?' which was no question at all, more of an exclamation really.

"They have to help with the cleaning crew."

No, there was no denying it. There _was_ a certain smugness, a taste of bitter satisfaction in the tone of his voice that raised her hackles. She often pondered—once it didn't hurt and then as time passed, when she wasn't so busy—why Jacob always managed to make her angrier than everyone she knew combined. Why it was always so hard to forgive him when he betrayed a confidence, when he did something that she didn't like.

Harder than it ever was with other people.

"Fine. I'll take the bus."

His eyes narrowed on her face. "What bus? Where are you going?"

"_Home_."

His eyes darkened as he realized what she meant. "You can't."

"Excuse me?"

"It's too late."

_Today is just full with double meanings it seem_, Bella pulled harder on her hand but it was no use. It was like trying to move a truck with her pinky.

"Besides, you promised."

"I didn't promise you anything."

The silence between them that followed her harsh declaration was bursting with layers of meanings. Too many to discuss, too many to dissect, too many to even try to understand.

Jacob's voice was mild, controlled. His eyes shuttered. "But you promised my father. Breakfast, tomorrow."

Bella gritted her teeth as she remembered. "Rain check."

"No. You'll come."

"I make my own decisions, Jake."

"Then make the right ones."

There were tears in her eyes and she didn't know how it got there or why it was there at all. "I _did_."

_How did it come to this?_ Bella asked herself.

There used to be no secrets between them, nothing that they couldn't talk about. Theirs were a no-bars-hold-take-no-prisoners kind of relationship. They were too impatient to put on kid gloves, to even think of putting them on. There was no such thing as too much honesty between them.

If it hurts, they'll bleed. If it's good, they'll burst out with laughter

Finally, finally he released her arm and she felt both relief and panic set in, scattering her pulse.

"You'll come with Charlie to our house tomorrow."

She glared at his back through her tears as he walked away from her, the sight of it heightened her anger simply because it hurt. And even though she knew exactly what she sounded like if she did, she mumbled out a sullen, "Why should I?"

"Because you know we can't afford any broken promises."

As she watched him walked into the crowd, she found the answer to her ponderings.

Why does Jacob always manage to make her angrier than everyone she knew combined? Why was it always so hard to forgive him when he betrayed a confidence, especially when he did something that she didn't like?

Why was it so much harder for her to forgive him than other people?

The answer was simple.

Because, out of all those people, he _knew_ her.

Because, out of all those people, she expected him to know her most of all.


	10. Tension

**Tension**

After Charlie kicked the screen door open and walked inside with his hands loaded with stacks of Tupperware and plates covered with aluminum foils, Jacob lean against the door so Bella could sidle in. He tried very hard not to smile or snicker at her glowering face, his own pleasantly bland even when she walked the length of the floor with huge, stomping steps.

He got what he wanted; Bella in his house. Rubbing it in would just be tacky.

While both of their dads retreated to the living room, Bella tackled the stacks of food, making a lot of noise, showing her displeasure without even saying a word.

He didn't know that plastic containers could make so much noise.

But he didn't really mind, he watched her progress as he took out a carton of orange juice from the fridge. She was still pissed at him but at the very least, she was comfortable enough, with him and with being in his home, to actually show she was pissed.

Even with Billy in the room.

Jacob slid his eyes toward their dads and found them facing him with similar curious looks. Their eyes flicked back to Bella and back to him as if to ask; what's wrong with her?

In the ways of men, Jacob shrugged.

Charlie and Billy exchanged a wry look and returned back to the TV, raising the volume as if they wanted to give them enough privacy.

He considered taking the opportunity but thought against it because Bella was holding a very big knife. He didn't really think she would actually use it on him but all things considered, one of them being that she knew she could stab him and have him heal the wound in a matter of seconds, he thought it best to wait until she was far from any kind of sharp implements…or anything that can be used as a weapon which was…pretty much everything if you're creative enough.

Bella always had a temper, it was nothing new, as was fights between them. He considered himself an amiable sort, easy going but yes, he also had a temper when pushed and Bella, well, something about her always managed to push his buttons. He didn't think he'd ever fought as much as with other people as he did with her.

She could pull out the best and worst parts of him with a snap of a finger.

He sipped on his orange juice, training his eyes on the high bouncing pony tail that she sported this morning and reflected that it was the worse part of him that reared its ugly head yesterday. He'd intentionally goaded her and boxed her in. Not that anything he said yesterday wasn't true. It was. It was the delivery that he regretted.

There was no use denying it, Jacob never really had a taste for lying, especially to himself. He knew why he did it, why he poked and prodded at her until she was flush with temper and insult.

He was jealous.

He brushed a hand over his face as sheer embarrassment turned his stomach. It wasn't the fact that he was jealous per se that bothered him, it wasn't even the fact that he was jealous over something as laughingly chaste as that playful peck she'd given Seth. What mortified him right to his bones was that as soon as he saw her press her lips to Seth's, his hands had trembled in an all too familiar way and he'd wanted to shove his way through the crowd, snatch her away, phase and bite Seth's head off.

He was okay with the jealousy, he'd gotten use to feeling it, he could still remember the acrid taste that swirled in his mouth whenever Bella mentioned _his_ name, remembered the burning sensation in his chest when he imagined them together. He was too used to the jealousy for it to bother him. But to think that he'd thought to offer violence to one of his brothers, to a pack member where he was Alpha over something as trivial as a kiss, or that he could disregard their need for secrecy by phasing in front of a whole boatload of people, well, that made him sick to his stomach. Shame was an acid wound that sizzled against his skin and shame had turned to anger and anger into blame.

And he had blamed her.

He didn't at first, angry as he was when he caught up with her—knowing something was wrong by the way she moved, the pounding of her heart, the way her eyes were too bright—he was more worried than angry, but then he saw it, the slide of her eyes, the stiffness in her shoulders. She was going to runaway again, the thought had passed his mind and it blew a hole on the wall he'd build to surround his temper.

But regretful as he was, he couldn't seem to regret the words that he'd said. So, he wasn't going to apologize. She would just have to get over it.

With that conclusion he padded barefoot to her side of the little kitchen, ignoring when she stiffen as he leaned his hip on the counter, she was stirring something on the stove that smelled delicious and spicy.

Something inside him softened when he watched her opened a cabinet and took out a large glass bowl and propped it on the counter before opening the second right drawer to take out a wooden spoon. For someone who'd been absent from his life for four years, she looked pretty comfortable in his kitchen, not to mention that she still remembered where everything was.

"Are you not going to talk to me for the rest of the day?" He asked, leaning heavier into the counter so he could see her face better.

"No." She answered shortly. "I won't be here to not talk to you for the rest of the day."

The smile that curved his lips at her first answer faded. "What do you mean?"

"Charlie's going to drive me over after this."

_Yeah_, Jacob mused inwardly as he felt the irritation came and went, _she really knew how to push my buttons_.

"Where's your sister?" She asked, as if she knew he was about to say something scathing.

"She likes to take a morning run at the beach. She'll probably arrive the same time as the others."

Her hands stop at that. "The others?"

Jacob grinned at the surprise at her voice. "Bella, surely you realize already that food is a pack event."

She spread her gaze to the stacks of containers that she brought as if she was calculating for rations. He chuckled as she aimed them a baleful look.

"Don't worry, back up is on the way. Emily is used to cooking for our bottomless pits."

She lifted her eyes to him at that, as if she just remembered. "Emily."

"Yeah, she wants to see you."

"I didn't see her yesterday, Sam, too."

Jacob shrugged. "They haven't a lot of time alone and Emily hasn't been doing well."

He blinked when she pressed a hand on his arm. "What do you mean? Is she sick?"

The worry inside her eyes touched him…and amused him. "No, nothing like that. You'll see."

"So, everything's all right?"

Jacob returned his eyes to Bella's brown ones and lingered. Somehow, he felt that she was talking about something more than just Emily and Sam. Her eyes didn't waver from his so he was able to read the confusion, the vulnerability, the desperation. _Lie to me_, they said. _Lie to me and tell me that everything is going to be alright._ _That everything will go back as it was before, before monsters, before secrets, before _us_._

"No." He answered, his voice clipped and brisk, it was more of a refusal than an answer.

She saw her eyes tightened before they lowered and felt a bitter kind of satisfaction coursing through him.

"I'm going back after this." She told him as if that was final.

Jacob picked a slice of cheese and brought it to his mouth. "We'll see."

Any kind of swift rejoinder from Bella was stopped when loud footsteps clattered over the front porch and voices crept closer. The door swung open and all hell broke lose.

***

She swept her brow and shook her head at the shriek that erupted from one corner of the forest, Colin or Brady, _hell_, it could probably Quil for all she knew. She didn't know how they could move with all the food they were shoveling into their mouths, much less run around the Black's back yard. Seeing as the whole pack and family came, they took the breakfast event outside at the back yard with haphazard tables and mismatching chairs. Cutlery was scarce so they made do with plastic spoons and paper plates that Emily brought over. Her eyes caught the now married couple sitting across from her and remembered how Sam had approached her with somber eyes and quiet relief while Emily had enveloped her into an embrace which of course was how she found out.

Emily was pregnant.

She was happy for them of course, in fact, she was surprise of how happy she was. Her heart had bumped hard against her ribs, her throat had closed when she saw the bright glow in Emily's as she laughed and rubbed her bulging four months stomach. Bella's mumbled 'I am _so_ happy for you', was earnest and so very heartfelt. She'd figured, if anyone deserved happiness, Sam and Emily did.

And so did Leah.

Bella tried very hard not to look at Leah's face when she realized Emily was pregnant, but couldn't help to sneak a peek when everyone else was busy managing the chairs and tables. Leah eyes, when they landed on Sam and Emily was still bitter but no longer angry. Sad, wistful perhaps but no longer angry.

_I guess, anger can only go so far_, Bella thought.

"Bella." Sue Clearwater called her from the far corner of the table. "This pie is amazing."

Bella smiled. "Thank you."

Jacob snickered at her left. "She totally stole my recipe."

She elbowed him in the ribs. "I did not."

He ignored her digging elbow and forked the slice on her plate, she stared at him with disbelief. "Don't you ever stop eating?"

"Sure. When I run out of food."

Bella disgustedly shoved her plate in front of him. "Billy, how could you afford to feed him?"

Billy chuckled. "We take a contribution."

Sue and Charlie laughed when Jacob patted his flat stomach with a satisfied sigh. "Come on, Bells. Time to burn some calories." Jacob pulled her by the hand to join the other pack members who were playing…some kind of game she didn't know. She waited for her anger, her discomfort to rear ugly head at the touch of his hand but it didn't. She was too full, too comfortable and too…happy to let their problems marred the day. It was uncommonly sunny for Forks and the air was, well, not as cold as it should. Golden threads escaped misty grey clouds to highlight the greens and browns of the Earth's surface. Laughter rode the air as did shouts and screams and curses and it was hard to keep a sullen air about her with all the infectious playfulness of the pack. _That's probably why Jacob invited them_, she thought grudgingly. Besides, she'd shrugged off the habit of wallowing in misery.

She felt a smile on her lips when Jacob looked back and grinned excitedly at her. "Come on, Bella. It's about time you do this properly."

She blinked even as they followed the pack, Rachel and Kim jumped on the back of Quil's and Embry's truck. Jacob deposited her at the back of Quil's along with the Kim and Seth while he took his place at the cab with Quil.

"Sam, tell the parents we're going to the beach." he said and Bella twisted her back to see whether Sam had left the tables and was with them but he was nowhere around. But then she realized that she was with werewolves, Sam could probably hear them from where he was sitting with Emily. With loud drumming and enthusiastic howls, Quil's truck led the way to the beach.

***

Bella gulped and pushed her hair away from her face. "No."

Jacob was shirtless and his skin gleamed in the misty sunlight, his hair whipped around like tattered velvet in the biting wind. He raised his eyebrows. "Why not?"

"Why not? You're asking me why not?"

He looked at her, innocence radiating from his eyes. "Yeah."

"Don't you remember what happen the last time I tried this?"

"Well, last time, you were crazy, I wasn't here, there was a storm coming and—" He ignored her choking protest and affronted looks then pointed up, "—you jumped from up there."

She looked upwards without moving her head, knowing all too well what she would see. The looming, harsh cliff where she insanely and desperately and stupidly jumped off all those years ago. It looked really, really tall, the way it slashed at the sky like a black, daunting arrow. She shuddered as she remembered dark water closing in on her, the boiling sensation in her lungs. "Okay, point. But…" She inched cautiously towards the end of the lower cliff they were on, although it seemed reasonably adequate than the higher one but still very, very high. She looked down from the edge and saw the pack and crew fooling around in the water under them, their laughter echoing in her ears. The ground shifted between her feet and she hurriedly stepped back, shaking her head. "No."

Jacob's face crumpled into disbelief. "Aw, come on, Bells. You can do it."

She crossed her hands in front of her, her face settling into stubborn lines. "I can. But I won't."

Jacob walked towards the edge and shouted against the wind. "Guys, I think Bella needs a little encouragement."

Instantly, shouts filled the wind. "Come on, Bella. Don't be a coward."

"The water is freezing cold. You'll like it. Very refreshing."

"You jumped before, dig and find your inner stupid."

"Sharks, Bella. Sharks. Remember jaws?"

At one point, a choir of clucking chickens reverberated up the stones and blazed her ears. She scowled at Jacob who laughed uproariously until he had to sit down.

He sighed when she frowned even more. "Fine. Be a party pooper. You can stay up her here and watch us have fun."

She sniffed. "I'm not going stay here. I'm going to the beach and have fun there building sand castles."

Jacob sneered. "Fine. Say your goodbyes."

Bella turned and inched toward the edge, bending over to shout her goodbyes. "Sorry, guys. I'm not gonna….Ju_UUMP_."

Bella's screech reached glass breaking octaves, as Jacob ran quickly toward her, whipped a hand around her waist and jumped with her in tow, all flailing limbs and horrified screeches. Her screams lasted a few seconds until they hit the water in a smooth, long splash. White bubbles made silver in the darkness enveloped her body and deathly panic would have set in if not for the hot iron band on her waist, pulling her upwards with smooth, powerful strokes.

Laughter sneaked through the pounding of her blood in her ears as they broke the surface, ripping away the claustrophobic vacuum of the sea, her wide open eyes met Jacob's bright laughing ones that peeked from the wet darkness of his hair while she fought to breathe. Her fingers skittered over his skin when she scrambled against his body, winding her limbs around him in search of warmth—the water was freezing—and safety.

"So, was it good for you as it was good for me, Bells?" He chuckled at her, as if Bella wasn't clinging to him like he was the last solid thing on a ground that was breaking.

"I'm… going… to… _kill_… you."

Obviously her threat wasn't much because the pack laughed at her then left them to their own devices. "That threat would probably have a little more bite if you're teeth stops chattering."

"Never…do..that…again."

His grin widened. "Admit it, it gave you a rush."

Bella gritted her teeth in vexation, the adrenalin rush was starting to fade and images of her horrified screams embarrassed her. He was a churning heat against her cold body. His skin slick and tight under her hands. She could feel his thumbs moving against her waist, and she felt her blood hummed with awareness.

"Yeah, sure. So will…_this_." She planted her hands on his shoulders and pushed, dunking him.

Bella's laugh was a wild thing in the air that trembled to a stop when she felt something caught her feet, she kicked her feet when he caught her ankle and pulled him under with him.

Eyes met in the dancing shafts of light that bend and twist, here where words were useless and meaningless, they grinned at each other with childish delight; impish and mischievous. Years fell through, connections and bonds burned bright and steady, and side by side, they swam through liquid beauty toward the restlessly moving legs of their friends. A battle of slick bodies and restless limbs broke under water as one by one they relinquished themselves to the power of the water, pausing occasionally to take breath.

***

It was close to midnight that Bella finally made it to her store. Jacob had apparently won this time and she wasn't really sure that she wasn't grateful that he did. She felt…alive, sure her bones ached, her skin felt stretched and gritty with salt, her limbs heavy and she had to fight really, really hard to not fall asleep in Jacob's black Impala but that didn't mean that she didn't have fun. She poured hot tea into a cup and turned, Jacob was a palpable energy inside her apartment. _He didn't even look tired_, she groused as her eyes scrutinized him, he was perusing the book rack that covered her bedroom wall from ceiling to floor. If she felt any discomfort that he was in her bed room, well, it couldn't really be helped, there were no walls to part or doors to close. He had already changed into a sky Blue T-shirt and blue jeans that was frayed at the legs that made her wonder whether he had any jeans that wasn't frayed. She doubted it and it wasn't like she really cared. Jacob was like her in that department, they cared more for comfort than fashion. Besides, it's not like he didn't look good in it anyway.

Bella winced as the thought speared her mind.

Jacob turned and walked toward the low yellowish brown couch that she pushed against the foot of her bed, facing her media center. The TV was currently on, letting loose a low hum of conversation and laughter. She gave the cup to him as he sat and flicked the remote then walked back toward the kitchen at the far side of her wide open apartment, opening the three windows that almost took all the space of the East wall.

She didn't really know why he followed her in, and couldn't really say why she didn't tell him no. She was tired, it was the dead of the night, so many reasons to send him home after she opened her door but she didn't even think about saying them out loud. The whole day had progressed like this, where they slid in and out of their old habits of uncomplicated affection into intense, scalding awareness, but even as the tension between them vibrated and thrummed in the air that the pack had watched them with knowing and unreadable eyes, the sense of comfort didn't lessen.

She sensed him at her back and turned. His eyes were a dark depth on his handsome face and they focused on her face with an intensity that tightened her insides.

_Oh, yes. That's why, _she thought. Her eyes fell to the necklace that she gave him and felt the now almost familiar pleasure that sighed inside her every time she saw it against his skin. She wondered whether he felt the same each time he saw his bracelet on hers.

Jacob watched her fingers on her mug tightened for a fracture of a second before they loosened again, but she still held her breath, as if she knew, something was going to happen.

"We should talk." He said and watched her eyelids flutter down to her mug, still held in front of her body like a shield. And he hated it, hated it as much as he could hate an inanimate thing, hated that she thought she needed protection from him.

"Okay." She whispered and put down her mug on the counter at her hip but keeping one hand curled around it.

He waited until her eyes returned to him and when they did, he felt the pull at his stomach which spread to his fingertips. "Bells—" He stopped, cursing himself for a masochistic fool but he needed to know. He rolled his shoulders, trying to shrug off the needling voices in his head. He felt his face smoothen into the façade that always managed to keep his emotions in check and saw the hurt bloomed in her eyes.

"Do you still love him?"

He heard her breath caught, saw the tremble of air that paused between the small opening of her pale pink lips. She saw them closed, saw the ripples of emotion in her eyes before she opened them again. "Yes."

Short, succinct.

Lethal.

Jacob sucked in a breath and nodded while he concentrated his focus on something other than her face. He knew it for a fact and he'd accepted it but the fact that she was in love with another, still burned.

His eyes returned to hers and saw her fear; fear that he would turn away and leave, saw the spine crumbling resignation and acceptance. He realized that she was willing to let him go, the problem was that he wasn't so willing.

"Do you still love me?"

Her eyes widened, her mouth opened and closed. Again, her breath paused inside of her throat but her eyes softened when it landed on his face. "Yes."

Jacob felt his heart swell, threatening to burst out of his chest before it returned into its normal size, turning and sighing deeply inside its home.

Pride never did comfort him, so he didn't try to hide his words or change their meaning. "Are you going to leave me again?"

He saw the hesitation on her face but her lips firmed. "I don't know."

"If I ask you not to?"

Her eyes closed, slowly, painfully. "Don't."

Jacob watched the wide space between them, an empty space that was filled by more than air; ghosts, words and actions piled deep and high, forming a wall that was as hard and solid as the walls that surrounded them. But that didn't mean that he couldn't—wouldn't—scale them.

"If I ask you what happened between you and him, will you tell me?"

There was no hesitation though her answer did come off as dragged and stilted. "Yes."

Jacob nodded and took a deep breath, the scent of apple tea and the sea that rose from their skin swirled deep inside his chest. His eyes wavered out the window but the truth was, he wasn't really seeing anything. The slow ticking of the clock and the hum of the fridge filled the silence between them.

"Jake." She paused. "Are we…are we okay, now?"

He felt her breath as if she was pressed against him and his mind returned to when she _was_ pressed against him; wet, shivering, angry. He idly indulged in the fantasy and felt her words brushed against his skin, raising the fine hairs at the back of his neck. What was the harm, really?

"Sure, sure." She blinked when he took three long steps, shortening the distance that stretched between them. "We just have to get this one thing out of the way."

"What?" She tilted her head up as he came closer but Jacob didn't bother to answer, he merely reached out a hand and kissed her.


	11. Heat

**Heat**

Greed streaked through Jacob like a hot blade, searing through logic and self preservation. Gone were all the _toosoontoolatetoomuch_, the only word echoing in his mind as he pulled her close was _moremineatlast._

His senses; overwhelmed.

His skin; inflamed.

He absorbed every sigh and gasp that she made, caught them between his lips and let it roll on his tongue, savoring each taste that washed his senses.

He drew her in and drew her close.

There was no teasing, no persuasion, no gentle, kind words, the kiss was as straightforward as it was to the point. It's meaning unmistakable.

I. Want. You.

With no real effort, Jacob backed her up against the counter and with a quick movement of his hands, boosted her up, swallowing her gasp as he moved his body between her legs. With his lips still burning on hers, Jacob gripped her thighs and pulled her to the edge of the counter, pressing her flush against his chest. Her breath scalded his cheeks in surprise when he bit her bottom lip, his fingers fisting on the back of her shirt, threading in her long hair as he gulped her down with slow, greedy bites.

Jacob breathed in the scent that rose from her skin as her body heated up, felt her frantic heart beat against his chest, heard it pound against his own. His heighten senses went haywire with the feel and taste of her, he could feel every strand of hair that grazed his sensitized skin, the flutter of her eyelashes upon his cheek, the slide of her soft body against his unrelenting one, the slick roll of her tongue against his.

The fact that she was kissing him back just as fiercely, just as fervently as he was kissing her should've surprised him and it did…somewhere in the back of his mind.

But right now, all he wanted was to take. Possess. Seize.

A low growl wrenched out of his throat when she arched against him, a sensual assault to his lessening sanity, spreading ripples of liquid heat that basked his insides and melted all semblance of reason.

Fingers clenched, pressed and clutched.

Mouths bit, grazed and smothered.

The heat that imploded in her stomach should've scared her, the suppressing strength of his body and hands should've also frightened her, but it didn't. The moment Jacob's lips pressed against hers, she was lost, drowned, swept away by the realization that this was Jacob; his scent, his taste, the feel of his body familiar and welcome.

Everywhere he touched her, she burned, her skin prickled to life and the weariness she felt earlier dissipated by the sudden onslaught to her body. Her frantic heart went wild and she panted out his name when his blazing mouth devastated a path down her neck and sucked on her collarbone. Her thighs clamped restlessly on his hips when he swept a hand on one leg in a smooth long line of fire that seared her skin even through her jeans. His hands splayed on the small of her back underneath her T shirt and she swore she could feel the imprint of his fingerprints upon her skin. She tossed her head back on a long, drugged moan, her long hair streaming down her arched back, its edges almost reaching the surface of the gleaming counter. Her fingers dug into his broad shoulders when he drew a moist trail up her neck and back towards her mouth. Her body seemed to thrummed like a tuning fork and all she could breath in was hot, moist air, heady with his scent; musky, earthy male with a hint of fresh pine. He was all restless energy and bunching muscles under her hands and all the sensations that he created with the movement of his tongue and mouth and the press of his hands on her skin made her want to scream.

And the connection, that undeniable bond that pulled and pulsed between them twisted her heart.

He tore himself from her lips with a harsh curse that made her eyes popped wide open and with arms still around each other, they stared. Jacob tried to control his breathing with little success and the intensity of the moment, the level position of their eyes too intimate, too intrusive. Slowly, silkily, he pressed a kiss on her lips before sweeping his hand up her back to curl at the back of her neck. He leaned away to watch the devastating affect of his touch in the glow of her eyes, in the way her breath shuddered.

His hand moved from the back of her neck to cradle her face and while he stroke a thumb across her cheekbone he watched her face soften.

"Well," he murmured, "now that we've got that out of the way…"

Bella blinked in surprised and couldn't help the burst of shocked laughter that was met by his wry smile, once again wondering how weird it was that even after a sudden marauding of the senses like what had just happened, she could still wrap her arms around his neck and hold him to her in a move that was entirely affectionate and loving, but really, that was never their problem, was it? She laid her head on his shoulder, her face tucked against his neck and sighed deeply.

"What are we going to do, Jake?"

His response to the whispered inquiry was to also wrap his hands around her, sweeping her hair away from her face. "We…live, I guess."

Bella sighed against his chest, burrowing deep against the beat of his heart that was still a little fast. She caught their reflection on the reflective surface of her fridge, saw the darkness of her eyes peeking over the paleness of her arms that was wound tight around his broad shoulders. She couldn't see her own expression but she knew what she would see if she tilt up her face; comfort, safety, sated.

There was no denying it, there was possessiveness in the way she held him, the way she leaned heavily against his body, an intimate knowing in the way her body curved into his.

Their provocative pose should have shocked, embarrassed but she felt right, comfortable and she missed feeling the safety that one can feel in another person's embrace. Not to say there wasn't a sensual ripple; it was there in the languid surrender that was instilled in her by the way his tall body loomed over her, the prickles of pleasure she felt at the feel of his heat and the strong muscles underneath her hands, the way his arms—not crushing, not tight but secure and firm and hinted of possession—surround her. His fingers curled at the ends of her hair, his soft moist breath was hot against the skin of her neck as he rubbed his cheek against hers slowly, luxuriously.

"You're sleepy." His voice rumbled in his chest and tickled her ears.

"No, I'm not."

Jacob laughed at the thick, hazy denial. "Come on."

Jacob grunted when Bella hitched her legs around his waist, clinging to his torso and sucked in a breath at the expected tightening of his body. She smiled against his neck and felt the climb of a growl rumbled in his chest before it trickled out of his lips.

He mumbled something under his breath and walked the length of her bed to the floor, turning off ceiling lights as he went. He pulled the multicolored quilt off, tipped her onto the bed, pulled her shoes off of her feet and tucked her in. "Stay, Jacob."

He huffed out a reluctant breath. "I have to go home, baby."

Bella tangled her fingers on his T-shirt. "Until I sleep."

Jacob's sigh was heavy and tired but he toed off his shoes and tried to stay on top of the covers, but Bella tossed the covers away and used him as a blanket instead. Jacob eyed her peaceful face when she propped her cheek on his shoulder, a hand sliding across his chest to play with the edges of his hair. "You're doing this to torture me."

Her answer to that accusation was a breathy, "You started it."

Jacob rolled his eyes but then finally, his hands rubbing slow circles on her back, pressed a gentle, whisper of a kiss on her forehead that clearly said _I love, love, love you_.

Her eyes fluttered open, they looked almost as dark as his in the warm glow of the night lamp by her bed. They exchanged a sad yet resigned kind of smile that spoke of everything they had gone through, together and apart. Bella released his hair and touched his cheek and left it there in a disturbingly familiar kind of gesture that reminded them of the twist and oddity of one's fate. Her touch, the dark depth of her eyes also told him in a rush of simple yet extraordinary unspoken words; _I love, love, love you._

Bella and Jacob kept their eyes on each other until they slowly slid close on their own.

Bella woke up to an empty bed the next morning, also disturbingly familiar to what happened oh, so long ago but this time she didn't broke down into tears. In fact, she felt good, well, as she met the morning sun with a slow, well being 'ohwhatabeautifulmorning' smile on her lips.


	12. Tangled

Tangled

"Bella," Brian poked his head in the kitchen. "The new order of books is here."

Bella dusted off her hands and joined Brian at the back door of the store where they dealt with loadings and unloading. It's been a week since then, a week since last they saw each other but strangely, Bella wasn't worried. Some would say she was too busy to worry with summer coming in and with it a large flux of customers, new books and new recipes and new displays to plan. But it wasn't that, not mostly anyway, somehow, Bella just knew that they were okay.

Bella wiped her forehead with a hand and signed the order papers before helping Brian and Sean to carry the boxes in.

_But then again,_ she thought, _it_ has_ been a week._

She stopped at Lulu's side and pondered her choices. "Lu, would you please box 3 of the apple pies you made, three dozen of your chocolate chip cookies, those macadamia nuts, the oatmeal too. Put some cold milk and hot coffee into a thermos and ring me up, okay? I'm going to take the afternoon off."

Lulu didn't even raise an eyebrow, Bella knew that the crew had noticed Jacob's sudden absence but they showed impressive self restraint by not commenting upon it. "Sure thing, boss."

"Might want to take a bath, though." Tina appeared at the doorway.

"Yeah, wear that flirty skirt I gave you last Christmas." Misha joined the conversation.

Bella scowled at them before passing them by, mumbling. "I am not wearing a skirt just to go to a garage."

Misha, Tina and Lulu followed Bella's progressed up her stairs then exchanged silent screams of excitement.

***

Bella did take a bath but she didn't wear a skirt. However, as she parked, she threw a nervous glance at the rearview mirror, checking the lip gloss that she swiped on her lips with and her teeth just in case the chocolate she sneaked out of the numerous boxes decided to make an appearance. She wore her usual get up, a dark green long sleeved T shirt with a tan jacket and blue jeans. Summer or no summer, it was still cold. She stopped at the doorway of the big, wide garage that was simply named, JEQ (Jacob, Embry, Quil) and stood in awe of its size and productivity. There were a lot of cars in it, antiques, expensive cars shared places with sedans and minivans. She recognized one or two of the faces that were washing some of the cars. Charlie had explained to her that Jacob and the boys were taking on more responsibility toward the tribe by giving some high schoolers with jobs outside the rez, and even taking in some in their garage on weekends as part timers. Some people were doubtful about giving their cars under the care of a pack of teenagers but they seemed to be doing well.

Remembering the way Jacob obsessed about machines, Bella was sure that he wouldn't let anyone close to any kind of engine without being absolutely sure that they know what they're doing.

Bella had to grin when Quil appeared out of nowhere and zoomed in immediately at her. "Bella, what a surprise."

Bella pulled out something from her jacket pocket and had him skidding to a stop.

"Is that…?"

"Chocolate chip cookies, especially for you."

Bella let out an oof when he wrapped his arms around in an exuberant hug that lifted her off her toes. "You're—_can't breathe_—welcome."

It wasn't a surprise that when Quil let her down and stepped back from her, the package has removed itself from her hands onto his. Bella shook her head at the excited grin on his face as he opened the foil and sniffed, his eyes closed in ecstasy. She tilted her head when footsteps clattered nearer and nearer and unsurprisingly, Seth, Colin and Brady toppled over each other, a mischievous twist on their lips as they zoned in on the package in Quil's hands. To prevent blood shed, she tossed the keys to the store's delivery van. "Boys, there are still some boxes inside my car, can you take it out, please?"

Seth grinned as he caught it in the air. "Sure, Bella. Come on, guys."

Quil sat on some crates and munched on a cookie, all the while grinning at her in a way that made a slow itching flush creep up her cheeks. "What?"

"Jake's out back."

Bella knew that denying that she was searching for Jake was a useless and stupid endeavor but she wanted to do it anyway because of the way he was smiling at her. But she walked toward the way he pointed, passing through the many engines and machines and people that lifted their heads when she passed by. She had a feeling that as soon as she was out of hearing range, Quil was going to be bombarded by questions.

She poked her head into a section that parted the work area into what seemed to be a communal area, with an office upstairs and a little kitchen underneath it. Couches and sofa's and chairs riddled the room like mushrooms poking out from the ground, worn and awfully comfortably looking. There was even a book rack filled with automobiles models and books about cars that, she laughed, ranged from children's books until the newest automobile magazine. She could see Jacob, Quil and Embry here, resting and goofing off with the pack and their crew. A sudden roar of laughter pricked her attention to a door that went out back and peeked through to see Jacob who was, not surprisingly, bending over a car with five Quileute boys who were grinning at whatever he was saying.

"I'm serious." Jacob added to whatever it was he said that made them laugh. She saw him straighten and place a hand on the hood of the blinding pink sports car he was working on, caressing it like a living thing. "A car," he paused for effect. "is like a woman."

Bella lifted an eyebrow at the serious and heartfelt statement and couldn't help but snicker with the teenagers.

"You mean they're moody, high maintenance and change their minds every freaking second?"

Jacob tsked and sent the boy who said that a pitying glance. "It's that kind of attitude that makes you womanless, Caleb."

Bella rolled her eyes in amusement at the general good humored ribbing. She watched as Jacob swiped a loving hand at the car's paint and bent again under the hood, his arms working and twisting and lifting. "Like women, every car is different but underneath the gloss and glitter, its inner workings are pretty much the same."

Caleb's face, pretty as it was, widened into an unholy grin that had Jacob's hand sneaking out to slap the side of his head to the snickering crowd's amusement.

"I wasn't going to _say_ anything."

"_Any_way," Jacob cut off Caleb's whining, "very much like a woman, if you take care of her, listen to her, pay attention when she tries to tell you something and give her all the lovin'she could handle," Jacob, grinning at the slow chuckles, lifted a finger as if asking for silence then turned the key at the ignition. The engine clicked on with a smooth, sexy feline purr. "You can count on it that she won't let you down."

Amidst the claps and laughter, Caleb scoffed. "Keep your day job, Jacob. You don't know anything about woman."

"And you do?"

"I have five sisters."

"And how old are you?"

"Age doesn't matter in all things concerning knowledge." Caleb said sagely.

Jacob flashed a smirk at the teen. "_Age_ might not matter but experience does and before you say some half-assed witty rebuttal," Bella jolted in place when Jacob lifted his head and looked her way, smiling in an offhand amused manner. "You're not the one who has a girl waiting for you."

She desperately pushed against the sudden urge to tuck tail and run when several pair of eyes swiveled to her.

"Hey, Bells."

She thought that despite the warm and fuzzy feeling she had at seeing him, there should be _some_ bits and pieces of awkwardness left when they actually stood face to face but strangely, there was none.

Zip.

Nada.

"How long have you known I was here?"

"Actually…" He trailed off and sneaked a glance at the pack of teenagers who watched them with interest.

_Right, werewolf senses,_ Bella thought with a scowl. _Probably heard me as I pulled up or smelled me, whatever._

Jacob grinned. "I smell food."

Bella smiled in amusement. "Seth, Colin and Brady are…"

Seth, Colin and Brady ambled in from the side garage door that was wide open, their arms filled with piles of peach colored boxes. "Food."

Bella wasn't at all surprised that Quil appeared at her back and Embry came down the stairs from the office. She rolled her eyes when they looked at her with puppy dog eyes. "Bon appetite."

***

"I will never get use to it."

Jacob, Embry and Quil laughed at the trickle of awe in her voice as she watched them packed food into their stomachs as if the world was ending. She inched away from the office's large glass wall that overlooked the commune place where the crew and .co was annihilating her boxes.

"Stay long enough and you will." Embry patted her on the back in a sympathetic gesture and filched the coffee cup she had in her hands. Bella searched his face for a trace of sarcasm but found none.

Her eyes met Jacob's who smiled at her over his coffee cup.

"What brings you to our humble abode, Bella?" Embry asked while he circled the table they were sitting around and sat at Jacob's right.

Quil scratched his chin. "Don't tell me, you were just passing by…"

She sniffed at the identical sniggers on their faces. "Of course not. I'm here to see Jacob."

_There_, Bella thought while she planted her butt in one of the chairs across from where the boys were sitting, _think about that._

She wondered whether Embry and Quil realized that they were sitting slightly behind Jacob as if deferring to him even in something as small as this.

"Why?" Quil piped out.

Bella stared back, wanting to bristle at the third degree but knowing that she deserved it. She also wanted to say that it was none of their business but really, being pack and best friends that were closer to brothers, she couldn't really bring herself to say that or to laugh the question away. "Because." She wrenched back her coffee cup from Embry and took a sip, she couldn't back down now and in a show of strength, directed her words solely to Jacob. "I wanted to see you."

She ignored the two other men and concentrated on Jacob, the well being feeling she had still flowed strong inside her and she could meet his eyes without flinching or second guessing or doubting herself.

Jacob, who sat watching her with an unnerving still intensity, gave a small nod, and just like that Embry and Quil grinned at her and stood up. They waved and walked out the door without saying another word and she returned her eyes back to Jacob. His eyes were as warm as his smile and even though she couldn't quite put her finger on what had changed, she knew something had, it was as if she felt the sudden loosening of his muscles, heard the breath that was lodged deep inside his chest go out in a sigh. It was embarrassing how she felt eerily in tune with him.

"Are you going to stay a while?"

Bella smiled back. "I might."

To think that after four years they should have a lot to say to one another, but Bella and Jacob merely sat back, sipped their coffee and enjoyed the perfect, easy comfortable moment. The air between them, for once was still of questions and doubts.

Her lips quirked into a smile when she heard him let out a deep, even chuckle. The tilt of her head was question enough and Jacob rubbed a hand over his hair. "I gave you a couple more days, actually."

She blinked, not even trying to misunderstand the statement.

"I just never thought that you'd be the one to come to me, at least, not so soon. Not after last night."

She watched his shifting face. "Is that what it was? You trying to warn me off? To keep me at a distance?"

The hand that held the coffee cup paused in the air before it landed on the table with a soft click. "I kissed you because I wanted to."

Jacob watched her lashes flutter down, her cheeks a dusky rose color. "It does seem like one of those things that would have made me…"

"Run away?"

She grimaced, her eyes meeting his. "That sounds so juvenile."

The smile on his face was ageless but heavy with meaning and perforated the air with the weight of their history. Every conversation they had pulsed in the air as if she could pluck one out and see each word unravel before her eyes.

"I would have, I guess." Bella admitted. "But it just didn't feel…"

The smoke from their coffee cup swirled silently between them in a slow, seductive dance.

"That's what makes it so hard." Jacob met her solemn, vulnerable eyes and waited, waited until she blinked once, twice. Why, he didn't know, he just wanted to see her blink, but instead he saw her as she was that night; soft, warm, trusting in the curve of his arms. "That it didn't feel wrong."

His voice was soft and matter of fact but she felt the impact of each word like a sledgehammer beating away at her heart.

"It doesn't, does it? It never felt wrong."

Jacob and Bella stared at each other, totally at loss about what to do with each other but were secure in the knowledge that they were in it together. When Jacob flipped his hand palm up on the table, Bella slid her palm against his.

Their fingers twisted, threaded, squeezed and held on.


	13. Warning

Warning

"So, you were with Jacob?"

Bella grimaced into her coffee cup at Charlie's casual inquiry, she knew it was coming the second she, also casual-like, mentioned that she went to Jacob's garage but she sure wasn't looking forward to discussing it.

"I went to his garage, yeah." The sheriff office hadn't changed at all, still worn and strangely comfortable with its multiple shades of browns and cream interior.

"Had fun?"

_Had fun?_ Her brow wrinkled, _what did that mean?_ She shrugged. "It was nice, seeing the guys again."

There were moments where Charlie's homely face changed into something more; when he smiled for instance and when he was sliding into sheriff mode like he was doing now. He didn't change a lot, his overall behavior and body language was still relax, oozing _bon homie_ and good cheer…until you look at the eyes. His eyes were all cop and every time she looked at this version of Charlie, she wondered how she could have hid everything that had happened from him.

Even his voice was different; it lowered into a slow rumbling drawl, perfecting the image of small town good natured cop, lulling people into complacency until somebody slipped and told him exactly what he wanted to know. Then he'd pounced.

Bella scratched her chin to distract herself from the sudden urge to confess all when Charlie suddenly aimed those cop eyes at her; amused and disconcerted that Charlie felt the need to interrogate her.

"So you guys are talking to each other again?"

She couldn't stop the wince from passing over her face, feeling somewhat like a second grader. "Quit the act, sheriff. Just tell me what you want to know."

Charlie pursed his lips but then smiled impishly. "He's didn't show any signs that he'll be at the house by midnight to throw rotten eggs at our door, did he?"

Bella grinned. "He's not twelve, dad. And whatever for?"

"I got my ears scalded by Billy for not telling him about you. I figured Jacob would have the same reaction."

She felt a sudden twinge in her chest, if Charlie felt it was hard to keep a secret from Billy and Jacob, Embry and Quil must have had employed some mad skills to hide it from the Pack, considering they shared consciousness and all. She should think of something to show her appreciation since they definitely didn't have any obligation to guard her secret.

"So," He prodded. "You and Jacob."

Bella sighed. "There is no me and Jacob, dad. At least not in the way you mean. We're…"

"Friends?"

It was hard not to agree with the skeptical tone in her father's voice. She shook her head. "Currently, we're…in limbo. We're working on it."

She'd rather meet the black eyes of a thirsty vampire rather than her father's eyes right now, but she met his anyway.

He coughed, shifted on his chair and she just knew they were going to 'talk'. She smothered the tortured groan that rippled inside her chest and slapped an attentive but bland expression on her face.

"Bella," He started. "These last few years, I would very much like to think that you were just going through a phase, a somewhat late teenager thing that I couldn't understand… I'd like to think that it was just infatuation, something that would pass with time. You were young and you _thought_ you were in love which is why it…ended the way it did."

It was hard not to cringe at the image that his words conjured inside her mind; my young, flighty daughter…so much like her mother.

"But no matter how hard I tried to believe that, it wasn't like that, was it?"

She stared at her father's face, spotted new lines and new streaks of grays in his hair and wondered how much of it was because of her. "No, it wasn't."

Charlie sighed. "I've said it often and I'll say it again; The Black's are family and I love Jacob like he is my own son." His lips quirked into a small smile "Nothing would make me happier if you end up together—"

"Dad—"

"I've seen how you were together. I've seen how he was when you were gone."

Bella felt her throat close when Charlie's face crumpled into helpless lines. "He handled it well but he was fooling nobody. Or at least, anybody who once saw you together." He tilted his head. "Of course, the boy had undergone a lot of change anyway and I'm not just talking about how big he is."

Bella let out a small, nervous laugh. _You have no idea, dad._

"I still love your mother." He smiled. "I'm sure you know that."

Bella swallowed, surprised by the sudden change of topic. "Um, yeah."

He slowly nodded, his eyes shifting away from hers. "I'm the last person to tell you that young love doesn't last."

"I know, dad."

A small awkward silence filled Charlie's spacious but lived in office before he sighed and scratched his head. "What I want to say is, be careful, Bella. Just…be careful."

"I will, dad." She promised. _At least, I'll try._

***

Jacob rolled his shoulders and watched as his pack spread and chase each other through the darken trees, melding with shadows that lengthen and dance across the green earth. He watched them in human form as he did for the last few days from the small hill he was sitting on. The pack was too curious and too intrusive for his current state of mind. and he was too restless and distracted to guard his mind. He didn't need to phase to know what they were thinking, the questions were all there in the slide of their eyes.

And he wasn't up to answering them.

He'd stopped dividing personal business and pack business long ago, it was clear to all of them that what influence one will influence all. There was no denying it, and although some of them are quicker to accept it than others, Jacob had to admit that they were a pragmatic lot.

He once thought that being Alpha meant that he was allowed more privacy and could butt his head in any of the pack's private matters because of all the 'one for all and all for one' mentality, now he knew that he was just being naïve. Being Alpha meant that you could do whatever the hell you wanted but it also meant that your actions and your words decided the whole outcome of the pack. Even his state of mind determined their whole vibe and mood so he was dead press on restraining his temper and recklessness while focusing on happy, harmless thoughts. So instead of him nosing in on any of his pack member's business, it was the pack that kept nosing in on his which he knew they would do now since Bella's returnella's return.

Now he understood why Sam always tried so very hard on maintaining his calm and peaceful demeanor. Once, he figured that it was just how Sam was and that it was the result of being the one and only werewolf in the area, but now that Sam was no longer Alpha, he was freer, more outgoing and fiercer than Paul and Quil combined, and that was saying something.

Jacob saw Leah twist when Embry swept a claw at her feet then ram her shoulder into his muzzle, knocking him off his feet. He could almost hear the dutiful ribbing and smiled when Embry snapped his jaws at Seth who jumped over him in a way that was designed to annoy and insult the older pack member.

They were certainly more in tune with each other, worked better with each other, and knew who worked better with whom and in who would do better in what situation, they've been doing this for almost five years, after all.

Everybody felt the change in the pack as soon as he was Alpha, the pack was…not stronger but…more ferocious, yeah, that was the word. Some of the changes were subtler when others were hard to miss. His wolf body grew, as if overnight, his haunches were wider, his shoulders tighter and broader. His paws were _huge_. He was way bigger than Sam now but along with him, several of them grew too. Seth, Colin and Brady also grew. So did Leah, she was longer, leaner. Quil and Embry were not as huge as he and Sam, but was broader as if they packed in more muscle, as did Jared and Paul.

And man, were they faster.

Jacob marveled at how his brothers and sister ran along and around the tight growth of trees as if it was nothing but air at break neck speed.

Their concentration was greater, their reflexes were quicker and to his great surprise, the first time they hunted since he was made Alpha, he didn't even need to think of what to order them. They passed through his mind like a ruffling wind and did what they should without a word exchanged between them. It was as if they had a wordless discussion inside his head and immediately agreed on the same strategy than took off to do it; a process that took a mere second.

He couldn't help but think that the hive mentality could come in handy in dealing with one particular vampire.

They listened more to their wolf instincts and their instincts were sharp. They were mechanical, methodical and certainly more efficient.

They were meaner, too.

When he was in a pissy mood, the pack would stalk their vampire prey with a single minded purpose that was as scary as it was awe-inspiring. The last vampire coven that dared to enter their land was sniffed out, hunted, and turned into a bonfire in a matter of hours.

It bothered him a bit that it seems that the pack had grown a little blood thirsty but hey, it works.

Their human bodies didn't change much, thank God, he didn't need to be any bigger, but their skins were hotter and they healed faster.

Jacob sighed as his pack set off in a set of howls that shivered in the wispy moonlight.

"Alpha."

"I know you call me that just to annoy me.'

Sam smiled his enigmatic smile and stepped out from the shadowing rocks at Jacob's back. "The pack is in a good mood tonight."

"So?" He bit his tongue when his tone turned petulant and defensive. The amused silence that followed didn't help. Jacob kept his eyes on the pack members below when Sam plopped beside him.

"Bella's back."

The steady and bland tone in Sam's voice didn't grate on his nerves, however the implications of his words did. Rather than a harmless statement, it was more of a question and wasn't necessarily about Bella's existence in Forks but more of in his life and through association, their life.

"Yes, she is."

Jacob stared straight into the forest below and so did Sam.

"Do you think that's wise?"

He could lie, or he could tell Sam to mind his own business but he owed the man more than that. "No." He paused, but it rankled so he snapped. "But do you think I have a choice?"

"There is always a choice."

The smile on Jacob's face was grimly amused. "_Really_?"

Sam's dark eyes whipped to him before they snapped back to that imaginary spot that they were staring at before. Jacob could smell the rush of blood that flared up Sam's face, and instantly felt guilty. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend, brother."

Sam maintained his straightforward gaze, as if holding himself in check. Something that Alpha Sam wouldn't have to worry about. Finally, after a heart beat of silence, Sam eased out a long, cleansing breath. "There is always a choice, Jacob. Even…even with imprinting."

Jacob closed his eyes, he really didn't want to hear this, not wanting to add to the pile of secrets that he'd felt bound to keep.

"Imprinting is a force of nature, sure. It's impossible to resist but…" Sam struggled with the words but finally sighed. "I couldn't fight the imprinting and the wolf at the same time. It was…easier." Jacob huffed out a breath, and placed this little tid-bit into the pile in his mind and slammed the vault-like door he put to guard it from the others. He opened his mouth opened then snapped it close with a click of his teeth. His lips pressed into a tight line.

"You disapprove." Sam finally shifted his eyes to him. "You think that I should have fought."

Jacob stayed silent, not really knowing why he was so mad, no, that was a lie. He was angry at the whole destiny, fate crap, he rebelled against the lack of choice, the limitation in their lives. Although he'd learned to accept the wolf, and was always open to his duty toward the tribe, the lines that bordered their freedom were a never ending battle for him. He couldn't understand why Sam couldn't save them the heart break and pain when he actually _could _fight.

"Do you wonder what would happen if you had?"

"Of _course_ I do." The fierce tone in Sam's voice made Jacob looked at him. "Every time I look at her, every time I feel her look at me. Every time my feelings for her come alive inside of me."

Jacob didn't need to ask who 'her' was, and he didn't need to ask whether loving Emily made Sam stop loving Leah.

It didn't and everybody knew it. Leah knew, Emily knew.

"I can't do that." Jacob shook his head. "I would have fought. I have to. Need to."

Sam was quiet then out of the blue, he finally let out a chuckle. "_You_ would." He patted a hand on Jacob's shoulder. "But then again, you are stronger than me."

Their attention returned to the wolves when they let out a continuous bay.

"Only remember what you are." Sam's eyes were dark and inscrutable; they burned in the darkness, his wolf swimming to the surface in answer to the pack's call. "You are Alpha. You are the strength of our people. And we live and die with you."

Jacob watched as Sam launched himself off the hill, phasing in mid-step and the black mountain of his body bounded across the land to join their brothers and sister.

Jacob stayed in place, refusing the invisible pull of his blood that demanded him to phase. He felt the ripples of shock across his spine and ignored the way his blood raged in his veins and the way his stomach twisted and turned. It was with satisfaction that he noted that none of these showed on his body.

Not even the tips of his fingers trembled.

It wasn't until a sufficient length of time passed and his insides quieted that he finally stood and jumped off the hill, phasing seconds before he landed and pounded the ground with great, long, bounding steps, his powerful body lengthening and coiling with each step.

He cantered to a stop before throwing his head back and let out a nerve chilling howl that ripped the still air. It didn't take long for his pack to answer him; he heard the shuffle of their paws, the growl and snap of their jaws and through their eyes, he saw the woods, alive and awake, as they reached to him with their minds in the liquid cadence of the language of their blood.

_You are Alpha. You are the strength of our people. And we live and die with you._


	14. Funny Business

funny business

music: Tap That by Megan McCauley...I couldn't resist.

If there ever was a time where Bella would gladly meet a thirsty vampire…it would be now.

She squinted her eyes over her shoulder when she thought she saw a glint of ebony eyes between the tangled trees behind her but, since the group of male werewolves that were frolicking in the salty ocean waves didn't even pause in their…frolicking, perhaps that was just wishful thinking.

So, she took a deep breath and steeled herself for whatever kind of indignities that she would—and she _knew _she would—experience. Already, she could feel the slow climbing flush that made her cheeks itch, the shriveling twist in her stomach that only mind numbing embarrassment could give.

She cringed at the high, girlish giggle and squeaks that rose alarmingly from the group of females on her left and the blast of patronizing amusement from the one on her right.

All her life, Bella had accepted there were things that she would never ever do or situations that she would never be in. Like her being an astronaut, or a ballerina, or, the more recent expectation that had gone south; a vampire, but among all of those many impossible things,_ this_, this exact moment, this exact _second_ should have been the most impossible of all. It was _so_ impossible, that the chance of it ever happening had never even pass her mind. Hence, she didn't have any defense or strategy to either escape or prevent it.

Bella tried to follow the events that had led to this…this…she didn't even have a word for it, but her mind was a jumbled mess of scattered brain cells. She couldn't quite catch where she went wrong or exactly how this horrifying event came to be.

Her frantic eyes searched wildly for some semblance of reason to hang on to, or a way to escape or a hole to hide herself in but couldn't, even in her desperation, find some small measure of comfort.

She had faced starving vampires for God's sakes, a vampire bitch that was hell bent on choking her with her own intestines, she'd even faced the Volturi and escaped with all her limbs still attached to her body and managed not to be—at least permanently—traumatized.

But now, as her eyes swept over the scene that played before her, she was sure, no, she was _absolutely certain_ that she would be scarred for life.

There was just no getting around it, or denying it.

She was doomed.

She winced when she heard the trails of Lulu's bawdy laughter and pinched the bridge of her nose when Kim's sympathetic eyes met hers.

She flinched when a hand smack her back. "Bella, I totally get it now. Surely hanging out with these boys has ruined you for all other males." Misha flipped her blond hair over her shoulder and—there was no other word for the expression on her face—gawked at Quil, Jacob, Seth, Colin, Brady, Paul and Jared.

"Boys? Some of them are older than you."

Lulu, Misha and Tina ignored her as they had for the half hour they've been here, right after 'the boys' showed up, whooping and hollering while they jumped off the cliff.

"Geez, look at those arms." Tina commented in a dazed tone.

"Whose?" Misha asked without taking her eyes off the—Bella had to admit—impressive display of manhood that the pack represent. As separate entities, they were already attractive but as a group, The Pack was a one two punch combo that wreak havoc to the female hormone.

"Pick and choose, ladies. Pick and choose." Lulu let out a hum of appreciation when Seth drew Jared into a headlock and they wrestled each other into the water; muscles stretching, rippling and gleaming in the afternoon sunlight.

Tina and Misha cackled with glee.

Lulu lifted an eyebrow when Bella gave a tortured groan. "What? I'm old but I'm not blind."

Bella couldn't take it anymore; her face flaming, she jumped to her feet and walked around the bonfire to stand in front of them. "Look, can you tone down the comments? One of them is Kim's boyfriend, and two others are their brothers."

Lulu, Misha and Tina looked at their right where Rachel, Leah and Kim sat. "You girls mind?"

Kim stifled a smile and shook her head, while Rachel and Leah merely stretched their legs and crossed them by the ankles.

"Jacob can handle himself."

"Bout time Seth gets any action."

Lulu shrugged at the girl who stood glaring at them. "They don't mind." She craned her blindingly pink head and shoved Bella's hip. "Move over."

"Yeah, Bella. Move over."

"Or," Tina's face settled on wicked grin. "Do _you_ mind?"

The grin echoed in Lulu's and Misha's face. "Yeah, do _you_ mind, Bella? Is there any reason why _you_ don't want us watching?"

Bella had to restrain the urge to stomp her foot, sure that she would only embarrass herself. "Of course not."

She returned to her seat, crossed her arms and tried to—unsuccessfully—block out their words.

"Alright, I've seen cute and handsome and drop dead gorgeous but there's just something about these guys…"

Lulu nodded in agreement with Tina. "Despite they're all big and deliciously well built."

"Despite that." Misha squinted her pale blue eyes. "They're just _something_, they're just so…"

"_Raw_."

"Hot."

"Wildly sexy."

Bella swept an aghast hand across her eyes. "Guys, shut _up_."

Misha aimed an irritated and bewildered look at Bella's flushed face. "Geez, Bella. It's not like they could hear us."

Bella threw her hands up in exasperation and the three Quileute girls burst to laughter. From the edge of her eyes she saw The Pack grin at each other. "Fine, whatever. Do your worst."

"Thank you kindly." Lulu sipped on the hot cocoa that she brought and sent a pitying yet patronizing look over the rim of her thermos cup. "You'll understand when you're older, Bella."

Bella gnashed her teeth and ignored their shrill—well, it's not really shrill at all but it just sounded that way to her ears—giggles.

"Oh. _Oh_. Wow."

"Oh, _man_."

"_God_."

Bella could've ignored those comments if not for the collective and almost awed silence that followed them. The Three, as she and her other staff called them, were rarely left speechless, so curious, she lifted her eyes from the harmless doodles she was drawing on the sand and felt her heart leaped inside her chest.

Jacob resurfaced from an enthusiastic dunking by Quil and Seth, laughing; water slid against his tight reddish skin, across the broadness of his shoulders, dripped from the bead necklace that she gave to flow on muscles and sinew and path a way against the angles and clefts of his naked chest to pool on the top of the beach shorts that hung low at his hips. Drops of water caught and reflected the burning shades of the dying sun across the horizon; highlighting and strengthening the beautiful color of his skin, casting him in a sillhoutte of bone and muscle.

Bella watched as Jacob raised his hands to slick his hair back, enhancing the sharpness of his cheekbones and the depth of his dark eyes. She watched the slow, liquid gesture that drew attention to the powerful lines of his body, the flow of muscles on his back, his tightness of his abs, his shoulders, his arms and finally, his undeniably pretty chest.

Bella's mouth dried.

When Jacob's wide and even lips curved into a slow, wicked smile, she sucked in a breath at the sudden onslaught of sense memory of how those lips felt on her mouth, on her skin.

"Bella, you've known Jacob since, what, highschool, right?"

As distracted as the voice that asked her, Bella only managed a, "Uh-huh."

"Have you ever...?"

"What?" She asked, her mind a mile away but the question niggled at her mind. "What?" She frowned when the implication finally bombed her distraction. "_What_?"

Her face heated up when she met The Three's expectant gaze and paled when she met—_God_—Rachel's inquisitive gaze. "I don't...I'm_ not_...What kind of a question is that, anyway?"

She couldn't lookat the Pack, much less at Jacob.

Lulu pursed her lips. "It's a perfectly logical question considering how you two can't take your eyes off of each other."

Her face felt like she took a blow torch to it and she gritted her teeth. "We do _not_-" She broke off at the look that The Three were giving her and ignored the other three girls that were giving her an equally bland stare. "There is nothing logical about that question at all."

Bella whipped her eyes away from The Three but only found that she had to ripped her eyes from the Pack who were trying to not look like they were listening but failed miserably. Mortified, she met the humoring stares of the _other_ three girls then settled for glaring at the sand.

"You're right." Misha agreed. "There's nothing logical about sexual tension at all."

She hissed and crossed her arms. "I am _not _going to discuss this here."

"Will you discuss it when we're back in the shop?"

She glared at Tina who beamed innocently at her and ignored Rachel's snort.

"I am not going to discuss this _ever_."

The Three stared at her for a full minute. She stared back.

A white wash of waves licked the sand.

"Oh, yeah." Lulu nodded to her partners in crime. "She'd tapped that."

"Oh my God." Bella could only cover her face as Lulu, Misha and Tina exchanged high fives and bumped fists, clenched her eyes tightly when Rachel and Leah and Kim slid off their log and howled—ha ha—with laughter. A peek showed her that The Pack was also laughing their asses off although only a trickle of their laughter reached where their stood. She saw that Jacob was also laughing and could only wince when he covertly winked at her.

"We _didn't_, okay. There was no...tapping or whatever." Her desperate denial made the Quileute girls snicker while The Three from Hell—she was going to call them that from now on—merely looked at her for a beat before returning their attention to the guys.

"Hmm...how much do you think Jacob bench presses?"

"I don't know." Misha made a show of thinking the question over before sending a sly sidelong glance at Bella. "Bella, how much do you weigh?"

Snorts of laughter spread around the bonfire.

"I am not even going to dignify that with an answer."

When they shrugged, Bella thought that the discussion was over and blew out a relieved breath.

She should've known better.

"If you haven't, you should."

"Oh my God." She dropped her head in defeat at Misha's voice.

"I'm serious. It'll help."

"With _what_?"

"With all the unresolved sexual tension." Tina answered blithely before narrowing her eyes to slits. "At least it'll help _us_."

"What do _you_ have to do with it?" Bella snarked. Really, it was too much.

Misha rolled her eyes. "Oh, Bella. Sometimes, it's hard to think that you're actually older than me. Of course it'll help us."

She should stop this, she really should, but she couldn't help it. Her temper was bubbling over and she couldn't help but challenge. "How so?"

Misha passed the baton to Tina who was only too glad to take it. "Bella, everytime you guys are together, you guys practically sizzled and it's leaking to all of us. It's like a freaking hot zone whenever you two are together in one place. Just looking at you guys _looking _at each other makes me hot."

Bella blinked at the rising frustration on Tina's face and at Leah's muttered 'hallelujah'.

"You know what happened yesterday?" Tina demanded, her tapered fingers slashing the air between them.

"Uh, no."

"I made out with _Brian_. _That's_ what happened. And it's all _your_ fault."

Surprised, tickled (Lulu and Misha were laughing their asses off) but also baffled, Bella stared at the girl. "Why is it my fault?"

"Because!" She huffed out a breath. "It was after Jacob dropped in two days ago and we had a late dinner at your place and then you guys washed the dishes."

Now Bella was just confused especially when Lulu and Misha had a 'oh yeah' look on their faces, she waited for an explanation but none came so she asked the question that she would never have thought to say to anybody.

"Watching us wash dishes make you hot?"

"I think you should get her far, far away from kitchen detail." Rachel grinned and munched on a cream puff. Leah snorted. Kim giggled.

Tina spared them an exasperated glance before focusing back on Bella. "It wasn't the washing the dishes part. It was _how_ you were that night. You were all over each other."

Righteous indignation speared through the embarassment. "We were _not_."

"Not physically but..but.." Tina's hand fluttered in front of her. "You guys kept bumping against each other; your shoulders, your hands, everytime you moved, Jacob was there. Every time he needed something, you already reached for it. When you're out of the room, he squirmed in his seat then left of to find you and when you met in the middle of the room you guys do the sidestepping thing. He watched you when you weren't watching, you watched him when he weren't watching. And then, and then. " Tina paused to catch a breath and pointed an accusatory finger at Bella. "You guys _washed the dishes_."

She blurted the last sentence with the kind of tone that some people would use to say '_mind numbing-sheets burning-going on for days-hot and sweaty animal sex'_, which of course, made Bella even more confused, she of all people would know if there was any kind of sex involved.

Bella also knew, without even looking, that Tina's long, rambling speech had caught the full of attention of anybody within hearing range, including the werewolves within the crowd. She could feel their eyes on her and it rose the fine hairs on the back of her neck.

But as she remembered the night in question, she—sort of—began to understand what Tina meant but there was no way she'd admit that. She pressed her lips together and lifted her chin. "I have no idea what you're trying to say."

Tina let out an aggravated sound and pulled at her hair. "You guys _stood_ there, over the sink, shoulder to shoulder, in your own private little world. You guys didn't even talk to each other, instead, you guys just sort of..._burn_. In place."

The snicker in Bella's face trembled but held. "Burn in place...?"

Tina glared at her. "You know what I'm talking about."

If she was honest, she actually did.

She remembered that it was really hard to maintain a straight face as they stood there, in the room where Jacob did a number on her senses only a weekend ago. Not to mention with him being so close that she could feel the heat of his skin reaching out to hers, warming her from the outside while the silent, movement of his hands against the plates and the water made her remember how they had felt upon her skin, warming her from the inside. She remembered the jump of her pulse everytime his fingers grazed hers when she passed him something to rinse, her body on auto pilot, her senses painfully in tune with the man standing beside her. She remembered how she could barely concentrate when he stretched and ducked to put everything in their place, the warmth that twisted her heart when she realized he actually did it exactly the way she liked it, that he remembered how.

And the sheer embarassment and vicious vexation she felt when she saw that Jacob was as relaxed as she was frazzled.

"After watching you guys dance all over each other, I was just...Brian was there...and we looked at each other and just pounced...oh God, it's so embarassing."

Bella was glad that someone else, and not her, felt some sort of embarassment so she latched on to the humor and grinned at Tina who, lifted her dark beady eyes and skewer her with a look which only made the others laugh even more.

She winced when Tina opened her mouth and cut her off. "Why are you guys here anyway? Who's guarding the store if you guys followed me here?"

Lulu rolled her eyes. "Oh, _now_ she asks." The older woman shrugged. "It's about time the second shift spread their wings. You have to relinquish control some time, especially with the summer crowd coming in. Might as be well now."

Bella frowned. "Then who's manning the oven?"

"My most brilliant apprentince of course."

"Misha's here."

Misha preened at the unintentional praise.

Lulu clucked her tongue. "No. No. Misha is my most prettiest yet also brilliant apprentince."

Tina smirked at Bella baffled expression. "You totally forgot Damien's return date, huh?"

"Damien's back?"

"Hm, what do you think?" Lulu slid a sly glance to Tina and Misha who grinned unabashly. "Will Dami be more upset that she forgot his return date or that he's suddenly replaced in Bella's affections."

Bella stiffenned in her seat and struggled not to wince, especially when, from the edge of her eye, she saw the wolves turned to look at her except for one particular exception, which worried her even more. "Ha ha. Very funny."

Misha pursed her lips. "How do you think Dami will react when he meets Jacob?"

Tina pressed a finger on her chin while Lulu smirk. "I don't care as long as I have a front row seat."

"Dami is a _friend_."

"So is Jacob." Tina pointed out.

"It's nothing like that."

"With Jacob or with Dami?"

Bella gritted her teeth than dug her butt on the ground. "Whatever. You guys are going to believe what you want to believe anyway."

"Although, you know, Dami could also be described as my prettiest and most brilliant apprentince." Lulu absently commented which made Tina and Misha laugh.

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "The guy's pretty?"

"Oh _my_, child. Pretty as a flower. Thick dark curly locks, deep green eyes with gold flecks. Tall and long and lean and has the prettiest smile complete with dimples. It melts the heart it does."

"And melt panties off a girl just as easily." Misha chimed in and made Rachel cackled.

"You do have the most interesting people around you, Swan." Rachel commented.

"Including you?" Bella sulked.

"Naturally."

"He does sound pretty." Leah's lips pursed. "Too pretty."

"Oh no." Lulu batted her eyelashes. "Believe me, Dami can be a complete devil if he wants to."

Leah sniffed and struggled but the urge to defend her Alpha and his territory was too strong. She was disgusted with herself but couldn't help herself when she proclaimed with a smirk, "Bet Jacob could take him."

The Three grinned and Bella stared at her.

She raised an challenging eyebrow. "He could."

"And with that, we're off." Lulu picked up her thermos and thrust the empty boxes and paper cups into a plastic bag.

All of them jolted in place when a deep voice greeted Lulu's announcement. "You're leaving?"

Bella stifled a grimace when Jacob stepped close and stood in front of her. She passed him a towel which he used to dry his face and hair.

"Yeah, we have a shift change." Tina grinned brightly at him when he nodded.

Bella ran her fingers in her hair when Jacob's dark eyes swept her face. "I'm catching a ride with them."

"It's early."

"I promised Charlie dinner." She tried a casual shrugged. "I only see him once a week now, might as well cook for him, too."

Jacob picked up his T-shirt from the pile of multi-colored T shirt that Leah, Kim and Rachel brought from the cliffs and shrugged into it. "I'll take you."

Bella tried very hard to ignore the wiggle of eyebrows and the grins on her friends faces. "Jake-"

"They have to double back if they drive you. I'll take you."

"You don't have to."

"I know I don't have to. I want to." He caught the keys that Rachel threw at him. "We'll drive to my house first so I can change."

"Did you hear that, Bella?" Tina nudged her and muttered under her breath. "He _wants_ to."

For the first time in her life, violence felt like a pretty good idea.


	15. Tease

**Comfort**

_One of the things that Jacob is really, really good at, is driving me crazy_, Bella thought as she scowled at the blurry view out the window.

He could do it with a look in his eyes in the middle of an argument, a much too innocent curve of his lips, a casually tossed comment over his shoulder, a long level gaze from across the room or a slow lingering fingertip at the back of her hand.

He could do it as easily as breathing.

So, when he turned on her with the single-minded determination and intense focus that she knew him for and actually _sought_ to drive her crazy, Bella could only brace for the whirlwind of emotion that he caused in her.

First of all, there was the silent drive from the beach to his house that she spent agonizing over whether to apologize for her friends' comments or to explain about the Damien thing but then again, she knew that Jacob wouldn't feel anything but amusement over her friend's comments whereas the Damien thing, well, it wasn't even like that between her and Damien. He was her friend and one of her trusted staffs. Explaining it would seem like she was making a big deal out of it, or worse, admitting guilt.

Which is even more ridiculous.

Jacob being so silent only amplified the churning guilt that turned her stomach and the few minutes it took for them to arrive at his house, her restless mind had turned that guilt into resentment.

To make things worse, her hope for a quick escape was crushed when she saw Charlie's truck in the driveway.

Then, as she puttered around the kitchen to cook dinner for the Black men and her father—Rachel seemed to be MIA, at least she could be grateful for that—Jacob seemed hell bent on distracting her. She could feel his eyes on her back when he'd padded in, fresh from a shower smelling of water and soap, to get a drink from the fridge. Bare-footed and bare-chested, he'd circled around her, not actually touching, but it was as if she could feel him moving around behind her back; opening and closing closets as he went about his usual business of finding something to munch on.

She'd seethed and hunched her shoulders when she felt his eyes on her, felt the prickles of heat of his stare that she couldn't make herself turn around. Then, _then_, as if she wasn't frazzled enough, Jacob had surprised her by leaning down and scraping his teeth gently over the sensitive skin of her nape. His hot breath fluttering her hair as he nuzzled her neck.

Can anyone blame her when she dropped the skillet that she was holding into the sink where it clattered loudly?

When Charlie had poked his head in to see what the racket was all about, Jacob was on the other side of the kitchen looking as innocent as a lamb. She could only grit her teeth when Charlie shook his head and mumbled about his 'sweet, clumsy daughter'.

Dinner had continued like that, where Jacob would go from acting like she wasn't there then focusing on her like she was the only person around.

When their fathers sat on the porch to play a game of cards, Bella had settled in front of the TV, a past time that she had learned to appreciate at the end of her long hours in the store as she got ready for bed, Jacob joined her, slouching lazily on the floor against the loveseat sofa she was sitting on. His wide shoulder pressed against the length of her right calf, spreading heat across her skin. Stubbornness, pride and irritation made her refuse to move away although every inch of her was tense, waiting for him to...well, _do_ something but minute by minute, she relaxed at what looked like truce between them.

She couldn't have been more wrong.

It didn't take long for her to notice that somehow, Jacob had slouched even lower and had inched his shoulders under her knee so that her right calf was no longer pressed along his arm but was in the awkward position of hanging over his shoulder. Bella could only blink when he braceleted her ankle with his fingers, playing with the soft skin there with slow, languid strokes that made frissurs of heat climb up and down her leg.

It was certainly the wrong time to wear a skirt.

At first, she thought that he was just being Jacob who could never be around her without some sort of physical contact. It was actually something that she depended on, something that she expected from him, it went as far as she felt something was wrong if he _wasn't_ touching her, so she tried to relax and funny enough, succeeded.

Something about the way he was touching her, the heat of his skin against hers, the soft brush of his damp hair against her knee made her feel sleepy and she'd sunk further into the comfortably worn sofa, her eyes drooping heavily.

Then the touch changed, she didn't know what precisely about it that changed, she only knew that it had. The sweep of his fingers was still lazy but instead of making her feel comfortable and pampered, she felt long liquid pulls that tighten her stomach. She bit her lip when his thumb brushed the back of her knee than swept down the length of her calf in one smooth stroke that ended at her toes that she—and Lulu, and Misha and Tina—had painted silver with glittery undertones.

Her eyelashes fluttered close when he rubbed his cheek against her calf and she could feel the solidness of his cheekbones, the valley of his cheek and the strength of his jaw.

His eyelashes tickled her skin when he pressed his mouth to a spot just under her knee.

The moist heat of his mouth made her spring up from the sofa like a hyperactive jack-in-a-box. When she heard his low, deep chuckle, she ignored him.

She had proceeded to ignore him after thet and ran around him whenever he was near but although she felt his eyes on hers, he hadn't gone near her after that either. When he saw her glare at him over their father's heads, he merely gave her a distracted smile before taking her earlier seat and flipped over channels.

She was doing a pretty good job of warily avoiding Jacob without being obvious, an amazing feat considering the size of Jacob's living room and the perceptive gazes of their fathers, but fate had conspired against her. Charlie suddenly had to get to town to handle a robbed liquor store and left her, muttering all the while about stupid teenagers, in the tender mercies of Jacob who flashed her a grin that made her suspect that maybe he had somehow orchestrated this to happen.

So, here she was, trapped inside a car with Jacob whose quicksilver moods kept changing and she was hard pressed to keep up with all of them.

"What?"

She scowled at him. "What, what?"

A small smile curved his lips. The headlight of a passing car highlighted his dark eyes and made them glow as she glanced at her. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you're expecting me to bite you."

Irritated beyond belief, her scowl deepened. "Well, are you?"

The laugh that rumbled in the darkness of the car made her cross her arms and slouch further in the seat of Jacob's snarling black Impala, all the while convincing herself that she didn't look like a petulant child.

The first two years where she had stumble alone without the two men that had sustained her was lonely, miserable, desperate. But she came through by sheer force of will, something that she realized she had in abundance now, and the hope that someday she could meet them again on a, at least close enough, level ground.

She found something of herself, saw something of herself and tried to know more of herself in the process.

Two more years passed by and she had friends now, a business of her own. A life of her own.

True, those friends were actually her staff and that her business _was_ her life but, it was progress.

Life was sweet...

...and predictable.

Now life had returned Jacob into her path, and she knew nothing will ever be predictable again.

Not because of the werewolf thing but because Jacob was...Jacob.

And she didn't know how she felt about it.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Jacob's big hand changed gears and she followed the length of his arms to land on his face, ignoring the flutter in her chest as it did. His had always been a handsome face but it was more than that now that he'd grown into it. Not with age but with experience, with knowledge. There had always been something in Jacob's young eyes, put in there by the lost of his mother, the responsibility instilled by his father, the responsibility _of_ his father and the caring warmth that was his heart. But now there was more; duty, obligation not only to his family but also to his tribe, the responsibility of being the son of his father and the knowledge of who he was as a whole; the identity of his tribe, the identity of his ancestors, the identity of _who_ he was and knowing his place in the world.

All of those had added to the amiable handsome face; wisdom, bone deep confidence, and the strength of heart that could light fire in others.

She sort of envied that about him.

To know where you belong, to know exactly where your place is in the world is a powerful thing.

She didn't envy what follow it though.

She sneaked a glance at the man who sat beside her, watched the easy way he sat, all repressed energy and silent movements. Watched the hands that slid against the steering wheel with careless grace.

"Are you cold?"

She blinked at him. "Mmmm?"

His dark eyes returned to hers. "Are you cold? Do you want me to put the windows up?"

She rubbed her arms. "No. No. It feels good."

And it did, the wind felt good against her warm cheeks, at least she had a reason why her cheeks were flushed. Not that he noticed. He seemed busy with his own thoughts as he drove with one hand on the steering wheel, the other hand folded on the open window. Bella's eyes flirted with the end of his pony tail and felt her heart warmed with memories.

Jacob was comfort.

Jacob was love in its simplest of forms...

...which was why it was also the strongest of its kind and the hardest to get over.

They had met when they were barely out of childhood, had befriended each other, had ached with each other, ached _for_ each other, had fallen in love and had broken each other's hearts in what had felt like a lifetime but was in reality, just a few short years. Barely two.

It was amazing how a lot of things could happen in such a short time.

People could wait for a life time to experience what she had, would search just as long, if not longer, for what she had found.

A soul mate. The truest of loves.

She had found both it her eighteenth year.

And she had found not one...but two.

That would teach her to be an overachiever.

Jacob glanced at the girl—she was just so little—beside her when she let out a muffled frantic giggle, felt more than saw the smile that lifted the corner of her lips. Bella's moods was a tangible thing for him, it was a vibration in the air, a tingle on his skin.

And her mind was a constant stream inside his head.

It was a point of pride for him that he could follow her thoughts by the twitch of her lips, the line between her brows or the depth of her eyes.

He knew it irritated her and knew it bothered her vampire even more; how he could take a glance at her face and translate all of her jumbled thoughts into semblance of reason. Sometimes he didn't need to think about it, sometimes he looked at her and just understood, as if her thoughts had leaped inside his head to masquarade as his own.

And boy, did he love to look at how the vampire had struggled with the knowledge that although he was the one with the mind reading powers, it was actually he, Jacob, werewolf, _dog_ that had access to her mind.

It was almost enough to make him pity the vampire.

Almost. After all, didn't he get the girl?

Or so he thought.

She shifted in her thin green long sleeve shirt and he breathed in the smell of strawberries, sugar and sea.

Again, that one question niggled inside his mind and demanded to be asked. _What happened, Bella? What happened with you and the vampire?_

Even in his most blackest of moods, his most pitiful of conditions, the thought that somehow, the vampire had stopped loving Bella had never crossed his mind.

Jacob could give him that, acknowledge that his love for Bella was strong and true.

Which is why he didn't damn all and rip out the vampire's throat the first chance he got.

People don't just get over something like that.

_He_ tried.

And even at his most bitter or most hopeful, he knew that Bella's love for Edward, was also just as true. Just as strong.

Something must've had happen.

The curiosity burned inside his mind like acid but he couldn't make himself ask. Afraid, afraid that if she said it out loud, she would somehow realize that it was all a mistake, or that she'd find something in his words, in his demeanor that will solve whatever problem there was between the two of them.

And she would leave him again.

Losing her once had almost killed him.

If he lose her again, he might not survive.

_Stupid drama queen_, he rolled his eyes as soon as the thought formed inside his mind. _Of course you'll survive. Haven't you survived every bad thing that had happen in your life? You're a survivor, that's what you do. You survive._

_No one dies of a broken heart, _he chastised himself.

_Yeah, but no one really lives, either._

He scowled at the smart ass voice that appeared out of nowhere inside his mind. Worried about it since it sounded too much like Quil.

A glance told him that Bella was sulking again but he didn't really care, he liked it when she sulked, especially if it was because of him.

There was just that small part of him that relished the fact that he could.

He lifted a hand and ran his palm down the length of her arm and felt satisfaction shot throught him when she shuddered. "You're cold. Close your window."

"No."

He returned his hand to the gearstick and didn't comment or react to the snap in her voice. He settled more comfortably in his seat and enjoyed the silent bubbling of her temper, imagining of creative ways to either rebuff or heighten it.

Bella seethed, his obliviousness of her temper spiked her anger with resentment because of the easy way he stroke her arm and made goosebumps ran up down her skin.

The car had hardly stopped when she got out and slammed the door, barely remembering to toss out a 'see you when I see you' over her shoulder.

"You're so cute when you're angry."

She jolted and dropped her keys when his voice crept to her ears. She should've known that Jacob wouldn't leave her there, and if she was honest, she was expecting that he wouldn't. Her breath caught in her throat when his hand pulled her back, his T shirt brushing down her leg when he bent to pick the keys up from the porch floor.

"Aren't you going to ask me in?"

"Since when do you need permission to come in? You've been in an out of this house more often that I have."

She felt rather than saw him shrug.

Bella kept her hand on the doorknob and dropped her eyes. "I don't think so."

She kept her eyes down when the silence stretched.

"I missed that."

She felt him stepped closer, felt the heat radiating from his skin through air and her own clothes. "What?"

He'd turned her toward him and lifted her chin. Bella's eyelashes fluttered down at the look on his eyes but stubborness forced her to stare right back at them.

"Seeing you blush."

Her breath hitched when his thumb pressed against her bottom lip.

When their lips touch, it was with a sigh, a breath, a whisper.

Barely touching, Jacob's lips skimmed her lips from one corner to the other, and thousands of pulse points awaken at the gentle touch in between, filling up the pockets inside her that had remained empty for some time.

_Breath for breath, pulse for pulse._

A quote from one of Christina Rosetti's sonnettes floated inside her mind like feathers.

She made a sound at the back of her throat when his lips heated and when her eyes drifted open, her heart jammed against her ribs when she saw his dark eyes were also open; intent on her face.

She felt the door at her back and opened her mouth to say… _something_. They were on her father's porch, for God's sake where Charlie or anyone can see them, her mind flinched at the possibility of small town gossip.

But Jacob was having none of that.

He curved his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, arching her body to his. Lifting her up to her toes.

Her heartbeat pounded in his ear, urging him on and he ducked his head to the soft skin behind her ear and nuzzled. The muscles of his back tightened when he felt the sharp bite of her fingernails on his skin.

It had always given him a kick to find that he could draw a reaction from her, emotionally or physically. The emotional stuffs; how she couldn't bare to hurt him, how it always seem like she was hurting herself when _he_ was hurting, it was a cool balm to the ache in his heart but the physical stuff? That was just..._awesome_.

Glee streaked his heart every time she turned, spotted him and couldn't help but smile when he did. Pleasure spread through his body whenever he heard her heart beat jumped and sped up when he was near. When her scent thickened as her body heat elevated, it made him break into sweat.

It was one of the reasons why he was so adamant on pursuing her.

He tightened his arms around her and cradled her close, realigning their bodies until not even air could get between them. A sound of greed ripped out of his chest to tremble deep in his throat when she let out a small, helpless gasp that scraped at his insides. "_God_, Bella."

"You drive me crazy." He ran his mouth up her throat, nipped her chin, twisted his fingers in her hair and kissed her long and deep.

He heard her say something against his lips but was distracted by the feel of her hands in his hair that was somehow loose from the rubber band that held it together.

Bella struggled to clear her thoughts but they seeped out of her head as his mouth pressed against hers, her hands already creeping up to touch skin. She arched when his hands swept inside her jacket, a brushing heat along her spine that made her bit his bottom lip, drawing a heated moan from Jacob.

She was suffocating in his heat, overwhelmed by the sheer size of him. His wide shoulders threw her into shadows and the posessive strength of his arms excited and alarmed her, adding a dark layer to all the scalding pleasure.

Jacob shuddered at the quick bite of her fingernails on his shoulders and wished, for the very first time, that he didn't heal so fast. Surely, whatever mark Bella would leave on his body, he would gladly wear it, although, it would be pretty sticky when he spent time around the pack.

The thought was enough to make him draw back, it he took things further, he wasn't sure that he could block out his memories when he phased. He wasn't sure if he could as it was.

It was with great regret and even greater frustration that Jacob lifted his head.

His breath in tatters, he nodded. "You're right. I shouldn't come in."

"Huh?"

"Here. Let me get that for you." Jacob picked up the keys that had once again dropped from her fingers and unlocked the door.

Taking a long, calming breath, Jacob tried to wipe the grin of his face when Bella merely stared blankly at the opened door, the one that she was dead set on slamming in front of his face not a few minutes ago. "You should go in."

Breathing hard, Bella blinked blearily at Jacob before returning to the door, her brain still a pile of mush. "Huh?"

She looked so cute that Jacob had to drop a few kisses on her lips as he manuvered her inside. "Bells." Kiss.

"Hm?" Kiss.

"Who's Damien?" Long, deep kiss.

"Damien?" Kiss. "Who?" Nibble. "Huh?"

Jacob grinned against her collarbone and after schooling his face, at least making it look less smug, he gave a last nip on her top lip then smiled gently down into her blurry brown eyes. He shoved his tingling hands down his jeans pockets and with what he considered as Herculean effort, took two, very wide, very deliberate, steps back. "Nevermind. Good night, Bells."

"Hm?" A frown decorated her forehead. "'Key."

Jacob covered the laugh as a cough when Bella merely stood inside the house and stared uncomprehendingly all around, as if she wasn't quite what she was suppose to be doing, or where she was or _who_ she was.

His ego shot through the stratosphere.

Jacob nudged her further into the foyer, smiled and closed the door. Just incase, he locked the door with the key that Charlie had given him a year ago. He listened in a few seconds and whistled his way down to his car.

He was halfway out the driveway when he heard the sharp intake of breath and the stomping of her little feet. The door sprang opened but he was already speeding away.

When she ground out his name, her blush a healthy glow on her face, he grinned and waved cheerfully to her.

For the second time that day, Bella found violence to be a pretty good answer to her problems.


	16. Decisions

When you mess with people that you care about, you tend to mess yourself up in the process.

But, he rubbed a hand over his mouth, he couldn't seem to regret it. He glanced at the rear view mirror and saw the grin he had on his face which only made him grin even wider. He chuckled when he remembered the expression on Bella's face,_ man, she was pissed._

Then another expression of hers popped in his mind; her mouth bruised, her eyes dark, her face flushed.

He shifted on his seat and rolled the window open, gulping in the cool night air.

Jacob shook his head to clear the haze that covered his mind but every time he moved, every time he _breathed_, her scent tangled in his lungs, tightening his muscles. The taste of her was still thick on his tongue; ripe, hot and sweet.

An image of the flush that climbed slowly up her collar to her cheeks, a flash of how it would look on her entire body, under his hands made him press harder on the gas pedal.

He whipped through the slick night roads and arrived in his driveway in record time.

Jacob winced when he heard the very unlady-like curses that spewed out of his sister's mouth as she gave their old TV a few love taps.

Rachel and technology does not suit.

"Geez, Jake. Why can't you buy something new? It's not like you can't afford it."

"I'm sentimental."

"Stingy bastard." Finally, Rachel's dark eyes shifted from the TV to her brother, scrutinizing him as he ducked inside the fridge. Jacob was uncomfortably suspicious that she could see the X rated thoughts that riddled his head just a few seconds ago.

"What took you so long?"

He ignored the loaded question and reached for a beer. "Where's dad?"

"Asleep."

"His back still bothering him?"

"Yeah, but he pretended it didn't."

"Stubborn old man."

Jacob's dark eyes weighed his sister's focused face and decided that escape was not an option.

"Did you have sex with her?"

Jacob choked and coughed his protest, with teary eyes he gaped at his sister. "Christ, Rach. What kind of a question is that?"

Rachel merely strode to him and smacked his back hard, stared at her stinging hand and frowned at him. "Why her, Jake?"

Jacob drew a breath. "Rach-"

She lifted a hand. "I'm serious. I'm not acting out on some kind of dutiful sister obligation here. I see that you love her but I also see dad's face, Leah's, everybody's face when her name pops out in a conversation. Every body tip toes around you and hold their breaths whenever someone mentions her name--"

The wrinkles on her forehead deepened. "I don't know the whole story but I know it was bad. I only need to see you--" She huffed out a breath and shifted her feet. "I don't want to see you get hurt, that's all." She finished lamely.

Touched but also irritated, Jacob sighed and merely let the silence stretched on.

"Well," She shrugged. "I'm going to bed. You?"

"Patrol."

She nodded before turning.

"Hey, Rach."

Rachel stopped at the tentative tone in Jacob's voice and looked over her shoulder.

"She loves me too."

Something shifted inside of Rachel's chest; worry laced with sadness. "Yeah. I saw that too." Because he looked like he needed it, she moved her lips into a smirk. "Why do you think I haven't ripped off her arms and beaten her with them?"

He snorted. "Nice. Graphic."

She continued walking. "Night baby bro."

Rachel hadn't been gone for two minutes when Leah cantered in, Jacob suspected it was his day of being nagged by the women in his life.

He lifted his brows at the sight of her. It wasn't the black sports bra or the black faded shorts, it was her new hairdo.

Leah's hair was a sassy black cap on her head, short spikes stuck on the top, the cut emphasized all the sharp angles of her face and her big golden eyes.

"Soon, you won't have any hair left."

Her feet didn't stop until she was in the kitchen with him. It was a worrying habit with all the werewolves.

First stop; kitchen.

She ran a hand over her head, messing it up. "Got tired out of picking out dead leaves and sticks out of it."

He pressed his lips together and didn't comment. He knew why she kept cutting her hair shorter and shorter. He knew she knew that he knew, so he kept his mouth shut.

Sam loved her hair and it pricked Sam's heart to see her cut it.

Jacob couldn't quite disapprove of her cheap, spiteful shots. Didn't he do exactly the same thing?

She needed to get her fun from _somewhere_.

Jacob winced when she froze and sniffed, turning to him in a sharp almost too fast movement for his eyes to follow. "She's on your skin."

_Crap, I knew I should've showered._ "I think the appropriate term for that is _under_ your skin."

She leaned closer and sniffed. "She's not only on your clothes. Her scent is on your skin." She lifted her eyes to stare at him. "Did you--?"

"Why the sudden interest with my sex life?"

"It's not some sort of morbid curiosity, I just don't want to have some stray image of you doing the naked tango with Bella Swan, alright?" She paused then grimaced as something occurred to her. "Or dreaming of _myself_ doing the naked tango with her." She shuddered. "Ugh."

Leah narrowed her eyes on the blank expression on Jacob's face, unusually knowledgeable about the twisted minds of men, she kicked his shin. "Men are pigs."

Jacob crossed his legs at the ankles and chuckled, remembering Leah's violent reaction to each and every sex fantasy that had leaked into her mind. Not that he enjoyed peeking into the frenzied mind of their brothers, but it was worse for her.

He sympathized with Leah whenever Seth projected some visually graphic fantasy of his and then he would sympathize with Seth whenever Leah socked him on the stomach.

He was especially grateful that he had never had to endure Sam's thoughts on Emily. Somehow that was equivalent on seeing his parents...his mind shied away from that train of thought. He caught sight of Leah rummaging for food, very, very grateful that I never had to endure that.

Leah was still a bitch, no pun intended, sharp tongued and ruthless especially when riled, she still didn't quite belong and Jacob was doubtful if she ever would.

Being the only female werewolf in the history of their tribe wasn't quite an accomplishment as some would think. He knew she felt more like a freak than any of them. An outcast. An intruder.

Like being a werewolf isn't enough weirdness to handle for a lifetime, she had to be the only one of her kind.

Then to add insult over injury, the pack alpha was her ex boyfriend who had thrown her over for her cousin.

It wasn't enough that Sam had betrayed her, Emily had also turned her back on her.

If Jacob hated the lack of privacy, the lack of choice. Leah had resented it and he couldn't blame her.

She no longer had any place for delicacy in her life, not even illusion of one; her mind, her body, her feelings, her life was an open book to any of them.

They tried to give her space, especially in phasing. It was made even more awkward as Sam bristled every time one of them caught even a glimpse of her, and he knew some of those random accidental phasing were not quite so random and not quite so accidental every time spite overrode her embarrassment.

Leah and Jacob had their bad patches but he understood, really, he did. Of all people, he knew that Leah had understood his pain better than most. It was one of the reasons why he tried so hard to be nice to her, not just because of the connection between two broken hearts but also because of guilt; he knew why Leah had poked and prodded his wounds, because feeling his pain had abraded her own wounds.

It was like seeing herself, bleeding and broken, pathetically hurt, rejected, _weak_. Seeing him like that was a blow to the face that made her _screw you_ attitude which she wrapped around herself to deal with the pity, the pain, the snickers behind her back, cracked and crumbled beneath her feet.

His pain had only managed to intensify hers and the only thing she could do to handle it was to lash back.

If it was bad for the others to feel what he felt, it was even worst for her. She understood.

She was hurting as bad as he was.

Even Embry-the usual victim of Leah's spiteful demeanor-had to admit that she was better now, softer somehow though her edges were still sharp and could draw blood and it definitely helped that Jacob was alpha now and not Sam.

He understood now why people say office romances were a bad, bad idea. It was hard not to be resentful when the person who dumped you could boss you around, meanwhile you couldn't say no.

He eyed the older girl who dug out a pack chips and was tearing into it like the wolf she was.

"The others are probably at the end of their designated areas already." Considering the pack's size, Jake had felt justified on dividing their numbers on patrol. Sam would take the twins along, Quil, Paul and Embry made the second group, Jared, Quil and Seth made the third while he and Leah were the fourth.

She was better, but she still grated on everybody's nerves.

Divided, they made good time since they had a lot of land to cover than ever. The Cullens were no longer here, a fact that he was grateful for every day, so the boundary line was non-existent, they were no longer in high school where all they need to do was sit in class and concentrate so as not to phase and kill someone. They had jobs now, responsibilities that you couldn't maintain when you're tired and sleep deprived.

"We should do a quick runaround and head for the grounds to meet up." She said around the chips that she stuffed inside her mouth.

"You OK with me seeing Bella?"

Her eyebrows met her hairline. "Oh, is that what you kids were doing?" Leah wiped her mouth and weighed his expression. " You're asking for my opinion?"

Jacob shrugged. "Yeah."

"You going to get pissy if you don't like what I say?"

"Most likely."

She leaned against the fridge and mimicked his pose. Body relaxed, ankles crossed. Jacob's lips twisted with irritation at her exaggerated thinking expression. "It's a bad idea considering how she pulverized you the last time you guys danced." She shrugged and stuffed more chips down her throat. "But you know that."

"She's bad for you and by association, she's bad for the pack but again, you also know that." Her eyes focused on some imaginary point at the wall behind him. "There's nothing I can say that you haven't thought of or heard already."

Both of them pondered on the truth of that then simultaneously shrugged. Silence stretched, filled by the crinkle of plastic and Leah's munching.

"I'm thinking of stopping."

Jacob lifted the bottle to his lips and glanced at her. "Hm, stop what?"

When Leah kept her eyes away from him, his hand paused halfway to his mouth. His stomach clenched. "Phasing? You're going to stop phasing?"

Her eyes shifted to his before shifting back to the imaginary spot. "It's not like you need me. More often than not, I hurt the pack. I'm a weak link and," She stopped. "...I'm making excuses." With what looked like a great effort she dragged her eyes to look straight at Jacob that left no doubts about her meaning every word. "Truth?"

Not knowing what to say quite yet, Jacob nodded.

"I just want out."

"Why?"

"Other than you're bound to screw up and will probably mope around again?"

When Jacob merely stared, she sighed. "I just want out. I want." She frowned. "I want..."

"To be free."

She made a move to rub her forehead but remembered her hands were covered with crumbs, instead she reached for more chips. "Yeah." She munched then bit her lip. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"I feel like." She swallowed. "Like I'm betraying--"

"You're not."

"Yes, I am. Being a werewolf is different for me than what it is to you and the others." As if she realized how that sounded, she lifted her eyes to Jacob's. "I didn't mean it's not hard for you guys--"

"I knew what you meant."

Her shoulders relaxed. "I don't...belong. You're family, all of you are and I feel that, and most days I'm glad for it. I'd die for any one of you and I believe in protecting humans from vampires. I believe in what we stand for." Her shoulders straightened, her expression grave. "Live for the family. Die for the cause." She recited respectfully. "I believe in that." She shook her head as her shoulders slumped. "But I need..."

"I know. I understand."

She threw him a half-smile. "I know you do. I told you first not just because you're alpha but because you're a friend." Her brow wrinkled. "Sort of."

Jacob scoffed and took a long pull out of his bottle. "So, this is your two weeks notice?"

"Barely. It's probably going to be years before I could eventually stop but I'm going to do my hardest."

"You know I won't stop you. Anyone of you if that's what you want." Jacob watched as she nodded as if his words were a given. "But you know who would."

Her lips firmed and Jacob could actually hear the snap of her spine. "He doesn't have any say in it."

"Doesn't he?"

"No."

"You're saying that he didn't influence your decision whatsoever?"

She kept her face away as the silence lengthened between them, the pack of chips forgotten in her hand. "In some ways, I preferred when he was alpha." She waved a hand. "Oh, I hated him, hated everything and every small rebellion I could think of was a victorious 'in your face". He made it easy to do that because...he was different. He was Alpha Sam, he was..." Her face twisted as she tried to find the words. "He wasn't the Sam that..." That I fell in love with. The Sam that loved me. "...I knew." Her mouth opened, closed before it opened again. "But, now that he's just..."

Cold hands, closed eyes, sleepy whispers _Jacob. My Jacob,_ Jacob drew a breath into his constricted lungs. "One of the wolves."

She spared him a glance and a smile. "I can't look at him without remembering and it..." _Hurt. Horribly._ "He's married. Emily's pregnant. I was her maid of honor, for God's sake. It's over. _Way_ from over. But I can't..."

Jacob's heart twisted at the smile that didn't belong on a face so young and full of promise. "He still loves me." Her eyes returned to his, naked and raw, her voice quiet and solemn with a trace of stinging pleasure. "That makes it hurt less... and more. At the same time."

Jacob's voice was a thoughtful whisper that clung to the air and hovered. "It does, doesn't it?"

He saw the dark humor on Leah's face. "It's scary how parallel our lives are going, isn't it?"

He chuckled. "I'm trying not to think about it."

She shifted in place. "You still have a chance, Jake."

"If you're me..."

"You won't see me for the dust."

He nodded, then nodded again. He finished his beer and pushed away from the counter. "I'm gonna take a shower."

She snorted as she peeked into the depths of her pack of chips. "You better. You smell like you rolled naked on her."

His steps faltered before his feet continued moving. "Make it a _cold_ shower."

"Pig." She muttered. "Say, Jake." She called out when he was halfway to the bathroom. "You know if you talk about me getting mushy I'm going to feel dutifully bound to pound on you, right?"

Jacob scoffed. "Bring it while you still can, Leah."

"I think I'm gonna start on Quil." she muttered as she licked her fingers.

Jacob laughed as he closed the bathroom door.


	17. Choices

Jacob gaped at the empty packages and tinfoils that was scattered over the counter tops.

"Jesus, Leah. Did you even eat at home?"

Leah licked the spoon to her chocolate pudding. "Seth got there first."

"You know, it is unfair for your mom to have to feed two werewolves. Good thing your quitting, at least you'll save your mom some money."

Leah pointed at him with the spoon. "That was actually one of the reasons why mom agreed with me." She shoved a mouthful then slid a sly gaze toward Jacob. "So, you never did answer my question."

"Which is?"

"_Did_ you have sex with her?"

Jacob tossed his towel which she caught with ease. "Lay off, bitch."

"Flattery will get you no where." Leah commented primly.

She raised an eyebrow when Jacob eyed her closely. "What?"

"You're really going to do this."

"You thought I wasn't serious?"

"No, just." Jacob got himself a glass of water. "The moment you got it all out, your mood got better."

Leah blinked, deliberated than shrugged. "I guess." She considered what he said than nodded. "Yeah, I do feel better. Lighter."

Leah ate pudding. Jacob drank water.

"You gonna tell them tonight?"

"What? That you finally scored with Bella? Don't sweat it, Jake. Your secret is safe with me."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "I _didn't_, OK?"

Leah scoffed. "Lame." She two pointed the empty pudding container to the trash. "Maybe, I haven't thought of it, yet."

Jacob led the way outside and both of them walked towards the edge of the forest. "They're gonna wonder why you're not going on patrol as much as you used to." He frowned. "You do know you'll have to do it step by step, right? You can't go cold turkey right away."

"Aw, shucks, Jake. I hadn't thought about that. Good thing you're here to remind me." Leah bat her eyelashes at him." What am I ever going to do without you?"

"Bitch."

"Really, Jake. You're repeating yourself. It's sad."

Jacob snorted as he turned away and left her to phase. Mechanically taking off his trunks--already he felt the trembling on his skin, the shiver along his spine, the twisting knot of fire inside his stomach trying to break free--and looping it with the elastic thin rope on his left leg.

The air shimmered at the edges of his sight.

It wasn't like in the movies and between him and the pack, they've watched every werewolf movie ever made. There were no sounds of cracking bones, no stretch of muscle, no painful groans. The closest that Jacob can describe what it felt to phase was like taking a great deep breath after spending a long time underwater.

The sensation was very much like breaking the ocean surface, the desperate gasp to fill his lungs with life giving oxygen.

There was a kind of freedom in being wolf, the oh, so tempting feeling of being freed from all the restrictions and the complexities of being human, of what _makes_ you human.

The minute his front paws touched the ground, his brothers thoughts and voices whispered inside his mind. What they were seeing and smelling flashed beneath his eyelids and wafted to his nostrils. He saw them on the grounds and as they noticed his and Leah's presence--a ripple along their muscles--they lifted their heads and sniffed the air before letting loose a long howls that reached the sliver of moon that offered pale, pale light along the midnight sky.

Jacob opened his eyes and slid through the disconcerting feeling of the overloading of his senses, the shifting of his sight, mind and body.

The colors, the colors were different by his wolf eyes, and the night was more alive, even the trees, the ground were more alive.

Under his paws, the earth seemed to breathe and the wind sang its welcome.

It didn't take long for them to do the courtesy patrol, especially since both of them were so damn competitive and was determined to out run the other. Their brother's watched their race in their minds with laughs, hoots, sly jabs to the ego and hedged bets.

Howls and snapping growls ripped the air when they shot out of the woods into the rocky clearing where they usually hang out. A circle of trees that was overshadowed by the rising cliffs that loomed intimidatingly, reaching the moon with hard, bloodless fingers.

The wind was harder here, meaner and it whipped at their fur with sharp little bites. And when they run, it dissolves and mold together into a never-ending scream of symphony into their ears, goading them to go faster and faster.

Jacob's amusement reached the others when as she said, Leah immediately leaped and knocked Quil off his rump.

_Why, you,_ Quil rolled himself to his feet and tried to snapped his jaw onto Leah's left paw but she danced nimbly away, her tongue lolling out provocatively. Her eyes a taunting glimmer in the stingy light. Quil snarled, _Oh, it is _on_._

From the corner of his eyes, Jacob saw Sam inched forward as if to stop Quil from tussling with Leah but managed to get himself in control just in time because that would lead only to awkwardness and tantrums on Leah's part.

It has always been like that, even when Sam was Alpha, Leah had always managed to get the least hours, the most harmless of task which made Leah even more determine to nose into every dangerous situation she could find.

Jacob couldn't really blame him. Even when Leah was her bitchiest self, Sam couldn't help but soften, placating her and her shifting moods. It was more than guilt; when Sam sees Leah, he sees more than a friend, a pack mate, a werewolf but a woman, one that he had loved with all his heart once a upon a time.

He'd done anything he could to make it easier for Leah. He demanded nothing but her presence in pack meets and_ only_ in pack meets, he'd never expect her to join in their lunches and dinners in Emily's place and Emily herself stopped coming into elder meetings. It was made clear that all werewolf matters were Leah's place in Sam's life and vice versa.

Jacob remembered the look in Sam's eyes on his wedding day, when he saw the door opened and Leah--wearing a soft sea green long sheath that made her golden skin glow--walked beside him along the aisle. It was painful to see the way his eyes tightened, the way he dragged his eyes to the floor before snapping back to the door where Emily, ethereally beautiful in her ivory beaded dress, finally made her appearance.

To be so conflicted.

Jacob watched Sam's body tensed when Paul tried to get a chunk of Leah's flank, Leah's play fight with Quil evolved into a royal-free-for all. Leah head butted Paul's jaw, knocking his head to the side in a classic gesture of going for the throat. A snort and a rumble that was the wolf synonym of a chuckle tumbled out of Paul when she licked him instead. Jacob wasn't surprise when Leah and Paul rubbed their jaws together in a gesture of respect and affection. He wasn't sure exactly what it was that made them bond, maybe their tempers, maybe it was because both of them had trouble in controlling their phases, maybe because next to Leah, Paul was the runner up for the notorious throne of pack menace but Leah and Paul had an understanding that eluded all of them.

They could let their tempers flair and tried to annihilate each other like born natural enemies, but after it passed, they would sneer and elbow each other, thick like thieves...but then again, all of them were like that although Leah's and Paul's has a certain spite to their fights.

Jacob tuned out all of the creative and vindictive curses that streamed into his head and watched the blackness of their surroundings, letting his senses undulate and spread across the forest as all at once, the forest seemed to enveloped him in a dark, green cocoon.

Even the air smelled green.

His ears flicked forward, back, flattened to the side, sorting through the sounds of animals, traffic, people and the wind.

The glimpse of white paw pulled him away from his thoughts and he met Leah's golden eyes, her voice whispered in his head. _Now._

_Are you sure?_, her voice was really just that, a whisper, a sign that she was shielding like a son of a bitch. Even then, their brothers cocked their heads toward them, curious, especially since she was blocking so hard.

She did the equivalent of shrugging. _Better now than later._

_How do you want to do it? Human or wolf?_

_Better go with the wolf to make it official_, Her lips pulled back from her teeth. _Band-aid approach._

Both of them stepped closer to the crowd, Jacob ignored the wary look in Sam's eyes. It was Leah's decision so she should be the one to tell the news.

Eyes flicked back and forth from Jacob to Leah. Seth bounced on his paws, _what? Did you guys find something?_

_Down boy, _Leah gave her brother a look and she dug her paws into the ground, paused, then in a decisive movement, flung her eyes and her words towards the pack._ I'm going to stop phasing._

Jacob felt the news hit his pack like a wrecking ball; muddled thoughts and just overall noise filled their heads. There was a tingle of fear, a shuffle of envy and a sprinkling of shock spiced by hurt.

He sensed Leah stiffen beside him when pity spread from one mind to another, finally relaxing her body when understanding blanketed their minds.

He watched as the pack stared...and stared...and stared...then like somebody turned off the mute button, everybody began to talk at once.

___What are you going to do?_

___You want to be normal? Typical._

___Where's the fun in being ordinary, Leah?_

___Why?_

_T__hen as if Leah had somehow answered the jumble of questions without him noticing, they settled quietly and waited for her to talk._

_Leah shifted on her paws. ____I don't know what I'm going to do.__ She shrugged. ____Return to college. __Her lips pulled from her teeth in a sneer. ____Somebody has to have a higher education._

Snorts and chuckles greeted her teasing.

Leah squinted.___Backpack through the country maybe. I always wanted to do that._

Paul roll his eyes. ___You can do that __now____, as a wolf, it'll be faster and cheaper. _He grunted. ___Although the backpack is going to be trouble._

___But we can fashion one for you._Quil continued Paul's suggestion.___I'm sure we can figure something____ out ____._

In their minds,an image of wolf Leah with a big saddle bag not unlike those that donkeys wear floated to the surface.

Amusement rippled at the image.

___Gee, thanks, Quil._

Quil preened.___Anything to help, sister._

___I know one or two of you who won't miss me_. Her slid slyly to Embry.

Embry frowned in thought,___I don't know. You sort of help me practice in controlling my anger. Now what am I gonna do?_

___Well, there's always Paul. _Leah suggested.

Embry brightened.___Oh, yeah._

Paul shook his head, his fur flopping to his eyes. ___Oh, man. You can't seriously leave me with these deadbeats. Who'll have my back? You know they're just waiting to take a chunk off my hide._

___What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, Paul._ Leah's golden eyes wavered to Seth and nervous slicked her mind as she plopped her butt in front of him. A sweet sadness coated her insides when she realized that he was already so much bigger than her even in wolf form.___Seth? You're quiet.__  
_  
___I already know._

___What?_

___I heard you and mom discussed it a couple of nights ago._

Leah shuffled on her feet when Seth didn't meet her eyes.___Listen, it's not like I'm gonna do it right away. It'll probably take years..._

___Don't worry about me, Leah._Seth finally lifted his head, his eyes, the same shade of Leah's crinkled in a reassuring smile.___I mean it. It'll be good for you._

Leah saw Seth's eyes flickered to where she knew Sam was sitting, watching her.___Besides, like you said, it's not like you're going right away and even then, you'll be visiting, right? In the holidays._

Leah nibbled his closest ear_, ____awww, are you going to miss me, little bro?_

_S_eth poked his muzzle at hers, escaping her playful affection but licked her to soften the sting after thinking a heartfelt_, ____of course. You're my only sister._

___Um, thanks. _Touched and a bit taken aback by Seth's honesty, Leah settled into embarrass silence which was broken by Brady's quick burst of_, ____I'll miss you, Leah._

Amusement mixed in with Seth's cringing exasperation as he swung to Brady.___Quit panting over my sister, you twerp._

___I was just being nice, _Brady's head hunched over his shoulders but straightened when Leah gave him a smile and a thank you_._

___Do _not___ encourage him, Leah. Soon, he'll be sneaking over to our house just to get a glimpse of you.__ S_eth snapped his jaws in annoyance of Brady's crush. Obviously he didn't like it when he had to endure someone fantasizing about his sister. As Seth and Brady bickered, other voices joined in.

_Dibs on Leah's patrolling spot_

_Damn, I was going to call it._

_You snooze, you loose._

_GROUP HUG!_

_DOG PILE!!  
_  
Leah rushed out of Quil's way and escaped the tangle of limbs and fur. The sound of their curses, laughs and grunts only managed to emphasize Sam's complete silence even more. It was like he wasn't even there, he was blocking that hard.

Jacob exchanged a wary glance with Leah but snapped their heads toward their former Alpha when a growl rose deep from his chest, it shivered the moist air and rendered the pile of wolves silent.

The deep reverberating growl was angry and territorial but the human voice that pierced their minds was deadly calm. The sound of it made the other wolves detangle themselves and spread behind Jacob and Leah in a protective gesture.

___Jacob, you can't possibly let her do this._

_Jacob lifted his head, calm and cool. ____ I already did._

_You should've asked me first-__  
_

Why? Leah demanded. _You're no longer Alpha. He doesn't need to ask you anything._

Sam's eyes stayed at Jacob's, his body trembling with anger but he knew, Sam wasn't angry at him. It took a long minute for SAm to finally, finally bring his eyes to look at Leah's.

The moment their eyes met, tension thickened the air. It was as if all the undercurrent, all the crippling hurt and stabbing anger that had been ignored, avoided and banked down reared up in one sudden swoop.

Sam's black body towered and shifted in the shadows, as dark as Leah's was light. Her white fur shimmered silver in the sliver of moonlight that trickled down like star dust.

Black and white faced each other in the night.

___So, that's it? _Sam's body stilled as if he had suddenly clamped down on his emotions, the only thing that showed that he was alive was the glow of his dark eyes. ___You're just going to leave?_

_I need to. _All of them could probably feel the hold that Leah had on herself, could see the wall that she had built in front of herself.

And if they could feel it, see it, so could Sam and heat poured over them in suffocating waves from Sam. He was angry, so angry.

And hurt.

Jacob gritted his jaw, knowing that this will not end well but really, this wasn't something that he could protect both of them from, or should. It was about time they duke it all out. A whisper of agreement and weary approval crept to his mind from the others.

___You're needed here._

___You guys don't need me. Not anymore._

___There is a reason why our numbers are the biggest so far._

___Then that reason better happen soon 'cause I've made my decision._

The snarl snapped from Sam's jaws, his anger blistering their minds. ___This is not something that you can decide for yourself--_

I've asked for the council's approval, I've asked for my mom's blessing, I have my alpha's permission. ___Who else do I have to ask? _Leah scoffed.___You?_

Sam took a step forward and Jacob tensed.___Is this what it's all about? Another one of your little punishments?_

___Get over yourself, Sam. This is not about you. This doesn't concern you._

Sam growled. _This concerns the pack._

Leah growled back. ___That's funny. The only one who's voicing any kind of concerns here is you. _She lifted her head, her white fur whipped in the howling winds.___The decision to stop phasing is a personal decision as it had always been since Taha Aki himself. This is my decision and it has nothing to do with you._ I ___want to have a life._

___You have a life here._

___Outside of the pack._

___Than have it but stay in the pack.__  
_

_Leah bared her teeth. __Why should I?_

Jacob could feel Sam's rising panic and the crack around his self control and blocking. Before he could do anything, the thought slipped from one of those cracks and rammed into all of their minds, Leah's specifically.

___...because that's the only way I can stay in your life..._

To say that Leah took offense was an understatement. Her hackles rose and she ducked into an attack stance. A threatening growl trickled out of her razor sharp teeth.

Jacob stepped between them, stuck between two hurting hearts. _Sam. Stop._

But Sam didn't hear him, he was trapped inside his own feelings, feelings that he struggled to contain but couldn't. His attention was focused on the white wolf behind Jacob, as if he didn't notice that the wolf was snarling and ready to rip his heart out. ___Leah, please._

Leah's snarls echoed louder between the grounds when images clashed into their brains. Images of a younger Leah; slender and soft with straight black hair that came down to her thighs in a sleek, dark trail. Echoes of whispered words and promises rained down their ears like morning dew as the images continued; Leah asleep, Leah laughing, her elegant hands, her skin in candle light, by firelight, by the morning sun.

Waves upon waves of emotion drowned them until their knees buckled and they could only resurface when the collage of memories stopped and focused to one.

Jacob noticed that Leah had stopped breathing and he could feel the snap of realization.

_O__cean view, silky morning, the sun streaked the sky with pale colors, Leah's eyes were wide and filled with tears. Joy was evident in every angle of her face._

Leah growled, her jaws snapping, anger streaked their vision with red.___No! Don't you dare._

Jacob hated to do it and he rarely had to do it but feeling Leah's pain and panic, he summoned the thing that made him alpha but he knew he was too late as Sam's speared the memory into their minds.

___Leah's mouth opened as she moved to open her arms to embrace. "Yes, Sam. Yes. Of course, I'll ma-"_

Jacob cursed when Leah's muscles bunched and with a terrifying roar, she leaped, her claws flashing. In one wild movement, she slashed Sam's chest before they could finally drive her back. Sam's blood splattered on the ground from her claws.

___Never. Never again! Do you hear me, Sam? Never again!_

Sam's regret, shame and guilt swarmed inside their minds mingling with the spice of Leah's bitter anger.

She was a streak of silver in the shadows when Sam finally shook himself and made a move to follow her but before Jacob could order him to stay, Seth planted himself in front of him. Animosity ringing in his growl.

___Leave her alone, Sam. You've done enough. This ends _now_._

Unease vibrated in shadows, sharp stabs and tearing pain ripped at their hearts.

Sam's pain. Leah's pain. Their pain.

Sam stayed in place, his eyes following Seth's progress further into the woods. His mind shifting into Seth's to see Leah.

**___Stop it, Sam._**Jacob ordered him, putting what made him Alpha into his voice, and just like that, Seth's mind was closed from Sam's. But the memories, the memories still tangled inside their mind and to escape it, to spare her, Sam could only phase back.

Jacob nodded.___Everyone phase back, give Leah and Seth their privacy._

Jacob gestured to the others after they turned human with his head and they nodded and ran into the woods, back to their homes.

He returned his attention toward Sam who was wiping the almost drying blood on his chest. His fingers touching the raised skin that formed four new scars. He couldn't help but think of how appropriate it was; Leah's claws had tore through muscle and meat, right above Sam's heart.

She had done to Sam what Sam had done to her.

He watched as Sam closed his eyes and tried to breathe through the crippling pain of what was, and he suspected, what will always be the longing over something that you could never have.


	18. Connection

Jacob didn't call.

He didn't visit.

Considering that they hadn't been back together for just a bit more than two months, Bella figured, she shouldn't feel bereft, lonely, neglected. Abandoned.

Maybe if the universe hadn't sent her all those little, trivial things that reminded her of his absence, Bella wouldn't have. But it had, so she did.

If it wasn't Lulu or Brian or Tina or Misha demanding why Jacob hadn't been visiting, it was her espresso machine that decided to break down and refuse to be cajoled by Brian into working again. She drew the line and finally caved when a group of bikers with a raging sweet tooth parked their bikes in front of the shop, asking for a meal and directions to Forks since they heard such good things about a garage called JEQ.

She mulled over why it was that before Jacob knew of her existence, she had to beg, steal and borrow for scrap of news about him. But now that he did, everything seemed to be about him.

Phone calls to Billy only got her vague answers such as "he's a little busy right now", "pack business" and things like that which did nothing for her sudden anxiety attacks. Not that Billy did nothing but reassure her that Jacob was alright, but his behavior only succeeded to remind her of Jacob's baptism to the supernatural as she dubbed the weeks where Jacob was suddenly not available to her all those years ago. Since remembering those days only made her mood even darker, especially when she realized the throbbing sensation in her heart was fresher than she thought it should have been, she refused to even entertain it and pushed it way, way out of her mind.

But of course, it were exactly those thoughts that made her commandeer Lulu's orange VW and skid into JEQ where she sat behind the wheel and chastised herself for being stupid.

Just because Billy said it was pack business didn't mean that there was something wrong or that Jacob was hurt. Surely they would tell me if Jacob was hurt, right? She assured herself, but another voice followed that encouraging thought. Why the hell would they? Who are you to them?

Bella frowned at her reflection on the rear view mirror that was encased in a pink fuzzy casing. It's not like they have an obligation to tell you anything, especially if it was pack business. For all she knew, they were at a mind that she had betrayed their trust right when she turned her back on Jacob and joined the Cullens.

She was an outsider then, she was an outsider now; an outsider who didn't have the common sense to stay out of the way of creatures that could eat her.

And if she had any common sense at all, she would have given Jacob very wide, wide space after what happened the last time they met, exactly the way she had decided the morning after that particular night.

The memory of their make out session played often enough inside her mind that the blush that usually resulted only made her cheeks look attractively healthy rather than the boiled lobster effect that would have appeared not a week ago.

But it's been two weeks since then and still no news from him.

She was getting worried and to be honest, she missed him.

She huffed out a breath of frustration at her fickle heart. She knew she had to stop doing this, stop pulling Jacob in and pushing him away when she wasn't comfortable when he got too close…or when she was entirely too comfortable with his proximity.

But he wasn't only some guy she was in love with, he was also her best friend. She cared for Lulu, Misha, Brian, Tina. She cared for Damien, Gabe and Matthew but she missed the connection that she had with her two men; the feeling of completion, of being whole that only they managed to conjure inside her. And her connection with Jacob was…special; although Edward was closer to her heart, Jacob was closer to her soul.

With Edward it was fireworks; that instant, intense attraction that blew her up from inside, tore her open and filled her up until she felt different in her own skin. While with Jacob it was a slow building warmth; like a laugh bubbling beneath the surface, the pure golden pleasure of wordless conversation packed in one glance.

When Edward made her feel uncomfortably special but special nonetheless, Jacob made her remember who she was...in a good way.

Strangely, considering how free and young she felt with Jacob, he was one of the most grounding influences in her life and she needed that right now. She needed to look at him and have him tell her that he was all right, that considering the many times they rocked the boat, they were sailing smooth and easy; that they were still friends.

She threw her reflection a disgruntled look.

She was a moron.

More than that, she was a bitchy, desperate, ungrateful moron.

Friends was the last thing that Jacob wanted to be, that was made clear enough and really, as she remembered years back, they had never really been 'just friends'.

They had always been more.

He had always been more.

No matter how much she had wanted them to be just friends.

Lost in thought, she jerked and almost toppled over to the cement floor if not for her seatbelt when somebody suddenly opened the car door that she was leaning against. Bella lifted her eyes to meet laughing dark eyes.

"Oh. Sorry." He grinned apologetically. "I saw you sitting here and just wanted to see whether you were alright."

Mortified, Bella tried out a smile that probably came out as a grimace. "Uh, yeah. I'm fine." She righted herself on the seat and as an afterthought released her seat belt.

Bella eyed the boy that eyed her back and realized that she recognized him. He was one of the boys that Jacob was teaching the first time she came to JEQ.

A bright smile lit up his face as he seemed to recognize her too. "Hey, you're Jacob's…friend." The smile went crooked at the purposeful pause. "You came to see him?"

Fighting a bit of self-awareness, she fidgeted. "He's here, then?"

He kept a hand on the top of her door, as if he sensed her urge to slam the door close and burn rubber in her haste to get there. "Yeah, he's in the back room, sleeping, I think."

"Sleeping?"

He nodded and popped the bubble gum he was munching on, the sweet smell of grape wafted to her nostrils and somehow, she found it comforting as she sized him up. Instead of the obvious effort of acting cool and at ease, as if he talked to weird girls that hung out near the garage like some stalker or worse, a groupie; the careless and almost cocky way he moved could only belong to a teenager. "Yeah, he's been working the graveyard shift for these couple of days." He shrugged broad shoulders under reddish orange overalls that had the JEQ emblem printed on his left chest. "Nothing strange in that, Jake always preferred to work alone."

"I know."

The smile widened as he raised his eyebrows. "So…you're coming in or not?"

Bella brushed her hair out of her face, squirmed then sighed at the daring look in his eyes. Bella swallowed audibly and eyed the opened garage doors. "Yeah."

He chuckled. "Better to get on with it than drag it out." He must have seen the shocked expression in her face because he laughed. "Please, you've been sitting here for half an hour with a guilty look on your face while Jacob went around looking bummed. It's doesn't take a genius to figure out there's trouble in paradise."

"We're not like that." The denial slipped from her lips more out of reflex rather than any discomfort over the conclusion that she didn't even feel irritated by the 'yeah, right' look on his face.

"I'm Caleb Joaquin, by the way."

"Bella Swan."

"I know, Chief Swan's daughter." Bella wondered whether 'Chief's Swan's daughter' would be a label that would follow her forever. Maybe someday it would even sneak its way into her headstone. Bella Swan. Chief Swan's Daughter. May she rest in peace. "And I'd shake your hand if I didn't have muck all over them."

She spared him a distracted smile as she followed him inside.

"Bella?"

She turned to see Embry's inquisitive eyes. Worry bloomed even further in her chest when she saw relief soften Embry's expression. "What's wrong?"

Embry's brown eyes flickered to Caleb who was watching them with more than passing interest, catching Embry's look, he inched back with a curious smile. "I'll just…go."

Bella didn't take her eyes off Embry when she waved a hand at him. "What is it? It's Jacob, isn't it?"

A wry smile curved Embry's lips as he ran a hand over his hair. "No, he's alright." He lifted a hand to stop her." I'm not going to tell you anything. Something happened, yes, but I'm not going to tell you. It's pack business and you're not pack." He returned his eyes to her face and gave her a sudden calculating look. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

Bella opened her mouth to answer but a wave of embarrassment and chagrin made her close her mouth.

He sighed, tired and long. "Bella." The way he said her name made Bella shuffle her feet and cross her arms in front of her in a gesture that was so obviously defensive. When he leaned against a stack of trays that were filled with little nuts and bolts, guilt swarmed inside her for her part of making him wear that expression; he looked so tired and…alone. She didn't know which alarmed her more. Each member of the pack had always been a huge, sizzling bolt of energy; it was in the movement of their limbs, the look in their eyes, the way they could pick a spot in a room and make that place their own. And they could be many things but they were never alone; pack meant more than family, more than blood, it was a connection that was as smothering as it was comforting. They were pack, they were never alone.

But something had happened to put that look in his gentle eyes; Embry who had always been loyal and caring and kind-hearted. Whole, Jacob said to her once, Embry had always been the one with two feet planted firmly on the ground. It didn't matter that he didn't know who his father was, that half of his identity was missing. Embry had always known who he was, but it was obvious, even to Bella who had never spent enough time with Embry to say that she knew him, that he was shaken about something. A disturbing thought popped inside her head and her nails bit onto her skin. "Embry, did something happen to the pack? Is somebody hurt? Is it…" She eyed the room and lowered her voice. "…vampires?"

A bitter laugh burst out of his mouth. "Vampires? No. Is somebody hurt? Well, that depends."

He shook his head at the question in her eyes, his shoulders shrugging inside the blue black uniform overall that he was wearing, Bella noticed the black smudge under his fingernails and that the T-shirt under the opening of his overall was comfortably worn. "If you want to know, ask Jacob. If he wants you to know, he'll tell you."

Something in his tone caught her attention. "If it was your decision, would you?"

Embry sent her a sidelong glance and straightened. "What?"

"You preferred if he didn't tell me."

Once again, his eyes returned to hers. She was taken aback by how angry they looked, but at the very least she wasn't quite sure who he was angry at. "My mother doesn't know what I am. Even the council doesn't know everything that happens inside the pack. You're not pack and you're not tribe. You're an outsider. The only reason why you know about us is because you were on the other side and because Jacob broke the rules with taking you in without permission. Not that he didn't have good reason. But you're a liability, Bella, one way or the other. You may not be in contact with the vampires anymore, at least not that we know of, but you were in their radar and even standing in the fringes, you're dangerous."

The thought that anyone considered her dangerous was funny but a werewolf? That was flat out laughable. Bella couldn't find it in herself to laugh though, because she knew what he meant. She suppressed a shiver at the memory of the Volturi and the threat that she was still in. She had reassurance from Edward and Carlisle that they would take care of that but Embry was right, she knew about the supernatural now and the supernatural knew about her. If she were supernatural herself, it wouldn't have been a problem. But she was human; frail, weak, mortal. She didn't have time for her usual mental whipping and self mutilation however because Embry was already talking again.

"Do you know what it means to be Alpha, Bella?"

"Well, I…" She stuttered at the intense look in his eyes. "It means leader, right? In a wolf pack being Alpha means that he's the most dominant male."

"It's more than that. It means that he's the source of our strength, the ultimate protector. Alpha is both mother and father. When he is strong, we are strong."

Bella's spine tingled at the power she could feel behind Embry's words, it was as if she could see his wolf lurking behind his eyes, watching her with the stillness that every great predator had. "Every good quality he has is also ours." His voice lowered that it was almost like a growl. "But his weakness is also ours."

Embry narrowed his eyes at Bella, not in animosity but in concentration. "Jacob's strong, Bella. His bloodline makes him strong. Him ascending into Alpha was destined. Everyone of us has learned the hard way that blood is not something we can fight against. But as strong as he is, he has his weaknesses."

Bella's mouth dried. "Me."

He tilted her head and watched the shifting expression on her face, the calculating gleam back into his eyes. "Haven't you ever wondered why we accepted your presence as easily as we did?"

"You mean…Jacob made you…"

"No. Jacob would never do that. Not if there's any other way. As I said he's strong," His lips curved in amusement. "…and sneaky enough to make sure that we follow his orders and find no loopholes like he once did, but he prefers to trust us."

"You don't think that Jacob can trust me?"

"It's not a matter of whether he can or not. He shouldn't."

"I won't betray Jacob or the pack…I've kept your secret this long…"

"How much of this secret have you shared with your vampires?"

Bella fumbled.

"Your vampires may be harmless. Now. But later? If somehow, someday one of them slips?" His smile turned sharp. "It's just a matter of time. It's their nature and when that happens, do you really think that they wouldn't side with their own? That they wouldn't clean up after one of them and consider it done? It wouldn't be the first time or the last."

Bella remembered a night so long ago, at her birthday where Jasper had lost control of himself. She remembered the wild, hungry look on his face, the predator that existed beneath the lovely façade.

Embry nodded, as if he knew what she was thinking about. "Sooner or later, we'll be at war with them, just as we would have if they had changed you."

She blinked in surprise. "Jacob said…"

"Jacob could have said whatever he wanted, the truth is if you had been changed, we would've gone after you and your new family. Jacob would have had no choice but to follow if Sam gave him the order. It's what we do, Bella. What we were born to do."

"There's no need for that, The Cullens are… I'm not...going to change."

"Maybe, but answer me this. If we go to war, which side will you be on?"

Bella stared and jerked in surprise when Embry turned and walked away and she forced herself to follow him when all she wanted was to tuck tail—haha—, run and hide. "Your humanity makes you harmless to us, Bella. We'll protect you even if your divided loyalty makes you dangerous. But protecting you will cost Jacob something, and with him, us." He stopped and shook his head. "But pushing all of that aside, we may not want you but what we want doesn't matter. What does matter is Jacob and he needs you."

"I need him, too." She said it so softly that it was almost lost in the typical sounds of garages everywhere but Embry's sharp senses could detect the sincerity in those few words.

Embry lead her to the stairs that climbed to what looked like a set of rooms. "Now, sure." He stopped at one of the doors. "But what about later? What'll happen when your vampire returns?" He shook his head when she opened her mouth which was a good thing because she didn't actually know how to answer him. "Nevermind. I don't need to know your answer." He put a hand on the doorknob. "He hasn't been sleeping lately, he's tired and…no serious conversations today, all right? Let him rest. Be for him what he is to you and you'll have no problem from me."

Bella shuffled inside the room. Nervous with the seriousness in Embry's face and the mystery of Jacob's condition, she jumped when Embry shut the door with a sharp click. She stared at the closed door before finally turning around to survey the room, blinking her eyes to adjust to the lack of light. She heard the silent sigh of the ceiling fan as it stirred the air that smelled like sandalwood; spicy and fresh.

She squinted and saw that the room wasn't much; it was wide enough, the ceiling high enough that Jacob could walk around with no danger of braining himself with the fan, there were also no windows. Then she noticed the clutter; books, magazines, empty food delivery containers, paper balls, tool boxes, nuts and bolts, a shiny muffler thrown haphazardly across a long working table that was pushed against one of the walls alongside a drawing table. Toy cars; lines of cheap tin models all mixed in with professional made collector items on a wooden shelf. Her eyes caught several of those on the second shelf that were carved from wood and painted, her attention piqued, she scrutinized the workmanship, she had seen enough of Billy's work (she'd found out that the old rocking chair of her baby years was actually Billy's) and Jacob's (the new table where Charlie's flatscreen perched in a place of honor that replaced the old one) to know whose hands created which. Billy was a master, his works were intricate and detailed and beautifully rendered. Jacob's lacked the subtle, liquid lines of his father's but his was beautiful in a different way; bold, confident and warm. She rolled her eyes at the thought but shrugged. Art was about perspective after all and that was what she always got from Jacob's wood carvings.

She crouched to better see the occupants of the lower shelf before standing up again to see if she missed any, silently ignoring the voice that accused her of stalling. She eyed the collection for another five minutes, reducing the voice inside her head into clucking like a chicken before she finally turned back into the room. She saw him, well, more like spotted his arm, dangling to the floor. He was sprawled deeply into a beat up, lived in sofa that was amazingly long enough for his tall, tall body. She inched forward and almost fell when her foot got tangled into what she found out was the same colored blue black coveralls that Embry wore, she also noticed one shoe under it and a red T-shirt near the sofa, as if he had taken everything off while he walked across the room before falling on his face on the sofa.

Considering how deep the sofa was and how heavy he was, Bella was kind of worried that he had smothered himself on the padding. As usual, Jacob was only wearing trunks and she couldn't really blame him, she herself was wearing one of her thinnest T-shirts that she combined with denim shorts that hung to her knees in celebration of the warm, almost sunny weather. With his own insane body heat, Jacob must have felt like he was in a sauna or something.

Not willing to wake him up since he looked so tired and unsure of what else to do, she hovered beside the sofa and just looked at him, it was something that was still new for her, to actually watch someone while he was asleep since Edward hadn't slept at all. She wondered whether this was how he felt when he had watched her sleep; affectionate, protective, deeply amused and deliciously smug, as if he knew something that no one else did.

She sat on the table facing him, her earlier anxiety and churned feelings disappear by inches with Jacob's every breath. There was no way she could feel so tense at the sight of Jacob being so unguarded, so relaxed and as far as she could tell; fine by the look of him. She took a deep breath and unconsciously breathed in time with him, warmed by the feeling of well-being that she always felt when she was with Jacob. Her eyes started to drift away from him but returned to him when when she heard him mutter. Curious, she waited for him to say more, a smile curved her lips at the possibility of teasing him about talking in his sleep. To her delight, he said something else but it was so muffled by the pillow, she leaned forward to hear him better but still couldn't catch it. Frowning, she stood and bent over him, carefully holding her hair up and turning her head in order to hear him better when he grumbled, his eyes still closed, "Bella, stop that…creeping me out."

Before she could blink or process his words, she found herself pulled and flipped on her back onto the sofa that had the density of marshmallows. With a deep, contented sigh Jacob rearranged himself on the sofa and around her in a matter of seconds; one of his arms sneaked under her head, the other plopped on her waist, his nose touching her neck, one of his legs thrown on top of hers while the other wedged under them.

He snuggled and cuddled her like she was his favorite teddy bear.

Surprised, she turned her head, hitting his nose with her chin and glared at his closed eyes. "Were you pretending to be asleep?"

"Was asleep." He muttered into her hair. "Felt you gawking."

"I wasn't gawk—" She huffed when he exhaled, his hot breath misting over her shoulder. "Let go."

"Don't wanna."

"Jake, I still have to go back to work."

His grip on her waist shifted and she got distracted by wondering where Jacob found a couch that could not only fit both of them comfortably but also with room to spare. "So do I."

"Jake—"

"What time is it?" he asked against her neck, at least that was what she thought he was asking, between his weariness and the fact that he'd been sleeping, and maybe because he was a werewolf, his words came out as a weird, husky, growl. What he actually said was, "whatimzit?"

"One."

"Noon?"

"Yeah."

"…two hours…drive you."

"I drove here."

"Wake me…drive you."

She couldn't fight the smile, more importantly, she didn't want to fight the smile. "You should get more sleep."

"Two hours."

"Jake—"

"Sleeping."

She rolled her eyes but subsided, her brows pinching when she heard the abrupt change of music from Eric Clapton's blues to serious down and dirty rock. She winced at the high wail of guitars and quick, heavy beat of drums that was muffled by the door, she could only imagine how loud the music was outside.

She felt Jacob let out a short burst of breath that sounded suspiciously like a laugh but didn't budge from his position. As he and the pack had often instilled awe inside of her for their supernaturally-enhanced senses, she wondered how Jacob or any of them could stand hearing something like that. She knew they could but didn't know the mechanics of it. She suddenly wanted to know how, know about how being a werewolf works, what made them tic.

She was so busy with gathering questions and thoughts that she didn't realize that she was absently brushing a hand over the length of his arm that was slung on her waist, sliding her fingers against the sleek, long muscle there, playing with the corded veins under the skin, relishing his warmth and the feel of his smooth skin, lacing their fingers and pressing against the calluses at his palm and fingertips. She breathed in the sun in his silky black hair, the trees and grass from his skin and waft of musk that was wolf and Jacob, unknowingly wrapping his scent and the feel of him around her and cataloguing them in her mind under; love, comfort, home, Jacob.

Her breath caught when something else caught her attention, the subtle but strong bump of his heart, beating against her skin. That's another new thing, she thought, lulled to sleep by the sound.


	19. the faces of truth

**the faces of truth**

It was the heat that woke her or more precisely, the lack of heat.

She resurfaced with a disgusted groan at the smell of her own sweat and the feel of her shirt sticking to her skin. She lifted a hand to dislodge the clumps of damp hair that smothered her face, she felt hot, itchy but more rested than she ever felt these last few days.

She wasn't quite sure how to feel about that.

Clenching her eyes tight, she stretched luxuriously and curled her toes, searching for the trace of warmth that her body remembered and groaned again at how dry her throat was....then bolted straight up at the low even chuckle that sounded from not so far away.

Her brown eyes peeking from beneath her strands of hair, she met his dark eyes; soft and warm on her face. He grinned at her, she assumed he was amused at how hideous she looked, from the middle of the room where he was standing in faded blue jeans, his hair wet and curling over his broad face and a towel hooked around his shoulders.

She tried not to notice that his jeans was unzipped and hanging low on his hip; giving her a glimpse of sky blue cotton boxers, as if he'd put it on just as an afterthought..

If her brain wasn't already fuzzed up from sleep, she was sure the sight of him would do it.

The scent of water and something salty and fresh tickled her nose, reminding of her own bedraggled appearance.

She tried not to squirm, especially when her face heated up as she realized where she was and just what exactly, she had done.

"Is that how you wake up nowadays?"

She smiled tentatively in question, all the while straightening her clothes.

He gestured a hand at where she sat while the other briskly rubbed his wet hair. "Like I shouted 'vampire' in your ear."

"Oh." Her eyes scrambled to find something else to look at either than him, with nothing else to do she wrestled her hair that tangled tightly against her neck and made a face at the gathering sweat and the dampness of her hair. When he laughed again, she spared him a glance.

"That's the only drawback of sleeping with a werewolf."

She ducked her head and bit her tongue, refusing to fuel the suggestive tone in his voice and the mischievous light in his eyes. From the cover of her hair, her eyes landed on his back as he padded barefoot across the floor and opened a mini fridge that was hidden beside the two enormous work table. When he approached her, a smile on his face, Bella tossed her damp hair, pulled the collar of her T-shirt from her neck and struggled not to pout.

"Here." He handed her a chilled soda can.

She accepted it and smiled down at the can before opening it, her eyes returning to his at the amused sound that he made, he sat on the coffee table, his knees bumping with hers. "Soda's at the garage. Almost like old times." He said softly before taking a long pull.

Bella's smile was soft in remembrance, sighing softly when the biting cold of the bubbly liquid coated the inside of her throat.

She caught a flurry of his scent, bringing the image of warm sand and chilled ocean water into her mind, before she felt the touch of his callus hand on her left temple. Jacob looked at the bead of sweat, a perfect pearl of water on his thumb before rubbing his damp fingers together, as if trying to rub the sweat into his pores, installing her deep inside him where a part of her already was. His eyes glanced at up at hers; silent and still, watching him.

"You're welcome to use the shower."

She bit down against the enthusiastic agreement. "Um."

He gave her a look. "Really, Bella. You look miserably hideous and I refuse to look at you when you look like this."

She gave him her own look, her lips curving into a smile. "You won't mind?"

He shrugged. "Why should I?" He stood and pulled her hand so she stood with him. "You could use whatever you need. You want a clean shirt?"

She nudged her bag with a foot as it was conveniently tangled on her ankle, traitorously waiting to trip her. "No, I always bring a change of clothes in my bag." Extracting her foot from the bag, she picked it up and followed him to the bathroom. She poked her head in and saw a pretty but small bathroom done in rich greens and pale blues.

"Always? Since when?" He opened the shower's blurry glass door then opened a closet to pull out some clean towels.

"When you hang out with Lulu and friends, you learn to anticipate everything."

He grinned as he passed her a towel and stood just outside the door, giving her space to maneuver. "I suspect there's a story in their somewhere..."

"Remind me to tell you about how we agreed to go out for ice cream and ended up in Vegas." When Jacob's dark eyes lit up with interest, she closed the door at his grinning face.

As usual, as soon as she was alone, she was berated by that well-meaning part of her. _What are you doing? You were suppose to lay down the rules. Not to take a nap with him and share his shower!!!_

_I'm not sharing, I'm _borrowing _his bathroom, _she chastised the voice back. She stared at herself from the stingy yet stylish mirror that hung above a meticulous white bowl sink and grimaced. Scruples aside, she really did look pathetic and the practical side of Bella took over. She stripped as fast as she could, first because she felt like she's betraying own cause by giving in to her vanity, secondly because she really, really wanted the shower and thirdly because she couldn't help feeling self conscious about the fact that Jacob was so close while she was...you know..._naked._

Not only was she naked, Jacob would know that she was naked and could probably hear her taking off her clothes right now and he could probably also hear the instant she'd step into the shower where she won't only be naked...but wet.

It just seems that she's teasing him or something.

She eyed the bathroom door and felt that it might as well not exist if Jacob wanted to get inside....not that he would..._right?_

Torn, Bella yelped when a polite knock broke her churning thoughts and unthinkingly and _irrationally_ dove for the towel and in the process, skidded over the still wet floor and hit her hip on the edge of the sink. She bit her lip and blinked off the tears of pain.

"Bells, you okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah." She squeaked, rubbed her hip and wrapped her body with the green fluffy towel that smelled like lavender. She couldn't help but smile at the image of Jake choosing a lavender scented detergent. Despite feeling a little bit ridiculous, well, okay, a lot, she pulled the towel tighter around her which was stupid because it's not like he could _see_ her. "Just being clumsy."

She could hear the smile in his voice as if he knew what he was thinking and since this was Jacob, he probably could. "What's up?"

She saw the shadow at the bottom of the door moved. "There's a customer picking up an order, I'll be downstairs so just come down when you're done."

"OK." She added. "Thanks."

"Take your time, Bells."

She tried not to shuffle her feet, calling herself all kinds of stupid but waited until she heard the door closed before she took off the towel and jumped into the shower. Her hands hovered above the faucet, grinned when she saw it was shaped like wolf heads. Her head tilted up when she heard the headache inducing rock turned into the mellow rock of 3 Doors down. "Huh."

Almost belting out a tune herself when she felt the water pumping against her itchy skin, she settled on a satisfied sigh that went down to her wet toes while she dunk her hair under the shower head. Groping blindly, she reached for the bottle of soap that was shelved conveniently behind her, she opened it up and sniffed, immediately recognizing the scent as the one she smelled just a few minutes ago.

Jacob's soap. Jacob's shampoo. She spotted the blue toothbrush. Jacob's toothbrush.

These little trivial things only made the realization crashed down even harder than it already had.

Holy _crow_, she was in Jacob's _bathroom_.

Her stomach jitter with what could only be described as discomfort and embarrassment as she slather on his soap onto her slick skin but even she couldn't help the giddy and not too innocent feeling that can only be the warm glow of female satisfaction, that naughty bubbly feeling of having something of your lover that someone else doesn't have, which of course, just _wrong_.

Administering a scalding set down to herself, she managed to make herself feel really ashamed and guilty...while she massage his shampoo against her scalp and along each strand of her hair.

Rationalizing that she had a lot of hair and it was feeling really dirty, she squirted another dose of his shampoo, a part of her admitted that when it came to Jacob, nothing worked like it should.

They _should_ have been just friends.

She _should_ have let him go.

She _should_ have left him well enough alone.

_It was time_, she thought as she watched the suds and bubbles slither down her skin and circled down the drain, _it was time to finally buck up and draw the final line. _She stepped out of the shower and vehemently ignored the mocking laughter that echoed inside her head as well as the equally mocking and even more sly whispers of _'you could try_'.

She glared at her pale but nonetheless fresher looking reflection.

She was easing into the simple, sleeveless, lacy top that she would never have bought if not for Misha's nagging when another knock surprised her. Knowing the owner of the voice only made her wrestled with the top even harder.

"Jake?" A low, even yet cheeky baritone called out to her. "Are you in there?"

She tugged the top but it rejected her effort and clung stubbornly onto her head. Since speed was never her friend and knowing she'll only end up with a concussion if she persisted, she tried to relax and called out. "Quil?"

There was a pause. "Bella? Is that you?"

Her voice was muffled by the top that covered her face like some exotic veil, she cleared her throat and picked up the towel and held it in front of her bra covered breast. The act was still as stupid as it was an half hour ago but she just couldn't have conversations while she was almost naked, even through a door and nobody was watching. "Uh, yeah."

Another long, meaningful and vibrating pause entered into the conversation and Bella struggled with her top with one hand while the other still clenched the towel in front of her chest. She heard Quil cough. "Well, is Jacob there?"

The towel dropped to the floor. "_No_." Finally she thrust her arms into the cross collar of the almost T shirt, almost halter top and just hoped it covered the back of her bra.

With a huff and a glare, she opened the door and met Quil's glinting hazel eyes and wide smile. "He's downstairs."

Ignoring her self-righteous expression, Quil merely spread his gaze over her head and made a lazy search of the bathroom with his eyes. "Hm...if you say so."

Bella almost groaned when his eyes returned to her face, an unholy light in his eyes but before he could say something that she was sure would humiliate her, Jacob walked into the room. "Quil, stop badgering her. You're needed downstairs."

Quil gave them an 'aw shucks' smile that was both adorably cute and evil that Bella could only blush even more. "OK."

Bella tried to ignore the way Quil leaned closer to Jacob, whispered something in Quileute and got a quick whack on the side of his head for his troubles. She stood quietly, brushing a towel on her hair when Jacob turned his attention to her, leaning easily against the door frame. "Did he do anything that I need to apologize for?" He frowned. "He didn't barge in, right? He does that sometimes."

"Why?"

Jacob shrugged. "He's Quil."

Strangely, she understood the noncommittal answer. Quil usually has his own reasons for doing stuff and not all of them understandable. "Well, no. He didn't."

He gave her a small smile. "Well, good. I don't have to kill him."

She stayed where she was, feeling silly like she had for the whole time she was here and dragged her feet and bag back to the couch. "You were going to tell me something?"

He stayed where he was but shifted his body so she could keep her in sight. He nodded, not asking how she had known that. "The guys are going out for food, there's this old mom and pop Italian place right around the corner." He smiled. "They got a killer two sauce lasagna."

She sat on the couch. "You don't have to...I'm not really..."

"Come on, Bells." He grinned. "I mean after what happened you should at least buy me dinner."

She frowned at him.

He laughed and raised a hand. "That's the only joke about it that I'll be making. I promise." She glared at him, again ignoring how relaxed and warm he looked to her eyes. Apparently, at least for now, all her worries were for nothing.

He raised an eyebrow. "So, lasagna?"

"Lasagna sounds good." She kept brushing the towel over her hair but blinked when he pulled out a slick, slim silver cellphone from his pockets, his thumb moving fast over the digits before he flicked it close. "There." He noticed her look. "What?"

"You have a cellphone." She didn't mean for her words to sound like an accusation but it did.

He merely looked at her.

"You didn't tell me." She continued.

He straightened, walked over and sat beside her. "Do_ you_ have one?"

"Yeah."

"_You_ didn't tell me." He caught her eyes before passing his cell over to her. She grumbled but dug her cell out of her bag and gave it to him. She watched him flicked opened her cell with an almost child-like glee before she smiled down into his cell and programmed her number. His cell was more intricate than hers and she frowned at it.

"Let me do it." A brown hand reached for her hand but she twisted away.

"I can do it." She sniffed when he chuckled.

"Fine. Give me the towel."

Her mind on the buttons, she absently passed him the towel but paused when he felt his fingers slide along her hair, brushing against the tangles and drying it gently with the towel.

"You brought a comb in that cave of a bag?" His voice was low and soft against her nape and her fingers clenched on his cell.

" Mm. Yeah."

"I'll get it." From the edge of her eyes she saw him pull her bag closer to him with a foot, she felt his hands on her waist, nudging her forward. "Scoot over ."

She turned his back to him, lifting her bare feet onto the couch and moved further down the couch to give him room. She felt the heat of his body as he folded one of his leg against her back and smiled when she felt him combed her hair with slow, smooth strokes.

"Maybe, I'll do yours, Jake, and we'll have pillow fights after."

Jacob clucked his tongue and pulled at her hair. She grinned.

"So, what have you been doing?"

"What do you mean?"

Jacob shrugged and divided her hair into various sections. "How's the store?"

"The usual."

"Uh huh." He nudged her hip with a knee. "Explain, Bells."

Struggling to understand his mood, she racked her head for something interesting for her to say. "Well..." At first, she found nothing interesting so she started with the usual stuff; the rush of summer crowds, the latest delivery screw up, Misha's break ups with her summer flings, Lulu's new recipe. She embarrassed him with Brian's obvious hero worshiping in the form of the teen's new leather jacket, made him laugh with the story of the middle aged scruffy looking bikers that ate strawberry short cake while discussing Chaucer and Shakespeare. She told him about the pool they had in the shop about whether the food or the books will bring more money, so far Lulu was winning. She told him about her plans to branched out to catering, her plans to change the interior of the book section and use the old balcony that wrapped around her flat for an outside cafe section. She told him about her mother's intention to visit and Charlie's latest fishing expedition where he fell out of the boat.

Jacob laughed. "Oh, I know about that one, dad told me, he was there. I'll show you the picture later."

Bella grinned at him over her shoulder. "Billy took his picture?"

Jacob nodded, smiling as he tugged a comb through her hair. "Rachel got him one for his birthday and he takes it everywhere with him."

"What about you? What have you been up to?"

Bella nodded and smiled every so often about the latest trouble that Gabe and Matthew's been into, told her about life in the rez, complained about Rachel's urge to knock over a wall to make her room bigger, complained about Rachel's insistent nagging to buy a new TV. He talked about the customers he had and their mind boggling treatment of their cars. Bella laughed at the disgust and dismay in his voice, teased him about his obvious success. The continued on, arguing about who was doing better and screwing up less.

They laughed and chuckled and finally, settled into a lull where Jacob continued combing her hair with the same patience and concentration that he gave to his cars.

"You smell like me."

Bella laughed. "Well, obviously." She blinked and looked over her shoulder to where Jacob dropped his forehead on her shoulder, a solid heat on her skin. "Jake?"

His answer to her tentative question was to pull her closer against his chest and wrap his arms around her tight, his face burrowed against her neck, into her hair. He was always so physical and she didn't mind when he was...most of the time. But when Jacob remained quiet, his arms tense and tight around around her, she knew something was wrong.

She touched the hands that was locked around her. "Jake?"

His voice was low and tight, like it was an effort to talk at all. "Just...just let me hold you. Just for a little while."

Her eyes heated and pricked with tears at the simple, yet telling plea. Pain radiated from every angle of his body that she could see, it trembled in the air and bit along her skin.

"Tell me."

If possible, his body tensed even more but then he eased away his arms from around her. Offering her an easy smile, he shook his head. "I'm only glad that you're here, Bells."

This time, it was she that held his arms, keeping them around her. "Tell me, Jake."

His dark eyes were wary. "Tell you what?"

She gave him a look. "You know what."

He shook his head.

"I need to know, Jake." She remembered Leah's words, Embry's, Billy's concern, her father's warning.

"Why?"

"Because."

He pulled his arms from around her but laced their fingers together when Bella shifted, turning slightly towards him. "You don't need to know."

"I _want_ to know."

Bella met his weighing eyes, his lips twisted into a dark smile.

"This tendency you have for self-flagellation is unattractive."

She squeezed his fingers but remained quiet.

He sighed, then gathered her up, pressing her side against his chest and dropped his chin on the crown of her head. "All right."


	20. Misonceptions

Bella waited, waited for Jacob to explain. Her heart in her throat, her stomach in knots. She didn't realize she was actually holding her breath until she exhaled hard when Jacob shook his head.

"Later."

"Wha-._Jake_." She intended to protest but he put a finger on his lips and jerked his head toward the door.

"Someone's coming."

She stopped frowning at him to look over his shoulder but the open doorway was empty. An amused smile curved Jacob's lips when she stared at him suspiciously. Just when she opened his mouth to berate him, Jacob lifted a hand in a counting gesture and just when his fingers disappeared into a fist, a hesitant yet polite knock interrupted their waiting silence. She could only roll her eyes when Jacob gave her a smug grin.

"Show off." She muttered into her hair.

"Jake. The food's here."

"Thanks, Caleb." Jacob called out, his fingers playing with the edges of her hair, twirling a strand around his fingers. His back was against the arm of the couch, his shoulders relax, his face; all smiles. It was as if his earlier tension was just something she imagined, she guessed the quicksilver moods and acting skills was essential in his life. When every annoyance and irritation can make you dangerous to yourself and others, you have to learn to control and forcefully change your moods.

She never gave him and the other werewolves credit for their struggle in controlling their other sides.

She watched a playful smile flutter on his lips, his eyes sliding to the door, the still empty doorway, she noted with a frown.

"Is there something else, Cal?"

She heard a shuffling sound, an uncomfortable cough. "Um, do you want me to close the door?"

She couldn't understand why the simple question made Jacob choked out a laugh. "No, we'll be downstairs in a minute."

"Oh." Another uncomfortable cough. "Okay."

Bella waited until the sound of Caleb's big, noisy steps reached the stairs before returning her questioning gaze to Jacob, she realized and was a bit embarrassed by how focused she must've been on Jacob that she didn't hear the racket that Caleb must have made when he came up the stairs. "What's that all about?"

Her eyes followed Jacob's shifting back as he swiveled and stood and stretched, her eyes widening as she took in his size. She knew Jacob was big and tall but there were moments where she thought 'woah, he's _big_'. She noted that his fingertips nearly reached the ceiling but she blinked and focused on the matter at hand.

"Why didn't he just come in?"

He shrugged but even with his back to her, she knew he was smiling.

"_Jake_."

His dark eyes stayed on hers as he pulled her to her feet. "Caleb was just being helpful."

"Wow, that explains everything." She snarked but only manage to make him smile even wider. "Why did he offer to close the door…" It wasn't actually his rather wickedly amused smile that turned her brain, it was more of her remembering the slightly embarrassed tone in Caleb's voice, or the sound of his hesitation and the shuffling of his shoes. The thought was a smear of purple and blues on her blue, blue sky.

"He couldn't possibly think that we were…"

Jacob grinned. "Could you really blame him?"

Bella sputtered as she felt heat rising up her cheeks, fueled by the look in his eyes. "Why would he…?"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "You're a girl, I'm a boy. We've been here alone for four hours and it's not like our feelings for each other's a secret."

Bella ignored the last part. "Four hours." Her eyes flicked to her wrist watch and suppress a groan as her mind snagged on some other stray thought. "Was _that _what the loud music was all about?"

"Well, you know how these big buildings are. They're quite…" Jacob flashed her a wide grin, "…echoey."

She pressed a hand on her face and could feel the heat pumping out of her skin as she let loose a smothered groan. "They can't actually-"

"Oh, I think they can."

She opened one eyes and glared at him. "You're not helping."

"Sorry." The look on his face showed he was anything but and he threw an arm over her shoulders. "Come on. I'm starving."

Bella's eyes bugged and she dug in her heels, knowing it was a helpless move. "Are you kidding me? I'm not coming down there."

He lifted an eyebrow. "So, we'll stay here? Yeah, that'll help."

"_I'm _staying here. _You, _go down."

He scoffed and bumped his hip to hers, frog marching her to the door. "I'm not going to leave you here alone, Bells."

"Then I'll just go home."

If possible the grin grew even further and she felt the twisting sensation in her stomach lessen. If her embarrassment gave ground for Jacob to smile, even at her expense, so be it. She owed it to him, and she couldn't stand to see him in pain like he was a few moments ago. Besides, she couldn't even explain it to herself just how much she missed that smile.

Although, the fact that Jacob was giving her a pitying stare and was short of patting her head in a condescending, manly matter, _bites_.

"Riiiight. So, I sent you away after we did the deed. That'll stop them from talking."

"There _is_ no deed and what do you mean anyway?"

He sighed, long and heavy and amused. "Really, Bells. All those books you've been reading haven't really taught you anything, have they?"

She tried to grasp the door frame as he pushed her forward but he merely twisted her hands away, circling a hand around her waist and lifting her. "What do you mean—" She gasped as the thought entered her mind. "You mean…they'll think I'm…"

"Man, I'm starving." Jacob put her down, took her hand and pulled her with him, making use of the befuddled state of her mind.

"…that I'm a…I'm a… _booty_ call?"

Jacob sputtered and laughed so hard, he almost made them fall down the stairs.

He was still chuckling over it on his second helping of spaghetti and meatballs, ignoring the heel of Bella's shoe on his toes. _Probably thinks that I'm playing footsie with him_, Bella griped, her eyes glaring at Jacob's hulking frame. That thought, everybody else's sly, knowing looks and Jacob's wicked amusement—he kept laughing every time their eyes met—made her cranky enough that when Quil made eyes on her lasagna she put her hands around her plate and said plainly, "Mine."

Rejected but determined, Quil philosophically set his hazel eyes onto the other girl across the table. The girl smacked the back of his wandering hand with a spoon.

"Don't even think about it, Quil."

Quil's impish face folded into the cutest, most helpless look that made Bella's mouth twitched into a smile. "Aw, come on, Merce. Just one little bite."

Mercy or Merce as she was introduced to her was the same age as Caleb and was in fact his best friend since childhood who also happens to be one of their Quileute part timers. The teenage girl scoffed. "One little bite from you and half of my lasagna will go missing."

Embry sat back, patted his stomach and sighed in satisfaction. "Quil does have a big mouth."

Everyone groaned at the suggestive smile on Quil'a face but before he could say anything offensive or disturbing or anything R rated, Caleb stuffed a forkful of his spaghetti to appease Quil's mouth.

Bella ignored the war that ensued, paper napkins and delivery bags that were tossed around because she was all too aware of Mercy's dark eyes on her. The girl was petite, with a slender build that was even shorter than hers, but small was definitely _not_ the impression that she gave off. Even among the giant structures of Jacob, Quil and Embry—Caleb wasn't so small either—the younger girl radiated this invisible charge that made her seem taller than she really was. Something that she probably needed, considering that she worked in a predominated male line of work.

Bella answered her sharp, weighing gaze with a polite smile.

"You're Chief Swan's daughter, right?"

She didn't even bother to sigh, even when Jacob snorted over his ice tea, she merely took a bite of her lasagna which truly was excellent, her mind was busy cataloging the many spices that rolled on her tongue.

Mercy smiled, the subtle twitch of her lips lightening her dark eyes and making her so serious face into something sweet and impish. The contrast between one expression and the other was startling and strangely appealing. "I heard you often hang out with these miscreants."

Quil sniffed. "Miscreants."

Bella smiled, pulled by her smile. "They're interesting."

The smile stayed and Bella felt the warm glow of her approval run down her spine, the feeling similar to what Jasper could do but it wasn't vampire powers or something like that. It was old fashion charm and overwhelming charisma.

"Interesting, huh?" She spread her gaze over Caleb and the boys. "Yeah, I guess."

Bella wondered why Caleb who sat beside Mercy took one look at his best friend's smile and paled, especially when her smile upped a few levels.

"I've heard a few things about you, Bella."

Bella's eyes lifted from her food. "Oh?"

"That you married young. 18, wasn't it?"

Her smile froze on her face as did Jacob's hand that was lifting his fork to his mouth. His face darkening, his eyes forming a straight, tight line. She didn't need to turn her head to see that Quil and Embry to know that they were listening in on their conversation.

"Mercy." Caleb's voice was soft but filled with warning.

It was ignored.

Mercy cocked her head to the left, the gesture cute and harmless. "You know how people are. They talk."

"They also tend to poke their noses into things that aren't their business." Jacob's tone was low and careful. Bella's heart tripped and quickened at the blank look on his face.

Mercy however, merely lifted her chin. "Which one? Her marriage or the fact that you're fooling around with a married woman?"

"Merce, shut _up_." Caleb leaned into her, hissing under his breath but Mercy was insistent, she threw her question like a challenge, "Well, which one?"

Bella kept her eyes on Mercy's antagonistic stare even as she felt the blast of heat of Jacob's anger, trying to find out why she was so angry and…hurt. Her concentration was broken by Quil's worried whisper and with a look she saw why, Jacob's hands were shaking.

His eyes seemed dark and endless, the skin around them tight.

It wasn't just anger, it was pain. The sight of it pulled at the part of her that always wanted to protect Jacob from harm, which is pretty ironic since the only thing that was more dangerous to Jacob either than a vampire, or a fast moving truck, or a meteor falling into the atmosphere, with the ability to hurt him more than either of those things was her.

Bella Swan. Twenty two years old. Human.

The knowledge of that, edged on with guilt and smothered by love made her straighten her back and faced Mercy head on.

She didn't care what other people thought of her but Jacob didn't deserve the speculation. He did nothing wrong but be a good friend to her, it was more than she deserved, really.

Slowly, she lifted a hand and put it on top of Jacob's shaking hands, drawing his eyes to hers. She squeezed harder and stared into his eyes, pulling him back from his anger. Her thumb soothed the shuddering skin until it stilled. She looked into his eyes until he blinked and took a deep breath, without taking her eyes from Jacob's she answered Mercy's question.

"Both." She replied in a voice that sounded nothing like her; calm and certain. It jerked Mercy's hostile gaze from their joined hands. Bella drew a small breath and was emboldened by the thankful smile in both Embry's and Quil's.

"Jacob's right. What we do is none of your business. But—" She continued when Mercy opened her mouth, her eyes sparking with temper. "I can't let you or anyone think badly of Jacob. I won't let my mistakes make people draw the wrong conclusion about him."

She heard the tremble in her voice so it was obvious that Jacob heard it also. "You don't have to explain, Bella."

"Yes, I do." She paused because it still hurt. Because, despite it all, there was still a deep, deep regret. "I'm not married." She felt his hand tensed under hers. "I didn't get married in the first place." She breathed through the memories and through it, the ragged edges of pain. She focused on the heat of his hand, the subtle textures and the strength of the fingers that was pressed against hers. "There were…complications. Needless to say, we called the whole thing off. And here I am." Her throat clenched around the words so she made a great show of looking at her watch. "It's late. I think I should go. I'll just get my bag from your room."

"OK." The softness and understanding in Jacob's voice made tears pricked her eyes so she hurried out the kitchen, not meeting anyone's eyes.

***

Bella stared at her reflection, wiping water off her face with one of the towels. Her eyes were darker than usual but other than that, she looked…well, she looked better than she thought. She rubbed a hand on her chest over the throbbing pain but she didn't know whether to be grateful or sad or proud that she didn't simply fold unto the floor at the thought of Edward and all that she had lost. In the past, there were days were she did, where great whopping panic attacks overwhelmed her and she welcomed it.

Today was not one of those days. Was not going to _be_ one of those days. She'll make sure of it.

For the first time, mostly, probably because of Jacob's presence, Bella refused to succumb to the vindictive bite of sadness, the bitter pleasure of grief, to indulge her self in a bout of self pity. Jacob didn't need to see her grieving over another man, even though he knew she loved Edward, he didn't need to have it rubbed all over his face.

Although, the thought came and went in her mind, that was one way to established a line between them but she couldn't bring herself to do that, at least not now.

Not when he was the only one she had.

Bella paused out of the bathroom door when she saw Caleb standing up from the Jacob's overlarge couch, as if he was waiting for her; his face anxious and worried.

"I'm sorry. About Mercy." His words stumbled all over each other.

She waved a hand. "It's OK."

"No, it's not." He brushed a hand over his longish dark brown hair. "She didn't mean…well, yeah, she did mean. I mean…" Caleb huffed an aggravated breath that made Bella sympathized with how uncomfortable he looked. He gestured toward the couch, his dark eyes appealed her to listen. "Please, let me explain."

Bella walked around the table and sat.

"Thank you." He sat with his body turned to hers, so they could talk face to face. "She was upset, mostly, for me."

Bella merely stared at waited for him to continue with a blank but pleasant expression on her face. He was twitchy and embarrassed and she wondered absently where Jacob, Embry and Quil went.

"Mercy's protective." He offered her a smile. "And considering how you slammed her down back there, I'm sure you understand." He shifted on his seat, cleared his throat and as if he came to a decision, nodded. "My father cheated on my mother. A lot. Every time he got caught, he promised to never do it again, but he kept at it until three years ago." He shrugged. "Only because he died."

Bella didn't really know what to say and if she did, how to say it so she focused on something else. "Jacob would never have an affair with a married woman."

"I didn't think…" He saw the disbelieving look on her face and smiled. "Well, yeah. Okay. It's just that I heard you were married and I heard about you and Jacob, then I saw you together…"

"I don't even think that you've seen us held hands until today."

"Geez, I may be a sixteen but I'm not stupid, Bella."

This time it was Bella who shrugged, a bit embarrassed when he rolled his eyes and gave her a look. "Anyway, Jacob is a sort of surrogate brother to me and Mercy knows that, that's why…she also respects him a lot, you know. She saw that Jacob disappointed me and that hurt and disappointed her too, and then considering, you know, what Jacob is to us, we don't approve of him getting it on with a married woman. Not to mention, affairs like that never ends well, and Mercy, no matter how strange she shows it, cares about Jacob…"

Bella sighed at the long, rambling yet well meaning speech. "Caleb, I'm not angry at her, especially now that I know she was only protecting a friend."

Caleb stared at her face as if trying to find something that conflicted with her words but found none. "Thanks."

Bella smiled at his evident relief. "You're a good friend, Caleb." He stood when Bella did but kept shuffling his feet that Bella paused and turned back to him. "Is there something else?"

"She hurt you." The look on his face didn't suit the tentative smile that bloomed on his face. "She could see that and she's sorry, she really is but she might not tell you that." His smiled grew crooked. "Her pride, you know, but she'll make it up to you."

Bella blinked and inwardly winced. "She doesn't have to—"

"Mercy has a sharp tongue but she'll never intentionally hurt someone." He paused and tilted his head. "Wait, what am I saying? I mean sure, of course she would go out and intentionally hurt someone but only if they deserve it." He assured her with a grin. "And if she was in the wrong, she considers it a debt so, she owes you one. She'll probably show up in your store and maybe help you out with something."

"Is there any use in refusing?"

"No."

Bella sighed deeply and hooked her bag on her shoulder. "All right."

"She's strong, you know. She can help you out with moving stuff or cleaning up and she's pretty handy with fixing stuff up."

Amused with how sincere he was, Bella spared him a smile. "Are you pimping your friend out to me?"

Caleb flashed her a full blown smile that made her laugh.

They were at the bottom of the stairs when Caleb turned to her. "I told you that Jacob was bummed. He's not when you're here." He smiled. "You're a good friend too, Bella."

The doubt that slithered inside her heart evaporated and she could feel the tension in her shoulders melted away. "Thanks. Thanks, Caleb. I needed that."


	21. The Bitter Truth

She didn't find him in the kitchen.

She didn't find _anybody_ in the kitchen.

With the lack of food, it was deserted but for the scatter of tissue balls and empty delivery bags and containers.

She paused in her search to tidy things up.

She didn't find him in the communal room, instead, she was accosted by two soccer moms and a grandmother who asked her if her store delivers, she gave them her card.

She didn't find him in the garage among the lines of cars and working mechanics.

Relief washed inside her in one sudden swoop though it didn't last long enough for her to enjoy it since his absence worried her.

"He's just in the office, taking care of some paper work."

Bella turned to her left at Quil's voice but didn't find him there, a gentle tap at the top of her sneakers made her jerk away but looking down she saw Quil's amused grin just inches from her feet. His head poked out from beneath a black Mercedes that looked eerily similar to Carlisle's. He straightened the creeper he was on, slid out head first and sitting up, he pointed greasy hands to the room at the second floor where she saw Jacob, Embry and another man talking from the glass wall that looked out to the cars below.

"Hey, when you said go, do you mean to Charlie's house or back to Port Angeles?"

Bella hitched her bag on her shoulder. "Port Angeles."

She frowned when he tsked and shook his head. "You can't."

"I can't." Bella figured she looked as hostile as she sounded when Quil grinned mischievously at her, his hair flopping down to his eyes.

"I didn't mean that we won't let you or anything. You just can't, shouldn't. There's a storm coming."

She blinked. "A storm? Her brown eyes swept to the wide open garage doors and took stock of the clear blue, blue sky before returning them to Quil's bright eyes. "A storm."

He shrugged. "It might not look like it right now but it'll hit less than an hour from now, you'll be stranded, alone, in the dark, in the middle of nowhere."

"This isn't just some evil plot that you devise to make me stay?"

The tips of his lips pulled up in a winsome smile. "Now why would I do that?"

They stared at each other until without even looking, Bella could feel Jacob at her back, a whirl of energy and heat. "There _is_ a storm coming. If you still want to go back, I'll drive you." He offered, stopping at her elbow, looking down at her with inscrutable dark eyes.

"Aren't you suppose to be working?" She asked him, hesitant on making a decision.

He brushed a hand on his already dry hair and she felt a twinge of envy as she felt the damp strands of her hair clinging to her back. "With the storm? I don't think so. We're closing early, a skeleton crew on site to deal with any emergency calls."

She lifted a brow in question.

"People, stranded in the _storm_." Quil explained with a much too innocent expression on his face.

"Fine." She sighed. "I'll stay at Charlie's."

The silence between Jacob and Bella was filled with Quil's humming and interested flicks of his hazel eyes. Caleb skidded to a stop when he saw them. "Hey, Bella, you're going back, right? There's a-"

"Storm coming." Bella cut him off, her tone, low and dull.

"We know." Jacob and Quil said simultaneously toCaleb's twisted, annoyed face.

"I hate it when you do that. How do you always know?"

Quil lied back on the creeper and scooted back under the car he was working on. "Isn't it obvious, Cal? We have super powers."

Caleb scoffed and stomped off in a huff.

***

When he held his hand out to her and asked for the keys, she considered putting up a fight, it was as if he didn't quite trust her to drive herself up to Charlie's, as if she'd be dumb enough to stubbornly make the journey up to Port Angeles in a storm. Well, alright, it might have been something she would do years ago, and gripping the keys to Lulu's Beetle, she had the insane urge to fight him for it but decided it would be too much trouble once she spotted that arrogant, amused glint in his eyes. She'd come upon that look too much to not know a losing battle when she saw one.

She conceded the keys graciously, although she watched—with great amusement and smugness—his effort in folding his substantial build into Lulu's compact car.

He slid the seat back as far as it could go and sort of hunkered over the steering wheel. She couldn't quite hid the snicker when he tried to adjust the rear view mirror and failed since he was just too damn tall.

Not that he needed it, she mused. She remembered another person that didn't need all the props that mortals like her did. The last time she saw Edward played inside her mine, she saw, again, the bitter relief in his light eyes, the ancient grief that curved his lips. There were no denials, no accusation and no blame in his words. There was only understanding.

Which was worse, somehow.

The thought of Edward made her slide a guilty glance at the man who was sitting beside her.

She shook her head to get rid of her thoughts, and caught his attention.

"I think I need some candles and batteries."

He kept her eyes on hers even as he made a turn and she knew he wasn't fooled.

****

Bella didn't know which was worse; the way Jacob ignored her nervous, waiting looks or the alarming anticipation that she felt for the inevitable questions that was coming.

"Do you feel like cooking?"

That question took her off guard. "We just ate."

A small smile appeared on his face. "For dinner, Bells."

"Oh. No, not really."

"Take out then." He shifted gears with a move so smooth and easy that Bella had to stare. "We already had Italian. Thai? Chinese?"

"Chinese would be nice."

She saw him take a glance at the dashboard clock. "Charlie will still be in his office. Want to take some for him to?"

Shame slicked her insides, she hadn't thought of that. To be honest, she hadn't thought of Charlie or of dropping in to say hi. She fought not to squirm in her seat. "Yeah. Um. Good idea. We should do that."

***

So, armed with boxes of Chinese food, they cruised to the Police station. "Hey, how do you know Charlie will still be here?" To lighten the tension that seemed to rise with every passing second, she gave him a teasing smile. "You memorized his schedule or something?"

The smile was for naught. "I drop in from time to time. Check up on him. " He parked the car in a perfect straight line. "I thought he was alone."

Bella watched Jacob's hand twist the key and turned off the engine, eager to get the conversation running. "He was, I rarely come to Forks. Between the business and..." She stopped as she realized the delicacy of the topic.

"Me." Both of his hands clenched tightly on the steering wheel before he picked up the delivery bags in sudden, abrupt movement.

"I didn't mean it the way it sounded."

"I think your meaning is pretty clear. You were avoiding me."

"I didn't. I just, I was still...if I came back it would give your the wrong idea."

"So you avoided me for my own good. Gotcha."

Bella opened his mouth to say something, anything but he was already getting out of the car. "Jake-"

She stumbled out of the car and had to run to match his long, swinging steps, in a desperate move, she took hold of his arm and felt the muscles tighten under her fingers. "I'm not going to apologize. I did what I had to do."

His face was still averted, her posture tense and angry. "Fine."

She pressed her fingers on his skin harder until he sighed in exasperation and tossed her a glance. "What?"

"Thank you, for taking care of Charlie."

His body language relaxed. "Charlie's family."

She felt her heart turned inside her chest. "I know. That's why--thanks." She let go of his arm and squelched the urge to wring her hands. "That's all."

His eyes focused on hers but there wasn't a speck of emotion in them. They weren't dead or empty exactly, just shuttered and closed off, at least from her. She watched his back as he turned away and following him inside, brushed the palm of her hand against her shorts.  
It was burning.

***

Charlie was busy on the telephone when he spotted them standing outside his office. He crooked a finger at them, his pleased smile widen at the sight of the paper bag that Jacob plopped on his desk. With a brisk but pleasant goodbye to the other person on the line, he put down the phone.

He opened the bag and sniffed, sighing with pleasure at the scents that emanated from the bag. "Thanks. Both of you are life savers. I missed lunch and will probably be stuck here for God knows how long." He gave Bella, who took a seat beside Jacob, a considering look. "Heard you were in town, intended to call you."

She didn't bother to ask him 'from who?', things like these had a way of going around, small town and all, so instead she asked. "What's up?"

"I'd rather you stay at Forks tonight, an announcement just came, there's a--"

"Storm tonight. " She cut him off, all the time refusing to look at Jacob. "I heard."

"Yeah?" Charlie dug out a spoon and opened the little white containers, deciding on fried rice. "You heard it in on the radio or something, it just came like seconds ago."

The look she gave Jacob and the small, smug smile on his face made Charlie laugh. He pointed a spoon at Jacob before scooping up a mouthful. "You boys could make a fortune predicting the weather. " He eyed the younger man and narrowed his eyes. "Know what the weather is going to be on my fishing trip next Sunday?"

Jacob crossed his long legs at the ankles, knee bumping against Bella's. "Don't know, yet. I'll call you as soon as I do."

Bella brushed her slowly drying hair and pulled out a scrunchie from her bag and began braiding her hair, all the while, she watched her father and her sort of best friend exchanged wide grins and catch each other up on, she guessed, the last couple of days that they hadn't seen each other. It occurred to her, that to Charlie, Jacob was probably the son he never had. Jacob certainly spend more time with her dad than she ever did, considering that Billy had known Charlie since forever. There was a bond there, something that had existed between man and boy and had only strengthened through the years.

Was it really any wonder why Charlie had always sided with Jacob over Edward?

"Now, Bella, I don't want you alone in the house with a storm coming in."

Bella blinked at the abrupt shift in the discussion.

"Why would I be alone? You'll be with me, right?"

Charlie's shoulders hunched as a mournful look crossed his face. "I'm sorry, honey. I have to stay here and patrol, with the storm and a probable blackout people will sure go crazy."

"Oh." She frowned. "Well, it's alright, I'll be fine on my own."

"I don't want you to be alone."

"If there's any trouble. I'll call you."

"I'll be out patrolling all night, and the telephone lines could go down."

"I'll use my cell and call dispatch."

"Who can be certain that those things won't fail on you?" Charlie scowled at the thought of cellphones. He didn't trust them. "You should stay with the Black's."

"What? No."

She ignored Jacob's raised eyebrow.

"Why not? They won't mind."

Jacob smiled at the way Charlie took for granted that his family wouldn't. Well, he's not wrong.

"Because..." Bella grasped for an idea. "You said it yourself, people will probably go crazy. Somebody needs to watch the house."

Charlie gave her a bland stare and aimed a look at Jacob who gave him a small smile.

"It's not like there's going to be anyone at home, Charlie. Rachel will be at Leah's, they're as thick as thieves nowadays and dad will probably be at Old Quil's." He grinned. "Nobody wants to be in that old house when there's a storm coming. It'll fall on our heads."

Charlie chuckled and sipped coffee from his thermos cup. "Well, all right." He conceded and Bella sighed in relief...seconds too early because Charlie focused his deceptively soft eyes at her. "Then Jake, you'll just have to keep her company." Just as Bella was about to protest, Charlie beamed at them good-naturedly. "It'll make me feel so much better to know that you'll be well taken care off."

Her words of protest scattered inside her mouth, well maneuvered into a corner, she could only nod in her agreement.

***

She slanted a look to Jacob who's silent demeanor didn't even so much as cracked since they left Charlie's office. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"Having him box you in like this."

He shrugged. "Might as well, I wasn't planning on leaving you alone. This way, I can do it without playing hide and seek later."

"Oh."

"Besides, he's right. All sorts of things happens in storms and I'm not talking of the human factor."

"You mean..."

"Something about storms attracts them."

She remembered the Cullens and their baseball games.

"With the noise and the people panicking, it's easier for them to pick us off." Bella smothered a wince at the casual way he said that. "And it's not like the weather bothers them."

"Then shouldn't you be out there, patrolling?"

"I will. Leah will stay with you."

This time she didn't bother to hide the wince. "She doesn't have too, you know."

"I'm not leaving you alone, Bells."

"Then can't you leave me with Seth?"

There was a shadow of amusement in the look that he sent her. "Why?"

"You know why. Leah hates my guts."

"She doesn't hate you. Not exactly." He amended.

"A lot you know."

"We need Seth."

"And you don't need Leah?"

"She's taking herself out of circulation for now."

"Why? Is she okay?"

Jacob sent her a considering look before shrugging off the question.

Silence feel between them again when they arrived home.

She watched Jacob opened the door with his own key. "Charlie gave you a key."

"Like I said." He shuffled the groceries from one hand to another. "I do a lot of dropping by and passing deliveries between our fathers. It's easier this way."

She settled in the kitchen to pull out the candles and rummaged for the emergency lights and flashlight she saw gathering dust in some dark corner while Jacob moved around the house, checking for open windows and such. When he came back to the kitchen, he saw that Bella was standing in front of the fridge with a frown on her forehead. "Do you think I should pack the meet and fishes into the cooler now or later?"

"Later, when the lights actually go out. Just in case it's going to be a long one."

She closed the freezer door and opened the fridge. "Want a soda?"

"Got any beer?" A smile finally made its way to his eyes when she sent him a sidelong glance.

"I'm twenty one, Bells."

She colored. "Right. She pulled out a can of Charlie's beer and handed it out to him, for herself, she pulled out a jug of ice tea. Looking out the window, she saw and heard that the wind was starting to pick up its pace, dragging branches along her windowpane. Hunting for a glass, she shuffled across the floor, trying to ignore the white elephant in the room.

Especially when it started dancing to the beat of her heart.

"You want me to get some sheets and pillows?"

"What?"

"You won't be comfortable staying in your room with Leah, or be comfortable leaving her alone in the living room like a guard dog. You'll be better off in the living room. Neutral territory."

"Oh. Yeah. I'll do it."

Jacob's sigh was filled to the brim with exasperation, he nudged her away from the stairs. "Let's save any injury for later in the evening, alright?" He was already padding upstairs before she stepped out the kitchen. "Nuke the food and I'll lay the sheets in front of the TV." He said from up the stairs.

***

Bella eyed Jacob over her sweet and sour chicken, his battered motorcycle leather jacket was off, discarded carelessly on top of the sofa, his shoes was tossed haphazardly on one corner. He sat on the floor, his eyes on the TV, it's volume set on low while he picked his way through his eggs rolls, making a point of ignoring her, and her anticipatory looks.

Outside, the wind was howling with displeasure, tapping cold, cruel fingers across the windows, doing nothing to ease her nerves.

She slapped her chopsticks on the floor and glared at the TV.

Jacob stopped chewing long enough to ask, "Something on your mind?"

"Something on _your_ mind?"

"A lot." He shrugged, his face blanked from all emotion. "But considering you've been holding everything in for, what is it, two months now without every saying a word, I figured you don't want to talk about it."

"This is about me not telling you that I wasn't married?"

He stared at her for a full minute. "Obviously you don't think that's important enough to tell me."

"I didn't-I _wasn't-_It wasn't on purpose." She finished lamely.

"What? Hiding it from me? Like not telling me that you've been living in Port Angeles all these years?"

Bella firmed her lips. "You didn't ask."

"You should've _told_ me."

Bella didn't know whether to be relieved or distressed at the first display of his anger. She watched as restrain anger darkened his eyes, tightened his jaw, stretched his skin across his high cheek bones.

But Jacob kept his eyes front, his body language tight and tense.

"You _knew_ I would want to _know_." He speared his chop sticks inside the little white box because breaking it would be so easy. As it was so easy to rage, to let loose the burning anger that was flaring up and down his spine as his heart bled.

So easy to _run_.

But Jacob had already learned this lesson. It was proven to him quite brutally that when it came to Bella Swan, the werewolf super powers didn't make things better, no amount of super speed could make him outrun her and no amount of super healing could avoid him from getting hurt.

And he'd learned that only way that he could ever leave Bella, is when _she_ leaves _him_.

Pathetic, to be sure, but fact.

QE-_fuckin'_-D

"You think that I like keeping secrets from you?"

"It crossed my mind." He snapped back.

Temper streaked sharply inside Bella's head. "So I should've just told you I wasn't married. Plop the news like it wasn't important. Oh, and another thing Jake, I'm not married. Let's have cake." Sarcasm dripped and pooled at her feet. "And what? What would it have done? Don't you think it's difficult, hurtful and embarrassing for me to admit that? _Especially_ to you?"

"Hurtful? Embarrassing? _Difficult_? How do think you _I_ feel? You think it doesn't hurt me to find out that the girl I love hid herself away from me for four years? That I didn't feel useless that she didn't want me? You think it hasn't been difficult or embarrassing for me to try to explain, to myself and to the pack how I could just accept you back?"

"You don't know the situation. What could I have done-"

"You could've told me. You could've came to me all those years ago."

She scoffed. "You'd like that, won't you? For me to fall into your arms, weeping. Once again, Jacob Black to the rescue. You would've like to tell me I told you so-"

Bella jumped when he slammed a hand on the floor and she swore she heard something cracked but she didn't take her eyes away from his averted face. She regretted it when slowly, Jacob turned his face to hers, the impact of his eyes on hers singed her skin. "Where do you get off, talking to me like that?" His voice was low and even, his stature tense and still. "You know I wouldn't have done anything of those things. I would've helped you, taken care of you." He bit off out of clenched teeth. The nature of his words so opposite to the swirling violence in his eyes.

It was like all her mistakes, all of the hurt she had done to everyone she loved nested right inside those eyes, and the look pricked and slashed at her heart and she lashed out at it. "That's _exactly_ why I didn't. _You_ were my problem. I didn't _want_ to need you. I didn't _want_ to love you."

A flash of lightning followed by a crack of thunder hit so close, it rattled the windows and beat along their skin, quickening their hearts, but maybe, that was just the result of the words that echoed between them, inside them; bouncing off their chest, breaking and shattering hearts.

As if responding to the moment, the lights cut off and for the seconds where darkness reigned and chased away by the brutal glare of the emergency light that turned on automatically, Bella and Jacob kept their eyes on each other.

"Ah." Jacob's voice was soft as she stared, as she couldn't move away from the raw, naked look on his face. Like watching a train wreck, some kind of unnatural disaster. "That changes things."

Her lips trembled, the words that she had uttered, stung her lips and burned her throat.

"You regret loving me."

Her breath hitched and her eyes watered but she couldn't blink, she couldn't move, all she could think of was to rewind the last few minutes of their conversation.

"You said that I don't know your situation." He moved, inching his upper body so he faced her, his eyes were even darker in the shadows, the bright light at the corner only seemed to throw even more shadows across his face. "You don't know mine."

It hurt, _hurt_ to meet his eyes, to see the emotion that blossomed darkly like a postmortem bruise. "That was what you were really asking, right? Back at the garage. How it was for me without you? Well, I'll tell you."

Instinct made her shake her head, to try to back away but he reached a hand and held her firm, pulling her closer, the sheets slid under her feet, making it easier for him to hold her, right where he wanted her.

"When news of you didn't come, when you chose not to tell me anything...I thought you were dead." He bit off the words though the husky, rich texture of his voice, the voice that she loved so much, were still low, taking a whispery tone that was more suited to tell bedtime stories about princesses and happy endings. He pulled her closer until there were face to face, until she was kneeling in the space between his long legs. "You know why?" He asked softly, intimately, sending shivers across her skin. "Because the Bella that I knew, vampire or human, she would have sent me news. Nothing short of death would've stopped her."

Bella stared into his eyes, mesmerize by the sparks she saw in there, she didn't move away when he lifted a hand and touched her neck, his thumb brushing the soft skin that hid her pounding heart beat. "So when you didn't. I assumed you were dead." Her breath hitched, caught in her throat as tears welled. "I wanted war, I wanted revenge, I _hungered_ for it but things as it were...Well, I didn't get it." His eyes shimmered with memory, with emotion as it swept her face. "I mourned you. I grieved you until I thought I would die from it."

She didn't,_ couldn't _stop the tears from sliding down her cheeks, he smiled; faint, unamused, not at her but of some far off memory. "I didn't really understand your out of character recklessness, that bit about the motorcycles. I was game, but I didn't understand it. But I understand now. The pain, it was unbearable but the numbness, well, that was something else." His hands; hard and rough slid up and down her arms. "I threw myself into the pack, into the _hunt_, that's what I was doing. I wasn't protecting anymore, I was _hunting_. I hunted down and killed as many bloodsuckers I could find. I really honed my animal instincts." The smile on Jacob's face was wild and fierce. "Whored myself a little." Bella closed her eyes when he swept his fingers in her hair, loosening it from the braid, she opened them back up when he tighten his hold on her hair, when one of his hands, cupped her neck, a scalding heat on her nape. "Apparently, a lot of girls consider me attractive. It was another release, another escape. It didn't last long as I got tired of it." Her eyelashes fluttered when he drew her fingers to his mouth and kissed each fingertip, than just laid his lips on the back of her hand before rubbing it on his cheek. "I finally built a garage with Embry and Quil, helped with the tribe, became Alpha..."

She pressed her lips together when he returned his fingers to her hair and brought their faces so close, their noses touched. There was no mistaking the pain in his eyes. "...but you were an _aching_, _open_ wound inside me, Bells, and it didn't hurt less through the years. Time," He continued as he slicked a finger on the curve of her cheek. "...did nothing but pass."

His eyes grew intense and sharp as the soft yet bitter look on his face turned to anger once again. "But even, with everything that happened, everything I went through, not _once_, not even a minute, a _second_, have I _ever_ regretted loving you."

"_Jake_." The name was a sob in her throat but he wasn't listening.

"You know why I take so much crap from you?"

She stared, that was the only thing she could do at this point.

"Because I know that you love me back. I forgive you for not telling me and for saying that you regret loving me and all the unnecessary pain you put us through because I know just how much you love me."

The pressure in her chest was painful and his words were adding to it.

"And because I know, you might feel like you should feel regret for loving me out of guilt or misplaced loyalty or whatever but you don't. Not really, not if you were honest."

His hands were tight on her skin, but it wasn't painful, what made fresh tears welled up in her eyes was the bright sheen in his eyes, the way his voice broke over her name. And the realization that after tonight, she could never, ever, build up any kind of wall between them again cause he already tore and ripped at the foundations.

"Do you know how I know that?"

"Jake, please."

_Don't say it. Don't say it, _she chanted inside her mind.

"Because you came back."

She took a sharp breath, ready to deny all. "I came for--"

"For Charlie?" He snorted. "Why would you care what happens to him when you didn't before?"

"That's not fair."

"You could've stayed at your mother's, you could've stayed wherever and I would be none the wiser but _you_ _came __back_, here, where sooner or later, you knew that I would know."

She shook her head, violently this time.

"When I first came to your store, you weren't surprise. You've been waiting for me to come, in fact, you expected me to come as soon as I knew. And I did. Pathetic? Yes, Predictable? Yes. Stupid? Definitely. Regret it? No. I don't do things that I don't want to, bells. And if you admit it, neither do you. There is a reason why you didn't marry him, there is a reason why when I kiss you, you kiss me back, there is a reason why you are here, where I am...and he's not."

_He said it, _Bella stared at the passion he put into his words, the utter conviction in his expression and found out that she couldn't deny it, any of it.

So she stared at him and he stared back.

At least until a knock broke their stillness.

***

A/n: The distorted and kind of unfinished looks was intended to go with Bella's nervous set of mind.


	22. The Sweetest Conclusion

A/n: To understand this chapter, you should go check out my series, drive this ocean road which was a ficfanmix, especially Slow Me Down and Congratulations. I give thanks to Rookie of the Year for if not their awesome music, this chapter would not be here. Their songs that I heard while I wrote this was My Ocean, Sooner or Later, Sweet Attention. Oh and Copeland's Brightest, the Acoustic Version.

****

**J**acob inched his paws forward and let it drop into the wet mud with a splat, he couldn't help but grin at the feel of cool earth between his toes.

The storm didn't only appeal to vampires, it appealed to werewolves too.

Jacob's black lips peeled back across his muzzle, his razor sharp teeth glinting in the thunder streaked night.

Darkness crept slowly across the trees like greedy spidery fingers.

His grin was fierce with a streak of mean when lightning slashed the sky and thunder cracked much too close that his fur seemed to crackle with it.

He turned from the crashing waves and the still stones of the ocean's cliffs and rocks, delighting in the way the wind and water stung and bit his skin.

His breath was harsh, not by exertion but by emotions; dark and chaotic with spear-like edges, it chased along his skin like fire ants.

He eyed the dark inky sky. A new moon was close.

The wind slapped him back and he pushed against it as he ran even harder out of pure spite.

Growling low in his throat, he snapped his jaws at the wind as if it has a corporeal body to bit into, to tear and worry and claw.

One by one, the pack met at the rendezvous spot and naturally fell into step behind their Alpha in a deep, wide V. They could feel the sharp, biting emotions inside Jacob, feeding the electricity in their blood, spurring their paws to go faster, harder, fiercer.

Their howls lashed back at the roaring wind, rising above the crack of thunder as they ran like ghosts in the darkness.

***

Jacob slicked his hair back and strode out of the edges of forest to Charlie's backyard. He washed the worst of the muck with a hose, his body heat will take care of the water that clung to his skin.

He climbed the stairs of the back porch, rolling his damp shoulders, wiping and shaking his hair like he was a dog or in this case, wolf. He paused when he heard footsteps but continued flicking off water when he heard the all too fast heartbeat that says werewolf.

Leah smelled like pack and forest and earth and something spicy and sweet.

His stomach growl, reminding him that he haven't fed to his heart's content just yet.

The back door open to show Leah's sneering face, on her hands were a towel and his jeans. "Put this on. You might as well be naked with that on."

Jacob took the towel and looked down on himself and managed a smirk at the wet condition of his boxers. "Nothing that you haven't seen before."

Leah lifted an eyebrow. "The question is, has she?"

Jacob didn't answer and merely pulled his jeans over his boxers and rubbed his hair with the towel. "Did you eat her?"

A broad, fake sweet smile bloomed on Leah's face. "No, I gnawed on her a little though. She'll live."

"Did you girls have fun?"

"Oh _yeah_." She agreed with an equally fake cheer in her voice. "We braided each other's hair, did each other's nails, had pillow fights in our underwear and pondered on the mysteries of love...oh wait, that's what you guys do."

"Ha." Jacob didn't need to peek into the living room to know that Bella was there, the slow, steady breathing that he could hear from where he was standing told him that she was asleep.

"So, anything happen?"

"No, things were pretty quiet. We picked up a scent near the hot springs but it looked like they were just passing by."

Leah's golden eyes narrowed at the darkness across from them. "They're always passing by these days."

Jacob's bared his teeth in a dark smile. "Probably because bad little vampires keep ending up missing when they come around here."

Jacob tossed a look at where Leah's eyes were focused on him. "What?"

"Your mood is better. You practically bit my head off when I came."

He shrugged. "You know how it is after a run."

She gave a sound of agreement and walked down the back porch. He watched as she tipped her face toward the sky, letting the raindrops pelt her face. "I know. I'll miss that. And this most of all."

"What? The rain?"

Thunder streaked and boomed but Jacob and Leah didn't flinched, instead they lifted their heads to wallow in the sound.

"Being a part of this." She swept a hand to encompass all that she could see, awe and respect in her voice. "Of _nature_."

He didn't need to ask what she meant. He already knew. Even now he could still feel the steady beat of the earth beneath his feet, the sounds of insects and water and wind wavering in his ear. The sense of belonging, of connection he felt with the land, with _his_ land whenever he was wolf that gave him and strength and confidence that stayed inside him when he phase back.

"Watch your step, Jake."

He leaned against the open door, his dark eyes on hers. "You're the one standing in the rain."

"Have you told her?"

"About what?"

"You should." When Jacob remained quiet she narrowed her eyes. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

When he finally talked, his voice was soft and kind. "I'm not Sam, Leah."

"Never said you were." She lifted a hand to wipe her face. "She needs you too much to know what she's getting into."

He caught the key that she threw at him, a glint of silver before tearing off into the forest in a blur of black and white.

He watched her run in human form, trying to burn off the excessive energy that built up once you haven't phase for some time, the wolf was a restless creature that couldn't stand quiet for long, especially when a storm is passing through. It excited their blood, heating it 'till the boiling point.

Each flash and thunder was a song, singing, pulling their eyes to the sky where blinding light crash and split the sky. He wondered how long it would take for Leah to surrender and finally phase.

He shook his head, _Leah chose a hard path to walk on, but then again things are rarely easy for Leah._

When he stepped inside, it only took him a second to sense her eyes on him.

Black eyes clashed with brown in the soft beckoning candlelight. She stood in the middle of the hallway between the kitchen and living room, wearing a soft, huge gray T shirt that hung to her knees, a deep blue throw was wrapped around her shoulders and his nose caught her scent. She no loner smelled like him, instead she smelled sweet and fresh and cool, like night blooming jasmines.

Her hair was mussed and her face was soft with sleep.

His heart twisted into tiny little knots.

"You're dripping on my floors."

A smile almost made it to his lips but his answer was as bland as her voice. "I'll mop it up."

He did exactly that before stepping into the living room. "I thought you were asleep."

"I was."

"Did we wake you?"

"No. Where's Leah?"

"She went for a run."

"Oh." Her eyes slanted to where he was standing, focusing on his face rather than his naked chest and damp hair. "Is everything OK?"

"So far." Ignoring the weary look in her eyes, he passed her and scowled at the empty white boxes that was supposed to be his dinner. "Is there any food left?"

She brushed a hand over her face and gestured toward the kitchen. "I made some sandwiches."

"Great." He paused when she shifted and faced him, her eyes searching close to resolution passed on her face.

"If I came back and told you like you wanted me too, what would you have thought? What would you have done? You'd think that I've decided, that I've made my choice. That I chose you."

Jacob crossed his arms and looked away from her demanding eyes, slowly, he sat on the sofa's arm. "And that would be wrong?"

"Yes, it would be wrong. Just because I didn't marry him, didn't mean I'd stop wanting to be with him, or that I decided against him or of being turned. It wasn't—it was far from over between us. _I_ didn't want it to be over between us."

She gathered the blue material tighter around her. "Everything was a mess, nothing made sense. I didn't make sense. It was just, everything was..."

"A mess?"

A vulnerable smile lifted the corner of her lips into a smile that wasn't a smile at all. "Yes, I didn't...I couldn't concern myself with you or anything else." Her brow wrinkled as her eyes drifted into other places, other times." I refused to think of you. If I saw you, if you came to me, I would've wrapped myself around you and..."

"And that's bad?"

Bella's heart stuttered at the soft, careful question. "Yes, it's bad." She took a step nearer to him but stopped when his eyes snapped to hers. "Jake, don't you see? That was the problem, my feelings for you..." She sighed, exasperated with herself. "Remember the time when we talked in your bedroom? When..." The scene replayed inside her mind and seared her heart. "..you were recovering from the fight with the newborns?"

A short laugh escaped Jacob mouth. "How could I forget? It was the first time you admitted you love me." The smile was small and bruised. "Finally."

Pain pulsed inside Bella's chest and beneath the layers of cloth, she gripped her fingers tightly. "I cried, cried all the way from your house to mine, it got so bad I had to stop. Edward found me and drove me home and held me while I cried, while I sobbed your name into his chest. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore and Edward, he looked at me." Bella's face twisted with the memory of that face, in pain because she was in pain. "He offered to leave me."

Bella almost cringed at the look that Jacob gave her before he smothered his expression and gave her his Alpha face, the one that was pleasantly bland. "But he didn't."

_Was this really worth it? _Her heart cried out at her, accused her. _It hurts him. And that hurts us._

"He didn't because I refused his offer, because I've decided. Because I've made my choice. Because I knew I love him."

"More than you love me."

Her lips trembled but she opened them anyway, and shred his heart to pieces. More than she already did.

"Yes." Her eyes closed, not wanting to see the wounds she created splattered across his face. She took a deep breath and opened them again. "Then you disappeared and I...I t_ried_ to understand, to handle it but as the wedding drew close all I could think of was 'where is Jacob?', 'is he hurt?','why did he leave?','was it all my fault','will he come back?','will I see him again?'." It was hard to meet his eyes but she did and it was harder still to not stretch her arms and hold him. "It didn't help that Charlie was frantic about finding you and that the pack stonewalled me." She smiled, sadly, softly, painfully. "And then you came back."

It wasn't until his eyes drifted down on h that she realized her hands had wormed their way out of their covers and that her fingers were brushing the white seashell carving there. The one that he secretly gave to her on that night. "You came home and I was so relieved, so happy and was so afraid and filled with what I felt for you that I couldn't bear to let you go. So I held on to you, I clung to you but you left again." Tear coated her throat and when her voice broke she dropped her eyes to her naked feet. "I broke my promise that night, the one I made the first time he offered to leave, that I'll never let him see me cry for you again." She drew a ragged breath. "But when I found out that you were gone, I thought it was just a dream, that I dreamed all of it and that you didn't come back at all. The pain was huge, indescribable, I couldn't keep it inside. Ironically, Edward was the one that showed me the added charm, here I was crying my heart out because of another boy and he tried to comfort me by showing me that you _were_ there, that it was no dream. But my heart wasn't comforted. You were gone, and that was all that mattered. So I cried and cried while he held my hand, helpless. In the morning, before he had to go, he offered to leave again."

"And you refused him again."

She nodded, her eyes wet and large. "I was so sure of him, you see. It was him. He was only. Then at the wedding..."

"I was there again."

She nodded, brushing a trembling hand against her eyes.

Jacob's hands trembled, he wanted to hold her, touch her but he dug his fingers into his arms.

"He found me, hiding in a closet, in my wedding dress, weeping into my tasteful, expensive flower bouquet beside brooms and mops and three spiders."

"Did he offer to leave again?"

"No. He made the decision for me. We made our excuses and while the family moved to Alaska, Edward accompanied me to Renee's. I was so angry at him, I wouldn't hear of him leaving me. I cried, I blackmailed, I accused him of wanting to do that all along and that he didn't love me after all...and finally, finally he agreed, he agreed to come back for me if he saw that I was ready." Bella shook her head slowly. "He always wanted me to go out in the world more, to live a human life, to taste possibilities. He wanted me to travel, to...." She stopped, her eyes far away. "He wanted that for me, mortal years where I'll be free to do anything I wanted. So he left me there where I sulked and thought bitter thoughts that if I only--" She slid guilty eyes to the man who sat so still and silent in her living room.

"..that if only you didn't love me...:" He was Alpha Jacob again, his face neutral, unreadable. "Do you want me to apologize?"

"Not like you would anyway. Besides, iIt wasn't your fault. Like I said, the fault lies with me. It was me that needed fixing."

"So you think that loving me was something that needed to be fixed?"

Bella blinked. "I didn't mean it like that. It was just, from my perspective..." She stopped and just looked at him. "I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm just trying to explain how it was for me."

Jacob held her eyes for a few lingering seconds then dropped his eyes and waved a hand for her to continue.

Bella took a moment to settled her thoughts. "He wanted me to experience, to live so I did. I tried everything I could, did everything I could, focusing on proving him wrong. So what if I stay human? So what if learn a few things? That I went to college and met new people? It wouldn't change a single thing. It wouldn't change me or the fact that I love and want him."

"A year came and went, and another where I got my hands on everything and packed _experiences _in every single moment of my days but I got restless, unsatisfied with his visits and calls. I showed him that 'here's where I've been', 'here's what I did' but hey, I still want you." Her brow wrinkled and folded into an expression of confusion. "But he only looked at me and shook his head and left again."

Jacob watched as Bella shook herself from memories that clung like cobwebs; dainty, fragile.

Haunting.

"It was more than a year ago that I started to panic. What if he didn't want me, what if this was just an excuse to get rid of me? I knew better but...I needed something to hold on to, something that reminded me of him."

"So you moved back. Here."

"It was the one decision that I didn't need to fight over. It's familiar, it was where I met him, where I fell in love with him..."

"What did he say?"

"He was happy. He wanted me to see Charlie again, to be among familiar faces again." Bella's brown eyes swept his face, weighing his expression. "But mostly, I think he was waiting, waiting for me to come and see you, to meet you again."

"You didn't."

"I was trying so hard to prove that all I wanted was him, that you were...and I thought that..."

"That I've forgotten you."

Her eyes shone at him in appeal. "Hoped for it. Feared it. It was hard, knowing you so close but I concentrated on everything else but that. I was starting Bells, I had Charlie, I was also making friends...I tried, I tried so hard not to think of you...."

Her eyes froze on the bitter yet amused smile on his face. "How is that going for you so far?"

Her lips opened, closed, than opened again. "I don't know what to say to you. I don't know how to explain--"

Jacob sighed, and it was long and heavy and tired and she looked on, helpless, without words.

Finally, finally, he lifted his eyes where candle light shimmered and reflected back into darkness and looked at her with the expression that was hers. "Come here, Bells."

Concerned, she tilted her head in confusion. "Jake--."

He lifted a hand. "Come here."

Bella shifted her feet and couldn't help but think that something else was happening, that his simple gesture, one that he'd done thousand times before, and her walking toward him was more thatn what it seemed. Her heart pounded in premonition when she looked into his eyes and made herself stop but he pulled her between his legs and brought their eyes level with merely a few inches separating them. The eye contact was unbearably intimate that Bella's eyes shied away from his.

His fingers lifted her chin so that her eyes shifted back to his and Bella's thoughts scattered in panic.

His voice was low and throaty and echoed inside her chest. "How do you feel, Bella?"

Confused by the sudden out of topic question, she forgot her embarrassment and blinked back at him. "Um. OK?"

A slight amused smile curved his wide lips as he slid a finger down the curve of her neck. "What do you feel?" His eyes swept her face and she felt his gaze on her skin like flickering embers."Here, near me. Close to me."

_How do I feel? _She repeated inside her mind, her eyes glued ton his. The look inside those two deep eyes made her all too aware of the heat, the roughness of the fingers on her chin, that he was holding her within that shivering distance while the silence stretched on and on and on. Being so near, she could count his eyelashes if she wished, the thought brought her eyes to linger and wander to the tangle of black hair that framed his face, that curled against his shoulder. They shifted to the wide angles of his cheekbones, that wide firm mouth, the stubborn and hard lines that formed his jaw. What she saw wasn't just a handsome face but a familiar one, a beloved one, a face that had burned itself into a corner of her memory where whispers of _Jacob, my Jacob_ played over and over again.

Her breath caught in her throat when she met his eyes again, the heat in them made anticipation hover between them like the dark.

But this time, this time it was Bella who leaned forward and press her lips to his.

It was she who lifted her hands and encircle his neck.

She who whispered his name into his mouth.

The kiss was warm soft, lazy and lingering, their lips melding and moving with gentle pressure.

Impossibly moved, painfully aware, Bella stepped close and breathed deep, he smelled, she thought, like damp earth, of forest, of pine and rain and tasted like, she curled her tongue softly against his, sunsets and sunrises.

Heat spread from her stomach and spread to her curling toes and when she tilted her head, deepening the kiss, the heat slid to her heart where it took root and burned with a steady fire. It beat thickly and fast inside her chest, racing against his.

It was with giddy delight that she swept her hands along his skin, relishing the broadness of his shoulders, the firmness of his back, the way muscles jump and shift under her fingers

She could feel his hands trembling, not with anger but with other dark emotions, on her back although his mouth remained gentle on hers. The contrast between the strength of his grip and the softness of his mouth excited her.

But the kisses didn't stay gentle and soft for long.

The sounds of their lush, open mouth kisses filled the air and beat back the howling winds, it thrummed on their skin where restless fingers touched and wandered.

....his breath scalded the inside of her mouth.

When he slipped a hand under the soft material of her shirt, setting off little explosions up and down her spine, their kisses turned dark and edgy and hungry.

The tip of his callous thumb brushed against the underside of her breast and, gasping in surprise, she arched, spilling the curve of one naked breast into his hand....

The world tipped and tilted and Bella found herself staring at the ceiling, pressed deeply into the lumpy cushions of Charlie's old sofa by Jacob's massive weight. Pulling air into her lungs as well as she could, she blinked and tried to clear her head.

Jacob was a hot and tense and silent wall on top of her, his hands wrapped around her, holding her to him so tightly she felt every sharp angle and ridge of his hard body.

Infact, she could feel _everything_.

She could feel the flush of heat starting to climb back to her face and she shifted, trying to see his face which he tucked into the curve of her neck, his breath moist and fast on her shoulder.

When she moved, she felt his hands tensed even more around her but she persevered. She stopped when she heard him hissed sharply. "_Stop_ that."

"Jake-"

He shushed her firmly.

She tried to wiggle an arm but Jacob actually growled at her.

There was a rush of air and motion and she found herself freed, she craned her head and saw that Jacob was sitting on the floor beside the sofa. His shoulders still look tense, his arms even more so when he lifted them to rub his face.

Bella sat up and watched as he took great gulping breaths. "Are you all right?"

The look he sent her was accusing although his lips curved upwards. He shook his head and pushed his hair back from his face. "Charlie trusted me with you but I don't think he'd appreciate it if he walked in on us rolling on the floor."

"We weren't on the floor." She pointed out with a mumble.

His eyes glowed in the muted light, his smile sly. "_Yet_."

She slid her eyes away at his deep, low chuckle, embarrassed before his words sunk in. "Wait. Charlie? You mean he's here? He's coming?" Mortified, she took a glance at the room, down on herself as if she could hide any evidence of what they were doing.

Jacob lifted an eyebrow. "Relax,.he's still fifteen minutes away."

"Well, don't just _stand_ there. Here, wear your shirt. Put on your shoes." She made a quick, panicky sound. "Where's your jacket?"

He rolled his eyes. "Rather than worry about me, you should worry about yourself. There's no way you could lie to him with how you look."

She lifted worried eyes to him. "What? How _do_ I look?"

"Like you just made out with me." He snickered at her red face. "Go up, pretend you're asleep. I'll handle Charlie."

Bella jumped to her feet and tried to gather the blankets but Jacob pulled them from her arms. "Go."

She was halfway up the stairs before she glared at him from over her shoulder. "Stop it."

He blinked innocent eyes at her from over the ball of sheets. "What?"

"Stop _looking_ at me."

His grin was slow and deliciously wicked. "You can't blame me for wondering. _You_'re the one who teased me."

Her hands itched to push him down the stairs and as if he knew, he crowded her until she had no choice but continue walking, all the while she could feel his eyes on her back.

Her face was painfully blotched with red when she stood inside her bedroom, especially when he just stood there and sent a considering look at her bed.

Laughing softly, he nudged her to the bed and lifted her duvet, "Get in."

"What, you're not joining me?" She snarked.

"Don't mind if I do."

She couldn't help but smile even as she kicked him before snuggling inside her blanket. She glared at him when he touched the headboard of her bed, sighed and shook his head. "No, this won't do."

"Will you _shut_ up?"

"You can't kiss a guy like that and expect him to have clean and chaste thoughts when he sees you in bed."

She threw a pillow at him which he caught with ease and made of a show of fluffing it before he sat beside her and put the pillow behind his back. He tipped his head against the top of hers and laced their fingers together, lifting them up for inspection.

She felt herself relax by inches by the touch of his fingers between hers. "I really don't know what to do with you, Jake."

"Both of us love you, Bella but you know what makes us different, except for the whole vampire and werewolf thing?"

Jacob felt her shake his head under his. "You gave him a chance. Twice." He rubbed his cheek against his hair. "So give me mine. Love me, no holding back this time."

She brought her other hand to their joined hands. "Why do you always have to step over the lines, Jacob?"

She could feel him smile even before she heard the chuckle.

"Because, Bella, honey, _you_ keep moving them."

She pondered about the truth of that until at the edges of sleep, she felt soft warm lips on her forehead and his voice whispering in her ear.

The answer was sleepy, almost a mumble but true and heartfelt. "I love you, too."


	23. The Waiting Game

It took her four days.

Four days, from the morning that she woke up, thought about what happened the night before and immediately called Jacob and said that she was going back to Port Angeles. Not to run away, at least that was what she said, but to think.

She needed time to think.

It sounded lame even in her head but Jacob didn't comment negatively. He merely wished her a safe drive.

Which, of course made her feel even more guilty and stupid.

It took her four days.

Four days where the solemness, the heat and the certainty of his words echoed inside her head and the feel of his mouth pulsed on her skin. The memory of the kiss shot to the surface of her mind in odd and awkward moments, resulting in more than her usual trademark clumsiness and red faced stuttering that drew speculative looks from Lulu, Tina, Misha and even the usually oblivious Brian.

Damien however, merely looked at her with an amused, indulgent look on his face. Of course, that was how he usually looked at her. Like she was a three year old that did something interesting.

It certainly didn't help.

It was on the fourth day that her accident prone behavior forced Lulu, with something that looked uncomfortably similar to glee on her face for Bella's comfort, to banish her into the kitchen where she sat on a high stool behind one of the tables and, ignoring Damien's amused smirk, hid her face behind the latest fiction about--roll eyes with irony--werewolves.

Oh, if Jacob saw her reading it...

She dimmed the grin on her face when she saw Misha raised a brow and exchanged a smug look with Tina who passed by carrying a load of dirty dishes.

It took her exactly four days to finally noticed the added charm on her bracelet and even then, much to her dismay and horror, was because Tina pointed it out to her.

"Hey, " she chirped as she dumped the plates into the kitchen sink. "You finally added a charm. What is it? What is it? Let me see."

It was then, when Tina grabbed her wrist and squinted that she finally saw the tiny yet detailed carving of a dark brown wooden spoon, dangling innocently a few chains away from wolf and sea shell.

She gaped at it and not hearing Tina's offended 'hey!', pulled her hand closer to her face and focused her eyes intently on the spoon and felt her throat clutched with too many jumbled emotions that had her fingers scrambling, digging inside her pocket for her cellphone. Flipping it open, she pressed the number 2 speed dial.

With her eyes still on the charm she waited, her mouth still hanging open, for Jacob to pick up. When he did, he was laughing and the sound of it spilled over the phone to her ear and into her heart, her mouth curving into a wide grin that she didn't see but everybody else noted.

Lulu was smiling in a satisfied manner while Lulu and Tina sighed, murmuring 'she has him on speed dial' to each other while Brian and Damian rolled their eyes.

"Hello?" His voice, that familiar husky tone of it, made her smile even wider.

"Jake?"

The amusement in his voice stilled but she could sense the smile on his voice. "...Bella?"

She heard something heavy clanged against a solid object and her brow furrowed at the loud, hammering and the voices of people yelling over the general racket.

"Bells, will you wait a sec?"

"OK." She squirmed on her seat, already starting to regret her impulsiveness when he murmured something to somebody. There were a sound of movement and the rustle of clothes and when the sounds lessen, she knew he was walking away from the crowd. She wondered whether she interrupted something.

When his voice came on again, it was warm and affectionate. "Hey, what's up?"

She scratched her nose in sudden awkwardness, suddenly, the bubbly, golden feeling that whirl inside her earlier on made her feel silly and somewhat shy. "It's not really important. I mean, if your busy-"

"Bells, " The tone of his voice was amusedly patient. "Talk to me."

"It's just that I--" A gushing female voice twittered from out of the speaker and she halted. Her voice faded even more when Jake murmured back. "No, honey, don't touch that."

She felt her heart plummet and twist at the low rumble of Jacob's chuckle, murmuring yet again in that tone of voice that made her heart ache. His words didn't register because her mind was ruthlessly honing onto the point that Jacob called the nameless and faceless girl honey...as in _honey_...as in the special way Jacob called her and only her.

From the sound of her voice, Bella knew that the girl was standing awfully close to Jacob and that Jacob was letting her, she must be practically be on his lap. She bit her lip through the haze of disbelief, the prickles of pain and the sharp pinch of jealousy.

Jacob did mention that he didn't stay chaste, and why would he? And considering their history, she wasn't in the position to expect it of him but...after last night....Her mind flinched at how her imagination supplied her with the picture of Jacob wrapped around numerous faceless woman even though how much she berated herself that she knew better.

It was obvious that Jacob wasn't the type of man who'd lack female companionship, and she could barely blame her sex for being attracted to him when she of all people should know what the attraction was.

It wasn't just looks, even though his looks were spectacular and then some, without being perfect or intimidating to the female senses. It was the...the...he was just so...Bella scowled at her phone and was barely able to keep her fingers from twitching and 'accidentally' hang up on him.

The girl spoke with a lisp, for God's sake. And was probably simpering and batting her eyelashes at him.

She bet a lot of guys thought the lisp was sexy. _Stupid men and their hormones..._

Bella didn't realize that Lulu saw the dark expression on her face and sent an inquisitive look to Tina who mouthed "Jacob" to her, she was too busy fanning the fire that was rapidly rising inside and thankfully, swallowing up all of her hurt.

It was just four days ago that he asked her, in such a sweet and sincere manner that warmed her heart, to give her a chance and already, he was flirting with another girl, right in front of her! Well, through a phone but still...

Fueled with self righteous anger she was about to hang up on him since it seemed he'd forgotten about her anyway but before she ram her finger on the button, Jacob cut his little conversation short.

"Sorry, honey. I'm a little busy here."

She couldn't help but gaped at the phone at the dismissive tone in his voice. She pulled away the phone from her ear and stared at it like it had suddenly growled at her. Who was this condescending jerk? Where was her Jacob who was kind, respectful and warm hearted?

"Give me a kiss before you run along." He heard him laugh and the loud sound of a kiss.

_Give me a kiss before you run along?, _Bella choked with indignation that was speared with something uncomfortably akin to jealousy, not that she would admit it. That burning twist in her stomach was anger.

Really.

She blinked and only return the phone back to her ear when she heard him call her name. "Sorry about that Bells, she was--"

The last thing she wanted to talk about was another girl who kissed him. Especially when he was the one who asked her to do it. "How can you talk to her like that?" She barked at the phone.

"What?"

_Oh, listen to him. What, was she? Deaf? Didn't he expect her to be able to listen to that? Was that intentional?  
_  
"How can you talk to her like that? You can't talk to a girl like that! And really, Jake. I expected more from you. You used to know how to treat girls with more respect-"

"Wait. What? Her? You mean _Katie_?"

_Katie. Hah. She's probably blond with big boobs.  
_  
"I don't know, Jake. Have you been kissing that many girls that you have a hard time remembering their names?" She wanted to bite her tongue when she saw Damien and Lulu whirled toward her, half grinning, eyes glinting with interest.

"Excuse me?"

_Listen to him. He sounds so calm._ _Not even flustered that I caught him._

"Kiss me before you run along? Before you run a_-long_? What is she? _10_?"

"Actually, she's eight."

"You can't _talk_ to a girl like-_what_?"

"Katie. She's eight."

Bella could hear the grin in his voice and she closed her eyes in embarrassment, not even bothering to fight the blush that heat up her face.

"She likes chocolate milk and piggy back rides which is what she was trying to guilt me into doing for the third time."

"Oh." Her voice sounded unnaturally high.

Bella passed a hand on her face and opened one eye when he sighed into the phone.

"I was afraid of this, Bells."

"What-what do you mean?"

"I should have known really, I mean, I thought that you'll be like this..."

Her heart clenched at the somber tone of his voice. "_What_?"

"You know, that you're gonna be one of _those_."

Her brow wrinkled but waited for him to continue.

"A jealous girlfriend."

She sucked in a breath when his laugh reverberated into her ear. "I am _not_-I was not-"

"But really, she's only eight, Bells-"

She gritted her teeth, her embarrassment was slowly giving way to irritation. "Jake-"

"Besides, can you really blame her for finding me ruggedly handsome and strong when you yourself cannot resist my astounding good looks?"

"_Jake_, my finger is on the end button." She told him and tried really, really hard not to smile when he laughed.

"Really, Bells." He chided her softly. "Why would I want another woman when I have you?"

Her eyes shifted to some old sticker that was stuck on the wall no matter what she did to pull it off, her fingers fretting at its edges.

"So? Did you call me for a reason rather than just because you miss me?"

She opened her mouth, closed and opened it again while she watch light glittering on her bracelet. "Thanks for the charm." She said softly.

"Ah." There was amusement in his voice; sweet and thick like candy. "I was wondering when you'd notice. Thought it would be sooner though."

She winced and poked even harder at the sticker. "The store's been a little crazy and it's just always there and..." She bit her lip. "It's beautiful, Jake. Really. I love it."

"...your welcome, Bells."

For a long minute, Bella contented herself smiling into the distance while she basked in the warm welcoming feeling that she always got from him. Enjoying the feeling that he was there with her even though he was miles away. This was what she missed most and she had it now and if she wanted, it could be hers, always.

Something stuck in her throat. Maybe it was the word. _Always. _She remembered saying it to another boy, to another love.

"Jake?"

"Mm?"

_Tell me that you love me. That you'll never leave me. That it's all going to be alright._

"Is there...is there going to be more?"

"Do you want more?"

"No, of course not."

"You don't want more?"

"No. Yes. Wait-"

"You need time to think about it?" He teased.

"Oh, shut up, Jake. You know what I mean."

"...don't you like them, Bells?"

She could hear the hesitation in his voice and felt her chest tighten. "Of course I do. How can I not?"

"So you like them?"

"Jake, I love them. Their beautiful and so..." She sighed as her fingers fiddled with the little charms, before she always worry that she would lose them, that they would break away, or wither away every time she touched them. "You've always got such talented hands."

She frowned when she heard a choking sound from behind her, a look over her shoulder showed that Tina, Lulu, Misha each had a hand on Brian's mouth while Damien was grinning wickedly at her. "Aren't you guys suppose to be working?" She asked scathingly, trying not to pout when she heard Jacob chuckle.

"Are they listening in?"

"Not any more." She glared the snickering girls (Lulu included), eyed the unrepentant Damien, ignored Brian's impish grin and squirmed on the stool she was sitting on and gave them her back.

She heard another bang and someone shout something inaudible from the phone. "Are you busy?"

"I can spare a few minutes to talk. Wait up."

"Kyle, if I see you do that one more time, I'll hang you from a tree. Sky, get that saw away from there." His voice lowered. "Sorry. Kids nowadays, think they know everything."

"Where_ are_ you?"

"At the school. The storm blew a tree into one of the elementary classrooms and blew the hell out of some of the windows. There's going to be a bit of fixing up to be done."

She nodded to no one in particular, remembering her conversation with her dad just that morning. "Charlie did mention that you're up and about helping out around the reservation."

She heard the sound of clothes rustling. "Yeah, you know how it is, most of the houses are made of wood older than my grandfather." He chuckled.

Again, Bella was struck by how selfless he was sometimes. _Was it a tribe thing or a Jacob thing. Was he raise or was he born this way? _

"What about your work?"

She could almost see him shrug. "The beauty of owning your own business. Besides, it's not like we have to do this all day. Most of us already know how to pound a nail or reframe a window, I'm just here to supervise." He added with a cocky note in his voice.

"Don't do that." She said softly. "It's really great what you're doing, Jake. Not everybody will stop what they're doing because their neighbors are having a hard time. What you and the guys are doing is—I'm really proud of you, Jake."

"...thanks." She heard the emotion in his voice, how it changed from smooth to raspy.

She smiled. "You're welcome."

"Bells?"

Her eyes caught an ink stain on one of the counters and scowled at it, noting it mentally and deciding to tackle it later. "Hm?"

"I'm proud of you, too."

Her heart jumped up her throat.

"It's not easy, what you've done. What you're still doing."

Her eyes heated and stung. She had a feeling that he wasn't talking about her business. She never imagined him acknowledging_ that_ part of her life, much less thought it was something that he would be proud of. She never expected for her to _need_ him to be proud of her but from the loosening sensation in her heart, she knew now that she did.

As if he knew, his voice lowered even more, softening. "I mean it, Bells. I know it wasn't easy, still isn't but you're dealing with it and you're doing great. I am very, very proud of you, Bella Swan."

Her breathed hitched and she took a shuddering breath to keep herself from bawling. She swallowed and tried to clear her throat. "Thanks. Thanks, Jake. That means a lot to me."

She wiped a hand on her wet eyes and wallowed in the comfortable silence that she always had with Jacob.

"So," Jacob started, his voice returned to his usual teasing note. "What have you been doing?"

She coughed. "I'm at the shop, uh, I told you that we have books coming in and as usual, we're busy with displays and well, reading them."

"Owning a book store is just you, Bells."

She managed a laugh. "It's part of our 'give better service' actually. Each of us are assigned several popular books to read so we can give advise on what works best for who."

"Hey, that's a good idea. I hate it when you go into a book store and they just go 'huh?'."

"You _read?_" She smirked.

"Ha, Bells. Actually, I've been looking for this one book to complete my collection."

She blinked. He _does_ read, a lot. More than her in some areas but he wasn't the type to collect books. It pained her the way he treated books. "Wow, really? What is it?"

"Dr. Seuss-Sleep book. First published in 1962."

Bella stared at the spot on a wall as if she was staring at Jacob's face. "You're kidding."

"No, I'm not. I have everything of Dr. Seuss's but that one."

She wanted to think he was joking but he sounded so serious, which was why she wasn't laughing her ass off. "Why?"

"It was one of the books my mom read to me, she taught me how to read with it."

"Oh." _Now_ what she was going to say? And of course Jacob would do something so sweet. To collect something that reminded him of his mom. "That's the only one you don't have?"

"Yeah." He heard him sigh. "I probably can get it from the internet but I don't want to get it that way, you know. I want to touch it with my hands. Feel its weight on my fingers."

"Yeah. I understand."

He laughed. "I figured. Hey, so, what are you reading?"

Glad to have evaded that sensitive land mine, primarily because she didn't know what to say, the answer almost leaped onto her lips before she managed to clamp down on it. "Um. Nothing special."

She winced at her attempt on a nonchalant answer, she could practically hear his interest perking up.

"Bella," His voice was liquid chocolate; smooth, delicious and succulent. " Are you reading Erotica?"

"_No_. Of course not." She wasn't exactly lying, her latest steamy novel was hidden beneath her laundry.

"Oh, don't tell me. Thou art readeth classical literatura."

She scoffed. "No. And that sentence doesn't even make sense."

"Regency romances."

"Nope."

"Books that I won't even try reading their titles out loud which ends with someone dead and someone else vowing revenge."

Bella winced, _am I really that boring?_

"No, I'm-" She rolled her eyes. "I'm reading crime books with a supernatural bent."

"Which supernatural bent?"

She sighed and muttered. "Werewolves."

All right, Jacob didn't actually laugh with glee...he howled...with laughter. And to her eternal embarrassment, she heard another all too familiar voice. "What's the joke?"

"Embry, hear this. Bella's reading about werewolves."

"I'm not reading about werewolves par se. They're just the gimmick." She protested.

Much good it did for her.

She groaned when another familiar voice entered the conversation. She should have known that Embry would be there with Jake and Quil.

"Who's reading werewolf books?" Quil nosed in.

"Bella." Embry gasped out. She sighed at the sound of their hilarity. She saw Damien looked at her with curiosity when she pulled her cell a few inches away from her ear, then quickly put it back and hunched her shoulders.

"Why do you bother, Bella? If you want to know about werewolves, just ask." Quil snickered.

"It wasn't like I picked the books, we had a lottery." She pouted.

Jacob chuckled. "All right, all right. Both of you, go away." She heard a thump, a scuffle and Jacob's snicker.

"Hey, you heading here tonight?"

"What?"

"It's Friday, Bells. Come on."

Her fingers fidgeted with her bracelet. "I don't know."

"I'm not asking you because of....that's for whenever you're ready, Bells."

She heaved a quiet, relieved breath.

"I do want to see you, though." He continued. "There's a new moon tonight."

"And?"

"We have this tradition."

A trickle of anxiety weaved through her heart. "Uh huh. What kind of tradition?"

"You'll see when you get here."

"Can't you just tell me what it is?"

"Nope."

"Not even if I say please?"

"Nope."

"Not even if I bring you sweet potato pies?"

She giggled when she heard him suck in a breath. "That's a low blow, Bells."

"Come on, Jake. Why can't you just tell me?"

"It'll ruin the surprise."

She wrinkled her nose. "You know I hate surprises."

"Yup."

"Why do you always do this to me?"

"Because it's fun."

"I could just stay here." She mused.

"Won't do yo any good. I'll just come get you."

She made noise at the back of her throat. "I forgot that about you."

His voice was all amusement. "What's that?"

"That you're so pushy."

"And yet, you love me anyway."

"Mmm." She sighed. "Is this one of those traditions that requires me to wear knee pads and a helmet?"

His laughter made her mouth quirk up. "You'll be with me, Bells. I'm all that you need."

Bella caught her reflection on one of the ovens and watched happiness flirt on her face. _I'm starting to get that impression._ She sighed. "All right."

"All right. Wait, you're not going to wait until you closed down right? Cut out early."

"Sure, sure.."

"_Ha_."

Bella smiled at the triumph in his voice, then played with the sticker again when the silence between them stretched. "So, I better pack."

"Okay."

"You should probably get back to work."

"Probably. Call me when you get here."

"I will."

"Drive safely."

"I will." She smiled. "Don't get too enthusiastic and, you know, hammer down a building, all right?"

He snorted. "You should see what Quil did to one of the doors."

"It was an accident!" Quil yelled at them.

She joined him in laughter that faded away into a smile and she knew, _knew_ that he was smiling too and it made her feel all warm inside.

"All right."

"Okay."

"Oh, look." Bella jolted at the sound of Tina's voice that was much too close for comfort. She straightened to see them and scowled when she saw Tina _and_ Misha smiled sickening sweet at her. "They're going to do the 'you hang up' 'no you hang up' routine."

Misha sighed and batted her eyelashes. "That is so _sweet._"

"I have to go kill my employees and stuff their bodies in the dumpster, Jake."

Jacob's voice was filled with smiles. "If you have to bleed them, bleed them on the tiles, Bells. Easier to clean up after."

"Good idea. Bye."

"See you tonight."

She flipped close her cell and slid down the stool. "I"m going to pack." She declared, sniffed and pivoted to do an exit that would have made Lulu proud. But in true Bella style, she stubbed her foot on a nearby table leg. She glared with watery eyes at Misha and Tina who maintained their too sweet smile and Damien's amused eyes, before she swept out the kitchen.


	24. The Second between Breaths pt 1

A/N; This is a filler chapter. Just something to bring one chapter to the other...

"Bye, Jake."

Jake flipped his cell close and chuckled. He could imagine the look on Bella's face, trying to glare her way out of her embarrassment but only managed looking deliciously sulky.

"Was that Bella?" A female voice intruded his reverie.

"Of course it was Bella. Did you hear how low his voice was? The male animal showing his interest upon his intended mate..."

"You really _have_ to lay off Animal Planet. Seriously. Like, immediately."

Resigned, Jacob turned to see both Mercy and Caleb, both with their trademark expressions that was especially designed to aggravate the other; Mercy with her disgusted I-only-hang-out-with-you-because-of-pity-and-your-mom-asked-_my_-mom-so-I'm-stuck-with-you look, Caleb with his I-know-you-love-me-for-my-outstanding-charm-and-devilish-grin-so-you-might-as-well-give-up-you'r-stuck-with-me look.

"Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"And yet, here we are." Caleb hooked an arm around Mercy's neck the way guys do to their brothers and other male siblings and grunted when she nudged him in the ribs. "It's a conundrum."

Jacob stared. "Both of you. School."

Caleb snorted. "Like you've never cut class before. Don't you think you're acting a little hypocritical considering the tales that are still told in the great halls of Quileute high? "

Since he had his back to them, Jacob's mouth widened to a grin. After all, must not encourage the kiddies. "Those tales are mostly exaggerated.

Caleb perked up. "When you say _mostly_, which one do you mean?"

Jacob tossed them a look from over his shoulder and lifted a saw.

Caleb lifted both his hand in a placating gesture. "Hey, no need to get hostile. A simple no comment would suffice."

"Although, when you think about it, the act of saying no comment itself _is_ a comment." Mercy pointed out.

"Good point, my pithy friend." Caleb pursed his lips at the look that Mercy gave him. "No? Cooly sardonic? Enigmatic?" He clapped a hand on her shoulder and left them with a wave. "We'll think on the correct way for me to describe you later."

"Relax, Jake. It's lunch break." Mercy eyed the block of wood he was sawing.

"And you came here? Really? Don't you guys have any other place to hang out? The library, maybe?"

Mercy snorted. "The library?"

"I'm a grown up. I _have_ to be boring and staid. It's law."

Mercy smiled. "If that's a requirement then you've failed miserably."

"Yeah?" He couldn't help but sound please.

"Crash and burn."

He slanted a look at her. "Mercy, are you coming on to me?"

Mercy flicked a wood chip at him.

"So, was that Bella?"

"If you must know, yes, it's her. Hold that end for me, will you?"

Mercy stepped to the end of the block, threw her right leg over it and sat on it. "She hasn't been around much." She commented, her dark eyes focusing on his face as he worked on the block, making sure that he took his time and showed some effort.

"She does have her own business, you know."

"_You_'ve been around _too_ much."

His arm continued moving back and forth. "I do have my own business, you know."

"Why _her_, Jake?"

He bit of the sigh. "Why not her?"

"Is it a 'the one that got away' or a simple 'first love' thing?"

Irritation started to surface so he sawed harder, hoping the loud grating sound would discourage her but this was Mercy, she merely talked over the sound.

"Or is it a 'one I haven't bang' –"

The short end of the wood fell to the ground with a dull thump. "Mercy." His tone was firm and not unlike Billy's tone when he did something out of line. Mercy closed her mouth but gave him a rebellious look. He picked up the wood block and put it on the top of the stack at his elbow. "Just tell me what you really want to talk to me about."

The rebellious look took on a resentful edge which changed into a wary acceptence. She slid a look to where Caleb was carting a flatbed and goofing off with Embry. Jacob followed her look and irritation gave way into understanding.

"Did he get into a fight again?"

"No, but he's been_ way_ too edgy and Kalua just keeps provoking him. I figure I'll seperate them as much as I can."

Jacob picked up the saw again. "Good idea."

Mercy got off the wood, slid it over the table and held down her end, her fingers moving restlessly.

"Is there more?"

She heaved a disgruntle breath. "You know I hate this, right. I hate.._.tattling_."

"Sometimes keeping quiet does more harm than good."

Mercy grimaced as if what she was going to say tasted bad in her mouth. Maybe it did. "It's getting worse, the fights between Kalua and Caleb. It used to be this macho, petty, mine is bigger than yours situation but now it's...the last time they fought I swear I thought they were going to kill each other. Caleb tries to ignore him but Kalua just keeps ragging on him—" She sighed. "Caleb's not stupid, he doesn't want to blow his chances for a scholarship but Kalua just drives him _crazy_."

Jacob kept his face bland although inside he was pretty worried. "Family can do that."

The sound she made was extremely cynical. "Family. Yeah, that's the best word to describe Kalua and Caleb. They share a father, that's all. You guys are more family to Caleb then he ever will."

"He also has you."

He saw her shrug and kept on sawing for a minute before he caught the truly miserable expression on her face. Mercy was a pain in the ass but she was loyal to a fault and loyalty was something Jacob knew well about, as was the concept of family.

"Caleb can take care of himself."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Her eyes closed before looking into his; they were big and troubled. "Jake, I'm scared."

He kept his eyes on hers then straighten, for Mercy to admit that, the situation between Caleb and Kalua must be worse than what he was hearing. "What do you want me to do, exactly?"

"Talk to Kalua. Warm him off, I don't care."

Mercy hung around guys more than she hung around girls but they were just some simple male machinations that she could't quite grasp no matter how much she tried. "That'll only make things worse and doing that won't make it any easier on Caleb's pride."

"To hell with his pride—"

He sighed. "You know better than that, Merce. Sometimes pride is all that you have and Caleb has a lot of it. It was pride that made him ask for odd jobs around the rez in return for payment so he could help his mother out when he was eight. It was pride that made him refuse the council's offer for help when his mother was sick, choosing to work at the store instead when he was eleven."

She waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. "I'm not kidding, Jake. Sooner or later, they'll kill each other. At the very least, hurt each other badly."

"Kalua knows exactly where his limits are and Caleb is too smart to let Kalua get to him."

Her black eyes flashed. "You didn't see them today. I did."

Jacob's eyes narrowed on her face, weighing her expression. "Good point." He looked past her face to Caleb who was now passing a nail gun to Quil. "We'll keep watch."

Mercy could feel the coiled tension in her stomach melt away, she knew enough to trust Jacob on his word. She watched him saw for a while before opening her mouth.

"So, why her, Jake?"

Jacob sent her a frustrated look which she met without flinching. "If I answer this one question will you lay off this topic forever?" He frowned at her. "Why this sudden interest anyway? You've never cared about any of my...girl friends before."

She shrugged. "They don't really matter to you." She rolled her eyes when he frowned. "I don't mean that you don't care for them, it's just that in the whole great scheme of things, they don't matter. Bella does."

"And that's bad because..."

"It's not bad, it's just...why her?"

"What's wrong with her?"

"Nothing. She's just so..._ordinary_."

Jacob stifled a smile. "You make that sound like a bad thing."

"And she's not Quileute."

"Uh-huh."

"You're basically our next in chief and you're dating an outsider."

Mercy tried not to squirm under Jacob's bland stare.

"I never took you for a traditionalist, Merce. So, you're worried that I'm dating a white woman?"

"You can't convince me that that won't matter to the council." She gritted her teeth when Jacob only kept staring at her. "Or are you telling me that you're not seeing that far ahead, that you're not serious with her.?"

Jacob put the saw down on the make shift working table and wiped the saw dust on his jeans. Seconds ticked by before he finally softly answered, "No, I'm not saying that."

"So, they're going to be changes, Jake. They're going to be some serious discussions. Who you take to wife doesn't just affect yourself, it'll affect the whole tribe."

"You're exaggerating things, Merce."

"No, I'm not."

No, Jacob knew she wasn't. He'd heard the gossip, the talk of him and Bella and ignored it. He was exasperated by the whole thing but he knew how his people work. Billy wasn't saying anything but he knew people have approached him with questions that were brought up carefully since, Bella is after all Charlie's daughter; a man that they respect as both the town law and friend to the tribe. And it took a very, very brave and somewhat psychotic person to anger Billy.

He kept his eyes on his hands while he mulled his answers, he considered one lie after another but decided on honesty instead. "You really want to know why it has to be her?"

She straightened, her eyes alert and watchful. "Yes."

"I love her." The answer was something he stumbled upon one midnight when he was unable to sleep, his mind filled to bursting with her, when he lifted his eyes from his hands to meet Mercy's; they were deep, steady and heartbreakingly sure. "I loved her when I was sixteen and every year since then. It doesn't matter where she is or who she's with or whether she loves me back or not." He shrugged. "I love her."

He cocked his head to the side when she remained quiet. "No comment?"

"That necklace. It's one of my grandmother's right?"

Jacob blinked at the change of subject but nodded anyway.

"She told me that Bella bought it for you. Chose it for you."

He couldn't quite make out the thoughtful expression on her face. "Yeah." He drawled, stretching out the vowels, still unsure about her attention. One can't be too careful when it comes to women, eventhough they were still sixteen.

"Do you know what it means?"

"It's a necklace."

Mercy didn't rolled her eyes but it was close. "It's one of my grandma's necklace, of course it means something."

He shrugged. "It's pretty. She liked it."

"Then she would buy it for herself and not for you."

"Is there a point to this conversation?"

Warily, Jacob eyed Mercy when she lifted a hand and pulled the necklace from out of his T shirt. She ran a finger on the stones like it was worth more than what it had cost. "Onyx, Obsidian, Carnelian, a line of strong stones tied in a warrior's knot. Onyx is used for tempering emotions, to bring calmness and peace to its owner. People believe that it also helps you on controlling your own fate and help out with excess energy. Obsidian is a grounding stone, it helps you focus and again, steady your temper and emotions. The middle stone, Carnelian is a stone that protects from rages and anger, it also helps to channel out sorrow and sadness, either than for increasing physical energy, it also has healing properties like in to stop bleeding and and heals sickness." She took her hand from the necklace. "Not that I believe what grandma believes but it's the thought that counts. It's a necklace made of blessings and wishes for safety and when combined with a warrior knot it's more of an amulet rather than jewelry. It speaks of great affection and love. It's what a woman gives to a lover who lives in dangerous times; a soldier, a warrior." She raised her eyes from the necklace and latched onto his face. "I'd asked whether she loves you back or not but I think I already know the answer."

Jacob blinked, suddenly conscious of the stones weight around his neck, comforting and warm. "She picked it cause it matches my coloring."

The look that Mercy spared gave him an impression of an ancient knowledge that was female in tone and degrading to his sex. "You don't think my grandma explained to her about what it was?"

"I was with her when she bought it, she didn't say anything."

"Why should she?"

Speechless, Jacob merely blinked at her.

"So, Jake." Caleb ambled amiably to them and again, hooked an arm around Mercy's shoulders. "Has she asked for a way to repent her sins to Bella?"

Distracted, Jacob lifted a brow and smiled. "Actually, there is something that you can do."


	25. The Seconds between Breaths pt 2

A/n: This is for all the people who *cough* begged *cough* asked and threaten me to get of my ass and update. Especially for Augustblack who keeps asking and asking and asking and asking....

**W**hen Brian told her that she had a visitor, she half expected that it was Jacob being his usually pushy self; picking her up, making sure that she'll do exactly what he ask her to do.

She was ready to be irritated, worlds like 'damn, pushy Alpha' tingling on her tongue, a massive frown ready to decorate her face in a moment's notice.

Instead, her eyes blinked on Caleb's grinning face and Mercy's mildly interested ones. Before she could open her mouth, Caleb lifted a toolbox with his left hand, the other lifting one of Mercy's that was also holding onto a toolbox.

"We've come to repent." He announced in a cheerful and almost proud tone. Mercy scowled at him before twisting her hand out of his grasp.

Bella slid her eyes to Mercy and noticed that she was taking in her surroundings and tucking it inside her head. Looking at the gleam in the younger girl's eyes, she had a sudden feeling of self consciousness, her eyes dropped to the mismatched tables and bookshelves and chairs that she hunted down in garage sales and flea markets which she and her staff then sanded and fixed and repainted themselves. Tina and Misha's favorite past time was haggling, Lulu was great with a needle and flowers, Brian was handy with a hammer and one of Damian's great loves was painting. The shop was a product of all their hard work, each knick knack, colorful pillow and artwork was a collage of all their tastes. She tried the clean and fluid style on her earlier months but decided she liked the homey and cluttered look more and her customers certainly thought it was charming but with the brisk and efficient way Mercy was looking around, Bella was afraid that her store looked…tacky.

It was ridiculous of her to feel so intimidated by a sixteen year old teenager with pigtails and frayed jeans but she was. When Mercy's black eyes focused on her face, Bella fought the urge to babble.

She frowned and again, before she could say anything, Caleb gave her a knowing smile then handed her a note. Caleb snickered at the wary look she gave the note before opening it.

The note was short but succinct and the handwriting was unmistakably Jacob's.

A sudden flashback of the many notes Jacob and she had exchanged played in her mind and she smiled at both the familiarity of the handwriting and what was written.

She lifted her eyes to Caleb whose eyes were distracted by the selection of pastries. "Are you sure I can't offer any payment?"

He dragged his eyes from a tray of éclairs covered with melted chocolate. "No worries. Ja—" He let out a small grunt and Bella sneaked a glance to the girl who stood beside him with a far too innocent look on her face.

"What did Jake say on the note?" She asked politely.

"That I should just feed you."

She beamed at her and Bella suppressed the overwhelming urge to bask in her approval. "I'll have one of those éclairs."

"Me, too." Caleb chimed in.

"If you're sure." Bella couldn't help but feel a little uneasy at the smile and weighing look in Mercy's eyes.

"Well, a slice of your peach pie would be nice, they say it's good."

Caleb's dark eyes smiled at her. "I'd like one, too."

Bella stared at both of their faces in bemusement. "All right. Do you want anything to drink?"

Both of them shrugged simultaneously although only Caleb answered, "Soda will be fine." Mercy checked out the display mugs of all sizes and colors and shapes that cluttered the racks that hung on the wall behind the cashier where Lulu was observing them without blinking. Bella watched as Mercy caught Lulu's eyes and both of them stared at each other before exchanging a smile. When Mercy turned back to Caleb, Lulu met Bella's eyes and raised an eyebrow at her. Bella grimaced.

"So, you're apartment upstairs right?" Caleb asked her.

"Uh, yeah." She turned and led them to the stairs that led to her rooms. "The door's not locked—"

"You don't lock your doors?"

She gave him a look. "You sound like Jacob."

He merely grinned, unrepentant. "We'll be upstairs then."

"Do you guys need me or—"

Caleb clambered up the stair behind Mercy. "Jacob made a list."

"He made a list? Do I want to know how long it is?"

Caleb grinned at her from over his shoulder, probably heard the note of embarrassment in her voice. "No, you don't."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, well, if you have questions—"

He waved at her. "We won't."

"—I'll be downstairs and if you want something else, feel free to get anything from the fridge, there are sodas in there and—" Her voice trailed off when Caleb snapped his fingers, threw his tool box to an annoyed Mercy before running down two steps at a time. She half expected Mercy to lose her balance and topple off the stairs but she was stronger than she looked.

Bella looked on as Caleb dug through the many pockets of his cargo pants. With a triumphant sound, he held up another piece of paper. "I forgot, here."

She flipped it open and almost gawked at the content.

"They'll make themselves sick."

Caleb merely handed her a 100 dollar bill and shrugged. "Anyway, don't worry about us. You'll have your hands full as it is." He shooed her and climbed back up. "So, Merce. Ready to rack up some karma points?"

She smiled when she heard a dull thud and a muffled curse, she skimmed the list of orders and calculated the time she had left, she had no problem with the éclairs and cookies and the cream puffs but the pies and Embry's macaroni scuttle, well, she had to make those from scratch. Bella rolled her shoulders before gathering her hair into a ponytail and headed to kitchen, one thing she learned these last four years was to roll with the punches and to love challenges as they come her way.

****

She tried, she really did. But one thing about Damian, was that he was really good at needling her without actually saying a word. She kept her eyes on the dough she was kneading and ignored the prickly feeling of his eyes on her. She sprinkled more flour on her dough and focused on her kneading.

She lasted less than a minute. "What?" She snapped at him.

Damian's dark eyes met hers with a kind of hurt innocence that she didn't believe one bit. "Why, _mia piccolo_, what's the matter?"

She glared at him. "Don't you _mia piccolo_ me, Dami."

Damian lifted both of his flour covered hands in surrender. "I didn't say anything." He gave her a look that melted females and gay males everywhere.

Bella stared at him until he sighed. Heavily. "I don't know why you guys always blame me for everything, even when I didn't do anything."

Again, Bella merely stared and Damian stared back. Then fluttered his sinfully long eye lashes.

This time, it was Bella who sighed heavily, even if to hide a smile. Damian was incorrigible enough without the encouragement.

"So, the one you called. That's the famous Jacob, huh?"

Bella glanced wearily at the smile on Damian's face. "Yeah, so?"

He shrugged. "Just curious. I haven't met him."

Bella kept her eyes on his face. Lulu described him as pretty and he was. Seriously pretty. An interesting hybrid of Italian and Japanese, Damian was blessed with dense black hair that curled along the collar of his blue T shirt, deep dark eyes that slanted at the edges, high cheek bones, a straight patrician nose, an a fully curved mouth. He had the long and lanky body of his Japanese father and the bronze skin color of his Italian mother. If not for the solid square jaw and the breadth of his shoulders, Damian would be _too _pretty. Bella suspected that he got a lot of crap about his looks when he was a boy, hence the sometimes twisted sense of humor and ruthless streak. He liked to play the flamboyant, temperamental Italian with the customers especially female ones, his perfect English would immediately be traded in for fiery and intense Italian where he threw tantrums over his artistic creations or over some imagined slight. It had made one too many boring nights into a farce of epic proportions.

When he flashed a wide, brilliant grin—his white teeth contrasting sharply with his dusky skin tone—a passing thought stopped her hands and widen her eyes on his face.

It was with dismay that she realized and admitted why she was most comfortable with Damian than her other staffs, why she spent many a day content in working or sitting in one corner of the kitchen while Damien worked his magic… just like she had felt content and comfortable underneath the plastic roof top of a so called garage, once upon a time.

He reminded her of Jacob.

"Do I want to know what you're thinking?"

She jolted and the dough that she had in her hands flopped to the table with a loud splat. She blinked at the man who looked at her inquisitively from across the wide, long wooden table they were working on. "What do you mean?"

"You look like I just conked you over the head with a rolling pin." He replied.

"I just—" Bella shook her head, dismayed with the newfound realization. "I just realized who you remind me of."

He raised a dark eyebrow. "Jacob?"

She nodded, her brow furrowed.

"How so? Do we look alike?"

She tilted her head and observed him. "No, it's not looks, though you share some of his coloring, mainly it's…vague really."

He looked expectant.

"It's how you smile and carry yourself I guess. Innate confidence and how you're so comfortable in your own skin. How you're just…_you_." She admitted, feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable with the sudden revelation.

Damian nodded slowly, thoughtful before he returned his eyes to hers and tipped a bottle of olive oil onto the dough he was kneading. "Is he the reason then? Why you mope around like you're doing punishment?"

"I don't mope—" She bit off a sigh. "He's one of them."

"The other being the red haired guy that sometime visits you?"

Her head snapped up. "How..?" She paused. She forgot that Damien once saw Edward when she first opened the store and a couple of times after that. She nodded absently, wondering whether she should mention about Edward's visit to Jacob. Not that it mattered, after all, the Cullens had stopped contacting her, probably at Edward's insistence. She shifted her feet at the sharp twinge in her heart.

"Well, from what I hear of this Jake guy, I like the sound of him. The other dude creeped me out."

"Dami." She chided him. Every slight against Edward was still a personal offence.

"What? He did. He's just so…_quiet_. It bugged me." He slanted his eyes at her. "Has he been back?"

She squeezed the dough until it came out between her fingers. "No."

"So, this Jacob dude, why is he just coming around now?"

She winced and pointed to the rolling pin at his elbow. He gave it to her but held on to it when she didn't answer.

"He only found out two months ago that I'm here."

"You're kidding."

"No, I'm not." She pulled at the rolling pin but he held fast.

"You know him for how long?"

"Since high school."

"You're good friends?"

"Yes."

"Very good friends?"

"He's…Jacob was…is…" Bella sighed. "He's my best friend. He was there when I was going through a hard time. You can say that…he pulled me back." She didn't want to tell him more than that, besides, she suspected that he already knew more than he ought to.

"So, you owe him." He finally let go of the rolling pin.

"Yes." She frowned. "Not…I don't…Yes, I owe him a lot of things but it's not…that's not why…"

She cast him a grumpy look when he laughed at her.

"You make it sound so complicated, Bella."

She flicked her dough covered fingers at him. "That's because it is."

"Do you love him?"

She looked down and rolled the rolling pin over her dough. She waited a few seconds before she finally managed to glance at him and gave up when she saw him focused at her. "Yes."

"Does he love you?"

Her hands paused as Jacob's face flitted over her eyes. "Yeah. Yeah, he does." She didn't hear the warm and slightly awed tone in her voice, but Damian did.

"Then what's the problem?"

Bella blinked and was stumped. Not knowing what to say, she returned to her rolling pin.

Damian shaped the dough he was working on into a ball and put it in a bowl than covered it with a towel. "It seems to me that the only problems that you have are only in your head."

When she aimed a surly glance at him, he grinned, bright and cheerful, just like Jacob would've done. She set aside the rolling pin, picked up the flatten dough and covered the apple fillings of her apple pie. She cut away the edges and popped it in the oven before cleaning her side of the table.

She was washing her hands when Caleb stepped to the kitchen. "Hey, ignore me. Just here to look at the back door."

"Damian, this is Caleb, Caleb, Damien."

Bella watched as Damian and Caleb traded looks than nodded to each other. _Men._ "What's wrong with it?"

Caleb observed the lock than gave her a look. "I think the question is 'what's _not_ wrong with it?'."

Bella blinked at the disgusted tone in the teenager's voice. "A good jiggle and this lock is toast, the same case with your apartment door." His tool box clattered open and his hands moved fast and confident, picking out the tools that he needed. "You live here alone, right?"

"Yeah."

His lips firmed in a straight line. "You need a better lock. Good thing Jacob checked on this door."

"Jacob's a worry wart." She muttered, wiping her hand dry. _And so are you_. The whirring sound of the power drill clashed with the upbeat sound of The Hush Sound that was playing through the speakers.

"You're a girl, Bella. You should be more aware."

"I tell her that again and again. She wouldn't listen." Damian confessed to Caleb, a twinkle in his eyes.

She frowned at her co-worker. "Don't _you_ start."

She pulled out Jacob's bracelet from her pocket and absently put it on, her eyes on the apple pie she had in the oven.

"Can I see that?"

Bella dragged her eyes away and looked at where Caleb was kneeling at her door. His eyes were on her bracelet. "Um, sure."

She gave Caleb her braceleted wrist. His long able fingers touched the charms. "These are Jacob's right?"

She avoided Damian's lifted brows and nodded.

Caleb's eyes lifted to hers. "Have you been in his room?"

She fought the flush and lost. "Not… not lately."

"You should. You'll find it interesting." On that provoking note, he turned his back and worked on the door.

Bella met Damian's amused gaze and frowned. "Can you watch over the pies for me, I need to pack."

Damien waved her away but called out to her when she reached the door. His dark eyes bright with humor. "Remember, Bella. Love is a leap done on faith."

"And what happens when you fall?"

He grinned. "Hope somebody catches you, of course."

She rolled her eyes. "Figured."

"Been there, done that?" He lifted an eyebrow.

"Got the T-shirt." She added as she turned away. _And the scars._

Her first suspicion was right after all, sure, Jacob didn't come over himself, but he sent his minions. As soon as they saw her packed and her pies finished, they conveniently finished too, at least, for the moment. They didn't bring the new tools, it's late and several more excuses later, they ushered her to the car, Jacob's car.

Bella couldn't help but roll her eyes when Caleb smiled at her from the rear view mirror.

"Do you even have your license yet? Why don't I get to drive?" Bella sunk her but onto the back seat. Actually, she was glad that she wasn't driving, she was beat, her arm muscles ached from kneading and her eyes were tired but she couldn't help but admired the way the car snarled every time Caleb stepped on the gas. She wondered whether she could talk Jacob into letting her drive it. She really needed a car.

"Of course, I have. Besides, you look like you're going to fall asleep any second, I'd like to arrive at Forks alive, you know."

Caleb drove like he did everything else, careful and easy like so Bella snuggled further into the back seat, her arms holding down the boxes of treats stacked on either side of her. The car smelled like a candy store.

She didn't mind really, having company on the drive home either than her radio was nice, she amused herself on watching Caleb needle Mercy until she slapped him beside the head. She wondered about how it was between them, were they friends or were they 'friends' but looking at them, their relationship was more like brother and sister really, or more precisely, brother-like; Mercy being the exasperated big brother with the annoying younger one trailing behind.

She hid a grin when Caleb poked Mercy's arm with a finger, again and again and again until she paid him back with a hard punch to his well defined biceps. He winced convincingly and slanted an injured puppy dog look which Mercy ignored.

He played good little boy for about five minutes until he did it again with the same result. The last thing Bella saw as her eyes slid close was their two heads close together whispering.


	26. A Howlin' Good Time

Caleb and Mercy dropped her off at Charlie's and she didn't protest since:

She was wiped.

She was asleep on her feet

She knew that whatever the wolves has planned for tonight, she needed to be wide awake and all her strength with her, puny and miniscule though it might be when compared to theirs.

…she was a little nervous on seeing Jacob again since their last..uh, face to face talk.

Oh, all right, _yes_, she was a wimp.

Anyway, she managed a quick short message to Jacob to say that she was at Charlie's and that she's going to catch on some sleep before heading out to meet him, then she flopped onto her bed and went to a deep, deep sleep.

She woke up to the cheerful bebop beat of Christina Aguilera's CandyMan and stared through one eye at her cellphone. Still dazed from sleep, she eyed the caller ID and wondered whether it was Tina or Misha or Lulu who programmed the song to Jacob's number.

She decided it was time to sit them down and have a long discussion about privacy. Again. She coughed, cleared her throat and rubbed her face before she answered. "Jake?"

"Nope. Leah. You better be ready when we get there."

"We?" Bella struggled to sit up and squinted through the window before peering at her alarm clock. It was close to midnight and the house wasn't the only place that was dark. She couldn't see a thing outside if not for the streetlamps that lit the roads with a warm yellow glow.

"Rachel and Kim are with me. You've got fifteen minutes."

Bella hurried down the porch wearing old jeans, layers of long-sleeved shirts and her favorite coat in thirteen when Leah skidded in front of her house and pounded on the horn.

"Lay off the horn." She hissed and slid inside Jacob's black Impala, her nose detecting the smells of sugar, cinnamon and coffee.

"Someone wakes up cranky." Rachel commented with an amused grin from the passenger seat beside Leah. Kim however gave her a sympathetic smile and offered her a cup. "Coffee?"

Bella sighed in pleasure. "Yes, please." Kim waved a cinnamon bun in her face and laughed when she pounced on it. Suddenly starving, she took a big bite. "This is good."

Kim grinned, pleased. "Lulu gave me a few hints on what I was doing wrong."

When Lulu came out to Forks with Misha and Tina a month ago, she and Kim traded a few recipes and were thick as thieves after that, exchanging recipes and tips in emails. Kim's shyness and amiable nature seemed to click with Lulu's mother hen attitude.

Leah glanced at her from the rear view mirror. "You didn't bring any blueberry muffins?"

Bella blinked and swallowed. "Um, no. You didn't order any so I thought you didn't want anything."

"I wasn't there when they made their collective orders. Thoughtless bastards."

"I'll bring some next time or, um, why don't you guys come out to my place?" She felt her stomach hitch at the thought of Leah and Rachel, two girls who intimidate her to no end, sitting around in her café. "You know, check out more selections."

Rachel pursed her lips in thought and Leah shrugged before making a turn. "Sure."

Bella blinked, realizing that this was probably the most pleasant conversation she had ever had with Leah. Huh. She eyed the older girl while she munch on her bun and noticed that she cut her hair and was wearing jean cut offs with and an old T-shirt.

_The easier to phase and kick your ass in my dear, _she muffled a smile and chewed.

But there was something different…something…Bella huffed. She was imagining things. Leah was in a good mood that's all, doesn't mean they'll be best buds and all that.

"So, where are we going?" She asked after she drank the last drop of her coffee, feeling the caffeine kick in.

Rachel placed her feet on the dashboard. "You'll see."

She eyed Leah's smirk and Kim's impish smile. "I'm not going to like this, am I?"

Kim moved her head in something like a yes and a no. "You…might."

She sounded doubtful though not worried so Bella tried to settle her stomach and took another bite.

Either than to roll with the punches and to love challenges as they come, Bella had also learned to hang on with both hands to silver linings and to make awesome lemonades, both metaphorically and literally.

She sighed, settled back and asked for more coffee, her fingers fiddling with her new charm.

The coffee only made her jittery, the blurry scene outside the car that met her eyes was just too dark, dark, dark. She knew that she was safe, that the pack would never let anything happen to her, and the girls with her seemed excited rather than anxious. Jacob said it was a tradition, so they probably did this many times before.

Whatever _this_ was.

It's just that, her eyes searched outside the window again, she couldn't see a thing. "Uh, seriously guys, where are we going?"

"One of our favorite spots." Leah answered as she slowed down. Expecting her to stop, Bella tried to see where they were heading or just simply see _anything_ but what she saw were only more trees highlighted by the headlights.

"Uh huh." She swallowed when Leah stopped and parked at the side of the road. "It's really dark."

Kim giggled, took out a flashlight and flashed it under her face. "That's the whole point."

"What do you mean?" She closed the door and followed them to the tree line.

"Geez, Swan." Rachel took out her own flash light, turned it on and in the light Bella could see her rolling her eyes. "What part of 'it's a surprise' that you don't get?"

"I don't like surprises." She mumbled to herself before raising her voice. "And no one told me to bring a flashlight."

She heard Leah snicker. "I didn't bring one."

Rachel snorted. "That's because you don't need one."

Bella glued herself to Kim's side. "You don't?"

"Uh, werewolf." Leah used the special tone that was usually reserved for idiot grown ups.

"Right." She stepped over a thick root that was just waiting to trip her and kept her eyes on the circle of light from Kim's flashlight. "So, are we going to walk to this secret rendezvous place?"

"Secret rendezvous place." Leah chortled. "Will you listen to her?"

"Nope, we're going to use a different method of transportation."

Bella eyed the darkness around them with rising trepidation. "Uh-huh, which are…?"

"Us."

Bella barely squelched the highly girlish squeal that trembled on her tongue when Jared stepped into Kim's circle of light. He squinted against the light.

"Babe, you're killing my night-vision."

"Sorry, sweetie."

"Well, poopie-head, what took you so long?" Leah smacked a hand on Jared's side. "I thought I'd have to carry the three of them _and_ the back pack to the circle."

Bella heard Quil's laugh; loud, infectious and slightly obnoxious from her left. "I'd _pay_ to see that. Rach, you're with me. Hey, Bella. Thanks for the cookies. You okay? You look pale."

"I'm always pale." Bella frowned as the flashlight lights waver over trees and the rocky grounds beneath them. "So, anyone going to tell me what this is all about?"

"Nope."

She'd recognized that voice anywhere but she still jumped out of her skin. "Dammit. Stop that!" She turned to Jacob's voice and crashed against his chest.

His naked chest.

Not that Jacob's state of undress is unusual but in her opinion, especially in these last few weeks, Jacob's naked chest was always worthy of special notice, even when she couldn't see it. She could however, almost make out his teeth when he grinned at her. Don't ask her how she knew that he was grinning down at her, she just did.

She stopped herself from warming her cold hands on his skin. His hands slid down from her shoulders to the curve of her waist in a gesture that was so natural, she took a step forward to snuggle against him before she could stop herself.

He was just so unbelievably _warm_.

His deep, even chuckle vibrated the skin against her cheek. "Someone woke up cranky."

Rachel's voice piped up from somewhere at her right. "That's what I said."

"I hate surprises." She mumbled again but again, everybody ignored her. She struggled against the whine in her voice but didn't quite manage it. "Can't you just tell me?"

"You're about to find out anyway." She sensed him move in front her but the only sound she could hear was the rustle of night creatures and the whistle of the wind in between the leaves of the tall, straight fir trees around them. He took her hand and pressed it on his shoulder. "Here, climb up my back."

Kim, who was already on Jared's, aimed a flashlight on Jacob's muscled back. It could be because of the dark, but Jacob seemed much larger than usual in her eyes. He hitched her up and stood smoothly, showing that he wasn't the slightest hindered by her weight. She knew it was small and shallow of her but she couldn't help the slight thrill that shot up her spine at how strong he was. And she was also pleased that the slight awkwardness that she felt at the thought of seeing him dissipated without it even rearing up its ugly head.

She circled her arms around his neck and smiled when she felt the press of his pony tail on her cheek, his hair soft and fresh smelling like his skin. He smelled like his shampoo, and it melded with the scent of the forest around them. His skin was tight and smooth but for raised scars here and there. She moved her fingers and traced another scar that was longer than the one she touched at first, it ran from his collarbone to his right shoulder, it wasn't smooth, the scar was ragged and rough.

Something had torn at his shoulder…something or somebody. Her breath hitched and her grip tightened on his shoulder, her fingers pressing hard onto the scar as if she could flatten it, smooth it back into his skin. She saw him without his shirt countless times before this, how did she not see it? Now, she could feel numerous smooth scars under her finger tips, some uncomfortably close to her heart.

Jacob, who was joking around with Jared and Quil while they wait for Leah to finish checking up on the thermos of hot drinks, packs of food, flashlights and a kerosene lamp in the back pack Kim brought, seemed to sense her thoughts or the tension in her body. "It's old wounds, Bella. I'm fine."

She closed his eyes when he turned his head and brushed his lips across her forehead. Again, it felt like he'd done it a hundred times before. As if it had always been like this between them.

But it wasn't.

Sure, this was not-so-unfamiliar territory for them but certainly it was something new, something uncertain and they have to thread very carefully to avoid all those emotional landmines and realizations that were just waiting to blow up in their faces. She took a deep breath and let it go. "All right."

She felt his eyes on the top of her head but she tucked her face against the curve of his neck, savoring the warmth and strength of his body, trying not to dwell on the pictures of pain and blood in her mind that was conjured by the feel of fading scars.

Her body shifted with his every move and his hands were firm on her thighs. "You guys, ready?"

Several voices answered in the affirmative.

"You ready, Bella?"

There was amusement in his tone that didn't quite go with the situation, her own voice wary as she asked, "Ready for what, exactly?"

Jared's and Leah's woop was loud in the darkness and Quil's laugh sounded further than she expected…she felt Jacob's muscles bunched and then he moved.

No, he _ran_.

In the _dark_.

In a forest made out of tight, dense trees with roots and rocks sticking out of the ground. And stray branches. Branches that could poke and snag and tear.

Did she mention that it was hard for her to even see her hands? Once they've reached further inside the forest, it wasn't even normal dark anymore, the dark was swallowed by a different shade of dark and the wind that slapped at her face and snapped her high pony tail was a wild thing in her ears. "Woah, slow down. _Jake_!" She ducked when she heard a flap of wings and sense something swoop down her head but Jacob only laughed. His bright, excited laughter mingling seamlessly with other laughs, shouts and exclamations.

She really couldn't see a thing, it was as if all the light was sucked in by the line of trees. She could smell the damp air, the green trees and moist earth, she could feel the cool bite of wind and the warmth of Jacob's body moving against her but she couldn't see.

The darkness was smothering her.

And knowing that he was moving, no, _running_ in the darkness in what was probably the speed of a car set her heart to panicking.

The sensation of nothingness was disconcerting, the expectation of crashing and bouncing off trees sent a burst of fear that tightened her throat.

When Jacob moved sharply aside and she felt something whip beside her head, her heart jumped up her throat and landed inside her stomach where it drop with a dull thud.

"Ooops." Jacob's voice was mischievous and unrepentant when she smacked him at the shoulder.

"This is insane!"

She heard Rachel screeched and Kim squeal around her, their voices echoing in the gloom.

"No it isn't. _Yet_." She heard him yell beneath the sound of whistling wind.

She sucked in a breath when a familiar sound rose from a distance. The sound, even when she knew better, made goose bumps broke along her skin and raise the fine hairs on her nape. Her pulse thicken.

The sound was broken only by another and another and another.

The hunting call of wolves.

Bella started when a howl broke near them, _very_ near them and realized that it was only Quil, doing a bang up job of mimicking howls from his human throat.

"Release the hounds!" Jared's cackle seemed to prod the boys into action and she felt the wind nipped harder and she knew that they were running even faster.

It was amazing really, even while her heart pumped faster with adrenalin and fear, she couldn't help but admire Jacob's smooth, even gait. It wasn't as if he was gliding across the ground, more like he was so balanced, so strong that he could cushion every jerk and sharp movement that he needn't move his upper body so much.

If he was a motor vehicle, he's got a bitchin' suspension as Brian would say.

It didn't help with the paralyzing fear though.

And, Bella wondered to herself as she clung helplessly to Jacob, were the howls getting _nearer_?

Then she heard it, the slow, thudding sounds of something heavy and fast…and big, no, _huge_, moving closer.

Then there were the whispery sounds of breathing, of panting…

She could almost feel their hot, moist breaths behind her neck.

Funny thing was, she knew what they were, she knew who they were but that still didn't help with the overwhelming urge to scream bloody murder and runaway. She squirmed against Jacob, fighting the urge to drop on her own two feet and move, move, move.

She perched dutifully on Jacob's back when he tightened his hands on her.

She bit of a frightened yip when something growl behind her. Then something snarled. She heard a sharp snap, the sound of strong jaws with big teeth snapping close.

Bella turned her head, stupid move as it was, to _see_ but she couldn't see anything but black…she could sense them though, hear them.

Her breath caught in her throat when her brain supplied her with the image of what she should be seeing; six giant wolves running at top speed…towards them.

"Holy…" Again, it didn't matter that she knew them, the very thought of them triggered the overwhelming response of flight or fight in that part of her brain that didn't recognize them as friends. Instead it filed them under monsters, predators, big dangerous clawy things, the stuff what nightmares are made off.

Things that not only go bump in the night but bite, snarl and tear you to pieces. Bella opened her mouth to say something, to shout, to demand, to beg for Jacob to run faster, to haul ass or just simply scream but Quil slowed to run beside Jacob and Rachel flicked a flashlight on both their faces, each wearing a wicked grin.

Quil let out an evil cackle before saying in a creepy, high voice, "They're heeereee…"

A growl; deep and dark and _hungry_ broke through the nights sounds.


	27. Midnight Rush

Bella read somewhere that the lower an animal's growl was, the bigger in size they were.

The growl that she was hearing was so deep that she felt it vibrate in her chest. It was so low and raspy that she expected the ground to shake underneath her—well, Jacob's—feet.

At the sound she hunched her shoulders and curled her body against Jacob, presenting a smaller target of herself as was the typical behavior of small prey versus predator and did a full body shudder which Jacob detected and chuckled over.

She was tempted to smack him,but she was far too scared to let go.

Not that she had the chance, she was jerked sharply back away from Jacob's body then was pressed flushed against his back when, unbelievably, her team of werewolves moved even faster.

But it was different this time, when before he moved in an effortless, smooth gait, now he was working harder,s he felt the muscles against her thighs shifted and rolled: faster, harder. His breath was still even and deep but his skin burned hotter, the skin under her fingers grow tighter.

His movements were less smooth when he dug his feet on the ground, pushing almost propelling himself forward.

She heard Rachel and Kim breathless screams amidst a few 'woah' and 'that was close' from the three werewolves ahead of them but underneath the anxiety there was an undertone of laughter and amusement.

Bella cut off her own scream when Jacob jumped over…something then swerved sharply to the left before ducking so fast that she felt the cinnamon bun in her stomach lodged in her throat.

_I will not throw up on Jacob. I will not throw up on Jacob. _The prayer-like litany was stopped by an occasional almost lazy warning from the boys in front. Their voices ranged from between half hearted and nonchalant, saying things like;

"Tree."

"Log."

"Overturn tree."

"Rock."

"Log."

"Branch."

"Slimy moss covered log."

A couple of minutes later, even Quil didn't bother to yell out a warning, from the sound of it, they were following anyone who was on point by reflex alone, running after each other in that weird pack mentality thing that they did.

Atleast, they did until Quil gave a deep, mischievous chortle after they cleared probably another log. "Guys, you just jumped a foot in the air over a _snail_. Overkill, don't you think?"

There was a sharp slap and Leah's low smooth tone answered in kind. "You jumped over it too, doofus."

"Well yeah, _I_ don't want to step on it, it's disgusting. Besides just because _I_ jumped over it didn't mean _you_ have to. What if I jumped over a bridge, are you guys going to.."

Leah and Quil bickered in the same amusing manner even as they streaked in the dark, well, it _would _be amusing if only Bella wasn't so focused on the WOLVES that were chasing after them and gaining fast.

"Uh, Jake?" She kept her voice level and soft, knowing that Jacob can hear her anyway.

He turned his head a little to show that he heard her.

"That's Sam and the others right? There are no other wolves or uh, other werewolves that moved in when I moved out, right?"

"I don't know. How about we stop and ask them?"

A sharp snap and another rendition of low growls made her screech and tighten her hold on him.

Bella took a deep breath and tried to slow her heartbeat but yeah, there was no chance of that. She squinted and tried to see and caught glimpses of less darker shadows and once or twice when she looked over her shoulder, she thought she could see eyes, glinting sharply.

There was something to be said about not being able to see, she felt her skin vibrate with energy and awareness, and the forest around her seemed to come alive from the sharpening of her other senses.

She could smell the damp earth, disturbed and turned over by Jacob's feet, the tiniest hint of green leaves and pine and when she lifted her head just right, the muskiness of fur and man. She stiffened when she felt something big pass her from the side, felt a brush of fur and let out a shuddering breath when a howl spilled to the night air from her left.

She could feel them around her, running beside them, letting out growls and snarls and snapping their jaws, contributing to the pump of adrenalin and fear that rushed her heart. She bit her lip when Jacob ducked down and she sensed something slid overhead and heard it thump back to the ground She felt a rush of hot breath, felt the sharp jerk on her jacket before Jacob pivoted and ran sideways.

There was the low rasp of the wolf version of a chuckle right behind them before those big presence disappeared again.

Then a few seconds after that, they appeared again, 'attacking' them before disappearing yet again. It was after a few of those feigned attacks that Bella realized that they were herding them as a pack of wolves would do.

Only, when wolves would go after the weak after they part their prey from the herd, the werewolves were going after Jacob, their Alpha…and her.

She heard Jacob cursed although his voice was laced with wry amusement and resignation, he hitched her tighter around his body, leaped up, took hold of a sturdy branch and curled his legs up in the process. She clung to him and gasped when she felt something jumped beneath them but Jacob was faster, he dropped down and ran in zig-zag motions, making the most of hiss flexibility and human agility to his advantage.

The wolves were fast and agile than their natural counterparts, but they were still a large mass of muscle over dense bone, not that they were awkward but it was harder for them to change directions, to pause once they've reached their momentum.

Not that their handicapped stopped them from getting to her. She got a dirty paw tapped her back, a snort of breath blowing her hair to her face, a cold wet nose that she just somehow knew was Seth's at the nape of her neck.

She was torn between hysterical laughter and screaming her lungs out when she realized she was playing the werewolf version of _tag_.

"Oh, jeez. _This_ is your tradition?" She mumbled tightly into Jacob's neck.

"Tradition. Initiation. Hazing, whatever." Jacob shrugged, she could almost hear the smirk in his voice.

Her heart clambered in her chest, her blood roared in her ears and her skin tingled with goosebumps even as they broke through the lines of trees into a clearing that was adorned with hills and cliffs made of solid rock, her eyes were so used to the dark that the lack of dense shadows were almost blinding. The open air hit her almost like a solid object and she sucked in a sharp breath at the impact.

She shivered when an array of howls erupted from the wolves that she could finally see and _man,_ it was like seeing them again for the first time. They looked even larger than she remembered and they were an impressive sight to begin with. The air simply crackled with raw, wild energy.

But she recognized Sam, Paul, Embry, Seth, Colin and Brady, their pelts and teeth glistening in starlight. From her team, Quil was the first to stop and both he and Rachel let out a whoop, dropped and rolled on the damp grass, free and unfettered.

When Jacob skidded to a stop, she thought that both Quil and Rachel had a good idea so when he released her she slid off Jacob's back, right to the ground.

"Whoa. You're all right?" Jacob, an amused smile on his face, stood over her while she laid on her back sucking in air and trying to hear anything against the fast thud and roar of heart and blood. She glanced to her left where Seth planted his rump beside her hip, his tail thumping hard on the ground beside her head and cocked his head at her, his tongue lolling out in a wolfish grin.

Out of breath, paper thin close to a coronary, surrounded by the dark and werewolves, Bella couldn't help it. She tried to press her lips together to hold it in but she just _couldn't_. She whimpered, the sound, small and helpless and soft.

But it didn't stay that way, the sound made way to a giggle the grew to a chuckle that rapidly evolved into a gut busting-full out-laugh out loud laughter.

Her throat burned and her inside's clenched in stitches as if _she_ was the one doing all the running but _damn_, it's been a long, long time since she just let loose and for the very first time in years, she just went with it.

She laughed and laughed and laughed until it seemed her laughter echoed in the night sky. Tears pricked the corner of her eyes but she still laughed herself silly as a combination of knee-weakening relief and heart pumping adrenalin urged her to laugh even harder.

She turned to her side and giggled, guffawed, wheezed with her arms around her stomach, letting out incoherently words between laughs. "God—that was—crazy—awesome—insane—I cannot believe—Oh MY God."

When she caught Jacob threw a smug look toward Jared she laughed again, especially after he heard him say, "Told you she could take it."

She wheezed when Embry pushed his cold nose to Quil's back who squeaked in surprise and added a sullen. "Yeah, yeah. I'll pay you later."

Her laughter was so wild, so loud and so contagious that even Rachel gave a grudging smile.

"Please," Colin—after phasing back—scoffed. "After being chased after by an army of newborn leeches, this was a cakewalk."

"You know, I never understood what that means. Cakewalk. Cake walk. Cake. Walk. That never made any sense to me." Brady followed his brother to complete the loose circle made with their bodies around the crackling warm fire while Kim passed out food. Rachel was sipping hot coffee and scuffling over a cinnamon bun with Paul. Bella wanted to help but she was still too weak from her extreme bout of hilarity so she stayed on her back, enjoying the warmth glow of fire when Jacob dropped beside her, the sunset shade of fire highlighting the grin on his face.

"You okay?"

Bella nodded, wondering about the weird glow of satisfaction that was pulsing within her, not to mention the sudden sharp awareness of her body and her surroundings. When she tried to speak, she was surprised by the fact that she was slurring her words, as if she was drunk.

"That good, huh?" Jacob laughed. "Take your time." He reached for her shoulders and tugged her up so she sat propped up against his chest, sighing deeply when he put his arms around her, rubbing his cheek on the top of her head. Bella struggled with herself for a moment, before finally relaxing, curving her back against his chest, settling herself onto one of his arms so she could see his face from the corner of her eyes.

She watched him as he bickered with Embry and Quil, his face as relax, his expression as happy as she ever saw him. And it made _her_ happy, even when she caught the pleased smile on Kim's face when she looked at them.

She sipped on her hot coffee and as usual was happy to watch and laugh at the werewolves' antiques, exchanged cooking horror stories with Kim and tried not too hard to interpret Rachel's silent, watchful looks.

She blinked when Seth looked at her with a wide smirk. "What?"

He grinned. "Does your jacket have a hood, Bella?"

She frowned at the question but answered with reaching back and putting the hood over her head.

She heard Jacob snort before the others joined Seth in laughter. She frowned even deeper and felt the deep mortification of every person that has ever been laughed at. "_What_?"

Jacob's laughter rumbled up her spine when he squeezed her closer. "Oh, Bells, honey."

She turned sideways and scowled despite the heat in her cheeks. "_What_?"

His dark eyes glittered down at her, his smile changing the angles and dips of his face and deepening his eyes. "You're jacket is _red_. With a hood." He twirled a finger, indicating his friends. "Wolves."

Bella's groan and rolling eyes only made them laugh even longer while they passed marshmallows and sausages on sticks.

She was trying not to be distracted from her conversation with Kim by Jacob's fingers sliding in and out of the chain on her wrists, playing absent-mindedly with the charms when she noticed that Paul was talking to Leah in deep urgent tones.

Then she noticed that _she_ wasn't the only one who noticed.

"I'm fine." Leah gritted her teeth and batted Paul's reaching hand but even Bella could tell that she was flat out lying. Sweat glistened on her throat and her hair was damp with it. Her face was tense as was her body language, she sat with her arms around her knees, holding herself tightly. She ground her teeth and hunched her shoulders when a shudder escaped her control.

Paul stood up and held out a hand. "You're _not_ fine. Come on. Let's go for a run."

Leah merely curled herself even tighter and ignored him, her eyes looking into the fire as if it held all the answers to the universe.

Bella saw Sam, who she realized sat as far as he could from Leah, shifted subtly to keep Leah in his line of sight, both of his hands clenched on his knees. The skin over his cheekbones stretched tight.

When she felt Jacob tensed, she knew that he was also paying attention to whatever that was playing out in front of their eyes. They watched as Seth dropped down beside his sister and whispered softly to her but Leah stubbornly ignored him.

"Leah, don't—"

"Sam." Jacob called out to the older man who snapped his mouth close and glared at Jacob. Bella was taken aback by the shimmering resentment in Sam's eyes before he blanked them and turned back to the fire he was gazing into. From the livid expression on Leah's face when Sam spoke to her, Bella guessed Jacob was right in stopping Sam from saying whatever he wanted to say.

Jacob's voice was gentle but firm as he spoke to Leah from where they were saying. "Go, Leah."

Leah finally tilted her head to look at Jacob and Bella could see the hurt in her face. "But, I—"

"Leah." Jacob's voice was no longer gentle but not unkind. "You know what's at risk. Go."

She looked away but jerked a nod and stood up in one smooth motion but her walk was stiff, whether with anger or annoyance, Bella didn't know. But she saw the looks of concern that were aimed at her back and she also saw the way Jacob nodded to Seth and Paul who followed Leah a second after. Something was going on underneath the usual awkward hostility between Leah and Sam, something that Jacob was hiding from her.

Something that she knew she had to earn in order to know. So she stayed silent and didn't ask, but she relaxed her body against Jacob's and was rewarded with the easing of his muscles a few seconds later.

His fingers started to play with her bracelet again and she let him. She resumed talking to Kim, entertaining her with Brian's latest debacle of trying to mix mochi with spaghetti and Jacob resumed talking to Embry about who was suppose to be working what around the rez.

She couldn't help but noticed that she haven't exchanged a lot of words with Jacob but she guessed, it couldn't be helped with the many, many unresolved matters between them. But Bella knew that it would be resolved this week though she still was at lost on the how.

She was busy answering Kim's questions and pondering on what would happen when she and Jacob finally talk edthat she started when Jake started sharply. Then, just then, did she hear the cascading sharp howls from a distance.

Everybody was immediately on their feet, including her but that was due to Jacob who lifted her up with him.

Without any explanation, Embry kicked sand over the fire, raking it with a stick to make sure the fire was dead before joining Sam, Jared and Quil in a rip of fur and snarls. With a nod from Jacob, Sam streaked into the dark with Jared while Embry and Quil prowled and scuffed their enormous claws on the ground, their eyes and ears flickering to where Sam disappeared.

Bella blinked until her eyes got used to the dark and was relieved when Kim flicked on a flashlight but Embry jerked the flashlight from her hands and tossed it down to the ground, he snapped his jaws and growled out a warning.

"No flashlights." Jacob admonished Kim who fisted her hands together and nodded. Colin and Brady dipped down and let Kim and Rachel climb onto their backs.

The remaining werewolves turned as one to the tree lines and Leah burst out in human form toward them, her golden eyes flickered to Jacob and without further ado hitched Bella onto her back.

"Vampires? Now?" Bella whispered, her arms holding tight onto Leah's shoulders.

"They are four of them as much as we can tell. Maybe more." Leah wasn't answering Bella's question but was notifying her Alpha. Bella knew that the wolves were already mentally sharing information.

Leah eyed Jacob, Quil and Embry, Bella felt the sizzle of connection between them, something that went further, deeper than whatever she came to know. "Speed and safety, brothers."

Bella felt a ripple in the air at the words and again when they repeated them back to her and Colin and Brady. When Jacob's eyes shifted and held on to hers before turning away she had to bit her lip before she called out his name.

She had learned the hard way that no one could stop Jacob from ever doing what he had to do, and even though it's only been a couple of months, Bella knew that being a Protector was already so much a part of what he was, that his sense of duty and obligation had intertwined so deeply with his sense of self that asking him to stay with her, and oh, how she wanted to, was the same as asking him not to be himself.

And _that_ she would never do.

And that she _refused_ to do.

She knew better. _Now_.

As if Leah knew what she was thinking, she hitched her higher on her back, more effortless that she could have if she was a normal girl, then with a sharp word in Quileute, led the twins back into the forest.

A.N: Sorry about the lateness guys, I'm currently working on an original story...here's to hoping I can get it published!


	28. an unkindness

Bella knew they were just as worried—if not more—as her but they sure weren't showing it. From Kim she knew Colin and Brady would be patrolling the rez's lines. Every thirty minutes, Leah got out of Jacob's house and strolled into the dark, sniffing the air before coming in again.

Four or more vampires, she thought, against six werewolves.

She knew the werewolves were strong but she remembered The Cullens, James, Laurent and Victoria then there was The Volturi and the newborns.

For all she knew of the werewolves durability and power, they were still human to her while the vampires—truth be told—were not.

Yes, some of them were good and she hoped these trespassing vampires have golden eyes rather than red or black…she did mention the difference of their eye colors to Jacob once, didn't she?

Although, she had no idea what the vampires would think of the werewolves and how they would react to giant mutant wolves that could kill them. Vegetarian or not, vampires were a territorial and aggressive lot.

The thought lodged in her brain and wouldn't go away but Leah wasn't here yet, and she wasn't sure…her eyes dropped to Rachel who was smacking the hell out of the old TV when another thought latched onto her brain, how _did_ Rachel know about the werewolves anyway? Did Jacob tell her sister like he once told her? Or did she get special dispensation because she was family of one of the elders? Like Sue had?

She distracted herself from the churning of her stomach with compiling questions for Jacob when her eyes shifted to Kim who was busying herself with washing dishes though now she was gazing into space, one soapy hand touching her left cheek...

…where Jared laid his fingers before phasing and following Sam.

She felt her stomach twist when Kim blinked, folded her lips into a straight line and straightened her shoulders before continued with the dishes.

In the line of her shoulders and spine, she saw strength and pride that she couldn't help but admire. Shy, silent Kim, keeping her head up despite the sickly fear that weighed her down. This is what they have to deal with again and again, agonizing fear and mind numbing worry, trying to fill the time while they wait for their guys to come home.

She wondered about Emily who was pregnant and hoped that she wasn't alone.

Jacob's front door opened and in entered Leah, her eyes focused, her movements precise and even though there was a tightness around her eyes and her shoulders, she made a show of haranguing Kim for something to eat and telling off Rachel to 'stop hammering the damn TV' before she folded onto one of the ragged yet comfortable chairs beside the couch she was on. A scowl on her face before focusing on what Bella held in her hands.

"What's that about?"

Bella cringed and mentally smacked herself for bringing her books on various pockets of her jacket. Especially_ these_ books. "Um. Nothing."

She raised one delicate eyebrow. "Patricia Briggs. Mooncalled. Let me guess, it's about werewolves."

"A little bit."

She snorted before snagging the book from the pile at her elbow. "Hey, Rach, check it out. She's reading about werewolves."

Bella tried to sink into the couch she was laying on when Rachel ambled toward them. "Hey, I know that one. It's pretty good. Haven't read the second one though."

When Rachel and Leah shifted their eyes to her she was compelled to lift the book that she was reading, showing that it _was_ the second series she was reading.

Rachel plopped her butt on the floor beside the couch and stared at her in a pointed manner. "You're done with that, right?"

When she surrendered the book to Rachel's grasp, she could hear Kim's sympathetic laughter.

Leah slumped on her seat, straightened her legs and flipped through the pages, chuckling once or twice. Deprived of both her books, Bella ambled away to the kitchen where Kim was. "They'll probably be hungry, don't you think?"

Kim nodded while she rinsed dishes. "They usually are."

After sharing an indulgent, amused look with Kim, Bella scoured the kitchen for anything that resembled food. She found a loaf of bread and decided to slice some cheese and prepare cold cuts. She saw Kim's thoughtful look when she turned to get plates. "What?"

Kim smiled and turned off the faucet. "I'm just glad that you and Jacob are together again."

Bella felt a twinge in the vicinity of her chest. "Oh."

A subtle line appeared between Kim's brows. "You are together, right?"

Bella played with the slices of cheese in her hands. "Not…not exactly. We still have a lot of…issues to go over." And technically, it's not like they've ever been 'together'.

"Oh, you mean..." Kim flushed darkly but seemed determined. "Are you're still… married?"

"No, no I'm not." She shook her head and shifted her feet. She didn't dare look over her shoulder but somehow she knew both Leah and Rachel were paying attention. "I mean, I wasn't married in the first place."

Kim looked taken aback. "Oh." She blinked a few times, as if unsure how to react. "_Oh_. Does Jacob know?"

"Um, yes, he found out um, a couple of days ago."

An expression came and went across Kim's face, something that went along the lines of 'oh, that make sense', it made her wonder how Jacob was behaving these last few days. "So, you weren't married but you were still together with the vampire, I mean, with…him."

"Not really."

Kim's dark eyes leveled with hers, straight and silently demanding. "So, it's over between him and you?"

She felt her heart clenched painfully and the words caught in her throat. "It looks that way."

"You don't sound sure."

Bella turned to find Rachel looking at her with accusing eyes.

"I'm not. We didn't get to talk about it…he just left."

"And he never came back?"

"Not for a year now."

"Jacob knows about this?"

Bella nodded and wiped her hands on a dishrag. "Yes, I told him everything."

"Has the vampire called you or whatever?"

"No."

"Have you tried contacting him?"

"No."

Bella knew that this inquisition would start sooner or later but she couldn't fight the annoyed spark that flashed and burned every time Rachel and Leah exchanged wary glances. "What?"

She knew her annoyance showed in her voice when Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Just wondering whether you're here, with Jacob, by default."

She tried processing that statement but, nope, she couldn't. She gaped at Rachel, at Leah. "What are you saying? That I'm here because…because-"

"The vampire left you." Leah continued helpfully. Right.

"Is that what you guys think?" Leah and Rachel's expressions were unreadable but Kim's was an open book.

Bella felt sick at first, strangely betrayed but not on account of herself but on account of Jacob. Both Edward and Jacob were so different that she didn't bother to compare them and never, even when she was at her most aggravated with Jacob had she ever thought that he was somehow less than Edward.

No sane woman would ever feel anything other than flattered when someone as good and as—let's face it—hot as Jacob showered her with attention.

_Do they really think that I'm that horrible? Did I make that bad of an impression? Or do they just think I'm stupid?_

"That's, that's crazy." She replied weakly, still shocked. A thought speared her mind and sickened her stomach. "Is that what everybody thinks?"

Leah shrugged. "It's not like you didn't leave him high and dry the first chance you got, again and again. The second the leech came back after he left you, somehow you just seemed to forget about Jacob, about how much he did good by you and you just walked off into the sunset with your bloodsucker. Now, here you are again like you just never left." Leah snorted. "I expected more of him. Sure, Jacob's a guy, but he's never been one to think very much with his dick before."

Kim winced but Rachel merely rolled her eyes.

Bella heard the derisive snort, the disdainful expression on Leah's face and something rose inside her, something very close to rage that made her straighten her spine and lift her chin. It made her fingers clenched into fists and her mouth curled into a subtle snarl. "Shut up, Leah. Yes, I've been a flaming, ungrateful bitch when it comes to Jacob and I'm the first who'll admit that most of the time I don't deserve him but that doesn't mean I'll sit here and let you mouth off about…and it's not like I didn't try to give him space—"

"You shouldn't have come back here." Leah started.

"What I should or shouldn't do is none of your business." Bella cut her off which seemed to aggravate Leah even more. She leaped from her seat and stood with her feet planted firmly on the floor.

"The minute your business touch Jacob, it became my business. Who do you think had to pick up the pieces when you flounced away into God knows where? Six months, he went away six months and when he came back he was hardly Jacob anymore. You broke him then, Swan and I swear, if you break him now, I'll gut you with one claw at a time."

Bella flinched back, not because of the threat, gruesome at it was, but because the knowledge of Jacob's pain. "I know I hurt him."

Leah folded her hands and narrowed her eyes.

"He told me. We dealt with it."

She gave a derisive laugh. "Did you? Somehow I doubt he told all of it, if he did you won't be so quick to plant yourself into his life."

All her anger faded and changed into dread when her eyes flickered to Rachel's flat expression to Kim's worried one. "Everything? What do you mean?"

Leah watched her with calculating eyes. "Did you see the scars that run from his collarbone to his left shoulder?" Leah spat out the question.

"Yes, I just noticed tonight."

"Yeah, it's fine now, hardly noticeable but when it happened…"

Bella saw Kim hugged herself, her stance told her that whatever happened was really, really bad. A sideways glance at Rachel told her although the older girl was upset, she didn't react as much as Kim did so she assumed that it happened before Rachel got home.

"Jake was torn up pretty good. We know that he healed worst injuries than that but for a minute there, it was touch and go. There was blood everywhere and his shoulder was pretty much mangled meat and muscle and bone. If he was normal he would've lost the hand, perhaps wouldn't survive because he was losing so much blood. We couldn't figure how it could happen, it was just the one vampire after all, anyone of us could've handled it in a matter of minutes." Leah's snarly face changed, she ran fingers through her hair, spiking up the top, as if even now, she didn't understand. "There were no bruises, no other cuts but those on his shoulder, it was as if he didn't fight back when the bloodsucker tore at him and we just didn't get what happened but then we saw her."

Leah's golden eyes speared Bella where she stood, the look on her eyes closed to hate. "The vampire had long brown hair, pale skin, she was slender and fragile looking."

Bella's breath got out in a great big woosh and the world tilted for a while until she managed to grip the kitchen table. "_No_."

Leah's eyes narrowed on Bella's pale horrified face, could practically smell the tears that wet her eyes but she couldn't help herself, she dug in the knife a little harder, a little deeper…and twisted. "We saw it happen inside our minds, the jolt of mistaken recognition, the struggle between human and wolf. " And pain. And love so overwhelming it swamped their mind until they were crippled by it. "When the vampire bitch came at him, he just stood there while both his instincts scream at him to kill, to hurt, to run. But he just stood there, stood there and let her kill him because he thought she was you--"

Bella was blinded by tears as Leah's words scrambled her mind and shredded her heart into tiny little pieces. She heard voices…no not voices, sounds; helpless, horrible little sounds came out from her throat. Her hands were in front of her chest, trembling, trying to block out the images that came with Leah's words; of crazed ebony eyes, of reddish fur clumped wetly together by blood…

"Leah. That's enough."

Gentle but strong hands enveloped Bella, brushing her back in long gentle sweeps while she made agonized whimpers and sounds because the nightmare-like images wouldn't go away.

"Come on." The voice that came with the hands was firm and clipped and she pushed her forward with a strength that said she was not to be denied and a small part of her mind registered that the cradling arms were Rachel's.

She tried to stop; stop imagining, stop thinking, stop reacting in such a way but once again, she felt the web-like scars on Jacob's skin under her fingertips, some of them inching much too close to his heart and her brain refused to flinch away from the ugly pictures in her head.

She couldn't breathe at the thought of Jacob, fierce, protective, strong Jacob, frozen in the path of a _vampire_.

A vampire that looked a lot like her.

She felt her lungs burn for oxygen but she couldn't breathe and soon, spots appeared in front of her eyes…and darkness beckoned.

A/N: How Bella was it to overreact like that? But still, I guessed she'd be pretty upset you know...considering...


	29. Obstacles

There was a sharp sting on her cheek, and light flooded her eyes once again. "Ow."

Rachel's voice was even when she said, "For God's sake. Don't faint on me."

Bella heard a snicker and knew it was Leah. She also heard a soft murmuring protest and knew it was Kim.

She should've known that Rachel helping her out would be too good to be true. Besides, why the hell would she?

Considering the situation, she had the right to dangle her from a tree by the ankles for stray vampires to chew on. She blinked tears away from her eyes and saw Rachel frowning at her like she was a misbehaving child.

Her stomach still churned, and she still felt sick with _guiltguiltguilt,_ but the world was steady once more.

Her left cheek stung.

"If she faints again, can _I_ slap her?" Leah asked Rachel hopefully. Jacob's sister scowled at her, but scowled even deeper at Bella.

"No one is slapping anyone." Rachel's no-nonsense voice seemed loud and way too hard. "Leah, stop being such a bitch."

"Can't. It's in my genes."

Kim snickered, but quickly pressed her lips together when Rachel rolled her eyes. "Jake's a grown man, let him make his own choices."

Bella, still a little dizzy, wiped her eyes and caught the look Rachel gave her.

"Let him make his own mistakes."

Oh, ouch.

"And you." Rachel speared an accusing finger at her. "Get over yourself. Leah embellished the story a little. It was true that he was caught off guard, so he froze for a second. Unfortunately, a second was all the vampire needed to rip at him, but that didn't mean he just lay there, willing himself to die. It takes more than _you_ to get Jake down, so don't go on thinking you drove him to suicide or something." Rachel grimaced in distaste. "We of all people are not weak."

Bella winced when she caught the look of amused disdain from Leah's face that seemed to say, "We're not, but _you_ are."

Rachel sighed deeply and crossed her arms in front of her chest, those dark eyes—so like Jacob's—taking her in. "After that being said, I don't like you, Swan, and I probably never will. Something about you grates on my nerves. Maybe it's because you never seem to know what you want, while most of it is because you broke my little brother's heart." She narrowed her eyes at her, and Bella couldn't help but straighten her back. Rachel shrugged. "But that couldn't be helped, since you already made it clear that you were in love with the freakin' vampire and, in fact, were ready to marry him. It was his own damn fault for not being able to let you go."

Bella stared at Rachel in amazement, but closed her mouth when her eyes flashed back to hers.

"But now you're _here_. You sauntered into his life again out of your own choice." Rachel's eyes flashed, and to Bella, she seemed taller somehow. "So, I'm warning you, Swan, if you break my little brother's heart again, you better make it clean and fast, and you better not come back here again after that, or so help me, wolves and vampires will be the least of your concerns. Do you hear me?"

Bella nodded. Slowly. Her innards rioted even with that movement.

"Indicate that you hear me."

"I hear you."

Rachel kept watching her with sharp eyes before finally nodding and flicking a disinterested hand in her direction. "Go, before you barf on Jacob's bed."

Jacob's bed and room was a blur before her eyes as she rushed to the bathroom, dropped to her knees before the toilet bowl and hurled, accompanied by Leah's amused laugh.

"You're mad at me for making her faint? You slapped her _and _made her throw up."

"Guys, come on. Give her space, huh?"

Spent, Bella breathed hard against the toilet bowl. This time, the gentle but strong hands were Kim's. She held back her hair and brushed her back with firm circular strokes. She gave her a glass of water and a spare toothbrush, and clutching those two things to her chest, Bella gave a little cry.

She just couldn't get over the fact that Jacob almost _died,_ and she could almost imagine getting that phone call from Charlie.

She spat out the minty toothpaste and washed out her mouth, tears plopping into the bathroom sink. And would she even know _how_ he died? Certainly no one from the pack would tell _her_ the true story, not if he did die that way. They would tell Charlie lies, and then Charlie would tell those lies to her, and she would never know the truth.

That sudden thought ripped her heart even more. She washed her face and rubbed hard with the towel that Kim gave her. She had to know. "Was that the only time?"

"What do you mean?"

Bella drew away the towel from her face and lifted damp eyes to Kim's soft face. "Were there a lot of close calls? For Jacob? For the pack?"

Kim tilted her head, her chin-length hair brushing one side of her cheek. "They all get injured, they all get wounded. That's what they do."

"You didn't answer my question."

Kim put the toilet seat down and sat. "That was a one-time thing. The pack is very efficient, Bella."

Bella wiped her face again, finding comfort in the rough texture of the towel against her raw skin.

"There's another thing that you need to know."

Her heart shuddered at the quiet tone of Kim's voice, at the way Kim folded her arms on her lap. She should look ridiculous, after all, she was sitting on a toilet, but she didn't. She looked solemn, serious, regretful but determined.

_OhGodohGod, what now?_

"Bella," she started tentatively. "What will you do when Jacob imprints?"

Bella didn't know whether to wince at the question or at the loud sound of glass breaking from somewhere in the kitchen.

Sensing another round of emotional turmoil, Bella made do and slid herself to the floor. "What?"

"What will you do when Jacob imprints?"

"When not if?"

Kim's thick lashes swallowed her eyes when she looked down at her hands before meeting Bella's eyes again. "It could happen. After Sam, Quil, Jared… The pack never had so many of them imprint like this before."

Her heart shuddered again, "But the pack before Jacob's pack was mostly made out of four or three, right? So when you think about it…the ratio is about the same, right?"

Kim nodded, slowly, as if taking that into account. "It's possible."

"Jake said," Bella cleared her aching throat when her voice wobbled. "He said it won't happen to him."

God, she could almost hear the lost little girl inside her own voice, and when Kim's dark eyes landed on hers with that soft understanding look on her face, she felt…all sorts of stupid.

What _would_ she do if Jacob imprinted?

How would she feel seeing Jacob with another girl?

Heartbroken. Sick. Desperate.

Just imagining it made a part of her die a slow, painful death.

Seeing, _knowing_ Jacob would wrap himself around another girl, building his world around her. Seeing that absolute loving expression that Sam always wore around Emily…

Bella couldn't be sure that she wouldn't drive herself a little bit crazy.

_Would I be like Leah?_ She wondered. _Bitter and angry and lost?_

_Would it feel like when Edward left?_

She jerked away when a warm hand reached hers.

Kim looked at her with a worried expression. "You weren't breathing."

And now that Bella noticed her chest was aching, she sucked in a breath and leaned against the closet below the sink.

Kim stood and reached out her hand. "Maybe we should get you off the floor. Come on."

Bella settled into Jacob's bed, and Kim wrapped a bright blanket in Quileute colors around her shoulders. Rachel and Leah were nowhere to be seen.

Kim didn't look surprised that they took off, considering the topic and Leah's sensitive ears.

The house was quiet except for the occasional creaking and Billy's soft snore. When Bella settled back on the pillows, she realized that Jacob's room was roomier than the last time she was here; in fact, it was a vast improvement. And like the room in JEQ, the walls were lined with books and wood carvings.

"It helps with his control." Kim offered when she noticed Bella looking. "They always have to be in strict control of their tempers, and they have their own methods. Sam fixes his house, Seth helps his mother cook, Leah takes long solitary walks, some drive around, work out, Jared takes morning swims, Jacob fiddles with engines and carves wood. It's a sort of meditation technique." She shifted from foot to foot.

"Your vampires, Bella, you consider them good, worthy, because they gave up human blood."

Bella nodded, her eyes still on the rows and rows of carvings, she even spotted a half-done one, as if he left it there to finish later.

"But they lose control of themselves once or twice, don't they?"

She tried not to get defensive, but lost the battle. "It's hard, what they do—"

"What Jacob and the pack do every day, every single second of their lives, is also hard." Kim reprimanded her softly. "And they can't afford to lose control."

Bella's eyes flickered to Kim's. "Your vampires, they're solitary, they live in recluse. Yes, they mingle with humans, but they don't have roots in the community. _We_ do, we live among humans, we have friends, family, cousins and relations. We have a place, a status in the reservation, in Forks. They know us, they trust us. If something bad happens, if one of them lost even a minute of that tight control, what do you think would happen?"

Bella swallowed, picturing a rampaging werewolf in the tight, cloistered reservation, along with Emily's ravaged face.

"We can't just move, we can't just sweep it under the carpet, we can't go away and hope everyone would forget it." Kim's soft face settled into an expression that Bella had never seen before. "The pack could never really let go, never really be free, unless amongst themselves. They live their lives as if they are always under close scrutiny, and they can never, _ever_ slip." She brushed her hair away from her face. "They have it hard, too, Bella. They just never show it."

As if restless, Kim paced across the room, touching a finger to one carving after another. "So, we who know their secret, we try to make it easier for them, to give them space, room to stretch—"

Bella frowned, not understanding the implication, the jump of topics, and Kim's odd choice of words. "I don't understand."

Kim sighed. "Don't you see, Bella? They're trapped here, and imprinting is just another bar in the cage."

Bella stared at Kim in shock. "But, but—"

Kim plopped herself on the edge of the bed. "Of course, Sam doesn't feel that way. Or Jared or Quil for that matter. They're happy and content, but that's how the imprinting functions."

"I love Jared and he loves me." Kim bit her perfectly curved lips. "But, what everyone tried to ignore was, if it wasn't for imprinting, Jared would probably never have noticed me."

"I'm sure that's not true."

Kim gave a little smile. "Yes, it is. We've known each other forever, I think we're cousins seventh removed or something, we sat next to each other in several classes, but it wasn't until he started to phase that he _saw_ me." She gave a chiding look when Bella made protesting noises. "I try not to lie to myself, Bella."

Bella didn't know what to say, so she clamped her lips together, even when Kim gave a small shake of her head.

"The pack might be wary of imprinting, but once they do imprint, they…they're happy." Kim eyed her face in a disturbingly knowing way. "Jacob calls it the werewolf brainwash."

Bella winced.

"Did Jacob explain about imprinting?"

Bella shrugged, wanting out of the conversation.

"It's the wolf's way of ensuring superpups."

Bella sucked in a breath. "_What_?"

Kim burst into laughter. "Oh, Bella. Your face. _Priceless_." She waved a hand as she settled down to giggles. She grinned. "It's the same with us humans, you know."

"_How_?"

"The science of attraction is that we are attracted to other people that have a higher immune system than ours, right? It's basically the same thing. You noticed that the girls are all Quileute, right?"

Bella thought back and nodded.

"The wolf inside them detects who would have the higher chance of preserving the werewolf genetic trait and _wham_. Instant soul mate."

Bella eyed Kim and wondered why she didn't look distressed or upset.

"I'm happy, Bella. Jared's happy. I might have felt disappointed at first and guilty even, but let me tell you, they're not easy to live with either."

Intrigued, Bella forgot all about _her_ dismay and guilt, even her roiling stomach. "What do you mean?"

"Other girls worry about their boyfriends cheating or getting restless or going into strip bars." Kim rolled her eyes. "I never have to worry about _that, _but in exchange, I have to worry about him getting angry in public places, or his territorial streak, or every time he gets a call at night and slips out the door. Plus, there's the laundry."

Bella blinked. "The laundry?"

"They sweat _alot_. Especially in the winter, because they have to cover themselves up like normal people, and you know what a bitch it is to do laundry in winter. And I won't even start about the mud and dirt that they track on the floor whenever they come home. Have you ever seen their feet after? Disgusting. And then there's the food."

Bella nodded, she understood about the food, having to cook once in a while for the pack.

"And if they get cooped up one minute too long, they get antsy and snarly and really, really annoying. And in the summer, having them around you is a chore. They're just so _hot_." Kim gave Bella an impish smile. "In more ways than one."

Bella's mouth quirked up, before she was reminded of what they were talking about. "Is imprinting so absolute, then?"

Kim smiled, slow and a little bit sad. "Yes. It's elemental, Bella. Basic. It's right up there with instinct. When—_if_ Jacob imprints, considering he is also Alpha, his blood is the strongest, the thickest, the imprinting would hit him harder than anyone else."

Bella swallowed, trying to wet her throat, but her mouth was dry. "So, you're saying that it would be better for me to…leave?"

"No, I'm not saying it would be better. Easier, yes. And for Jacob, too."

Kim must have seen the confusion on her face, because Kim continued. "Of all the pack members, Jacob was the most determined to fight back against the genetic control. He _hated_ imprinting. The minute he went Alpha, he pushed Seth, Colin and Brady to go to college, to get work outside the rez, to, well, to have a life _outside _of the pack and the 'werewolf crap' as he put it." Kim sighed. "If he imprinted, he would fight against it, especially with you here. He wouldn't stand for it. He couldn't live with having the imprinting control him. He couldn't deal with losing you all over again."

"But I thought once you imprinted, you stopped loving anyone else. Wasn't that what happened to Sam and…Leah?" Bella lowered her voice on Leah's name and looked around anxiously.

Kim smiled softly. "Did you stop loving Jacob when Edward came back?"

Maybe it was the question. Maybe it was Edward's name out of Kim's mouth. Maybe it was just the whole strange situation, but Bella's brain simply froze. "I don't…I don't understand."

Kim stood again, and like before, she strolled towards the shelves and plucked four carvings, then handed one to Bella.

It was a wolf, made out of a brown reddish color that almost matched Jacob's fur. The wood was warm and smooth to the touch, and it was so beautiful, it made her eyes sting. The wolf was standing on all fours on a cliff, its eyes looking far ahead as if it was trying to see something. Waiting. Expectant. She ran her fingers over the minute, detailed surface, imagining Jacob's hands carving, cutting, rubbing, smoothing. "It's beautiful."

"Look at the bottom."

She blinked; her eyes flickered to Kim's before flipping the carving over. What she saw made her heart catch in her throat.

September 19th 2012

22

"My birthday…"

Kim handed another one, and her heart dove into her stomach at the sight of the second carving. It showed a girl with long hair, her back against a wolf's side, a book in her hand. The wolf's body curved around her, its head propped on its folded front paws. It showed safety, contentment and simple pleasures. This time, she didn't need Kim to tell her to flip it over.

September 19th 2009

19

Bella's hand stretched for the third carving, which featured the same girl and wolf standing side by side on a cliff, her hand lost in the wolf's fur, her shoulders straight. Her posture spoke of pride and strength.

September 19th 2010

20

The fourth spoke of peace, of comfort, of protectiveness, with the girl sleeping on her side, half her body propped against the wolf, which surrounded her with its body, its nose touching the forehead of the girl in a kiss.

September 19th 2011

21

She leaned back when Kim made a move to take the carvings. "I think it's supposed to be like this." Kim shifted the carvings one by one according to the year it was made.

The wolf and the girl with the book.

The wolf and the girl standing on a cliff.

The wolf and the sleeping girl.

The wolf on the cliff, alone.

Kim's eyes were sad when she set the single wolf at the end of the line. "He didn't know if you were dead or alive, but he celebrated your birthday, remembered your age."

Bella's chest was heavy, her throat, her eyes, her face _ached, _and her trembling hands hovered over the carvings, but couldn't seem to touch them.

"He would never leave you." Kim whispered softly. "Even if he imprinted, he would never leave you. He would fight it, strain against it, and when he did, it would destroy him."


	30. Unanswered

30. Unanswered

Chapter theme: The Fray-Unsaid

And not to say a thing tonight but suffice it to say, you're leaving things unsaid

We sing ourselves to sleep/Watching the day lie down instead

Jacob felt tingly.

He always did after a hunt, and most nights he'd be after a good run, like Seth, Colin and Brady, but right now, all he wanted to do was to get home.

To Bella.

The scent of damp earth and green erupted in the air as he pawed the ground, and in a small part of his mind, his pack whispered in and out. Sam was making his way to Emily's, while Jared was itching to get to Kim. Jacob's muzzle pulled back in a smile when he realized that Embry was actually thinking about their ledgers, Paul was thinking about food and Quil was still spitting and gagging over the taste of vampire.

_God, they don't taste any better,_ he griped in their minds.

They heard Colin sigh in the far distance, _they gave up way too easily, there's no challenge anymore. No excitement._

A spatter of laughter rippled in their minds, _did you see the look on the blond one's face? It was like we were his nightmare come to life._ Paul chortled and supplied them with the image of said blond vampire's face.

Jacob let them laugh and discuss the hunt, let them ride the high, but he was busy with his own thoughts.

Somewhere between tearing one vampire after another, it dawned on him that for the last couple of years, Bella lived a _normal_ life.

No vampires, no werewolves, nor any other kind of mythical creature, only some critters she found in some deep, dark corner of her café.

She led a normal life, an ordinary life, where her problems started and ended with her café and fending off her mother's worries, but now here she was again, playing in the dark and rushing off somewhere, because it wasn't safe.

He felt a twinge of guilt over that.

Tonight he was a bit more vicious than usual, because he had something really important that he wanted to protect. Most nights he just wanted to kill as many vampires as he could find, but tonight, realizing that Bella was out in the open, fear threaded with the thrill of the hunt and made his claws faster, his canines sharper.

No vampire was going to get Bella, not while he was around. He guessed the best thing to do was for him to leave Bella to her normal life and not drag her back into his action-packed one, but he couldn't be sure that he could ever be so…magnanimous.

He had the right to be a little selfish, hadn't he? And it wasn't like Bella didn't want to be in his life, right?

He smiled as he remembered how she had look tonight, weak and breathless from laughter, her cheeks pink with excitement and the cold. Looking at her, laughing herself silly as she lied there in the grass, unconcerned, unafraid, he couldn't help but think how she suited him, how she suited his life. It reminded him of her surprisingly rebellious attitude that reared its stubborn head every once in a while.

Bella broke easily, sure - he rolled his eyes remembering their numerous visits to the ER - but that never stopped her from doing anything she wanted, like hang around vampires and werewolves and ride motorcycles.

Bella Swan of the somber eyes, the too serious expression and tentative smiles.

God, how he loved her.

He stopped to phase and dress. Jared, Quil and Embry followed.

"Race you to your house." Quil slapped Jacob's shoulders and hooted. "Last one to the house is a rotten werewolf."

Embry sniggered. "A rotten werewolf? Geez." But he took off after Quil like a bullet. Jacob sighed. "How old are you guys again?"

Embry responded by shouldering Quil out of the way, but both protested when Jared sailed smoothly between them.

"Do you really want to get between me and Kim?" Jared eyed both Embry and Quil, who immediately stood aside making mocking fearful noises.

"Imprinted wolves are the worst." Embry complained.

Quil rolled his eyes at him. "Wait your turn and you'll see."

"Move away, you two. Alpha passing through." Jacob shoved them out of his way.

"I cannot believe you played the Alpha card on us, dude." Quil bitched, but slowed his run. "I gotta go, anyway."

"Gonna check on Claire?"

Quil shrugged his broad shoulders and pointed two thumbs at his chest. "Imprinted." He said, shortly before breaking off to the right with a short wave.

Jacob ran in silence before sliding a look at Embry. "I don't want to talk about it."

Embry eyed him. "Quil's right, you know. There's a chance that we'll all imprint."

Jacob remained silent, but scowled at his friend.

"I'm just saying."

The mention of imprinting only made him more anxious to get home, and when the woods opened up and showed him the soft, warm glow of his house, his heart twisted.

The minute he saw Rachel and Leah's faces, he knew something was wrong. When he saw the guilty expression on Kim's, he was _certain _of it, but before he could say anything, the door opened and his heart jumped up to his throat.

Something clawed inside himself when Bella shuffled out to the back porch and joined the other girls as if she had done it a million times before.

Her eyes searched the darkness, and he knew she was searching for him. He struggled against the painful throb in his chest when Bella took two steps forward and focused her eyes on him.

Dawn streaked the sky, but it was still dark to her human eyes, whereas he could see her as clear as day, and his heart stuttered as it struck him forcefully that Bella was _right in front_ _of him. _

She was on his back porch, waiting for _him_.

Later he would remember that her eyes were red, that she was holding herself funny as if something hurt inside, but right then and there, he was overwhelmed by the look of her, by how her lips curved as she smiled at him. He was staggered that when he reached her, she looked him straight in the eyes and whispered, 'Welcome home.'

His tongue stuck in his throat and his knees felt weak with the jumbled emotions that warred inside him.

Bella was really _here_, she was home, she was safe, and after all this time, she still loved him.

He knew his reaction was stupid and irrational, since he knew all of this already, but…it was as if his brain was only _now_ able to process it.

Speechless, Jacob could only respond with touching the tips of his fingers against the soft curve of her cheek, but something in the way she turned her face into his palm, in the way she leaned perceivably closer, made him gather her close and pull her into his arms. The angles and dips of their bodies locked against each other like two pieces of puzzle. Her cheek on his chest, his arms around her shoulders, palms pressed on the space between her shoulder blades.

And she clung to him, her arms wrapping around his waist in a somewhat desperate, almost fierce motion, her palms fluttering on his naked back, like fragile wings.

He _could_ tell himself it had something to do with what he was thinking before - that she was no longer used to the danger and that she was only worried for him - but he spotted the looks between Rachel, Leah and Kim.

He brushed a hand along Bella's hair and spoke softly into her ear. "Let me clean up and change and I'll take you home."

She nodded against his chest and with what looked like great effort, pulled herself away.

Pushing against the sudden panic that skittered up and down his spine at the way she cradled her arms around herself, he sent a look to the three other girls and walked inside.

He'd talk to them later.

They had to wait for Seth to arrive with his car, and Jake couldn't help but notice the distance she took from the girls, the way she stuck to his side, the little flicks of glances that she sent him.

The ride back to Charlie's house was silent, though filled with unanswered questions. He wanted very much to launch into interrogation mode, but the thoughtful look on her face, the way her fingers played with her bracelet, told him that she was still mulling things over inside her head. He knew that she'd tell him sooner or later.

She always did. Eventually.

Besides, he could guess what it was that the girls told her, and it was his own fault, really. They'd been pressuring him to talk to Bella, to tell her, but really, how could he?

It'd be like he was begging for sympathy, emotionally blackmailing her to be with him, and that was just something he wouldn't do. At least, not right now, he amended, when he remembered a particular scene in their past, of adrenalin pumping under his skin and of challenging words and hard open-mouth kisses.

He wasn't that desperate. _Yet_.

He looked at her when Bella reached out for his hand and gripped it tightly, not letting go.

In the darkness of the car, he could see the uncertainty blooming inside her brown eyes when he parked in the driveway behind Charlie's truck.

And she still hadn't let go of his hand.

"Bella, honey?"

She blinked at him and finally let go of his hand. One finger at a time. "Right. Well, I'll see you tomorrow?"

Their eyes met, and hers focused on his intensely before sliding away. He solved that problem by putting his fingers on her chin and pulling at it gently until she looked his way. "Do you want to see me tomorrow?"

"Of course."

He smiled at the slightly surprised matter-of-fact tone in her voice and leaned over to give her a kiss that stretched to two then three. His heart inflated inside his chest when she sighed into his mouth and held his face between her palms. "I've missed you, Jake." She murmured against his lips. "I've missed you so much."

Then his heart simply exploded when her hands slid over his shoulders and around him, tucking her face against his neck and held him tighter, closer.

Worry niggled at the back of his mind, but he kissed her temple, rubbed her back.

"Jake." Her breath was warm on his neck. "Will you stay?"

Jacob knew there was more to the question than the simple word-for-word meaning, but he answered in kind. "Of course."

So Jacob followed Bella inside and up to her bedroom. He took off his long-sleeved jersey—leaving him in a pristine white T-shirt and jeans—toed off his shoes and bundled his socks into them and got into bed. When Bella got out of the bathroom—her face washed, her teeth brushed, and changed into jammies—she slipped in beside him and under the covers.

Without hesitation, she shuffled closer to him and curved herself against his side, her arms gripping tightly the soft material of his T-shirt. Jacob couldn't ignore the way she closed her eyes tightly and the little wrinkles forming on her forehead.

"Bells—"

She pressed her face against his chest, "Sleep."

He brushed her hair away from her face, his fingers soothing the wrinkles on her forehead. "All right. Go to sleep, honey. I'll see you in the morning."

Her arms tightened around him, her legs tangled with his and her breath evened out.

Jacob lay awake until the sun set the sky ablaze.

A/N: I know. I Know it's too short. I should be dragged naked to the streets and stoned.

I'm just kind of busy with...uh...life and my original story. If I don't write the images in my head down, I'll never get it right. So, be patient with me. Chapter 31 is in the cookbox though...

Oh, to those who want to read my original story, Here is the link:

Dammit, I couldn't work the link...it keeps cutting it of, well you can see it in my profile!


	31. Together

Chapter theme: A Fine Frenzy-Come On Come Out

Ray LaMontagne-Truly, Madly, Deeply.

Jacob untangled himself from Bella at the first sound from Charlie's room. It took longer than it should have, given his reluctance to leave her. He kept his eyes on her face as he put on his socks and shoes and decided that he should get a medal for leaving the warm bed of the girl he'd been in love with since he was a 16-year-old boy.

It was hero stuff. Epic. There should be songs about it.

He kept his ear on Charlie's room, smiling at the miserable groan and the sound of popping bone. And for a tempting minute, he wondered what Charlie would do if he found him in Bella's bed –

Run for his gun and shoot him

Listen to his explanation, _then_ shoot him

Use his sharply honed observation skills to note that both he and Bella were fully dressed…then shoot him simply on principle.

He figured he still had a couple of minutes before Charlie peeked in to check on his daughter as he did from time to time. He tugged his sweater on and deliberated between waking Bella up or not. Seeing her all warm and cuddly under the blankets, he opted for not.

On the road, he decided to take care of business – Leah, Kim and Rachel needed a stern talking to. He'd deal with Leah and Kim later, _after all, there's a pecking order around here._

When Jacob closed the door to his house and met his father's eyes, he experienced a slight guilty twinge the way children do when they were either up to no good, thinking about being up to no good or had already done something no good.

Billy eyed him over the rim of his coffee cup, weighing him, needling him with his substantial silence. Years ago, that look would've made him freeze in his tracks, but now he simply strode to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"You just came in." From the tone of Billy's voice, the sentence wasn't a question. Jacob knew Billy probably did the same thing Charlie did whenever his children were home – peeked in to make sure they were safe in their beds. Despite the fact Jacob had a successful business, was a werewolf and occasionally handled some tribal problem when Billy couldn't be bothered, his father still treated him like a child sometimes.

Jacob leaned back on the counter and answered with a casual, "Yeah."

Both of them sipped their coffee, sighed in appreciation at the rich, strong taste, then continued to eye each other.

"You were with Bella." Again, there was no question.

Jacob answered with the same word and same intonation, "Yeah."

"Charlie saw you?"

A smile twitched at Jacob's lips. "No."

Billy turned the TV on to the news. "He'll shoot you, you know."

Now Jacob did chuckle. "I know."

Billy turned up the volume, and Jacob figured that was all the parental guidance he would deliver…and all that Jacob would be willing to listen to. No one could accuse Billy of not knowing his children.

Jacob paused at the door to Rachel's room and imagined himself kicking it open with dramatic flair, but that would only piss Rachel off. Rachel _really_ didn't like to be woken up when she wasn't ready to wake up. Paul had once commented that the tribe didn't really need werewolves to protect them from vampires – they only need to carry Rachel from her bed, point her at a vampire, wake her up, then take a huge step back.

Several mile should do.

It wasn't until he got out of the bathroom after a quick shower that he realized something was wrong. He couldn't hear Rachel's heartbeat, or her breathing (snoring), and when he pushed open the door to his sister's room, he saw that it was empty.

_Oh, well played, sis._ Jacob stifled the irritation that cramped his brain. Rachel knew he would want to interrogate her, so she probably went to Leah's to avoid him.

_No, problem,_ he decided. He had better things to do anyway. Problems to solve, places to go, vampires to kill.

He padded barefoot to the kitchen and dug through the fridge. He knew why his senses didn't catch Rachel's absence as they should have. After the adrenalin-pumping hunt, his senses always went haywire if he didn't tire himself out enough.

When you can hear people's heartbeat from outside of their houses you learn to filter the sounds and to focus only on one or two. Either that or get a headache for every day of your life.

Not an option.

He frowned at his shaking hands, not in worry or anticipation, but more in annoyance. The hunt wasn't enough to get rid of the excess energy, and his blood was still hot from last night. He had to do something to get rid of it or he'd be amped up all day.

He glanced at the clock hanging on the living room wall and decided he'd work some of it off fixing up the school. If he were lucky, he'd see Kim there, since she'd been working as a teacher there for about a year.

***

Fate was screwing with him.

Five minutes there, he'd found out that Kim was home with the flu. Right.

He realized that the three girls were going to treat him to a game of runaround, and the only consolation that he had was that their attempt at avoiding him would really chafe on Leah and Rachel's egos.

No matter. He'd run them aground sooner or later. Right now, he should just concentrate on working his ass off.

It didn't work.

He was sweaty, sure, but he was still buzzed. It hiked up his irritation and he knew that this was no good.

"Oh, for God's sake." Paul, who'd been working beside him, turned off the table saw, wrenched off his goggles and speared him with a look. "Just go find her and get her into bed."

Jacob lifted his eyes to Paul and imagined introducing Paul's head to the business end of his hammer.

Paul probably realized what Jacob was thinking, but he still maintained his scowl. "You're hyped up, man. I can feel it from here. You're spouting off so many negative vibes you're making me antsy."

Jacob almost felt apologetic. He knew that Paul often felt insecure and nervous about his control. The fact that there were a lot of kids hanging around wasn't helping, but Paul's abrupt advice still rankled.

Sex wasn't the reason he was squirming in his jeans. Far from it.

He swung the hammer with more force than was necessary. When that was done, he punished himself with lugging dense lumber from one end of the school to the other.

He didn't even have to strain. He had more of a hard time of _acting_ like it strained him rather than doing the actual deed.

Sure, having Bella around, feeling her, smelling her and kissing her was boiling his hormones, and last night—with her gripping him tightly, her face nuzzling his neck and her breath on his skin—didn't help. And yeah, he hadn't gotten any since…uh, he couldn't remember, which was lowering enough, but having sex or not having it wasn't his problem.

He needed to know what she was thinking, dammit. He didn't like pushing her, but they needed to set several things straight.

"What are you going to do about the girls?"

Jacob threw an absent glance at Paul, who was almost hanging upside down at a window they were working on. "What?"

"The girls. Kim, Leah, Rachel."

This time, Jacob focused his eyes away from Paul and carried the sheet of glass to the window where he was.

"They were only trying to help."

Jacob leaned the glass against the wall, just in case he gripped too hard and cracked it or something. "You knew what they were up to?"

Jacob's tone was just a little too flat and hard, so Paul glanced down to see how far he'd fall if Jacob had a sudden urge to push him. Of course, he was wearing a harness, but in a case such as this, the harness would be less of a safety measure and more a convenient way to keep someone still so you can use said person as a punching bag. He really, really didn't want to be Jacob's punching bag.

"No, I didn't. Kim caved and told Jared, and Jared accidentally told me while we were out running."

"Huh."

"Yeah."

"So? What did they tell Bella?"

Jared swung to the window sill, clutched the window frame and released the harness. He landed nimbly on the floor. This was a conversation that he'd rather not have while he was dangling above the ground. "You know what they told her."

Jacob let loose a string of curses that made Paul wince. It wasn't the words, it was the tone of his voice – it simply crackled with Alpha power.

Paul shifted on his feet. "Look, I can't talk about your sister or Kim, but I know Leah. _You_ know Leah. She's territorial and stupidly loyal. On one hand, she hates Bella's guts for what she did to you, but she also doesn't want to see Bella deal with…" Paul trailed off, uncomfortable. "…you know, if you imprint. It drives her crazy. Leah might be a grade-A bitch," Paul shrugged. "but she's our bitch."

Jacob stared out the window, trying to deal with his displeasure. "What else?"

Paul's face twisted in a grimace. "They told her about the vampire. The one that gave you that scar."

Jacob pressed two fingers against his eyes. He had his suspicions, but it was another thing altogether to have it confirmed. He remembered Bella's intense brown eyes, remembered the desperate tightness of her fingers, her arms, the frantic touch of her lips on his.

Great, just what he needed – for Bella to think he was suicidal. She must be so layered with guilt right now, he could probably get whatever he wanted out of her.

Which was pretty much everything.

But he also knew if he followed the temptation to use her guilt, he'd hate himself forever.

He was so screwed.

It was ironic how loving her was so easy, and at the same time, so hard. Jacob took off his tool belt and tossed it at Paul, who caught it with ease.

"Where are you going?"

He didn't bother to turn. "To Bella's."

Jacob flipped his cell open and pressed the speed dial for Bella's number, his sharp ears caught the muttered 'thank God' from Paul. He took the stairs two at a time, absently smiling at the kids that waved shyly at him. When he was outside, Bella's voice came down the line. Even as he was tense all over, he still smiled at the sound of it.

"Bells, when was the last time you rode a bicycle?"

--

Her bemused smile when she opened the door grew into a grin when she saw him pulling a bicycle out of the trunk.

"A bicycle, Jake? Really?" Her narrow shoulders shook with laughter.

He stood there in an old, faded T-shirt with the sleeves torn off, cut offs and beat up sneakers. He arched a brow. "Well, if you think you can keep up with me without it…"

She scoffed. "I could drive a car and still not keep up with you."

"Well, it depends on the car. We're not as fast as when we go wolf."

This time, it was she who arched an eyebrow. "When you say 'not as fast', you mean…"

Jacob grinned and unashamedly used his eyes on her. "Come on. Be a pal and keep me company."

Warmth blossomed in his chest when her cheeks tinged with pink that had nothing to do with the weather.

He kept the grin on his face, tilted his head and was rewarded when she gave him a flustered look. "And look, it even has a pretty pink basket and a bell," He paused and his grin turned sly. " Bells."

She rolled her dancing eyes. "A basket _and_ a bell? You got me. Now I simply must have it."

--

Jacob kept his pace steady, enjoying the steady thud of his feet against the asphalt and the rush of cold air into his lungs. The smell of smoke and burnt leaves was heady in the autumn air as was the subtle scent of sea salt and damp earth.

The sky was a misty blue and sunshine was a filtered beam through grayish clouds. It rippled against the trees with its explosion of different shades of red, gold and brown. Dry leaves lay cracked and trodden on the streets and pavement, they crunched underneath his feet.

The day was gorgeous, but his eyes, as they had many times before, could only see her. Bella felt…at peace, he could see it in the relaxed set of her shoulders, the bright look in her eyes when she looked at him from over her shoulder, her mouth smiling and shouting taunts and encouragements at him.

She rode the bicycle with uncharacteristic skill, weaving in and out, looping, playfully circling him, and ringing her bell once or twice when she thought he was running too slowly. He couldn't help but smile when she stopped at a stop sign and looked both ways before crossing the road, her expression serious.

He grinned when she stopped right next to Charlie's cruiser on a red light and rang the bell to get her father's attention. Charlie had looked at Jacob, then at Bella, then down at the bike and laughed so hard, he almost missed the green light.

She was so cute like this, when she forgot all about what she _should_ do and would just _be_ instead. Her mood was so very different from last night that he almost doubted what Paul had told him.

They stopped at Charlie's house and Jacob found himself scrutinized by a pair of warm brown eyes.

"I can't believe it, you're not even sweating." She griped between breaths and wiped the sweat that pooled at the hollow of her throat. He followed the movement of those pink-tipped fingers and swallowed.

So, okay, Paul wasn't all wrong, he admitted. He wanted Bella every time he breathed, but he could ignore it when he needed to.

He rolled his shoulders and smirked at her annoyance. "Another round?"

She shook her head. "No way. I'm done. You go, I'll just be right here."

He had to touch her, just a little, so he slid the back of his knuckles at her temple to catch a drop of sweat, the subtle flush on her cheeks deepened. His voice was deep and low when he looked into her eyes. "Wait for me?"

Her eyelashes fluttered as she tried to look anywhere else, but failed to do so, as her eyes always returned to him. "Sure."

--

Bella rushed herself out of a shower and caught her reflection in the bathroom mirror and stopped. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes were bright and her lips seemed to curve into a permanent smile.

Last night she had looked pale and ghostly; now she looked…happy. She knew the reason for it, and her reflection only confirmed that what she was about to do was the right thing for her. Probably the wisest thing she had ever decided on.

She had doubts, but the warm feeling in her chest wasn't a lie.

It was time.

She dressed in her usual style; a long sleeved T and faded jeans and decided to wait for Jake by making sandwiches that she knew he would nag and bat his eyelashes for when he came back. When she was done, she peeked through the window, but she didn't see him yet. Suddenly inspired, she got out a picnic cloth, ran upstairs to get a book, then down again to get a bottle of water, a pitcher of iced tea and lugged everything to the back yard.

She had missed having a yard.

Lying on the checkered cloth, she was well into her book and half a glass of iced tea when Jacob appeared. When she caught sight of him, Bella almost spilled her tea all over himself. He was in his usual get-up too—cut offs and nothing else— and was all sweaty and flushed.

She got a little dizzy just looking at him, and without thinking, she blurted out, "Where's the rest of your clothes?"

"At home." Jacob grinned, before throwing his considerable bulk by her side. Suddenly, the picnic cloth that was almost as wide as her bed seemed to shrink before her very eyes. Noticing that he was actually breathing hard, Bella could only imagine how fast he ran from here to La Push and back again in, _what? Thirty minutes? Forty?_

She tried to calculate the time, but got distracted by the smell of sweat and man and Jacob. Not to mention that he was mostly naked, with his muscles glistening in the sun.

A girl could only try to ignore so much.

Her brain simply raised a white flag and surrendered when Jacob rolled onto his stomach, their shoulders bumping as he smiled at her and out of nowhere—at least that was how it seemed to her—held out a handful of dandelions. "For you."

She was stuck on the soft look in his dark eyes, but she managed to drag her eyes to the flowers and moved her hand to take them, her throat squeezing with…gratefulness? Appreciation?

She wasn't clear about all the emotions that swept through her heart at the sight of the flowers in his hand except for one.

Love.

She loved him. She had always loved him.

But now that love had evened out, matured and layered, and although she was certain it should be impossible, it had grown in depth and intensity.

When Bella lifted her gaze from the dandelions to meet those eyes that had always watched her with care and affection, something inside her shifted and locked into place.

She leaned over and touched her lips to his in a kiss that had all the facets of her love for him; the storms of passion, the subtle dip and sway of affection, and the numerous momentous seconds where loving him was as important as breathing.

She leaned back from him and met his eyes with her usual solemn stare and, with a voice that had no place for uncertainties, gave him the words anyway.

"I love you, Jacob Black. I always have, and I always will."

The emotion that surfaced in his eyes made her heart _ache,_ but the smile that followed after, the smile that had always won her over time and time again, drowned her heart with a kind of pain that sweetened with the seconds that ticked by.

Then he made her laugh with his sweetly excited, "Yeah? Does that mean you're gonna share those sandwiches?"

They ate the sandwiches, drank iced tea, then lay back to bask in their togetherness while they blew on dandelions and watched the seeds take flight across the blue of sky and the grey of clouds.

-------

a/n: Bet you guys didn't expect that, huh? Don't worry, 'the talk' will be on next chapter....finally...applause for Gabrielle who needles me about updating (good job, Gabs) and Ingrid who beta reads for me!!!


	32. Melee

32Melee

The Pack was a brave bunch.

They were protectors, werewolves and family.

They protect the tribe and the inhabitants of Forks without question and without hesitation. They've gone to war with newborn vampires without even batting an eyelash.

Braving storms? No problem.

Rescue mission? Point the way.

Vampires? Let me at 'em.

There was _nothing_ that they couldn't handle…

…but when Bella reached over the kitchen counter and smacked Emily's hand, making her dropped the wooden spoon that she was holding, then in a very sharp, unBella-like tone _ordered_ Emily to sit, the werewolves froze.

Their eyes and mouths wide open, the brave and fearless werewolves inched backwards, away from Emily's kitchen, an area of the house where—they had learned under the threat of pain and death—Emily reigned supreme. No one messed with Emily in her kitchen, not unless they want to die out of hunger and humiliation, especially since she'd gotten pregnant.

Hormones and all that.

They watched in suspense as Emily looked at Bella, half expecting she would shoot death rays from her eyes and pulverize Bella on the spot, but no, to the Pack's amazement, Emily merely nodded and sat, her body language as meek as they had ever seen.

"Amazing." Paul said from the corners of his mouth to the others.

"I need to learn how to do that." Sam breathed back and made Jared snicker. Careful not to make any sudden moves—just in case Emily had changed her thoughts on 'no violence in the house' rule—Sam called out from the corner they've all been banished to. "Emily, you OK?"

Emily nodded sharply but it was Bella who speared him with a look. Jacob, who had spent several afternoons with Bella's rare but impressive bout of crazy temper, swallowed a grin. Things were about to get interesting.

"Of course, she's not all right. She's not impaired but she's _not_ all right." Jacob watched as Bella spread a contemptuous gaze at the Pack, her feet spread and her hand wielding the spatula like a weapon.

She looked fierce, strong and due to the ruffles of pink apron tied around her waist, deliciously cute.

Nonetheless, when she snapped her fingers, everybody moved into action. "Seth, rub her feet. Sam, rub her back. Paul, get her something to drink, juice preferably. Emily, drink your vitamins and no making icky faces."

Emily made the icky faces but she drank her vitamins, a feat that the whole Pack had been struggling to talk her into doing for three days without success.

Bella marched across the kitchen, barking out orders for mops and cleaning rags and had Colin and Brady cleaning the living room and hanging out the laundry while she stirred the pot that was filling up the house with fragrant smells of something spicy and sweet.

Jared leaned into Jacob and whispered. "We should keep her, at least until Emily has the baby."

"Don't think I didn't hear that." Bella yelled as she dived into the fridge, "Jared, mow the lawn."

"_Jawol_!" Jared snapped off a salute and smirked when Bella rolled her eyes.

"Don't just stand there, Jake. Take out the big bowl that Emily uses for spaghetti."

Several snickers rang out when Jacob mockingly scrabbled to his feet. "Yes, honey. Right away, honey." She almost looked embarrassed when she snared him with an aggravated look.

"What _is_ that, Bella? It smells delicious but it doesn't look like much." Emily asked from where she was waited hand and foot by Sam, Paul and Seth. She was ready to sulk and throw a tantrum when they crowded her but decided to enjoy it instead. She curled her toes when Seth pressed two fingers on the arch of her feet and almost purred when Sam knuckled a knot on her lower back, the cool lemonade slid through her parched throat and tasted like ambrosia. She could get the hang of this.

"Oh, one of my roommates back in Phoenix was Indonesian and her part of Indonesia has this traditional cuisine named Rendang, it's mostly beef and mini potatoes boiled with spices and coconut milk. It takes a long time because you have to wait for the coconut milk to thicken but it's worth it. It tastes sweet and spicy and you eat it with rice." Bella smiled over her shoulder. "Whenever she made it, the whole apartment would know it by the scent alone and the lot of them would suddenly have some sort of business with us."

Emily grinned. "It certainly has _my_ mouth watering."

Bella smiled back, happy to be cooking for people that she knew. She turned back to her cooking but caught Jacob and Sam exchanged looks of relief which made her suspicions true.

When she saw Emily running the kitchen, she had looked exhausted. She greeted her and Jacob amiably enough but Sam kept looking at her with worried glances and the overall mood of the pack was somber. They were worried about her but Emily seemed to be stubbornly ignoring it.

The scene reminded her of how _she_ used to be.

"You didn't stay with your parents at Phoenix?"

Bella shrugged. "Not really. The apartment wasn't much and I had to share it with my roommates but it was mine, you know?"

Emily nodded, understanding the sentiment. "You still keep in contact with your roommates?"

Bella laughed. "Distance doesn't seem to matter for Dhee and Jules, they're loud and obnoxious and…_loud_. Either from a phone call or an email, I could basically hear them shouting from wherever they were."

Jacob smiled. "Bet you had fun times."

Bella shook her head as she mutilated carrots but there was a soft smile on her face. "_Crazy_ times. I miss them."

"Yeah." Emily sighed. "Girl friends are special."

Only Bella's knife quick _taptaptap_ filled the kitchen but Emily knew all of them heard what she hadn't actually said, '_Leah _was special'. Emily missed Leah, they had been cousins/sisters after all, they had promised each other to be BFF's, to be each other's maid of honor, to be with each other when one of them gave birth. They were to live next to each other, and were to raise their kids together and grow old together.

Emily rubbed her bulging stomach, she needed Leah, especially now. She was afraid, terrified and she was just so damn tired all the time. She felt fat and stiff and fat and achy and fat…well, you get the point. She needed her sister, her best friend back but she knew asking that of Leah was just too much.

She tried, Emily gave her that, but the moment her belly had started to show, Leah had shied away. Rachel and Kim helped, but…they weren't Leah.

She knew she'd been one hell of a shrew to the Pack and to Sam. She just couldn't help feeling resentful of their (and Sam's) part in her and Leah's separation. And to add insult to injury, the Pack still had Leah in their lives. It was as if _she_ was the only one getting punished for her sins.

She chased all the boys away one too many times but they had always came back, but she didn't _want_ help, which of course only made her even more exhausted and only made her crankier than ever.

It was a devious, malicious circle of evil.

Emily watched Bella and smiled when she jabbed a finger at a table as a response for Jacob's question on what he should do with the salad. Jacob followed the voiceless order then walked back to her side, his eyes following her every gesture. She had broken Sam out of doing that, it made her nervous but Bella seemed fine with it.

She sipped lemonade and watched Jacob's face, his feelings for Bella was as clear as the living room window that Bella had obsessively cleaned earlier on. The light in his eyes when Bella had laughed at something he said, warmed her heart. It was proof that Jacob's feeling for the girl hadn't changed, not that there was any doubt about it. It was good seeing Jacob happy…and Bella, too. Emily knew how it was to be torn between two loves and having to make a choice. Although she was surprised to hear about Bella's return, she hadn't groaned aloud or grimaced like everyone else. She had smiled and hoped.

And watching Bella spooned black goop—it really did look like nothing she had ever seen before—into Jacob's mouth, that simple, everyday gesture and the look on Jacob's face when she giggled and wiped a thumb over the smear on his chin made her glad that she had voted to welcome the girl rather than to oppose her.

Seeing them so at ease and comfortable with each other somehow made her feel optimistic and not so scared. If Bella and Jacob had managed to find and forgive each other after everything they had gone through, surely she could do this. She could be a mother and a wonderful wife at the same time. Suddenly, the world around the kitchen seemed a little brighter, friendlier.

She could almost ignore the way Colin and Brady splatter each other with dirty water as they mopped the floors. She laughed as they fell silent and appropriated solemn expressions when Bella turned and aimed stern brown eyes at them. Her heart simply turned to mush as she watched Jacob and Bella worked silently but efficiently in the kitchen. When Bella held out a hand and he was there with a plate. She spilled something and he was there with a cleaning rag. If Emily didn't know any better, she'd think they were able to read each other's minds. It was like a dance, she thought, that only they knew the steps to.

There was a loud crash, a loud curse and several thumping sounds from outside the house before the screen door snapped open and Quil entered with his usual flair. "Don't worry. I'm here. Where's the party?"

Everyone merely stared at him silently until Bella approached him. "Here." She held out the garden shears in a stabbing motion that had Quil stepping back cautiously. "Cut some of Emily's beautiful Cosmos and bring it to the table. And here." She slapped two yellow rubber gloves on his chest. "Since you're late, you can wash the dishes afterwards."

Colin, Brady and Seth were still sniggering over Quil's expression, even when their mouths were stuffed with food. Bella's Rendang was a hit but she pointed out that it was really complicated to make and was filled to the brim with cholesterol. The werewolves pointed out that they were superwolves and Bella's cautions fell on deaf ears.

"Bella, these potatoes still have skins on them." Colin eyed his plate.

Bella smiled. "It doesn't matter, Colin, it's OK to eat them."

Paul snorted. "For someone who occasionally eats raw meat, you're awfully picky, Colin."

Colin merely stuff more rice in his mouth and made faces at Paul.

Jacob gestured to Bella. "Stop hovering and sit down."

"I will." She eyed the table from where she was washing her hands. "Do you think we should save some for your sister, Kim and Leah?"

Jacob scowled. "Let them get their own food."

Bella paused, her eyes flickering back to Jacob before walking back to the table. "Here, Emily." She stopped by Emily's seat and tucked a warm bottle under Emily's ankles that were propped on a stool.

Emily closed her eyes and sighed gustily. "That feels great. Thanks. How did you know?"

Bella sat beside Jacob on the sofa and took her plate from Jacob while the other wolves sat on the floor in front of the TV. "One of my roommates, Jules, got pregnant but her boy friend didn't stand by her."

Jacob and Sam scowled, muttered a low 'Asshole' before they continued eating.

Emily and Bella shared amused fond looks. "Jules decided to have the baby and we helped her out." Bella smiled. "So, I know a thing or two about pregnancy."

Emily tucked a hand over her stomach. "I helped around before and I baby-sat my nephews and nieces but…"

"It's different."

Emily sighed. "Yeah."

Bella caught the frown on Sam's face but turned her smile on Emily. "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

Emily laughed softly. "No, we decided to make it a surprise."

Bella nodded then called out to Quil whom lifted an eyebrow. "What are the odds?"

Embry who came seconds after Quil and was also recruited to washing dishes smirked. "10-20. Boy."

"You bet on my baby?" Emily tried to turn from her chair and almost toppled over if not for Sam holding her. She blinked at Quil and Embry who blinked back then rolled her eyes. "Of course you did. Why should I be surprise?"

Quil grinned and waggled his eyebrows. "Want in, Bella?"

Jacob laughed when Bella stared at Emily's belly like she could see right into it. "Are you sure you want me in? I'm quite good as this you know."

"Betting?" Embry asked.

"Guessing the baby's sex."

Quil snorted. "No one's good at that."

"Mom is." Seth said. "When she had us she knew exactly what we were."

"What?" Paul asked. "She knew you were mutant legendary wolves?"

Seth gave a wicked grin. "Oh, no. That was a bit of a surprise."

Colin and Brady sniggered.

Emily ignored them and aimed an interested look at Bella. "Really?"

"Yeah. Nine out of ten I usually guessed right."

Embry turned his usually somber eyes at her. "You're serious."

Bella swallowed her mouthful and nodded.

Jacob drank his lemonade and grinned. "This I have to see."

She turned to him. "You don't believe me?"

"No one could be that accurate."

Her eyes narrowed at him before she turned back to Emily. "You're not wearing any make up are you?"

Emily looked amused but shook her head.

"Perfume? Or simply scents?"

Emily wrinkled her nose. "No, lately if I smell perfume all I want to do is throw up."

"Do you have any particular color that you don't like to see since you've gotten pregnant?"

"Purple." She answered instantly and seemed surprise by her own answer.

Quil frowned. "What has that got to do with anything?"

Bella ignored him. "What about tastes? Anything you crave?"

"I like spicy things all of a sudden."

"She seems to know what she's doing." Embry mused as he shoveled meat and potatoes into mouth, his dark eyes on Bella's face.

Bella asked a few more questions that seemed benign to the others and nodded. "It's a girl."

The wolves made disbelieving noises.

"Come on."

"You're joking."

"Care to put your money on that?"

Bella shrugged. "Sure. Twenty on a girl."

Quil chortled and reached for the money she was waving in her hands. "Easy money."

Bella raised an eyebrow when she noticed Jacob was watching her. "What?"

"You sure about this?"

"Absolutely."

Jacob tilted his head before reaching back for his wallet. "Fifty on a girl."

The wolves made impressed noises and Emily who'd been sour and cranky for the last month, laughed until she needed to make a quick trip to the bathroom.

---

Bella returned from her own trip to the bathroom to find Emily missing from her chair while the wolves were sprawled sleepily in front of the TV. "Where's Emily?"

Seth blinked at her. "She's getting the laundry."

She scowled. "And you let her?"

Paul waved a dismissive hand. "Don't you know already, Bella?" Since the pregnancy, we let her do whatever she wants. It's safer for us that way."

Bella hitched her fists to her hips and scowled even deeper at Jacob who merely smiled sweetly at her.

"We were hoping you would help her out, she doesn't seem to mind your company."

Brown eyes narrowed, Bella arched a brow. He let his lips curved even deeper. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

Emily was almost done with the first laundry line that was mainly T shirts and jeans, the cool wind flapping the sheets on the third line every time they whisked by, the gentle snapping motion went oddly in tune with the not-too-far sound of the ocean.

The sun was slowly dying at the horizon, casting shades of red and orange and pink across the sky as darkness started to blanket the world.

The call of nocturnal animals rose up and down from the scatter of trees that surrounded Sam and Emily's house.

Bella set down the laundry basket and without saying a word started on pulling at the sheets and folding them in quick, efficient movements. They kept working in silence until, they reached the second line together.

"I was surprise to see you here."

Bella blinked and folded a faded pillow casing. "What do you mean?"

Emily's dark eyes slanted towards her. "Kim came to me this morning, she was…worried."

Bella flicked her eyes toward the house and Emily chuckled. "Don't worry, they won't hear us." She pointed at the lines of laundry, flowing in the wind. "We're downwind."

Bella nodded slowly, saving that particular tidbit in her memory. "Why was she worried?"

"She was worried that she drove you away."

Bella bit her lip at the little clutch she felt in her stomach. "Wasn't that what…"

"No, God, no, Bella. That wasn't her intention at all." Emily sighed. "She merely wanted to warn you, not warn you _off_."

Bella realized she was wrinkling the shirt she was holding and fought to ease her grip. "So, it's true then, what she said about imprinting?"

"Yes, it's true." Emily touched her stomach. "To the wolves it's like finding a missing piece of their soul that they didn't know was lost in the first place and when they find us, we complete them."

Bella's heart shuddered. She knew what that was like and she knew she couldn't beat that. She didn't really want to hear this, she had already heart enough but her eyes latched on to Emily's ravaged face and couldn't look away.

Emily shrugged. "I have always found imprinting a little eerie in its absolutes."

"You do?"

Emily nodded. "How would you feel if somebody came to you and explained that he supposedly fell in love with you because of some tribal legendary hooey?"

"I never thought of it that way."

"Well, believe me, _I_ have." She dropped a folded shirt onto her stacks of laundry. "Jacob has."

"I know that he's against—"

Emily scoffed. "He hates it. And fears it, I guess."

"Fears it?"

"At first, he hates it because it takes away his choices. Jake has always been resistant to the old ways, resentful of how the council has so many says in our lives."

Bella remembered him griping about how the council went into a frenzy when Rebecca turned down a partial scholarship and ran off to get married.

"Then of course, he turned into a giant wolf because of some tribal magic, then to make all things worse, he was forbidden to tell or see _you_ of all people. Imprinting was just the last straw. He didn't want to fall in love with some girl just because his wolf felt frisky. He was already in love. With you."

Bella dropped her eyes to the shirt she'd been gripping. "I don't know why, all I brought to him was trouble, trouble and more trouble." And pain. Don't forget pain.

"Bella, I'm happy with Sam."

Bella blinked, confused with the sudden change of topic. "Okay."

"But when I look at you and Jacob, I… wonder." _Wonder how my life would be if I simply fell in love the normal way. Wonder if Sam would have been as loyal, as loving, and as protective if he had fallen in love with me like everyone else in the world. _

_Like Jacob is to you._

Bella kept her eyes on Emily's and let their unvoiced conversation passed by without them acknowledging it. "This is how it'll be, isn't it?"

Emily tilted her head and moved on along the laundry line.

"If I decided to be with Jacob, if I stay. You're all going to feel it's your right to poke your nose in my business."

Emily sniggered, Bella didn't know she could. "There is no 'my' business in the pack. As are secrets, sooner or later, everyone will know." She arched a brow. "And I think that you've already made your decision by being here."

Bella bit her bottom lip and toss her heavy braid to her back, she really had to get it cut. "He stayed the rest of the night yesterday."

"I'm thinking he stayed with you lots of nights before."

Bella blushed. "I didn't meant stay as in 'stay', we just—" She groused when Emily sent her an amused look then dropped her eyes to her stomach. "I think I have an idea."

Bella groaned. "We didn't, we just sleep together sometimes."

"_Oh_?"

Bella gritted her teeth and turned wary eyes to the house "We didn't have sex."

Emily snickered. "So, you had a sleepover."

"_Yes_."

"I figured he had lots of sleepovers at your place before last night." She continued.

Bella sighed. "That's the thing. This morning I realized something."

"What?"

"He was always gone before I woke up. It's usually not a problem with me. Usually when I woke up and found him gone, it didn't…" Bella frowned and remembered the one night where she felt _destroyed_ when she'd found him gone but that was in another life and it had happened to another girl. "But, this morning, it…hurt." She tried to shrug the little pin pricks that bit her heart. "I knew he didn't mean anything by it, and he was actually doing me a favor because Charlie would go ballistic but, when I woke up and…" Bella paused. "…reached for him—I _expected_ him to be there as if…"

"It has always been that way." Emily continued softly.

"That night, I just realized how I could have lost him and I was really upset. I'd fallen asleep to his heartbeat and I think I had expected to wake up to it, too. And when I didn't, it _hurt_." Bella raised her eyes to Emily's. "It brought things to perspective."

Emily smiled. "Perspective's a good thing to have."

They continued to work in silence and when all the laundry was folded, Emily turned to her. "Just remember, Bella, Jacob loves you and that makes you pack but you have to earn you place in the pack."

Bella looked at Emily's scarred face and nodded. "As long as I don't have to fight someone to the death, I'm good with that."

Emily chuckled. "Wolves don't kill their own pack members, Bella. We only isolate them and leave them to die out of hunger."

"Unless I'm stuck in some far corner of the world where they have no pasta, water or fire, dying out of hunger will never be my fate."

Emily laughed, took her hand and squeezed and together they walked home.


	33. Full Circle

Chapter theme: Death Cab for Cutie-Passenger Seat

Vanessa Carlton-Home

The moon was a pale smudge on the night sky and scattered all around her were stars to keep her company. The song of the ocean swept over the night air like a giant steady heartbeat.

Bella trailed her eyes over the blurry images outside the passenger window and felt…

"Jake."

"Hmm?"

"I'd like to go to the beach."

A moment passed and Bella realized that he hadn't answered her, so she tore her eyes from the window and looked at him. Jacob kept his eyes on the road with one hand on the steering wheel and the other folded over his open window. He should've looked relax, but her eyes noted the rigidity of his shoulders, the tightness around his eyes and the tight grip he had on the steering wheel.

"Jake?"

His eyes flickered, but still he didn't look at her. "The beach it is."

Bella wanted to ask what was wrong, but her mind was busy with what she had gleaned from the pack in these last two days.

When they parked, they walked side by side along the sand to their usual spot, which miraculously still looked the same, complete with birch tree. She couldn't count how many times she had dreamt about being here with him, just sitting and talking and watching the sun set and rise.

Bella tried to focus her buzzing mind, so she didn't realize that he hadn't touched her at all. She sat on her side of the tree and waited for him to do the same, but he merely stood and loomed beside her, staring at her with those dark, dark eyes. She tilted her head in question.

He didn't answer her implied question, instead he said, "You're going to be cold. I'll build a fire."

Before she could say anything, he was already gone, and she was left alone in the dark.

He didn't take long, but his absence was enough to make her question what she was about to do. She second-guessed, third-guessed and even fourth-guessed, but some things just weren't made to be guessed at. She kept her eyes on Jacob as he built the fire with quick, efficient movements. The first lick of fire made shadows dance across his silhouette as if it was anxious to please him.

She knew the feeling.

If Bella hadn't known there was something wrong with him, she did now, because rather than take his usual seat beside her, he sat _across_ the fire from her. Suddenly, despite the fire, she felt cold.

She tried to read his mood, his eyes, but all she could see was his blank Alpha face and the reflection of fire in the depth of his eyes.

"Don't do that."

The sharpness in his voice jerked her away from her gloomy thoughts. He still wasn't looking at her. "Do what?"

Jacob flicked his eyes at her stomach and when she looked down she realized that she had folded her arms around herself, a tell-tale gesture from long ago. She pulled her hands away and gripped them on her lap.

She heard him make a sound at the back of his throat. "Don't torture yourself over it. It's not your fault if you can't—" His voice trembled, then faded.

Bella frowned. "What do you—" Then she saw it. When Jacob's eyes lifted and met hers, she saw the ocean of misery and the storm of pain.

"Bella, if you want to break my heart, just make it quick." Jacob's mouth pressed together and his eyes darted around, looking at everything but her. "I knew these past two days were too good to be true." A small bruised smile curved his lips. "You even said that you love me and kissed without my prompting."

Bella gaped at him, her eyes wide. "You think I want to—to break up with you?"

She remembered a time where she asked a variation of that question and _my_, she thought, _how strangely things can go full circle._

His eyes flicked back to hers. "Aren't you?"

She shook her head, quickly, frantically, eager to reassure him. Hated that he even thought of it."No. _No_. Of course not. I only—I think that we need some—" She tried to get her mouth around the words, but a second later, her mouth was too busy kissing him.

He knelt on the sand in front of her, his torso wedged between her knees and his hands trapped her head so he could crush her mouth with his. Bella _should _protest, she wanted—needed—to talk, needed to set things clear once and for all, but all she could think of was _mmmm_.

His breath washed over her, fresh, and it was sweet with toothpaste and the orange they had shared in the car. The way he touched his mouth to hers was just _sinful_. She was aware of someone making soft, begging noises and realized that it was probably her, but really, did she care?

For one thing, Jacob needed to know how she felt about him, and if that made her an insatiable hussy, so be it. She slid down to his lap and thrust her hands inside the collar of his T-shirt so she could touch his naked shoulders, and when she pressed her nails against the muscles that wrapped around his shoulders, he retaliated with a sharp bite on her bottom lip.

She loved him and he loved her, probably more than anybody should ever love someone…and she wanted that love, wanted _him_, wanted the goodness that he represented in her life, wanted him because he was…he was Jacob, and that name had meant all kinds of things inside her heart and mind.

The low groan that vibrated along his chest and up his throat made her stomach twist. In a good way. She should be embarrassed that when he pulled away, he had to forcefully detach her arms—not to mention her thighs—from his body. He set her firmly on the tree, a rueful smile curving on his lips even as he pressed one, two kisses on her pouty lips.

Bella coughed and licked her lips, which only made him feel obliged to press another kiss on her lips, and the gesture made her smile. Her skin was still humming and she could swear her eyes would be glowing right now, but she rolled her shoulders, trying to settle her mind and body. She coughed again when her voice broke, "What was that for?"

Jacob chuckled. "For not breaking up with me."

Bella frowned, still unclear on why he would think that way, but he shook his head.

"And I just had to get it out the way. I've been itching to do that for hours."

A belated flush flooded Bella's face. "Oh."

They met each other's eyes and Bella felt her skin fairly sizzle, the hand on her face slid into her hair and settled on the nape of her neck, his fingers brushing gently on smooth, sensitive skin. "Bells?"

Her lips barely moved. "Yes?"

"You still want to talk?" He rasped, his eyes lowering to her mouth.

_No._ Bella swallowed. Hard. "Yes."

The fingers on her nape fluttered to her collarbone. "Is it important?"

She folded her itching hands on her lap and squeezed them to bring her mind back in order. "Yes."

Jacob watched her lips form the word and sighed. _Might as well_, he thought. Now that he knew she wasn't breaking up with him, he could let her have her say. "Then I'll just get back to my seat."

He hid a smile at the disappointed look on her face. She looked so luscious with her face flushed, her mouth wet and swollen, and her small hands folded on her lap. If he sat beside her, he couldn't trust himself not to employ the numerous distraction techniques that went with having a secret life in a close-knit reservation to steer her away from whatever it was she wanted to talk about.

So he sat across from her and behaved. Or at least tried to.

"Your scar—" She started, and Jacob's mood darkened. Damn nosy girls.

"It's not your fault, Bells. It's mine. Next topic."

She frowned at him, but followed his lead. "I'm sorry I didn't tell—"

"Yes, it was wrong not to tell me that you were still alive, and yes, you had your reasons. I thought we were over that. Next topic."

"What if you imprint?"

He expected the question, but it still felt like a blow to the stomach. He wanted to shrug it off and deny that it would ever happen to him, but…

"Maybe I will imprint. Maybe I won't. But what does it matter, when you're the one I choose to love?"

"But Emily and Sam, Kim and Jared—"

"I'm not them."

"I know, you're Alpha, but doesn't that mean that you'll be more susceptible?"

"Maybe. That's a possibility."

Bella cringed, _can't he just lie to me?_

"What about you?"

Bella blinked. "What about me?"

"What if the vampire comes back?" From the look on her face, he could tell that his question probably also felt like a blow to the stomach. She almost looked green. "Unless you're still in contact with whatshername, we won't know what'll happen in the future. And you know what? As long as I have you with me, as long as I can love you and have you love me back, I'm good."

Bella's eyes didn't waver from his face, and she could see that he meant it, and when he smiled at her, the smile was that of man who knew what he wanted. Of course, she already knew that. Jacob always knew what he wanted, and for some insane, inscrutable reason, he had always and still wanted her.

"You're the one I want, Bella." He answered as if he was following her thoughts. "Besides, these four years, it wasn't as if I was holed up in my garage. Between my father and the pack, I think they've paraded almost all of the Quileute girls in front of my nose."

Bella blinked in shock. "What?"

"I was moping. They thought if I only imprint, it would be better for me. But I didn't." He rubbed his forehead. "If I was so easily… lured away, I would've done that long ago, but I didn't. If what I felt for you was infatuation or something that could disappear with time or…some sort of werewolf magic, it would have gone long before this."

She wasn't quite sure what she felt about knowing that the pack had shoved lines of girls in front of Jacob's face.

He smiled at her, and the smile was amused and mischievous as if he knew what she was thinking. "Let's face it, Bells. You're stuck with me."

He tilted his head when she merely stared at him, her eyes big with sadness and hope and a willingness to believe. "If you're still worried, there is one way to make sure that I won't ever imprint."

"What?"

"I stop."

She blinked, "Stop what?" Her heart twisted. "You mean stop phasing?"

"Yeah."

The fire crackled and spurted out glowing cinders that danced in the air.

Bella finally felt her heart start beating again. "You can't do that."

"Why not?"

"You're Alpha."

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter. Any one of the pack can replace me. Besides, it's not like I won't have company."

Bella had to pick up her jaw from the sand. "Who?"

"Leah."

"Leah is stopping too?"

Jacob grinned. "Yeah, we'll entertain ourselves with who's gonna succeed first."

Bella wanted it. Wanted it so much. He'll be safe, he'll be hers, but...

"You can't. They need you. Especially with Leah leaving the pack."

"_You_ need me." He narrowed his eyes at her. "And don't bother denying it."

She wasn't planning to. "I do, but…I can't take you away from them."

"Bella—"

"No. Jake, you like being a werewolf. You like to run – I see it in your face – and you love the pack. You love being able to protect the tribe, I can't let you do this. I _won't_."

"Even if it means that someday I'll imprint?"

Tears blurred her eyes at the thought of Jacob leaving her, of Jacob _forgetting_ her. "Yes." Her chest ached at the thought, at the thought of him not _loving_ her, but…"I'd rather have you for a little while than not have you at all."

He stared at her for what seemed to be years, but then something like wonder and awe shifted over his face. "You really do love me, don't you?"

"What kind of a question is that?" Her temper streaked through her sadness. "Weren't you the one who always nagged that I really, really love you, but I just don't know it yet?"

Jacob couldn't help it, seeing her with her eyes shimmery with tears, but her whole demeanor stiff with insult really got to him, he snickered. He dodged the handful of sand she threw at him.

He definitely enjoyed the way she screeched, "Jacob Black, if you don't know by now that I love you, you won't know it a million years from now."

She looked so stricken by his doubt that he couldn't help but streak to her side and gather her onto his lap. She sat stiffly, but didn't fight his hold, only softening when he stroked her back and nuzzled her neck.

She smelt fantastic; a mingling of sweat, salt, spice and something that was distinctly her. He curved a smile against her skin when a shiver took her body when he pressed kisses along her neck. She sighed heavily in surrender before melting against him and drew him in her arms, her fingers tunneling into his hair. Softly, so softly that it was more like a breath than sound, she said, "Jacob, I love you."

It wasn't supposed to be possible, he thought. His heart, his mind, his soul were already too full with her, but as her words and sighs trembled in the air, his heart seemed to expand to take in more of her; her rapid heartbeat, the smoothness of her pale skin, the heavy drape of her hair, and the tears he could hear laced within her words. His throat clutched and he held her harder, tighter against his body.

"Say it again."

She pressed her lips on his temple and repeated her declaration, "I love you."

His heart shuddered._ He_ shuddered. Everything inside him seemed to burst out with those three words. He had never wanted anything, anybody, like he had wanted Bella. And now she was in his arms, safe and finally, _finally_, his. And with the layers of happiness, sadness and, strangely, grief twisting around inside him, it was with overwhelming fear that he asked, "We're really doing this?"

Bella froze at his question and her heart clenched painfully. Questions jumbled up inside her head, several variations of 'was I too late?' before she finally summoned up the courage to ask, "Don't you want to?"

A hot breath misted over her neck as Jacob laughed. "Bells, I want this so much. _Too_ much. I've wanted this for far too long and now that it's finally happening I'm just kind of—"

"Scared?"

Jacob lifted his face from her neck and leveled his eyes to hers. "Yeah."

Bella looked into his eyes and did see fear there, but also the glow of love and affection and a slow unfurling joy. Her eyes welled up and, maybe, there were tears in his eyes too. "I'm scared too." She admitted. Their foreheads met and their eyes closed and, as if someone had fed them the line, at the same time they said, "But we'll be together."

Their eyes blinked open and met for a heartbeat or two before a smile inched over their lips up to their eyes as they continued to hold each other.

"Together." Jacob whispered into her lips and she whispered it back into his. "Together."

The waves washed back toward the sand in complete harmony with the soft promise.


	34. AuthorsNote

So, here are my excuses:

First, I had to go to my home town for my annual tongue lashing (When are you going to get married? Why don't you have a boy friends? Are you a lesbian?), the internet connections SUCKS, besides with the many, many family members hanging around, I didn't have time for myself much less write.

Second, I stayed there for about a month and two weeks, when I came home, I got sick...stupid stomach bug.

Third, I am at a loss. I never expected this story to last this long or to have so many people loving it ( I LOVE YOU GUYS), so, I do have some ideas, but what I would really really like is for you guys to tell me what you want to read in this story and what you don't want.

I wrote this to be read more than because I want to write it, personally it's my way to sooth that big, ball of flame that ignited inside my heart (HATRED PEOPLE, HATRED) for that-book-after-eclipse-that-should-not-be-mentioned-EVER....so...go crazy..

THERE WILL BE NO IMPRINTING...that was the whole point of the story...

Yes, Edward will come back...yes, Bella and Jacob WILL do it.

and...well, I'll wait for you to PM me, or facebook me...*kicks back and waits*


	35. Heartbeats

A/N: I had to ease myself back into the story, so this and the next chapter will be a filler. HEY GUYS!!!! Yes, it's a miracle, I finally updated!! So, what do you think? And has anyone take a look at my original story yet????

--------

Jacob parked his classic black Harley in front of Bell's and studied the store. The store's front was charming and inviting, the faux effect of red brick walls and the wide open windows that presented a display of books, a deep sink-into-me chair, knick knacks and pastries. Little pots of flowers were scattered here and there to complete the come-inside-and-get-a-cup-coffee-and-read look.

It's been a week, two days and fifteen hours since they'd been 'together'. Ironically that night had also been the last night they'd seen each other. On the morning after, Bella was called out on an ordering emergency while he had to take care of JEQ's new but starting to be popular department; restoration and customization of Harleys of any kind. It was an idea he was trying out and it seemed to come together since they had four new orders so he, Quil, Embry and his senior mechanics kept busy.

Tonight was the first night he and Bella didn't have conflicted schedules and she had asked him to come by at closing time.

He caught sight of Brian from behind the cashier and knocked on the door to get his attention. The teenager grinned and walked over to open the door. "Hey, Jake. How are you?"

"Good." Better than good, his garage was going great, he finally convinced his dad to get rid of his old wheelchair and he was going to see Bella. Life was sweet.

He watched the teen locked the door behind him and approved of his cautiousness. He checked the security alarm panel that was hidden discreetly behind one potted lemon tree and winced when a loud jarring sound came from the speakers and hastily filtered his sense of hearing. Even after all these years, his heightened senses had a knack for knocking him onto his ass, he quickly searched for something to focus on to, something monotonous and simple and decided on the soft, slow ticking of the grandfather clock that was propped near the cash register. By doing so, his ears readjust and every other noise dampened into normal volume.

Brian bopped his head to the music as his wiped down tables and jerked a thumb to the kitchen. "There all in there. Just go in."

"Then why are you here?"

Brian sighed. "Got the short straw, besides, I make a mean coffee pot but baking isn't really my thing."

"Thanks." As he walked closer, the crisp, raspy voice of Sammy Hagar was joined with several other voices singing on and off key between laughter and insults. The smells of flour, sugar, butter and fruits clogged his nostrils and he fought not to sneeze, the miasma of scents coating the ceiling of his mouth, teasing his taste buds.

His stomach protested and he stifled a chuckle.

His lips stretched from a smile to a grin when he was greeted by the sight of complete mayhem. Flour was everywhere, also bits of fruit and whatever was smeared all over floor, coated the tables and splotched against multi-hued skin. There were also suspicious stains against the ceiling and walls. Even as he stood there staring, a piece of banana sailed across the room, what smelled like raspberry juice arched and splattered against Lulu's apron and had Tina screeching with laughter. A man he didn't know held a squirting instrument like it was an automatic weapon chased Misha around the long, wide wooden table that was placed in the center of the kitchen where plates, tinfoil, cookie cutters, measuring cups, blenders, two juice makers, a thermos, bowls of icing of every color, and carefully rounded dough were scattered in an order that he couldn't quite figure out. Lulu, Tina, Misha and the lone gun man was wearing trash bags over their clothes and bath caps over their heads to protect them from the mess they were tossing around.

Jacob was sure if a Health Inspector came to the scene, Bell's would be shut down for good.

But what amazed him most was that in the middle of all the screaming, squirting, throwing and singing was Bella, covered in muck, dressed in an old T-shirt and sweats and neon plastic sandals on her feet.

And much to his delight, she was dancing.

Oh, all right, she was merely circling the table, swaying back and forth, shuffling her feet and awkwardly flapping her arms but hey, she got rhythm.

Jacob saw her lips were busy muttering something as she placed mango slices on cups of dough and as he focused his hearing, he heard that she was singing off key. "We were loud, loud like a hurricane, loud like a roaring train. We were LOUD." She sang under her breath, shifting from foot to foot to the beat of the music as she pinched more flour to the table, a rolling pin on one hand. Sammy Hagar's Loud was also on JEQ's playlist and he kind of felt, well, strangely touched that they had listened to the same song as they worked in their own places. He watched her joined the other four people in jumping all around the kitchen and found himself thinking that if he wasn't already so much in love with her, this would push him head over heels.

You can admire people because of their bravery, respect people because of their deeds, care for people because of their inherent goodness but you know that what you're feeling is love when you see a person in their dorkiest, stupidest, mind-boggling behavior and found them endearingly heart breaking.

Jacob was smiling so wide that his cheeks hurt but he didn't care, something inside his chest burst open at the sight of a dirty faced, crazy haired, shrieking-like-a-mad-woman Bella.

Oh man, he was such a goner. Not that he didn't know that already.

He watched as Bella twisted in mid-air and finally caught sight of him, her jaw dropped with surprise and typically, Bella lost her balance. Stepping forward to catch her was something of a reflex.

Bella straightened in his arms and blinked at him before a blindingly bright smile bloomed on her face. "Jake, you're here."

He'd seen that smile before, he'd watched it on her face as she race across the school yard in order to get to him, he remembered the rich tumble of her laughter as they cleared the miles to the rez's territory line, the grip of her fingers on his waist and the glow in her eyes when he had looked back to grin at her.

His fingers tightened on the curve of her slender waist and smiled back when she looked at him as if she hadn't him for months and then, as if had she just realized what the scene looked like, a flush rose slowly to her cheeks. "Um, you're early."

Jacob raised an eyebrow and sent a meaningful look across the kitchen. "This is a food service thing, isn't it?"

Her forehead wrinkled.

"You know, unobtrusively serving us poor customers who don't have a clue about what goes on at the kitchen…do you spit in coffee and douse the sauce in rat poison?"

Lulu cackled. "Only when they've been bad."

Bella scowled at him and Lulu. "It's our annual cleaning of the staff's fridge."

Jacob perked up. "I remember those."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Of course you do, I practically crammed everything left in Charlie's fridge down your throat. It's a miracle you haven't went up and died of food poisoning." She mused.

"Aw, you're cooking isn't all that bad, Bells."

She snorted. Then she realized she was still in his arms—probably from the way Lulu, Misha and Tina was smirking away—and jerked away in embarrassment. Jacob could actually feel a frown starting on his forehead but he managed to shrug it off. He put his hands in his pocket because of the sudden urge to pull her back at his side and spread his gaze over the kitchen. Besides the mess, he'd always been partial to this room and not just because it's a source of never-ending miraculous snacks but because it was cheerful with the dandelion yellow walls, the white tiles with small painted daisies, the big back windows painted a moss green and several small potted herbs that gave the air a spicy smell. Not even the state of the art ovens, the walk in freezer, the subzero fridge, the arrays of spoons, spatula and the like hanging over the island table, the stove and the silver aluminum racks filled with tin cans and pails, and pans and whatever could take away the home kitchen feeling. He could see himself pulling out one of the stools and sit on the island to watch her make something or other, just like he had before at Charlie's.

At the corner of his eye he saw Bella sneaked a peek at him as if she was reassuring herself that he was there and smiled a secret smile. He felt his own lips quirked into a smile.

Lulu coughed. "Jake, haven't seen you in a while."

Jacob hitched his hips on a clean spot on a counter. "Yeah, been busy with the garage."

"Business doing good?" Tina asked while she whisked something in a green bowl.

Jacob nodded.

Misha let out a small gasp and snapped her fingers as if she just remembered something. The surprise on her face belied the mischievous twinkling in her eyes "Jake, you haven't met Damien, right?"

Bella fumbled with her rolling pin and it dropped with a sharp clack on the table.

Tina swallowed a smile. "You okay, Bella?"

"_Fine_." She mumbled as she tossed a look to whom Jacob already deduced as Damien who lifted an eyebrow back at her. Bella stifled a sigh.

Did that silent exchange bother him? Sure.

Did the cool, calculating look on Damien's green eyes put his back up? Of course.

Did it grate on his nerve that Damien didn't look ridiculous even when he was wearing a trash bag and bath cap? Yes.

But then again, he wasn't the one dating Bella, right?

Jake held up a hand. "Jacob."

He didn't wince when something squish between their hands, "Damien. Been hearing a lot about you."

Jake inched up his smile. "Same here. Think they're trying to set us up against each other?"

The grin on Damien's face was wide and sharp. "I wouldn't put it against them."

"Why would they do that?"

Damien waved a hand in the air. "You know how it is. Women when they're bored, they get into plotting, creating trouble. Inciting riots."

Jake stifled a smile and sighed mournfully. "It all went to hell as soon as we gave them the right to vote."

Damien took out two beers from the crew fridge and handed one to him. They clinked bottles. "Amen, brother."

The Three rolled their eyes and muttered something derogatory and flaming about male genitalia. Bella however simply kept flicking them worried looks.

Damien poked a finger on her dirty cheek. "Don't worry, sweets. I won't kill him until you tell me to." He then took a pull from the bottle and smiled amiably at Jake, the smile only widening when Bella speared him with an exasperated look.

Lulu took hold of the rolling pin from Bella's hands and shooed her. "Now, you two go on. You had dinner plans and you need to take a shower, Bella."

Just as if she realized what she must look like, Bella made a dismayed sound and hesitantly fingered her hair which was sticky and clumpy with…stuff. Jacob grinned when an embarrassed flush pinked her cheeks. "Don't worry about it, Bells. You look, well, delicious. Is that cream custard on your head?"

Misha squinted. "No, I think that's filling."

"I'll just…go." She made some sort of gesture and inched toward the stairs, ignoring the laughter. Jake trailed after her.

"That turned out quite well." She commented as they climbed up stairs. "I thought Damien would tie you down and interrogate you or something."

"He could try."

Bella aimed a glance at him. "Be nice."

Jake snorted. "Don't be fooled by his amiable acceptance, Bells. He's just waiting for the perfect time to flay me alive."

Bella stopped and turn to look at him. "That's ridiculous."

He leaned his shoulder on the wall. "Bells, I'm a stranger in his territory. Believe me, once I give him an excuse, he'll kick my ass out. A territory can't have two Alphas."

"You're thinking like a wolf."

"I'm thinking like a man." He shrugged. "Personally, I'm kind of relieved you have someone like him at your side."

Bella glanced at him before walking up again. "Why?"

Jake grinned. "He probably frightened off more than enough guys who came sniffing at you." Thankful or not, Jake would have to make clear that scaring him off was…well, laughable. He could respect Damien cautiousness, he was after all man of the house in Bella's little circle. But even when he knew it wouldn't be a fair fight, he almost hoped Damien would spring a punch at him because as he saw Bella among her friends, a stabbing pain went through his chest and he couldn't help but resent them for having Bella, for Bella having them while he was…

It was ridiculous really, he should be glad that Bella had found friends, and he _was_. He was also enormously relieved that she found work that she loved and friends that she cared about who also watched out for her…but he couldn't help the thought that...he could've done better. He should've been here.

It looked he hadn't quite forgiven her.

He shook himself, little resentments like that could crop up into big ones and it could mess everything up. But the thought persisted enough that he reached an arm to hold Bella's. She stopped and turned.

"We promised no more lies, right?"

Bella nodded, her eyes wary.

"That we're not going to hide anything?"

She nodded again.

Jake looked into her eyes in the dim stairway but darkness didn't matter to his werewolf eyes. "I'm jealous."

Bella's mouth sprung open. "But Jake, Damien is—"

"No, not of Damien." He frowned. "Well, sort of but…it's _them,_ Bella."

"Them?"

Jake smiled at the confused look on her face. "Don't you notice? You have your own pack. Lulu, Brian, Tina, Misha and Damien, they're your pack and I don't know them. They had time with you that I didn't have, they have a history with you that I don't know. These last few years…I want _my_ pack to be your pack, your family." Jake paused in embarrassment, to his ears he sounded like a selfish, whiny boy that had lost hold of his favorite toy. "I'm jealous of them…and resentful of their time with you." Uncomfortable, Jake looked away from her face. God, he'd never felt this vulnerable in a long time.

She took a step down so they could be face to face and held his face between her hands. Her eyes were soft and not a little amused and baffled. He gave her a rueful grin which made her lips curve into delicate smile. "Jake, how do you think I feel every time you go romping all about the forest with your pack? Then there's your tribe, and Rachel. Quil and Embry are not just your pack brothers but also your best friends and you've known each other since birth."

"Not really, probably since we were four."

She poked him in the chest before sliding a glance at him that made him feel uneasy. She hesitated, mulled at what she wanted to say but carried through. "Then there are the women." Her voice carried softly to him.

"There _were_ the women." He corrected just as softly before grinning. "I only have one woman now."

Her eyes dropped to his collar even as her hands glided over his shoulders, her fingers curling over the ends of his hair. "I hate every single one of them because they had you."

He couldn't help but circle his arms around her waist pulling her to him. Feeling tickled and insanely smug. "Do you?"

She shrugged and tipped her head down and shyly tucked her face into the curve of his neck. Jacob held her tightly even as he belatedly remembered the muck that she had all over her. But he was mechanic, he had muck all over him daily. Besides, it would take more than sticky sugar and flour to stop him from wanting to hold her. He pressed his lips to her temple and felt her slide even closer to him, her arms circling his neck. The scent of sweets and spices and flour wrapped around them and Jacob couldn't feel more content as he felt her heartbeat knocked against his chest.

His heart twisted, floated and eased down in his chest.

"You know what I miss the most, Jake?"

"What?" He whispered against her ear.

"Your bone crunching hugs."

"My bone crunching hugs?" He repeated, amused.

She sighed and her breath wafted over the skin of her neck. Bella put her head on his shoulder. "Every one of your hugs, actually."

His interest caught. "Really?"

She nodded, brushing her cheek on his shoulder. "You always give out the best hugs."

The tiny bites of resentment were overwhelmed by a well of affection and love, he wondered why he fed that small petty part of him anyway when he could have _this_. "Well, anytime you want one, you only need to ask."

Her arms tightened around him before she pulled back and kissed him lightly on his cheek and on the other cheek. Then after a brief hesitation, she put her lips to his for a quick kiss. He barely tasted her before she put her fingers in his and pulled him up.

He didn't need a mirror to see the big, stupid smile that erupted on his face. The same smile that had aggravated everyone in his vicinity, the same dreamy look on his face that made Embry and Quil announced him useless and majorly annoying then kicked him out of their private workroom. Not that he put up much of a fight, he was just happy he could see her faster.

Bella opened the door to her apartment and sighed while Jacob raised both his brows when they saw Mercy lying on the floor with her eyes closed.

"Mercy, I told you, you can use the bed. And you guys aren't finished, yet?"

Mercy's eyes opened. "Don't blame me. Blame Mr. Perfectionist over there."

"Hey, any job worth doing is worth doing well." Caleb shouted from the bathroom. There was a loud clang and a louder curse.

Mercy sat up, "Seriously Caleb, if you can't do it…"

"Yes, I _can_. Stop nagging at me, woman."

Jacob sent a questioning gaze to Mercy.

"He's fixing…or_ trying_ to fix the shower head. He's been at it like twenty minutes now." She turned her head to the bathroom. "What's the problem, Caleb?"

"Shut it and let me work."

Mercy rolled her eyes. "He's been like that for the rest of day."

Bella got a can of coke from her fridge. "Is he even close to finishing 'cause I really need a shower."

The younger girl looked at her and did a double take. "Geez, what did you do? Throw pies at each other?"

Jacob laughed. "Something like that."

"Well, since you're here, might as well join us for dinner."

Mercy's dark eyes turned mischievous when they slid to Jacob's face before saying sweetly. "Oh, no. We can't do that."

"Oh, yes we can." Caleb prompted.

Mercy's smirk grew wider. "But, we'll be interrupting."

It seemed to Jacob that Mercy and Bella had reached a sort of impasse since earlier on Bella would turned quietly bemused at Mercy's sharp smirk, now she just rolled her eyes before turning to him. "They might as well join us since a_ few people_ seemed to have invited themselves anyway."

Jacob chuckled softly. "Knew it was too easy."

"They didn't mean anything by it, they just want to get to know you better, I guess. I don't really talk about my life…before."

She seemed so guilty and ill at ease that Jacob brushed the back of his hand across her cheek. "It's all right, Bells. I'd like to get to know them, too."

The smile that crept up her eyes warmed his heart.

"Right." Mercy shot to her feet and clapped sharply, ruining the moment. "Before you guys get all mushy and getting all kissy face, I'll just get myself downstairs and salvage some snacks."

"Get some for me!"

"Hurry up, creep." She shouted back at Caleb before she cleared the stairs in record time.

Jacob twisted his neck to the door just in case Mercy fell and broke her neck. "We got to do something about this you know."

Bella looked at him while she took out plates and plates of food from the oven. Her expression questioning.

"Between Charlie, my dad, my pack and _your _pack, we'll never get time alone."

She bit her bottom lip and gave him a look that he couldn't quite understand. "I know. I've been thinking about that."

"Yeah?"

"What about we go somewhere? You know, just the two of us." She took off the aluminum foil covering and shrugged. A soft blush highlighting her cheekbones. "Not like a trip—I mean, like a date."

"A date."

"Yeah. A date."

Jacob could practically smell the sweat that was coming off of her. He watched her throat work and the way her eyes sneaked peeks from the veil of her hair. It was sweet how she seemed so nervous and unsure. He probably took too long to answer because she immediately waved a hand. "I mean, it's all right if you don't want, too. As you said you're busy—"

"Hey." Jacob wrapped his fingers around her upper arms and pulled her to him. "If you want to go on a date. We'll go on a date."

She frowned at him. "Not if you don't want to."

He wanted to laugh. "Bells, honey, don't you know by now that I pretty much will do anything for you? And are you kidding me? A date means I finally have you to myself, why wouldn't I want it?"

Her frown deepened. "I don't know. Sometimes, you just confuse me. When I expect you to do something, you don't and when I don't, you do."

Jacob chuckled at the aggrieved look on her face. "Good, I don't want to be predictable."

"Believe me, Jake. Nothing about you is predictable."

"No? How about this?" He swooped down and covered her mouth with his. The kiss was slow, and warm and wet. He teased her with his mouth, his tongue, his teeth and his fingertips on her skin, keeping the pressure of his lips unbearably soft until she lifted herself on tip toes to reach more of his mouth. Fire erupted in his belly and he knew he had to step back or he would end up doing something they wouldn't be ready for. Not that he would object if she...

Jacob eased back and cleared his throat.

"There's nothing predictable about that." She murmured.

"No?" He asked, his tone impish. "Me, having you alone with my arms around you. I thought the outcome would've been pretty predictable."

Bella snorted a laughed and buried her face on his chest. "Oh, Jake."

The soft exasperated affection in her voice made him smile and he propped his chin on the top of her head. "Oh, Bells."

They simultaneously took deep breaths and closed their eyes.

"AHA!!" Caleb yelled in triumph. "I'm coming out, you two better still have clothes on."

Jacob groaned. "We definitely are going on that date." He muttered into her hair and making her laugh.


	36. Authors Request

No, sadly, this is not an update. But new chapter is with my beta reader and another is on the cooker. I know, I know, it's taking WAY too long but I assure you that you will like the new chapters.

In the meantime, I would really love it if you follow me on the new** THE PASSING YEARS twitter** (**thepassingyears**). I've wrote way too much stories nowadays that I have to have separate emails and twitter accounts to keep up with the reviews and all my readers. So, add me? The more of you add, the faster I update. Besides, I would really love hearing from you all and get inputs!


	37. Author's Request II

IN NEED OF DIRE HELP!

Hi, ya all! I need help. My interest in writing this story is waning. Please, help me and tell what you love about this book, quote me, point out what you love, and what you expect to see! IN DIRE NEED OF JACOB/BELLA LOVE!

PLEASE JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP I MADE IN WELL, FACEBOOK CALLED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE PASSING YEARS!

Give me suggestions, ideas, Jacob/Bella fanvids. HEEEEEEELP!


	38. Between Scenes

Jacob lifted the spoon that was smeared with black and white icing and licked. He dropped the spoon on his plate with a clink and smiled at the uncharacteristically smug look on Bella's face.

Caleb was snickering at the background while Mercy watched everybody else with her big black eyes. The Three, Brian and Damien looked flabbergasted, disgusted and envious at the same time.

Bella held up a hand to them and wriggled her fingers. "I told you he can finish a whole cake by his lonesome. Pay up. "

Still shocked at Jacob's display of X-treme eating, they pushed tenners into Bella's hand without taking their eyes of a laughing Jacob.

Bella counted the money in her hands with an unmistakably scrooge-like glee. He supposed he should be disturbed by Bella's sudden turn to the mercenary but Jacob knew how she felt, he felt it himself in his earlier days with JEQ. Every penny counted. Besides, the way she squinted her eyes and made a show of counting the money was just so damn cute.

Bella's fingers paused in her counting and then aimed a dirty look at Brian. "Nice try, Bry. Fork up the other 5."

Jacob snickered when he saw that Brian did in fact play the oldest trick in the book, crinkling the money so you would see there were more than one bill. Brian groused and grumbled but slid another five toward her.

"Hey, if you couldn't afford it, you shouldn't have made the bet." She admonished him and started counting the money again.

Brian slid further down the booth they were seating in, due to their large numbers they took the dinner party to the cafe rather than upstairs at Bella's place. The younger boy pouted. "Well, who knew that he could do it? Who eats a whole cake anyway?"

"How about the people who goes on those 'all you can eat' contest?" Tina offered and Brian scowled. "You're raining on my rant here, T."

Lulu still wore a half disgusted, half awed expression on her face. "Where do you put it all?" She eyed Jacob's flat abs. The soft green T shirt he wore didn't so much as hid but emphasize his muscular body.

"He probably throws up after." Misha mumbled and stabbed her piece of pie. She was never happy when she lost a bet. Especially when she lost money.

"Maybe Jake has an extra stomach, you know, like cows." Tina smirked.

Jacob laughed. "Don't be a sour loser, guys. Just so you know, when it comes to food, don't bet against me." He paused and tilted his head. "In fact, just don't bet against me."

Bella rolled her eyes. "On that note, all this goes to the wish jar." She smiled when everyone of her crew beamed.

Caleb swallowed the rest of his strawberry cheese cake. "Wish jar?"

"It's like our road trip money. Once every three months, we pick a place to go and break the jar." Tina nudged her piece of cake to Caleb and he flashed her a grin.

"How can you eat one whole cake and still look like you?" Lulu narrowed her eyes at Jacob.

"Great metabolism."

"It's just not him, you know." Caleb pointed at Jacob with his spoon. "You should take a look at his friends, they all eat as much and look like that."

"You guys were probably a government hormonal mutant project." Misha snickered.

Bella shot him a laughing look from where she was stuffing money into a jar. He ignored it and just smiled.

Lulu looked at her hips and thighs. "Ugh, I am so hating you right now."

"We all hate you." Bella took her seat beside Jacob and grinned. Jacob grinned back, "Sure, sure."

Tina threw them a look. "Bella likes to say that. With the exact same tone."

Bella shrugged, a little bit embarrassed. "I guess I picked it from him and Billy."

"Billy?"

"Jacob's dad."

Caleb suddenly lifted his head from his almost empty plate. "Say, I almost forgot. The dentist dude came back with an offer, Jake."

"The dentist dude?"

"Yeah, you know. The one who keeps giving you offers for your bike."

Jacob sipped coffee. "Who talked to him?"

"I did."

"And you said…"

Caleb swallowed the last piece of his cake and stared mournfully at the empty plate. Mercy rolled her eyes and shoved her plate of cake at him. He grinned and nudged his shoulder against hers. "That you weren't interested in selling. But when I did, he just hiked up the price."

Jacob shook his head. "Keep telling him that, maybe one day he'll believe it."

"That bike over there?" Damien craned his head to see Jacob's black Harley at the front of the store. "Sweet ride."

Jacob nodded, graciously accepting praise for his baby.

"He seems determined, Jake. You sure you don't want to sell?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Sentimental reasons." Jacob perched his arm on the back of Bella's chair and smiled. "It was a birthday gift from Bella."

"What?" Bella blinked then turned her head to look at the bike in question before looking back at Jacob. "You mean that's the old Harley Sprint?"

"Yup. Total make over but the skeleton is still the same."

Bella looked at him as a thousand emotions passed through her heart. Her eyes felt hot and she blinked them fast to discourage tears. As if he knew how she felt, Jacob's fingers curled on her shoulder and squeezed gently. He ducked her head to look at her and when their eyes met, she smiled and in that smile was love and gratitude.

"Woah. Wait up!" Caleb waved his hands around. "Bella, you gave Jacob a bike for his birthday? _My_ birthday is coming up. Gimme some of that love."

Bella laughed. "It wasn't like that. What I gave him was crap, I got it for free from one of the neighborhood boys who wanted to throw it away." She jerked a thumb to the man beside her.

"He did all the work." A stray thought caught in her mind. "What happened to mine?"

"She's in the garage actually, she's one of our teaching tools. The part-timers get to dismantle and put her back together again."

Bella smiled, her eyes soft at the thought of her motorcycle and the days she and Jacob spent riding their bikes.

"Wait a minute." Now it was Lulu who interrupted their conversation. "You, Bella, had a bike? We're talking like a mini-bike here right? One of those toys?"

Bella huffed as if offended that her badass-ness was in question. "Of course not."

Tina gawked. "You had a bike? Did Jake let you ride it?"

"I did. She got the hang of it after a while."

"After how many trips to the ER?"

Jacob glanced at Bella. "They really know you, don't they?"

Bella scowled. "Hey, I was good at it."

"Jake, why in God's name did you let her get near a bike much less ride it?" Damien demanded. "I thought you were the responsible one in the relationship."

Jake took a moment to get his laughter under control before slyly saying, "You shouldn't underestimate Bella, you know. She was pretty wild back then. Cliff diving, riding bikes, inciting fights, running away from home."

"Jake!"

"What? You were."

Bella rolled her eyes but can't help but smile at the way he grinned at her. Besides, when you think about it, he wasn't actually lying. It sort of tickled her that the most dangerous, not to mention supernaturally charged, moments in her life could be summed up in one harmless sentence. She pressed her lips together. "Well, I'm reformed now. I'm perfectly ordinary."

Jacob scoffed. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that."

Their eyes met, amusement and affection glowing softly in their eyes. Jacob stroke her cheek with a gentle finger as conversation rose softly around them, both of them not noticing the eyes that watched them closely.

"Hey, what happened to my car?" Bella asked suddenly between pouring a cup of ice lemon tea.

Jacob picked up a cookie. "It's Caleb's car now."

"The old monster used to be your car?" Caleb asked with a grin.

"Hey, be respectful. That car is old faithful, it never disappointed me. Even once."

Caleb laughed. "Yeah, I'm starting to think that Jake did a ritual sacrifice to keep it running."

Jacob leaned back on his chair and smirked. "Why do you think I always need new part-timers?

"So, anyone going to tell me why you guys felt the need to mess up the kitchen? Jacob asked while he scooped ice cream into a bowl. He raised an eyebrow when Bella stifled a groan.

"Oh, that." She waved a dismissively but Jacob was intrigued by the soft color that rose up from her neck to her cheeks. "It's nothing."

"Uh, huh. You do that often?"

"Once a month." Lulu chimed in. "It helps with Bella's OCD tendencies."

Jacob laughed, loud and long. "You noticed that, huh?"

"Are you kidding me?" Tina scoffed. "You should've seen how she was the first day we opened."

"I wasn't that bad." Bella mumbled and slid down her chair when Tina hit her with a dirty look.

"Bella, you tackled me because you thought you saw a speck of dirt on the plate I was carrying."

"There was!"

"It was chocolate powder! And I was carrying chocolate cake!"

"And the debrief after we closed? It was all very _name, rank, serial number_." Misha emphasized each word with hitting the table with her fist.

Bella smacked a hand on her glowing red face but her so-called friends wasn't done embarrassing her just quite yet.

"I once caught her rearranging everything in the kitchen. At _three_ in the morning." Lulu recounted, she always had to come in early to prepare.

"I couldn't sleep." Bella pouted.

"What happened to watching TV?"

"I didn't want to watch TV."

"So you rearrange the utensils instead?" Misha scoffed. "How is that normal?"

"I think she rewashed all the dishes once." Brian grinned when a kernel of pop corn bounced against his head courtesy of Bella.

As her pack detailed all her humiliating past actions, Jacob stared at Bella and shook his head slowly.

"What? You can't tell me that you don't prowl around at night at your garage and check everything?" Bella demanded mulishly.

"Actually, I don't. I have staff to do that." His face set into an unbelievably condescending expression that made her want to punch him-or kiss him. She wasn't exactly sure.

He sent her a pitying glance. "We need to trust the people we work with, Bells."

Her pack nodded seriously in tandem. Caleb chortled. Even Mercy crackled a smile.

"Oh, shut up and eat your ice cream." Punch him, she thought, definitely punch him. She tried to remember where she put the crow bar they used to open crates.

"So, riding bikes, cliff diving, running away from home and picking fights?" Lulu smiled sweetly when Bella glared at her. "I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. When you're drunk you get pretty riled up."

Now it was Jacob who perked up. "You got Bella drunk?"

Damien snickered. "We had our first mentioned in the papers, so we celebrated."

Jacob winced at the thought of drunk Bella but was interested enough to ask. "How long did she last before she fell flat on her face?"

He didn't bat an eyelash when Bella smacked his chest with a hand. Instead he caught it, kissed the back of her hand and laced their fingers together. Bella blinked, blushed at the look on her friends' face and settled back into her seat.

The crowd snickered at the display.

Lulu leaned forward, her face excited as if she was going to share a delicious secret. "She danced. On a table."

They laughed as Jacob gaped at them with his mouth open. "She danced? On a table?" He turned to Damien. "Tell me I'm not just hearing things."

Damien smiled, amused. "You're not hearing things."

"Pictures?" He asked again, everybody else, excluding Bella, snorted at the hopeful look on his face.

"I'll email you."

Jacob clinked his glass against Damien's. "Excellent."

"Ha. Damien, you're fired." Bella scowled at Damien.

"No, can do, sweetie. You promised me a job for life, remember?"

"I changed my mind."

"Ever heard of breach of contract?"

Jacob was delighted when he heard Bella growled.

"Let me get this straight. She danced on a table and didn't break her neck? Did she break somebody else's neck?" Jacob confirmed.

Misha pointed a fork at Jacob, her face serious. "That's the thing, something about being drunk actually makes her coordinated."

"She was pretty good, actually. Very sinuous, very sexy. Almost graceful." Tina agreed.

Brian joined in with a snigger. "The alcohol probably short-circuited her brain and reset her motor skills."

Jacob laughed so hard he had to wipe tears out of his eyes. "Oh, man. I've always known there was something wrong with your brain, Bells, but seriously." He flashed Lulu a wicked smile.

"Have any tequila around? Wait, what's your poison, Bells?"

"Just wait and I'll poison you." Bella threatened, glaring down at her cup.

"His metabolism would probably suck all of it and ask for seconds."

Bella blinked at Jacob's thoughtful and only half-joking 'probably'.

"I'm not all that bad, you know." Bella played with her bowl of ice cream, meshing and twirling the spoon around.

"Bells, your OCD is awful. Charming but awful. I mean just look at your kitchen." Jacob waved a hand in the air.

"I didn't do anything to the kitchen. _They_ trashed it."

"Not that kitchen, _your_ kitchen. The one upstairs."

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's the exact replica of Charlie's place."

Bella gasped. "No, it's not. It doesn't look like Charlie's at all."

"No, but the placement of everything is."

"It is _not_."

Jacob's fingers curled around the back of her neck as he leaned forward until their noses touched. "You want to bet on that, Bella honey?"

In a show of spine, Bella bristled. "Damn right I do."

Jacob's wide, even lips widened into a grin. His eyes sparkled with glee. "Oh, the game is _on_."

A/N: Ah yes finally. I know. I know. New chapter will be posted tomorrow. Thanks for all the support guys, you all rock. And thanks for following this story, getting all passionate and even stalkery. LOL.

Shenannigans and Jacob/Bella fluff will continue with the next chapter, as will the date!

You should all check out my The Passing Years Facebook Group, called Everything About The Passing Years and my twitter DFJULES for updates and snippets!


	39. Between Scenes part II

**Title****:** The Passing Years  
**Author:** Borntobewild13/Rainypromise  
**Rating**: M  
**Pairing**: Jacob/Bella  
**Timeline**: After Eclipse. Essentially, this is my version of BD (the book that shall not be mentioned)  
**Summary**: After Eclipse, Jacob came back, got his life together and did pretty good...then he found out that for the last two years, Bella had been living in Port Angeles, that she was still human and unmarried. So, of course, now all bets are off.

**Disclaimer:** If Twilight was mine, BD would never have happened. And I would be really rich indeed. Sadly, it's not.

**A/N:** I'm sorry that I haven't been updating. I do have a good excuse. One of my books have a chance of getting published! *throws confetti* only, I have major loads of revising and editing to do, that kind of took all of my free time, especially since this book will be a trilogy so I'm busy busy busy. Will make time to post though since I have free time now. Sort of.

Anyway, here's a new chapter. Enjoy, and I love you guys for really,_ really_ loving this story so much that you nagged, begged and threatened me on twitter (DFJULES) or facebook (Julia Dwi Fitri) or even at The Passing Years facebook Group (Everything about The Passing Years). For Jessica and Rachael (my two admin who amuses me so much, plies me with suggestions, encouragements and songs (yes, you Jessica)) and my other readers, you guys rocked!

P.s: This haven't seen a beta reader yet, so all mistakes are mine.

They were all gathered around Bella's kitchen.

Jacob didn't know what he was amused at the most. The different degrees of dubious expressions on Bella's pack faces as he rattled off his knowledge of Charlie's kitchen or their slightly disturbed and deepening awe as Caleb poked his head into cabinets and confirmed that what he was saying was true. "Cereal boxes are sorted by the majority of colors on their boxes. Left to right: red, blue, green and mixed."

"In the next cabinet would be teapots, sorted by their motifs. Left to right: animals, fruit and flowers."

"On the side drawers closest to the fridge, top to bottom is filled with the usual things: spoons, forks, spatula all gathered together. That's kind of boring, but she saves those twisty little things that are usually used to close up the bags for cookies or candy or bread. She sorts them out by color into little Ziplocs."

Brian hooted as Caleb lifted one and waved it around. Mercy snickered.

Those Ziploc was the straw that not only broke the camel's back, it also killed it.

Lulu took her eyes off Jacob to stare at Bella who had refused to meet anyone's eyes. Instead she turned her redden cheeks away from them and stared at some watermark on her ceiling, she was trying to figure out what shape it was forming. So far, Bella thought it looked like a snail.

Silence blanketed the room as all eyes focused on Bella who gritted her teeth and tried not to let it get to her. Lulu waited a beat before exclaiming, "_Bella_."

Lulu said her name like a mother who had found her child doing something really bad. Like, you know, messing up a kitchen.

Jacob tried to swallow his smile. He really did but he guessed it showed in his voice. "Do you want me to continue?"

She flashed him a dirty look, but he merely took out a mug, poured coffee from a fresh pot—there was always a fresh something in Bella's kitchen—and met her eyes with a bright smile.

Damien shook his head slowly in disbelief. "This is going to be long, hard battle."

Murmurs of disappointment and sighs followed his statements from Tina and Misha as they milked the situation for all it was worth. Brian merely ambled off to the cabinets and pull out a big bag of chips. He shared it with Mercy and Caleb as they watched the others, expecting to be entertained.

"_What_?" Bella groused. "So I like to have things in order. And _I_ arranged things in Charlie's kitchen so of _course_ things would be as I like it." Her eyes flashed with irritation when her pack kept _looking_ at her. "_What_?"

Lulu and Damien turned away, each wearing pained expressions as if it hurt to look at her. "Come on, folks. Shows over, let's clean up the kitchen." They hustled as Lulu herded them out of the room. "And we had such high hopes, too."

"What are we going to do with her?" Damien muttered, his voice belying the amusement in his eyes.

"But, _we_ didn't do anything. Why should we help to clean up?" Caleb complained.

"There's more pie in the kitchen." Lulu bribed.

"Excellent." Caleb elbowed his way to the front. "Whoever gets there first gets the biggest piece."

"What is your stomach made of? A blackhole?" Tina asked half-seriously. "Is this a Quileute thing?"

Mercy's voice was nearly a murmur as they all thumped down the stairs. "I can eat pie."

"It_ is_ a Quileute thing." The others agreed simultaneously.

Jacob snickered as Bella turned to him and crossed her arms, her face red and mutinous. She looked like she was expecting an apology but Jacob merely looked at her. In fact, he was looking at her so intensely that Bella narrowed suspicious eyes at him. "Are you trying to think of more ways to embarrass me?"

"Actually, I'm waiting for you to stomp your foot."

Jacob watched delightedly as her face grew even more bad tempered. Bella in a temper excited him. Anger looked _gorgeous_ on her.

"Fine. You won our bet. What do you want?"

He sipped his coffee, hiding his smile at the thought of all the things that he wanted from her…or do _to_ her. "I don't know, yet."

Bella's shoulders relaxed and she could feel a hint of a smile appeared on her lips as she looked at him. He had looked so comfortable and at ease in her kitchen and among her friends. She liked seeing him joking around with her friends—her pack. She was irked that he went after her with his stories and weird bets but that was just Jacob being Jacob.

Their eyes met and his lips curved into a slow, sly smile. "But I'm sure I could think of something."

Bella blinked. It wasn't what he said, really. It was _how_ he said it, his voice was a mix of chocolate and sugared creams; low and husky and…She shifted her feet at the look in his eyes: dark and heated.

She swallowed and she could feel her already warm cheeks starting to blaze. Thank God that her friends weren't here to hear him. They would never stop teasing her about it.

She heard him chuckle and his fingers grazed her left cheek. "If you keep blushing like that, you'll get dizzy."

She tried to elbow him aside but who was she kidding? Nobody could move Jacob unless he wanted to be moved. "I'm mad at you."

His eyes shone with innocence. "For what?"

She narrowed his eyes at him. "Don't even bother, Jake."

"Awwww, don't be mad. I only wanted them to like me, so I shared some stories."

Bella scoffed. "They already like you far too much for my comfort. I'm sure anyone of them would give you their first born if you ask for it."

"I can get my own first born, thank you very much."

She lifted her eyes to him and felt her heart melt at the way he was looking at her while nerves wracked her heart at the implication of his words. "We haven't even had a date yet and already you're talking about kids?"

He shrugged and put his hands on her waist. "You've seen them, remember? There were two." He tilted his head in thought. "Do you think they were twins?"

Bella was taken aback by the way he casually mentioned her vision but then her mind was also caught up by the thought. She remembered the dark haired children, how could she not? The moment she saw them was one of the most defining moments of her life. And she remembered telling him about it, the look on his face, and the crushing weight in her chest everytime _she_ remembered it. She remembered hearing their children laugh as they ran into the forest, seemingly quite at home in the wild. Like their father.

A boy and a girl. They looked to be the same size. Rachel and Rebecca were twins, so…"Oh my God. It _could _be twins."

Jacob did a double take, amazed that Bella was actually considering it, then burst out laughing at the look on her face. "Don't sound so horrified, honey."

"Twins, Jake. We could have twins."

She looked so panicked at the thought that Jacob smothered the smile that threatened to erupt at hearing her say 'we' and rubbed her shoulders. "Bells honey, I think we should go on a date first before naming our kids."

"Oh, that's true." Then she frowned. "Wait, why are we talking about my vision like it's a done deal?"

"Why are we talking and using words like 'my vision'?"

"Because we're not normal?"

Jacob snickered, walked across the kitchen and sat on one of the sofas. He sent a wicked grin her way and patted his lap. Bella rolled her eyes but sat on his lap anyway. She giggled when he immediately wrapped her in a bear hug. For a second she thought that this should be awkward, weren't they still in the 'nearly first date' stage of their relationship; that nervous, strange phase of any relationship?

"So, where should we go on this date?"

Bella tucked her face against his shoulder, sniffing him. He smelled like oil and musk and sugar and strawberries. When it was clear that she was distracted, he nudged her with his chin. "Hey, answer me, woman."

"Oh, the woman calling is starting all ready? Soon you'd have me chained to the kitchen."

"I don't have to, you already spend all your time in the kitchen. I just have to make sure you spend all your time in my kitchen now."

Bella snorted, her breath tickling his neck.

"So?"

"I don't know. _I_ asked _you_. So you decide on the place. Surprise me."

Jacob eased his head away in order to see her better. "You hate surprises."

"In order to survive in _my _pack, I've adapted."

Jacob chuckled low in his throat, his chest rumbled against her cheek. "Was it really that bad?"

She drew figure eights against his T shirt. "It was touch and go for a while. But, I survived. Stockholm syndrome probably helped."

That earned her another smile from him and she smiled against his neck before leaning her head against his shoulder. "Seriously, Jake. Surprise me. I'm sure anything you choose will be fine."

"I could choose a bar for all you know."

"Then I'd probably like it."

He gave her a dubious look and she rolled her eyes. "I've been to bars you know."

He kept the dubious look on his face.

"Lulu. Damien." She said as an explanation. "Besides, being you. You'd never take me to a place that's not to my liking."

"How'd you know?"

"Because you're you. You can't help it. You're thoughtful like that."

His lips curved when their foreheads met. "Am I?"

"Yes, that's why I, you know, sort of love you."

"Sort of?"

Her smile was impish and mischievous and fun. Jacob was fascinated…and of course, he just had to kiss her. As soon as their lips met, her arms wrapped around his neck while he clamped his body to hers with one arm while the other delved into her hair.

Their lips locked with no foreplay whatsoever.

Tongues tangled without preliminaries.

Hunger echoed in every touch.

The playful tone of their banter changed into heat as skin touched skin. Jacob's hand slipped down her back to worm into her T-shirt.

Hers were already on his naked ribs.

Bella shifted on his lap. "Wait, let me—" With an adept twist of her body, she straddled him and their torsos crushed against each other. Jacob let out a deep, dark growl and Bella let out a small whimper when he nipped at her bottom lip.

Her nails scratched his back and his mouth drew a hot trail against the curve of her neck. When she let out a moan, he came back up and hunted for her mouth.

Jacob was on fire. And he was so hard it was painful. Quiet, serious Bella always managed to arouse him beyond belief. Who would've known that she would become so uninhibited in his arms? When it came to passion, Bella was no delicate flower. She scratched, she writhed, she moaned. All his hard-earned control was smoke. All he wanted to do now was dragged her into bed and spent the night loving her.

He cursed when she bit his earlobe hard. He paid her back by sucking her neck. "Like to bite, honey? How about being bit?"

"I wouldn't know." She muttered against her mouth but she shuddered when he drew the soft skin of her shoulder between his teeth and bit down gently. The soft sounds she made shot straight to his groan. She liked it. Holy hell.

"The first time somebody bit me, I didn't like it so much."

He frowned at the thought of somebody else biting her but she laughed and waved her hand. Her right hand. Where a crescent scar shape stayed cool despite her body temperature.

Even as if he knew she had survived it, he couldn't help but feel his blood boiled even hotter with anger at the thought that a vampire had tried to kill her.

No vampire would ever touch her now. He would make sure of it.

As if she sensed his anger, she curved her fingers around his jaw then nuzzled her nose against his. His eyes closed as he took a deep breath of her scent and gathered her even closer in his arms. "I'm okay, Jake."

He felt his shoulders relaxed. "I know you are, honey." He lifted her right hand and his lips seemed to burn as it touched the scar. He rubbed her back with long steady strokes and sighed when she leaned against him.

"I like this."

"Hm?" His blood was still hot in his veins but that was probably because Bella was all pressed up against him, feeling soft and curvy and smelling all delicious. Her long heavy hair streamed down her back, still damp from her shower. He played with the strands, wrapping and unwrapping her hair around his fist.

"Just being with you with your arms around me."

"Well, since I like holding you, that's fortunate."

"I've been thinking."

"Yeah?"

"What do we tell the dads?"

"The dads?" Humor riddled his voice and hearing it made her smile. Everything about him seemed to make her smile these days.

"My dad and your dad. What do we tell them?"

"Do we have to tell them anything?"

She lifted her head at that and stared at him in bemusement. "You think we should keep this a secret?"

"This?"

"Us, dating each other."

"Bells, honey, I think they already know by now."

"How? Did you tell Billy?"

"Bells, with us being in the same vicinity, the end game is pretty predictable."

She frowned. "Do you think so?"

"Do I think it's predictable or do I think that they would think so, too?"

She took a moment to think. "Both."

"Yes, both I and the dads would think so. Besides, they know _me_ so they know I wouldn't leave you alone for too long."

She smiled. "Wouldn't you?"

"Hell, no."

Her smile widened with amusement because of the 'are you crazy?' look he gave her.

"Besides, can you really imagine us being together without ending up where we are now?"

She thought about it and found herself thinking that it would be kind of impossible for them being in such close contact but not be _together_. Even when they had just met, Bella had felt a connection with the shy, awkward boy with the beautiful smile.

She tilted her head in thought. "Jake, were we ever _just _friends?"

He leaned over to give her lips a peck. "If we were, it didn't last long."

Her mouth curved against his and that encouraged him to deepen the kiss. Bella sighed into his mouth as he kissed her with slow, steady movements of his lips. Jacob was a great kisser and he actually _liked_ kissing. Bella could tell from the way he touched his mouth to hers that he could kiss her all day.

And she loved it.

Oh, she'd gone on a few dates and had kissed her share of guys but kissing Jacob was just so very different. His kisses were luscious and deliberate and he was just so focused on her that she couldn't help but feel like the only girl who was meant for him.

And it wasn't just his mouth (though that itself was enough to drive her insane). When Jacob kissed her, he did it with his whole body; the way his hands stroke her back, her shoulders, tangled in her hair, held on to her hips, wrapped around her waist, curved over her butt, the way his body seemed to gravitate toward hers as if he wanted to be closer, so much closer to her. And then there was always that low, raspy rumble in his chest that tickled hers and made her...well, you know.

And he has so many moods; playful, desperate, sly, gentle, loving, intense.

But even with his shifting moods, his kisses always told her the same thing:

I want you.

I love you.

You're_ it_ for me.

Jacob broke off their kiss and panted into her neck. "Damn. Incoming."

Bella blinked the haze out of her eyes and got off his lap just as a knock sounded on her door. "You guys decent?" Tina asked. "We're going to go home now."

"Uh, I'll be right down." Bella rushed over to the mirror in her bedroom and grimaced at her reflection. She went to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on her face in an effort to tone down her flushed complexion and took deep even breaths to control her breathing.

Jacob snickered when she muttered something about 'looking like horny teenagers after a make out session'.

"I can't speak for you, honey, but I _am_ horny and we _were_ in a make out session."

After that kiss, well, she was also horny but in no way would she ever admit it.

As they walked downstairs, she smacked him when he patted her butt in a manner that he probably thought of as affectionately comforting.

Bella ignored the snickers on her pack's faces when their eyes fell on her flushed cheeks and bruised lips.

Lulu noticed that Jake was putting on his leather jacket. "You're not staying over?"

Bella frowned, mortified with just how disappointed Lulu sound. "Of course he's not staying over."

Jacob blinked and turned wide, guileless eyes at her. "I'm not?"

Bella froze in the act of straightening a chair and stared at him. "Wha, uh, do you want to?" Then as if her brain caught up with what she just said, her face blazed brightly.

Jacob burst out laughing, reached over and hugged her to him. "Breathe, Bella." He pulled her with him as he walked outside, and the others trailed after them. Or so they thought. "I have the morning shift at JEQ anyway."

He nodded to Mercy and Caleb who had the use of Jake's Impala for as long as they had to come to Bells. They were bickering about over who gets to drive. "No stops, you guys. I'd know if you did."

Caleb groaned. "He always knows." Then he frowned before he opened the passenger's seat. Apparently he lost the keys to Mercy.

"The Pack watches over them?" Bella whispered and Jacob nodded. He walked to his bike and straddled it before inserting the keys on the ignition. "So, how does tomorrow sound?"

She waved to Caleb and Mercy as the caromed their way home. "Tomorrow?"

"Our date. Are you free tomorrow night?"

All of a sudden, several voices yelled from inside Bells. "Yes, she is."

Bella turned and yelled back, "Weren't you guys leaving?"

She rolled her eyes when they laughed like loons. "Tomorrow night would be good."

"I'll pick you up at 8?"

She nodded, suddenly feeling shy. She pushed her hair back and just looked at him and he looked back at her. Why did she feel so awkward _now_?

"So, tomorrow at 8. OK. Um, bye."

He stared at her and she shifted her feet on the sidewalk. Why was he looking at her like that? All amused and—

"OK. Um, bye?" He asked her. "What are we? Nine?"

He hooked a finger on the belt loop of her jeans and pulled her closer. "C'mere you."

She grinned. He grinned. And the awkwardness dissipated. It was that easy. "Bye." He murmured against her lips, dropping light kisses on her mouth until she laughed. He nipped her bottom lip and drew back. "Now, it's _your _turn to kiss _me_."

She lifted an eyebrow. "I think I've already kissed you enough for today."

He shook his head a little. "You haven't kissed me hello, yet."

"I haven't?"

"No."

"How thoughtless of me."

"It was." He whispered inches from her face, his breath washed against her skin, smelling like coffee and sugar. "I was kind of hurt."

"Were you? Couldn't have that." She teased and his eyes warmed in the soft glow of street lights. The light shower earlier in the night left puddles of water that gleamed like crushed stars on the dark asphalt and their shadows were long and blended into one as they moved closer and kissed.

This time the kiss was sweet and dreamlike; the kind of kiss that fairy tales were made of but this, she knew, was as real as anything in her life could ever be.

When the kiss ended, it was with a sleepy sigh and her eyelids fluttered open slowly to see him smiling at her, the kind of smile that heated her blood and warmed her heart. It brightened even more when she whispered, "Hello."

He touched their noses together, "Hi."

She saw his eyes flickered away from her before, with a small grin, he pulled back.

Bella sighed. "They're watching us, aren't they?"

Jacob waved to her friends who probably had their faces pressed on the windows by now. She looked over her shoulder and true enough, there they were.

"You guys better not get any prints on the glass!"

As an answer, Brian squirted the glass with a glass cleaner.

"See what I have to deal with?" She motioned at the smirking, clapping people who were giving her a thumbs up. Misha even had written a perfect 10 on her sketching pad and waving it around.

Jacob laughed.


	40. Authors Comments

GUYs! **THE PASSING YEARS** won second place** CANINE COMEDIANS** in **THE JACOB BLACK-N-PACK** Awards! Thanks for those who voted for me! You guys are awesome! BTW, I've finally finished the revision for my _would-be_ published novel and gonna send it off tomorrow so I'll finally have free time to **update** THE PASSING YEARS. My other novel **TOUCHED** is also almost done so I am searching for a publisher in **Singapore** (if you know any let me know).

Just wanna say though, you guys are **awesome**. You guys are loyal and so very giving. It's because you all keep encouraging me that I continue to write and now I'm going to be a published author! And it's all possible because of how you praise, nag, threaten, beg and for some, downright stalkery. Thanks for kicking my ass and being so patient with me!

Anyway, just wanna say thanks. And updates will continue two more days. For real this time. Even if my editors want me to revise my novel again.


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